I have a psychological disorder

[Organism]

It's true. I have this wonderful thing known as "Social Anxiety Disorder", or "Social Phobia".

 

It probably sounds ridiculous to you, but it's actually ruining my life.

 

I find myself over-analysing, dreading, and (when possible) avoiding social situations all together because of it. This has lead to me becomming extremely isolated, and therefore spend much of my time stewing in my own thoughts. I don't feel like I can be myself.

 

It's a really strange mindset to be in. I know that the fears are irrational, but it's as though there's a large part of my brain that I simply have no control over.

 

 

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Feel free to tell me how pitiful and cowardly I am, etc. Hopefully your wise contributions will help me get a grip.

[TimbaLanD]

Do you find it difficult to communicate with people? What is that you find it discomforting when dealing with people? I am no expert, but if you are able to realise this, I am sure you are capable of overcoming it.

[Dak]

my mate's got this. he finds that going out with mates helps (eg, to the pub with lots of people that he's confortable with) and trying to avoid staying in specifically 'cos he's scared (ie, if he doesnt feel like going out then he wont, but if he doesnt feel like it 'cos he's scared, then hell force himself to go out).

 

Ultimately tho, if you want help you should see either a psycologist or a counsiler.

[Organism]

Do you find it difficult to communicate with people? What is that you find it discomforting when dealing with people? I am no expert, but if you are able to realise this, I am sure you are capable of overcoming it.

 

I'm fine communicating with people who I feel comfortable around, such as my family. I struggle though communicating with people who I don't know. Around people I don't know my brain seems to switch into a completely different mode. I tend to feel anxious and it's difficult to think straight in these kinds of situations.

 

 

my mate's got this. he finds that going out with mates helps (eg' date=' to the pub with lots of people that he's confortable with) and trying to avoid staying in specifically 'cos he's scared (ie, if he doesnt feel like going out then he wont, but if he doesnt feel like it 'cos he's scared, then hell force himself to go out).

 

Ultimately tho, if you want help you should see either a psycologist or a counsiler.[/quote']

 

Yeah, they say that the best way to deal with it is to force yourself into these sorts of situations, rather than just avoiding them. I fear though that, for me, this'll just make things worse.

 

I haven't seen a psychologist or a councillor about it, and I don't plan to. Not even my family know about it. I'd rather not involve a 3rd party really.

[Psycho]

I have the same problem and i can't really find any ways to counter it, the best thing i find and have read is distraction, i have become prone to spinning coins in my fingers and fiddling with stuff as it is a distraction and helps the anxeity, i find i just get really nervous about going to somewhere, once i am there i am normally fine and my brain goes into relaxed mode when it gets over the fears that were clearly never going to be a problem anyway.

 

The problem i find is i will sit down, and just get nervous and feel sick, even though i sit at the same time thinking that it is a ridculos reason to feel like it as it obviously isn't going to be a problem, but i can't seem to tell by sub-conicious brain that.

 

I also find i get nervous and alot of anxiety, for seeming no reason, but in reality it is because of something, but i don't no what, and i literally have to put a jig saw together in my mind to work out what it most likely is.

[aj47]

I haven't seen a psychologist or a councillor about it' date=' and I don't plan to. Not even my family know about it. I'd rather not involve a 3rd party really.[/quote']

 

You might not feel like it, but telling someone about your problem and really sitting down and talking to them about it can be extremely beneficial.

 

If you really dont want to speak to someone close to you, try a counsellor who will be able to relate to you, identify the cause of your anxiety and give you alot beter advice then anyone here can. Really the worst thing you can do is hide away from your problems as they will inevitabely get worse.

[Psycho]

You might not feel like it' date=' but telling someone about your problem and really sitting down and talking to them about it can be extremely beneficial.

 

If you really dont want to speak to someone close to you, try a counsellor who will be able to relate to you, identify the cause of your anxiety and give you alot beter advice then anyone here can. Really the worst thing you can do is hide away from your problems as they will inevitabely get worse.[/quote']

The cause of the problem varies though, there is no static cause, it is just anything you might get nervous about, exams, meeting up with people, ect.

 

I normally find it is socail situation, but once i have been therefore a while, it is just getting there and the first like half hour, until i completly forget about it and just relax.

[aj47]

I guess i'm only speculating as I don't know what its like, but I would imagine with social anxiety you could differentiate between the situations that cause anxiety and those that don't.

 

Anyway regardless I still think talking to someone would be the first step in helping the problem. Personally at times I can be quite introverted with emotions etc and I have had problems in the past which I think escallated due to me keeping them to myself and constantly dwelling on them. However even though I still hate what I see as 'burdening people with my problems' I still make myself talk to people about whats bothering me as it always seems to help.

[reor]

Distraction, controlled breath and fun. That's been my own therapy and it worked. Sure, there's more to that, but this is the outline. Talking to someone can help, too. And sports.

Also, trust in yourself!

 

I like to spin pens around my fingers to train my concentration. I reward myself, if i manage something that's difficult to me. When i feel anxiety coming up i take a deep breath and think of something nice.

Exercise is a nice distraction and does your body good. Controlled breathing can help You "recapture" Your mind.

 

You can always mail me! I'm curious how other people feel and what they experience.

[dirtyamerica]

It's true. I have this wonderful thing known as "Social Anxiety Disorder"' date=' or "Social Phobia".

 

It probably sounds ridiculous to you, but it's actually ruining my life.

 

I find myself over-analysing, dreading, and (when possible)[i'] avoiding[/i] social situations all together because of it. This has lead to me becomming extremely isolated, and therefore spend much of my time stewing in my own thoughts. I don't feel like I can be myself.

 

It's a really strange mindset to be in. I know that the fears are irrational, but it's as though there's a large part of my brain that I simply have no control over.

 

 

---------

 

Feel free to tell me how pitiful and cowardly I am, etc. Hopefully your wise contributions will help me get a grip.

 

Join the club! You're not pitiful or cowardly. You obviously haven't taken Psychology 101 or seen the commercial for it. You described me although I haven't been diagnosed. When I get the courage to go to a shrink someday it'll be for depression or just a general analysis on what the hell is wrong with me. In the meantime I find that hanging with friends or family is a breeze. But I must prepare emotionally ahead of time to socialize with strangers in advance if there is no purpose or common theme to conversation. I overanalyze things as well. However, get me in a forum or in front of people where I can "socially lubricate" (as I call drinking) and I feel normal and content to relax and talk with people I don't know one bit.

 

If it impacts your life bad enough, get that help otherwise you're going to have to live with it and accept it.

[TimbaLanD]

I'm fine communicating with people who I feel comfortable around' date=' such as my family. I struggle though communicating with people who I don't know. Around people I don't know my brain seems to switch into a completely different [i']mode[/i]. I tend to feel anxious and it's difficult to think straight in these kinds of situationsQUOTE]

 

Maybe you've had a bad experience in the past?? I found this link extremely useful. I read it a while back and it made a lot of sense. It may help you as well.

 

http://www.thubtenchodron.org/DealingWithEmotions/dealing_with_anxiety.html

[j_p]

It's true. I have this wonderful thing known as "Social Anxiety Disorder"' date=' or "Social Phobia".

 

It probably sounds ridiculous to you, but it's actually ruining my life.

 

I find myself over-analysing, dreading, and (when possible)[i'] avoiding[/i] social situations all together because of it. This has lead to me becomming extremely isolated, and therefore spend much of my time stewing in my own thoughts. I don't feel like I can be myself.

 

It's a really strange mindset to be in. I know that the fears are irrational [emphasis mine], but it's as though there's a large part of my brain that I simply have no control over.

 

Feel free to tell me how pitiful and cowardly I am, etc. Hopefully your wise contributions will help me get a grip.

 

The first step to recovery is recognizing that your fears are not irrational; it is a cruel world.

 

The second step is recognizing that they are excessive. Social situations will not kill you.

 

Torture, but not kill.

 

Are you by chance

1.) young

2.) smart

3.) scientificly inclined, and finally,

4.) less attractive than most of the public images of people of your age and gender?

 

If so, you will outgrow the first, are typical in respect to the last, and in time you will find associates who value the second and third.

 

Still, you want better advice than, 'Don't worry'.

 

In social situations, watch people, listen to them; don't focus on yourself. And be charitable toward others.

[Psycho]

The first step to recovery is recognizing that your fears are not irrational; it is a cruel world.

 

The second step is recognizing that they are excessive. Social situations will not kill you.

 

Torture' date=' but not kill.

 

Are you by chance

1.) young

2.) smart

3.) scientificly inclined, and finally,

4.) less attractive than most of the public images of people of your age and gender?

 

If so, you will outgrow the first, are typical in respect to the last, and in time you will find associates who value the second and third.

 

Still, you want better advice than, 'Don't worry'.

 

In social situations, [i']watch[/i] people, listen to them; don't focus on yourself. And be charitable toward others.

 

THat was really bad advise, as they are completly irrational, explain how meeting up with your friends is someing to get nervous about and it not be completly irrational?

 

1) Yes relativly

2) Well i supposs i am above average but not espeically

3) WTF would i be doing here if i wasn't

4) No

 

I completly confident with how i look, i would call myself good looking, and so have others, the point is i just get anxiety over things when it should be fine.

[j_p]

THat was really bad advise' date=' as they are completly irrational, explain how meeting up with your friends is someing to get nervous about and it not be completly irrational?

 

1) Yes relativly

2) Well i supposs i am above average but not espeically

3) WTF would i be doing here if i wasn't

4) No

 

I completly confident with how i look, i would call myself good looking, and so have others, the point is i just get anxiety over things when it should be fine.[/quote']

 

Actually, I was answering the OP,

I'm fine communicating with people who I feel comfortable around' date=' such as my family. I struggle though communicating with people who I don't know. Around people I don't know my brain seems to switch into a completely different mode. I tend to feel anxious and it's difficult to think straight in these kinds of situations.

[/quote']

who apparently does not have irrational fear of socializing with friends and family, but is anxious only with strangers. [Not that fear of one's family is always irrational, but that is OT.]

 

This is not irrational; one never knows when someone is going to respond with hostility after failing to pay sufficient attention to one's statements.

 

[You might review my earlier advice. Your post indicates that you could benefit from it.]

[GutZ]

*High Five*

 

I have it too, it use to be very very bad (VERY BAD), where even now I have problems talking or being with family, but not nearly as bad as before. It's just I had it for ...14 years without knowing it for about 10.

 

Your going to find that not many people understand it who don't have it. That's natural, I bet you have a hard time explaining it as well to others.

 

I'll be back to add more, back to work.

 

::Back from Work::

 

Where was I? Oh yeah.

 

Knowing me I would and did look it up myself, or you already been to a professional and got the "diagnostic".

 

See I'll be truthifully honest. From my own experience, I've taken every approach possible. People will say you just have to jump in there and do it. Well they don't understand that the person they see, and the person that is "you" are completely different. You know what I am talking about, you said it in your post, it's like a switch that instantly changes your mindset where your only capable of irrational, unlogical, etc, thinking. It's not just the mindset its thought behaviour and physical behaviour. For me I shake, sweat, get dizzy, mind rushes, everything. Alot of people have phobias but alot of them dont deal with them on a daily basis for that length of time. It's not only redicule it's about upsetting people you talk too, your always trying to find the perfect thing to say, but no matter what it's never perfect, even if you could say something perfect you realize its impossible to do in the time frame of a initated conversation so you become even more self conscious of your words and the way you look to them, you know your scared and you know they know, I could keep going on and on.

 

You can't really sum up this disorder, you can't explain it, and I think thats why it's not very well know professionally.

 

There are things you can do, but you have to be COMMITTED!

 

1)Seek professional help

2)Try the medication (if only for the first three months, at that point make up your mind if you want to keep using it, it's lets just say somewhat tough to be on)

3) Cognitive Behaviour treatment (That's the more logical answer, medication works for a bit and you just keep increasing the dose, some professionals will want to keep you on during this treatment, but make sure you express your concerns as HARD as it maybe to do so)

4)Weightlifting/Martial Arts/Runninging sports - I like weightlifting because I can do it alone with no one to bother me, but it helps alot getting rid of that whole days built up stress, and it gives you self-esteem. Not right away but, you will feel better after you see the change in strength, to me I always thought I might not beable to defend myself verbally, but I for sure as hell going to make sure I can do it physically, So I was either in Martial Arts or weight training whenever I could, and it helped knowing that.

 

I am still in it all, I could say I've past the highest point but I still need alot of work myself, and I haven't committed the time to do so because I need to work for school (coop) which on one had is good because it forces me to "practice", and on the other hand if I am tired I just go into an irrational bunker for the whole week.

 

What's worked for me is simply, force yourself to pretend. It sound silly, but its like acting. I have specific phobias as well where I have problems like; Saying peoples names (fear of saying it incorrectly, Ironically my name is Jeroen, very hard to pronounce and I dont care what people call me but anyway) so like for example "Hello, how are you 'name'?" Then may when I got that down confidentially you go to tone of voice (I am sure you are soft spoken as well). It's like working your phobia in reverse, your training your brain to subconsciously say things without thought, where as you create fear subconsciously without thought with the phobia.

 

I could keep going on, but if you like just PM me whenever and we can chat about it all, I don't mind, I rather do that then talk to myself like I usually do LOL.

 

Remember part of it is because 90% of the population doesn't have the degree of what you have, they see those little anxieties as things you just get over. Quite frankly I'd be more comfortable with a gun to my head then any social situation, because they aren't little, I mean I get those too, but it's nothing in comparsion. So don't undermind the difficulty but don't think either that because they do it so easy, you should too, there are alot of things I can do that most people can't because of what I have, it's just no one sees it because they don't dwell on that, where you, me, and the next guy do.