Nevermore Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 top ten google queries 10. Jessica alba naked 9. How remove fork ear 8. rabies in infants 7. what do sentient toast 6. Bomb al-quida Bush anthrax 5. hot kindergartener on kindergartener action 4. Angelina Jolie naked 3. pneumatic drill stuck in scrotum 2. remove platypus anus 1. Natalie Portman naked Ten signs your new roommate is a homosexual narcoleptic cow in a man costume
In My Memory Posted June 13, 2006 Author Posted June 13, 2006 10) You look under your roommates mattress and find Homosexual Narcoleptic Cow fetish magazines 9) ... 8) ... 7) ... 6) ... 5) ... 4) ... 3) ... 2) ... 1) wtf, nevermore? Reasons why the whole world, even your parents, even your dog, hates you.
1veedo Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 10) You look under your roommates mattress and find Homosexual Narcoleptic Cow fetish magazines 9) Your roommate is Nevermore 8) Your roommate falls asleep every time he goes to a farm 7) Every time your roommate takes a crap the toilet gets clogged up 6) Your roommate sneezes milk and moos oftain. 5) Your roommate falls asleep in class. 4) ... 3) ... 2) ... 1) wtf, nevermore?
1veedo Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Reasons why the whole world, even your parents, even your dog, hates you 10) You're a homosexual narcoleptic cow in a man costume
Phi for All Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Top 10 Reasons why the whole world, even your parents, even your dog, hates you: 10. You recieve Windows ME as a birthday gift 9. Your shoes smell like urine and you don't own a dog 8. Starbucks runs out of coffee when you get up to the counter 7. At your parent's barbeque, you get the two leftover buns but no hot dogs 6. Reality TV 5. Your parents try to find your runaway dog and never come back 4. Everyone you try to talk to holds up a preprinted sign that says, "Drop dead, Bob!" 3. The folks block SFN access 2. Friends chip in to buy you "Russian Roulette for Dummies". 1. You receive a postcard with a picture of Hell saying "Wish you were here!" signed by every living thing on Earth. Top 10 Reasons your Roommate May be an Escaped Mental Patient
the tree Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Reasons why the whole world, even your parents, even your dog, hates you. 10. You do terrible physcological damage to your dog. 9. You do terrible physcological damage to your parents. 8.You do terrible physcological damage to everyone one else in the world. 7. You commit terrible acts of violence toward your dog. 6. Youcommit terrible acts of violence toward your parents. 5. You commit terrible acts of violence toward everyone one else in the world. 4. You do terrible, sexual, things to your dog. 3. You do terrible, sexual, things to your parents. 2. You do terrible, sexual, things to everyone one else in the world. 1. You cheat by in a simple thread game by abusing copy+paste. Top 10 Reasons your Roommate May be an Escaped Mental Patient 10. He arrived shortly after the institution announced having lost a mental patient. 9. He drinks milk from the bottom of the carton, somehow. 8. He insists that he is an escaped mental patient. 7. He has murdered your previous roommates and repeatedly tries to murder you. 6. He wears a bowtie before 6 o'clock. 5. His name is Crazy McGee. 4. He is truly, wiser than us all. 3. At christmas, he asked for Windows ME. 2. He is president of the United States of America. 1. Hi is a homosexual narcoleptic cow in a man costume. Next topic: ways to tell your parents that you're a homosexual narcoleptic cow in a man costume. edit Phi posted ahead of me, hence the two lists.
Phi for All Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Top 10 ways to tell your parents that you're a homosexual narcoleptic cow in a man costume: 10. "How can you sit there and drink milk while I..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 9. "Dad, I could trim your hair instead of barbecuing those..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 8. "Mom, I've been sneaking your birth control pills and the hormones have..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 7. "Zipper? No, it's the scar from when I had my append..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 6. "Remember when I went Vegan and ate nothing but grass and played Bette Midler rec..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 5. "I'm going to redecorate the box my Gateway came in and live there..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 4. "Nothing for me, Mom, I just had a low-fat Soy Chai and some cud with frien..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 3. "Mom, Dad, I've decided to be a manicurist and moooove out of..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 2. "Folks, this is Kenny. He's a farmer with really warm hands and..." zzzzzzzzzzzz 1. "Dad, it's not what you think. I spend a long time in the bathroom in the morning mostly grooming and... and... milking myself. That is what you thought I was doing?! I'm so glad to come out of the barn on this..." zzzzzzzzzzzz Next List Top 10 Healthy Foods That Aren't Selling
ecoli Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Next List Top 10 Healthy Foods That Aren't Selling Please note that I know about these foods because my mother buys them all 10) Whole wheat 1 thousand grain bread 9) Wheatless waffles 8) Rice Cream 7) Amaranth Flakes 6) Eggless scrambled egg 5) Polenta-crust pie 4) Organic Muesli in soymilk 3) Wheat germ topping 2) Barleygrass juice 1) Quinoa with steamed vegetables Top ten most annoying habits that the people around you always seem to have
the tree Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Top ten annoying habits that people around you always seem to have. 10. Being better looking than me 9. Being smarter than me. 8. Offering to buy everyone lunch, exactly after I've finished eating. 7. Introducing me to homosexual narcoleptic cows in man costumes. 6. Eating the severed limbs of thier victims, and getting the blood all over the desk. 5. Ripping out the very soul of thier loved one, casting it to the floor and then spitting on it, missing, and hitting my shoe. 4. Playing satanic black metal whenever God is around, making me and him feel so awkward. 3. Biting thier fingernails. 2. Playing that game with the knife and the fingers, whilst resting thier hand on my back. 1. Asking me what I'm doing in a girlscout meeting. Next topic: What are women good for?
ecoli Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Next topic: What are women good for? 10) Absolutely nothing... oh wait, that's war. 9) Breakfast 8) Lunch 7) dinner 6) Midnight snack 5) sex 4) Telling you what to do and when to do it 3) using numbers 5-9 to get you to do what they want 2) spending your money 1) ripping your heart out of our chest and stepping on it when they decide they're bored with you, even when they seem happy with numbers 2-5. top ten stupidest national holidays (real or made up)
Phi for All Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 top ten stupidest national holidays (real or made up) 10. Aggravate A Postal Worker Day 9. Billionaire Day 8. Turn Off Your Computer Day 7. Drugsgiving 6. Trash Day 5. Zoroastmas 4. Spudfest 3. Bacon Day 2. Stiff Your Waiter Day 1. Spit in Your Customer's Food Day (waiters only) Next List: Top 10 Jobs You Don't Want
scicop Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Top 10 Jobs you don't want: 10. S**T collector 9. Infectious waste disposal technician 8. A Fluffer 7. Porno-store booth cleaner 6. Gastroentrologist 5. Radioshack Sales Associate 4. New York City Police Officer 3. Non-unioned construction worker 2. McDonalds Fry Maker 1. Research Assistant Professor Next topic: Top 10 reasons you hate cops
YT2095 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 1. they make lousey posts. 2. they listen to the wrong people often (unlike Charlies angels who only listen to a speaker on a desk) 3. they have a law for them and another for the rest of us. 4. the duality, Good cop/ Bad cop (It`s Never convincing) 5. they`re Sneaky (unlike Starsky and Hutch) 6. did I mention they make lousey posts? 7. infrequently to Never admit they`re actualy Wrong (ever used the staff toilet!?) 8. spelled backwards sounds too much like a Star-Trek personality. 9. their driving often sucks, but lets blame the Civi 10. their posts... did I mention that? (and hate`s a strong word anyway, I don`t Hate cops, Despise is closer ) 10 reasons to beleive you`ll get Laid eventualy
Phi for All Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 10 reasons to beleive you`ll get Laid eventualy 10. Occam's Razor proves it must be my after-shave 9. Penile enhancement procedure almost complete 8. Neighbor's Great Dane winked at me yesterday 7. Subscribed to Roofie-of-the-Month Club 6. Got rid of most of my polyester 5. Found a glue for my fake sideburns that is unaffected by copious sweating 4. Best friend's grandma said she'd "do me" 3. Found "work-around" solution to the incontinence thing 2. Caught Marge from Accounting stealing a copy paper after her retirement party 1. Women can't ALL be smarter than me Next List: Top 10 Saints You've Never Heard Of
Nevermore Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Next list: Top 10 saints you've never heard of 10. Saint Billy Bob 9. Saint Mordachi 8. Saint Fabio 7. Saint Rocky 6. Saint Cher 5. Saint Shaq 4. Saint phallus-face 3. Saint Bob 2. Saint Brandi 1. Saint Schmitty Warbenmenjenkinyenson Next list: 10 extreme sports that never caught on
ecoli Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Next list: 10 extreme sports that never caught on 10) eXtreme sitting 9) eXtreme napping 8) eXtreme jumping in between buildings 7) eXtreme scuba-diving 6) eXtreme movie marathon 5) eXtreme crop dusting 4) eXtreme tap dancing 3) eXtreme Elvis impersonation 2) eXtreme hoola hoop 1) eXtreme SFN posting 10 reasons your science paper got rejected for publication
5614 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 10. Dog ate it 9. It was written by a creatonist 8. It supported the creationist view 7. It was affiliated with a creationist 6. It was copied from wikipedia 5. Basically, it was crap 4. coz u r teh suxors at gramer 3. Porn does not count as a scientific paper 2. You just can't teach an old dog quantum physics 1. Consistently writting three atoms of potassium as "KKK" Top 10 things not to do in the morning
Phi for All Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 10 reasons your science paper got rejected for publication 10. All math done in base J 9. Embedded porn links 8. Arrived wrapped around fish 7. No one got your "pier review" fish jokes 6. Too many Al Gore references 5. Written on 3x5 cards 4. Funny parts not highlighted properly 3. Title of the paper, "Retardation Among Science Publication Editors" 2. Unprecedented use of sock puppets 1. Crayon smears Top 10 Reasons You Should Be Earth's Emperor / Empress
AzurePhoenix Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Top 10 Reasons You Should Be Earth's Emperor / Empress 10. I'll address the Canadian Threat before it's too late 9. There's little chance of me being assassinated by a pretzal, unlike SOME world leaders out there... 8. I don't give a crap about political parties or their agendas 7. Every Thursday will be "Half Off Tacos Night" 6. Penguins, hedgehogs and armadillos will finally be given the rights and freedoms that humanity has so long denied them 5. Richard Simmons will be declared illegal 4. It's good to keep the people on their toes with the constant threat of random population purges 3. I'll attempt to reach a peace agreement with the Dolphin Nation 2. I wear alotta miniskirts 1. I'll f*cking end you if you don't do what I say top ten things not to do with cuddly critters
reor Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Top 10 things not[/u'] to do in the morning 10. bowling ball baseball 9. vodka + beer + tequila + orange juice 8. urinating through your window (while it's closed) 7. more orange juice 6. cutting your wrists 5. viagra overdose 4. calling everyone you hate (all football players of the team your team lost against) and tell them they suck (sounded like a good strategy at first) 3. yet more orange juice and some coffee 2. trying that new fragrance 1. quitting your well-payed job and spending all your money on ice cream (don't do drugs, m'kay?) top ten things not to do with cuddly critters 10. shave them 9. feed them to larger critters 8. feed them to smaller critters 7. eat them yourself 6. throw them at a wall 5. throw them on the speedway 4. having your kids watching it 3. feed them sodium bicarbonate 2. sit on them (with your best suit on) 1. stuff them and sell them to kids Next on SFN: Top 10 things you'd never expect (or want) your (girl)friend to say
chemfreak Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 1) I love you 2) lets go to the football game 3) let's have "some fun" 4) i'll clean up after the dog today! 5) Im sorry that i have been cheatinng on yiu 6) it's over 7) im a homosexual narcoleptic cow dressed as a woman 8) im a guy 9) I love cartoon violence 10) how bought I don't go shopping today.
ecoli Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 as long as there is a temporary break in this game, let me say that this is an excellent game and thanks to IMM for cooking it up
Phi for All Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Top 10 New Games/Gags to Play at the Office 10. Paper Airplanes by the Ream 9. Order Viagra online from everyone else's computer 8. Laser Pointer Tag 7. Bring "herb" bagels 6. Toner Wars 5. Tape paper clips to the bottom of everyone's microwave meals 4. Hide the stapler in the telephone 3. Digitize your butt 2. Super Glue + Keyboard = Hilarity 1. "Porno-tize" the PowerPoint presentation Next: Top 10 Automobile Names that Never Caught On
GutZ Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Next: Top 10 Automobile Names that Never Caught On 10. Lawnmover 9. Guzzler 8. CrankStarter 7. Butterfly 6. Lemon 5. Fluffer 4. NF-Brak 3. Pink Power 2. X3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169 SE 1. Flamer Next: Top 10 accomplishments of those friendly Canadians. (have fun!)
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