Commericals and product warnings.

[GutZ]

The fact that redbull has warnings that say "red bull doesn't actually give you wings" in it's commercial make me very sad. Here in Canada Tim Horton cups have warnings like "This coffee is hot".

 

-_-'

 

The hell! How will this evolve? How far will it go?

 

Commerical: A friendly message from your local police "Please don't step in front of cars."

 

maybe shoes with instructions... Place feet in shoes. stand up, move one leg foward and then the other, balance is key.

 

I tell you, it's hard to optimisic with this world.

[Rocket Man]

they put warnings on guns, knives, blenders, cakes, anything the lawyers feel the need to put warnings on

what they really need to do is kick people out of court when it relates to false advertising, bleeding obdvious dangers etc. people should do their research, and THINK

the world would be a much happier place

 

thought is a dangerous pass-time i indulge in whenever possible.

 

however, small warnings such as chemicals and food additives are important, you never know what crap the manufacturers use.

(they even try to hide it by disusing the E-numbers)

 

i think they're trying to offset higher education with taking the need to think from us.

[padren]

I started to worry when I saw grocery stores putting ads on the floor - it made me realize that we have a TON advertisers out there, and as all the other medias have gotten saturated, many of them are still trying to stay employed and are actively trying to clutter our lives with whatever little innovation can put food on their tables for one more week.

 

I guess its no different with lawyers

 

I love the warnings for prescription drugs, it always reminds me of happy fun ball.

 

Or the ad for "liquid stitches" that said "ask your EM about liquid stitches" and a view of a hospital room from the perspective of an emergency ambulence gurney - that was priceless...can't imagine actually telling an EM how to do his job by pitching products I've heard of that he can use to stitch me up though.

[YT2095]

the silliest one I rem seeing was on a jar of whole Nutmegs, on the back it said "Warning, may contain traces of Nuts or Seeds"

 

Well I should Bloody Hope SO! )

[insane_alien]

maybe we should get one for SFN: Caution: May cause thought.

 

I really hate the obvious ones. if someone doesn't have enough common sense to know these already then they need to be shot(exceptions are; babies, mentally disabled and ehhh... nope thats it.)

[aj47]

What used to make me laugh was on the packet of a novelty rubber hand I used to have it gave the warning ''Caution Do Not Eat''. As to how someone could physically eat something like that is beyond me.

[why?]

I couldn't agree more. But it's really not because of the manufacturers.. they dont really want to waste their ink but people who do lawsuits on them. A lady sued some fastfood placing selling hot coffee. Apparently she didnt have a cup holder so she put it in between her thighs and they got burnt.

[JohnB]

A lady sued some fastfood placing selling hot coffee. Apparently she didnt have a cup holder so she put it in between her thighs and they got burnt.

IIRC, the woman suffered 3rd degree burns due to the coffee not being hot, but boiling hot. Coffee at that temp is undrinkable and again IIRC the vendor had been warmed on some three previous occasions about the matter.

 

Product warnings are a serious business and I believe that we should join with the rest of the scientific community and call for serious and factual warning labels. From http://www.msu.edu/user/dynicrai/physics/warning.htm

 

Warning: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.

 

Warning: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe,

including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to

the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance between Them.

 

Caution: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

 

Handle with Extreme Care: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles per Hour.

 

Consumer Notice: Because of the 'Uncertainty Principle,' It Is Impossible

for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This

Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.

 

Advisory: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a

Process Known as 'Tunneling,' This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbors Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.

 

Read This Before Opening Package: According to Certain Suggested Versions of a Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting This Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred MillionYears.

 

This is a 100% Matter product: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.

 

Public Notice as Required by Law: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.

 

Note: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a 'Gluing' Force About Which Little Is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.

 

Attention: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer Is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.

 

New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are 'Rolled Up' into Such a Small 'Area' That They Cannot Be Detected.

 

Please Note: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

 

Component equivalency notice: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.

 

Health Warning: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.

 

Important Notice to Purchasers: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot be Guaranteed.

 

For a real laugh, real warnings can be found here. (Along with some choice quotes through the ages. )