I Hate This Life

[herme3]

I'm not really sure how to begin this post...

 

I thought I was purchasing something worth thousands of dollars, but I just realized that I'm not going to get it. I guess I could have written a long and angry post about it, but I don't think anyone here would benefit from hearing me ramble about something that doesn't affect them.

 

Besides, I should be used to it by now. No matter what I try to do, everything just fails. Nothing ever works out for me, and I just end up losing my money. I'd like to think that I could be someone successful, but I just keep falling for scams. I've tried to start several online companies throughout my entire life, but all of them failed.

 

I go to college and work at a job, but my life is just so empty. I want my life to have a purpose. If I owned a company and could be a business leader, maybe I would feel more important to this world. Instead, I'm just nobody. I go to college, and then go to work, but then there is just emptiness. There is just an empty gap where other people have friends, and the feeling of being accepted. Without it, I could never mean anything to this world.

 

I'm sick of looking at this world from the other side. It's like everyone else is living their lives, and I'm just observing them. People communicate feelings of happiness with each other, and I just watch them. Some people are famous leaders, and others look at them with respect. However, nobody thinks of me as a friend or a leader. I seem to have absolutely no purpose.

 

I tried to make friends back when I was in high school. I actually made a friend, and I was able to talk to her everyday. But, now I've graduated from high school and we never talk to each other anymore. I never realized how important her friendship was to me until now. Anyway, I've now realized that the whole concept of making friends is pointless for me. As soon as I have a close friend, I'm going to leave college and lose that friend. I don't think it's worth going through the pain of losing a close friend again.

 

I'm just not sure what to do with my life anymore. It feels so empty and pointless now...

 

Anyway, I apologize for writing this post. It has no point, and I have no idea why I'm submitting it.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

There are three things I will say on this topic, although it's something rather hard to comment on.

 

1. Don't be disappointed by a business failure when you're not even out of college. At this stage in life, you don't have much practical experience, knowledge, and credentials (not to insult you, btw). Wait for your graduation and start looking for an opportunity that would suit you, and you would enjoy doing. It doesn't matter if it's your own business or someone else's, as long as you're happy where you work.
   
2. Make friends up the wazoo. You won't necessarily lose them after college - that's why you get their email addresses and phone numbers so you can talk to them and keep in touch after you graduate. No, don't tell me you can't make good friends that soon and progress that fast - many people do it, and the most common reason people don't do it is because of shyness. Try taking a simple public speaking class or just socializing at random sometime. You may find you learn a lot about people just talking to them, even if you're not friends, and it can help build up relationships rather nicely. And no, just walking up and talking to somebody won't kill you, unless they're actually an irritable tarantula or something.
   
3. I'd better not see any nasty comments in this thread. Please stay serious.
   

[Rebiu]

I'm not really sure how to begin this post...

 

I thought I was purchasing something worth thousands of dollars' date=' but I just realized that I'm not going to get it. I guess I could have written a long and angry post about it, but I don't think anyone here would benefit from hearing me ramble about something that doesn't affect them.[/quote']You will never know if you do not say what it is.

 

Besides' date=' I should be used to it by now. No matter what I try to do, everything just fails. Nothing ever works out for me, and I just end up losing my money. I'd like to think that I could be someone successful, but I just keep falling for scams. I've tried to start several online companies throughout my entire life, but all of them failed.[/quote']Try Mutual Funds and remember its all about long term investment.

 

I go to college and work at a job' date=' but my life is just so empty. I want my life to have a purpose. If I owned a company and could be a business leader, maybe I would feel more important to this world. Instead, I'm just nobody. I go to college, and then go to work, but then there is just emptiness. There is just an empty gap where other people have friends, and the feeling of being accepted. Without it, I could never mean anything to this world.[/quote']Learning and family are what give live meaning.

I'm sick of looking at this world from the other side. It's like everyone else is living their lives, and I'm just observing them. People communicate feelings of happiness with each other, and I just watch them. Some people are famous leaders, and others look at them with respect. However, nobody thinks of me as a friend or a leader. I seem to have absolutely no purpose.

We all must find our niche.

 

I tried to make friends back when I was in high school. I actually made a friend' date=' and I was able to talk to her everyday. But, now I've graduated from high school and we never talk to each other anymore. I never realized how important her friendship was to me until now. Anyway, I've now realized that the whole concept of making friends is pointless for me. As soon as I have a close friend, I'm going to leave college and lose that friend. I don't think it's worth going through the pain of losing a close friend again.[/quote']You must live in the now.

 

I'm just not sure what to do with my life anymore. It feels so empty and pointless now...

I felt the way you do and I dropped out of college and became a professional prizefighter for ten years.

 

Anyway' date=' I apologize for writing this post. It has no point, and I have no idea why I'm submitting it.[/quote']Just try to relax and enjoy the little things while you make a plan that includes you finding happiness.

[Rebiu]

[*]I'd better not see any nasty comments in this thread. Please stay serious.

I for one am wounded by you lack of faith in our community.

[mike90]

You haven't seen how mean spirited people can be on here sometimes too though. Not most but a few. I came on here to give you some advice Herme but i don't know, I probably need it as much as you do. I'm in pretty much the same boat.

 

The only thing I have giving my life meaning right now is my job.No girlfriend and pretty much no friends. The only socializing i get on a regular basis is at work. So i know how you feel. Just try not to get so down on yourself.

 

You have to remember a lot of other people have been through or are going through what you are. It's part of the human condition, trying to find your niche socially. It's just harder for some then others.

 

Just remember you've got friends here Herme and don't worry about not having purpose in your life right now. A lot of people struggle with that, especially at your age.

[Dak]

Besides, I should be used to it by now. No matter what I try to do, everything just fails. Nothing ever works out for me, and I just end up losing my money. I'd like to think that I could be someone successful, but I just keep falling for scams. I've tried to start several online companies throughout my entire life, but all of them failed.

 

at least you tried. sorry if that sounds patronising, but lots of people have wants and ideas, but dont bother enacting them, which is stupid imo.

 

its better to have tried and failed than not to have tried. not trying = auto failure.

 

I go to college and work at a job, but my life is just so empty. I want my life to have a purpose. If I owned a company and could be a business leader, maybe I would feel more important to this world. Instead, I'm just nobody. I go to college, and then go to work, but then there is just emptiness. There is just an empty gap where other people have friends, and the feeling of being accepted. Without it, I could never mean anything to this world.

 

I'm sick of looking at this world from the other side. It's like everyone else is living their lives, and I'm just observing them. People communicate feelings of happiness with each other, and I just watch them. Some people are famous leaders, and others look at them with respect. However, nobody thinks of me as a friend or a leader. I seem to have absolutely no purpose.

 

harsh

 

same advice as above. its better to try, and fail, to make friends -- or make then loose friends -- than to not have try atall. so, dont give up!

 

when i was a kid, i was, to be frank, a complete asshole, so i didn't have any friends. now, i'm not a complete arsehole, and i have friends. im actually pretty inclined to be really shy, so i guess that's quite an accomplishment.

 

Not saying your situation is directly analogus, just that these things can change, so dont give up hope of making friends.

 

and, being 'inportant' doesnt mean anything. do you hold hitler in higher reguard than a nice dustbin man?

 

I tried to make friends back when I was in high school. I actually made a friend, and I was able to talk to her everyday. But, now I've graduated from high school and we never talk to each other anymore.

 

phone her dude

[padren]

Its the pains in life that make you aware you are still in the game - if you didn't care so much it wouldn't hurt so much, so take it as a good sign that many times life is painful.

 

 

I've gone through some very long phases of "not such good times" and can relate, life was horridly painful for much of 8 years and then I lost it all and for 2 years had even less.

The one plus I've always had (I guess) is that I've always felt that life just has many puzzles to solve, and the more you live the more you learn and the sooner you find out what works for you and gives your life joy.

 

Life is pretty damn good right now, but I can tell you the first 28 were largely pretty harsh, its only been over the last two years that things have come together.

 

All I can say is I'd gladly suffer twice as bad as I did for almost 3 decades to get to where I am today...and chances are you aren't as slow as I have been.

 

Just remember its a question that has a solution and as long as you don't give up trying to solve it, you'll get definately get there.

 

PS: make temporary friends - life's about the moments you live, and even someone you may only know as a good friend for a short time is still going to improve your future life and theirs. And who knows - maybe you'll make some friends for life as a completely unexpected bonus.

[bascule]

It's the only life you've got. Make the most of it.

 

Step one to not being a loser is to stop acting like a loser. Stop sitting around at home writing crappy web browsers and get out. Find something to do. If you suck at everything, find something you can do passively that you enjoy. Go to a show. Network with people with similar interests who are passively doing the same thing as you. That's how you make friends, without having to do a goddamn thing except dragging your ass somewhere other than around your house/dorm room/whatever.

 

You're in college and you can't make friends? A dorm is a ready-made social network. Aren't you surrounded by people with similar interests? All of my friendships I have now can be vicariously traced to connections I made with people in the dorms, since the whole experience plopped me in a new city where I didn't really know anyone except the skant few I still maintained contact with from my hometown.

 

Your workplace is a great place to network too. Where do you work anyway, and why can't you make friends there?

 

If nothing else, try taking up a job in a call center. This will teach you how to talk and converse with people, since judging by your moping you clearly suck at that. And furthermore, it's a great place to network with people your own age.

 

Don't try to start your own business if you don't know what you're doing. I tried. I failed. I work for a startup now (which I own a part of) and now understand the full implecations of starting your own business. They're vast, and unless you're a pathologically self-organizing and self-motivating person (which you're clearly not) you're going to fail at self-employment. Furthermore, you're not going to be able to network in a work environment if you try to be self-employed.

 

So there you go, some "orange band" advice

[Severian]

I'm just not sure what to do with my life anymore. It feels so empty and pointless now...

It sounds like you are lonely and lacking community. No matter what advice people give you on a forum like this, we can never give you that sense of belonging that being part of a vibrant living community can give you.

 

Personally I get that community through my church. I attend a very liberal, community orientated chuch. Although we obviously do things like Christian worship, we also have endless barbeques, picnics, trips to the pub, etc. Tomorrow, we will all be going down to the local park that has a river running through it to help clear out all the shopping trolleys and beer cans, and try and restore the area to the community. Next week we will be organising a free jazz evening for the local area (and no we do not insist that everyone is a Christian and we do not even ask people what they believe). We are very much a group of friends who think that the community we surround ourselves with is very important to our spititual health.

 

I would seriously recommend that you look for a similar church where you are. They will not force you to believe or do anything you don't want to do - they will make you welcome and invite you into their community. Why not give it a try?

[Royston]

Herme3, my only advice is that don't judge the future on your present situation, you have no idea how life can change, so try not to dwell on that fact. Also success is really subjective, don't get too hung up that your past mini enterprises have failed...I've had plenty of times where I thought, hmm this could be it, and it amounted to nothing. The trick is, to not think that's how it's always going to be, there's no force dishing out bad luck to certain individuals.

 

It's really a matter of perspective, I don't have much more in the way of money, than I did 5 years ago, (in fact less because I'm paying for a degree) I've been single for a while, but I couldn't be happier...I feel I'm succesfull because I've got a positive outlook. Even if after 4 years of working hard to get a degree, and I still end up with a lame job...I couldn't care less.

 

We all have low points, I beat myself up over my shortcomings sometimes, but it certainly doesn't last...and hopefully the way you feel won't last either.

[woelen]

As I remember from posts a few months ago, you came from/attended a church in your home-town? Then try and follow Severians advice, that is a really good place to get in contact with people, and no one will force you precisely to believe what they believe.

I also am in a similar boat like Severian, and we do all kinds of nice things as well, such as going out in the city with small groups of people, going to a restaurant, or just visit each other at home, discussing things and doing games (I most like the board games like Risk and so on ).

 

Besides that, I want to add, if you are going to college, aren't there any student's clubs? At the place where I studied, there were student clubs of all kinds of people. General clubs, just for being together, clubs, specialized in doing games with each other, all kinds of religious clubs (name it and it was there). You do not have to achieve all kinds of things in those clubs, they differ from sports clubs. Being there is what they want, being together with other people. Many people come from a remote town and hardly know anyone, so these clubs are very good meeting places.

In my time, these clubs also did lots of fun things together and during those years I met a lot of people and many became friends. And yes, also many of those friends, I do not have contact with them anymore, but a few friends remained, even some, who live 2500 km from us and we meet almost every year. Do not fear to loose contacts over time. You can't keep up with all of them, life will learn you anyway, especially if you all move away, finding jobs all over the country. Enjoy the contacts you create now, and the really good ones remain.

 

Finally, I want to tell you that every person is here on earth with a purpose. You also have a purpose, please don't forget that. You should know better .

[GutZ]

I am pretty much the same, but I enjoy it alot. I found myself being gloom alot of the time, well for most of my life, and it does suck. There is a certain standard or way of life that seems to be protrayed as the only way to live. I found myself trying to set up a life that I thought I should have. Friends are nice, but you don't need them to be a person. Failure is a cyclic evil bastard when you put too much importance on success. You'll never really know success if you can't let go of failure.

 

There are tons of things I set up for myself that I might not reach. I wish I could be as half as smart as many people here, the way they talk about physic, biology, chemistry always reminded me of how much I failed at learning theses subjects. That's them though, and I still have my whole life to learn.

 

My suggestion, take a weekend to yourself sometime and think about it, You want a better life so set your life to go that direct. First start by being postitive, happy, relaxed. Then start seeing what you need, and what is realistic, things won't happen right away. When you start the next week don't set any goals, just do what you need to do, but don't focus at all on failure and success, friends or no friends, all that stuff, keep postitive.

 

It's pretty amazing what happens when you keep postitive, the problem is staying postitive (took me a long time to figure it out), for me it was setting my life up so that I could be happy, and weed out all the things that kept me in the cycle of depression, and anxiety and all that jazz.

 

There is nothing you have to do or be in this universe, but while your here you might as well make the best of it, there are people that have a hard time in life because they don't exactly fit into society like others, or try too much to be like others, and focus too much on others.

 

You will do it, I have faith in you!

[herme3]

I was feeling really depressed when I made my last post, but I'm feeling much better today. What happened was I thought I was purchasing 3 domains that had recently expired. One of them had been appraised at $10,000 and the others were almost just as valuable. I actually paid for the domains, and thought I had them, but it turns out someone else had already bought them earlier. The domain registrar must have been having technical problems, and their system thought the domains were still available when I paid to register them.

 

Anyway, I have 3 domain credits on my account now, so I didn't lose my money. Still, I'm disappointed because I didn't get those domains worth thousands of dollars...

 

Don't be disappointed by a business failure when you're not even out of college. At this stage in life, you don't have much practical experience, knowledge, and credentials (not to insult you, btw). Wait for your graduation and start looking for an opportunity that would suit you, and you would enjoy doing. It doesn't matter if it's your own business or someone else's, as long as you're happy where you work.

 

Thanks Cap'n. I guess I shouldn't worry so much about starting my business or career until after college. I should probably wait until I gain more knowledge about running a business, then I will have a better chance at being successful.

 

Try Mutual Funds and remember its all about long term investment.

 

I've tried getting into some different investment programs, but they all ended up being scams and stealing my money. I think it might be a good idea to invest in web site domains. I'll buy some domains when they expire, and then sell them at online auctions. At least I won't have to worry about some company stealing my money.

 

The only thing I have giving my life meaning right now is my job. No girlfriend and pretty much no friends.

 

Wow. It sounds like our lives are very similar.

 

You're in college and you can't make friends? A dorm is a ready-made social network. Aren't you surrounded by people with similar interests?

 

I don't live in a dorm because I live close to the college. I just go to my classes, and then I go home or to work.

 

Your workplace is a great place to network too. Where do you work anyway, and why can't you make friends there?

 

I've been working in a small room with old and broken computers everywhere. My job is to repair the computers and get them ready for other employees. I really enjoy my job, and I have a lot of fun fixing computers. However, I can't really make friends there like I did in high school. I work in the room by myself, so I don't usually have conversations with other employees. Also, even though the employees who work with the company are very friendly, nobody is anywhere close to my age.

 

I would seriously recommend that you look for a similar church where you are. They will not force you to believe or do anything you don't want to do - they will make you welcome and invite you into their community. Why not give it a try?

 

I actually attend a small community church with my family. However, we only meet on Sundays, and my family isolates me from everyone else. Now, I don't mean that my family is purposely trying to isolate me. In fact, they keep telling me that I should make more friends. However, it's difficult to meet anyone when I'm only sitting with relatives, and then leave the same time they do. It is definitely not like high school, when I had the chance to go sit with other students and talk with them about similar interests.

[Bettina]

.....However, it's difficult to meet anyone when I'm only sitting with relatives, and then leave the same time they do. It is definitely not like high school, when I had the chance to go sit with other students and talk with them about similar interests.

 

Herme3.

 

I have more good friends than I can count. We go shopping, see movies, or just hang at the mall together meeting up with yet more friends. Even with that, its still a daily struggle for me to be happy so I know how you feel. I have my personal cross but you sound like you don't like yourself... and unless that changes all the friends you can get aren't going to help.

 

I'm the last one to give you advice on being happy but you gotta like yourself first. You don't have to look important, be important, or even overly smart, but being neatly groomed, confident and courteous is a big plus in my book. Get those parts in order first then find a male buddy and go out to where the girls are. They will find you and no swearing when talking to them either.

 

Remember this always..... There are girls out there, at home, thinking just like you do. All you have to do is find them.

 

Bettina

 

Edit... I do a lot of church work and thats a good place to start too. Grab the flyer at the church and look at where you can help out.

[DaveC426913]

I've tried to start several online companies throughout my entire life, but all of them failed.

Oh how I envy you your courage. I have always been to afraid to try.

 

 

Tell me, what do you enjoy doing? I mean what do you do when you're not getting paid for it? What makes you passionate?