dont read on if you dont want to hear a pointless rant

[Rhino]

gf drunken

 

i just walked two and a half miles and i have a bunch of alcohol in me, which are the two best stress relievers i have available

 

According to your profile you are only 19 years of age, and located in the USA. So by law you are an underage drinker. I'm going to have to guess your "gf" isn't of age to consume alcohol yet either. So you're either a liar (if your profile is false), or a self confessed delinquent who has a flagrant disregard for law.

 

You are simply too young to be in a serious relationship and that's without throwing alchohol into the mix of this. When you state alcohol is one of your choice ways of dealing with difficult situations. It shows how immature you really are. It's nice to play grown-up with a "gf", and do grown-up things like drink. I seriously hope none of you are driving either.

 

People in this forum want to tell you if she stays with you should to tell her she shouldn't have alcohol anymore. You shouldn't either. Not until you are old enough.

 

Unless you are both willing to stop drinking this relationship doesn't stand a chance. Also if you try to forbid her from doing anything, or you put any kind of conditions on you staying with her she will resent you, and your relationship will fail.

 

Her actions already clearly indicate the relationship is over or well on it's way to being over. At the very least she doesn't respect you or take you seriously. Why would you want to be with someone who feels that way about you?

 

People who really love each other and really want to be together don't let themselves get into situations where cheating is likely. Alcohol is just an enabler.

[ParanoiA]

it kinda cracks me up actually. everyones decided to jump in and tell me what they would do with the relationship (and feel free... its an open forum). but if youve been here you probably realize im not looking for you to tell me what to do. your advice is based on your experiences, my choice is going to be based on mine.

 

the only reason this thread is here is because i needed to unload. if theres one thing i know its that bottling stuff up is bad.

 

i certainly dont mind the advice, but its not going to be anywhere close to the deciding factor.

 

Nicely put.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

Okay, I've pruned the thread some more.

[ecoli]

you didn't split it? I thought we had a good discussion going

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

Heh... I can move it back into the public view.

 

http://www.scienceforums.net/showthread.php?t=23061

[ParanoiA]

Okay, I've pruned the thread some more.

 

Just as well...I don't think anybody got my joke anyway...

[mike90]

Well Cal I sympathize with your situation. It's your life and your right that only you will be able to figure out what the best choice is, but I will share with you what happened to me and what I did about it. My ex "cheated" on me online with some guy she met on the net.

 

Eventually I played Columbo and figured out what she did.

There was a big tearful fight and I told her it was over. And she cried and begged and pleaded and threatened suicide and pulled out every trick in the book and of course promised never to do it again. And i took her back ultimately, as i still loved her.

 

Months went by and she moved out of our apartment and back with her parents to help them with money. This was really the final nail in the coffin. Eventually she got really chummy with someone at work, and when we see eachother Im constantly hearing about this person.

 

This should have set off a red flag and it did, but one of the biggest problems in our relationship was that she never had her own friends to hang out with, and was mega-possesive of me. I had urged her to try to make friends at her new job, so i thought ok well I cant get on her case acting jealous now that she went and did it.

 

Well and of course i should have trusted my instincts, as one day she shows up at my door after not talking to me for a week ( strange for her) to let me know shes leaving me for this person at work. Lil over a year later and I've finally managed to cut the last tie with her tonight, as she finally returned the last possesion of mine she was holding on to about a half hour ago.The computer i bought for her shortly before we broke up, and im relatively sure she was already cheating on me when i bought it for her, but what can you do?

 

Don't know if this is your first girlfriend. My ex was mine. and i think thats making it a lot harder to get over it all.

As you yourself said theres not much a total stranger can say to help at a time like this.

 

But for what it's worth I wish you the best of luck getting through this.

[Dak]

According to your profile you are only 19 years of age, and located in the USA. So by law you are an underage drinker. I'm going to have to guess your "gf" isn't of age to consume alcohol yet either. So you're either a liar (if your profile is false), or a self confessed delinquent who has a flagrant disregard for law.

 

You are simply too young to be in a serious relationship and that's without throwing alchohol into the mix of this. When you state alcohol is one of your choice ways of dealing with difficult situations. It shows how immature you really are. It's nice to play grown-up with a "gf", and do grown-up things like drink. I seriously hope none of you are driving either.

 

now that's odd.

 

your taking the law as gospel (he's too young to drink by law, ergo he's too young to drink) and critisising him for disreguarding it, whereupon you proceed to ignore the law and replace it with your own oppinions on what should/shouldn't be done at his age (he's old enough to have a sexual relationship and get married, but sod it, he's still too young for a serious relationship). peculiar indeed.

 

which is it? should he adheer to the law, or should the law be disreguarded and replaced with ones own desisions? you seem to be giving conflicting advice.

[GutZ]

it kinda cracks me up actually. everyones decided to jump in and tell me what they would do with the relationship (and feel free... its an open forum). but if youve been here you probably realize im not looking for you to tell me what to do. your advice is based on your experiences, my choice is going to be based on mine.

 

the only reason this thread is here is because i needed to unload. if theres one thing i know its that bottling stuff up is bad.

 

i certainly dont mind the advice, but its not going to be anywhere close to the deciding factor.

 

Obiviously, thats why it's called advice, you can use it or not...

[ParanoiA]

now that's odd.

 

your taking the law as gospel (he's too young to drink by law, ergo he's too young to drink) and critisising him for disreguarding it, whereupon you proceed to ignore the law and replace it with your own oppinions on what should/shouldn't be done at his age (he's old enough to have a sexual relationship and get married, but sod it, he's still too young for a serious relationship). peculiar indeed.

 

which is it? should he adheer to the law, or should the law be disreguarded and replaced with ones own desisions? you seem to be giving conflicting advice.

 

Well, I think he's pointing out the disregard for law to establish immaturity. Then using the established "immaturity" to explain the failure in the rest of their decisions.

 

The government isn't a legitimator. Laws don't dictate what is right or wrong in the world. You can be 30 years old and still be too immature to drink responsibly.

[ParanoiA]

Well Cal I sympathize with your situation. It's your life and your right that only you will be able to figure out what the best choice is, but I will share with you what happened to me and what I did about it. My ex "cheated" on me online with some guy she met on the net.

 

Eventually I played Columbo and figured out what she did.

There was a big tearful fight and I told her it was over. And she cried and begged and pleaded and threatened suicide and pulled out every trick in the book and of course promised never to do it again. And i took her back ultimately, as i still loved her.

 

Months went by and she moved out of our apartment and back with her parents to help them with money. This was really the final nail in the coffin. Eventually she got really chummy with someone at work, and when we see eachother Im constantly hearing about this person.

 

This should have set off a red flag and it did, but one of the biggest problems in our relationship was that she never had her own friends to hang out with, and was mega-possesive of me. I had urged her to try to make friends at her new job, so i thought ok well I cant get on her case acting jealous now that she went and did it.

 

Well and of course i should have trusted my instincts, as one day she shows up at my door after not talking to me for a week ( strange for her) to let me know shes leaving me for this person at work. Lil over a year later and I've finally managed to cut the last tie with her tonight, as she finally returned the last possesion of mine she was holding on to about a half hour ago.The computer i bought for her shortly before we broke up, and im relatively sure she was already cheating on me when i bought it for her, but what can you do?

 

Don't know if this is your first girlfriend. My ex was mine. and i think thats making it a lot harder to get over it all.

As you yourself said theres not much a total stranger can say to help at a time like this.

 

But for what it's worth I wish you the best of luck getting through this.

 

 

Damn, that really sucks. Talk about mixed signals. Begging you to stay and forgive, the possessiveness - then turn right around and shop for another man.

 

I guess this is what bothers me about youthful relationships. Most young women, particularly hotties, tend to continue shopping regardless of a monogamous relationship or not. I guess that's natural. Trying to score the best mate. But it's offensive.

[mike90]

Im not trying to be critical of women here, so i hope I don't offend any. But in most of the relationships that I have seen my friends and people I knew casually have they were also eventually cheated on by various girlfriends. And just about every female friend I've ever had either were promiscuous or told me about cheating on their boyfriends.

 

 

I just feel like in my age range all most really care about is sex, male or female. Makes it hard to be optimistic about finding a girl a little deeper that you could have an actual relationship with.

[mr d]

Hello

 

I think it's simple, you should invite your girlfriend and this other woman who was involved out for drinks to talk over the situation.

Lots of drinks, make a night of it. Things may look different and be much more crowded in the morning.

 

Your young and still looking for a Miss Right, as you age you'll find this changes to Miss Well She's About The Best I'll Find. So maybe she's got a gimpy leg, and her left eye does not look at the same spot as her right. But what the heck, you ain't that great a catch yourself if you think about it. This person will be your wife if they're thinking the same about you.

 

Mr D

[Dak]

^^^ are you retarded?

 

'hey my gf just hurt me by cheating on me. i think i'll nob her, even tho i'm not currently happy with her. and the person who helped her cheat on me, even tho i probably dont like her. that'll be fun. as opposed to painful.'

 

Well, I think he's pointing out the disregard for law to establish immaturity. Then using the established "immaturity" to explain the failure in the rest of their decisions.

 

The government isn't a legitimator. Laws don't dictate what is right or wrong in the world. You can be 30 years old and still be too immature to drink responsibly.

 

or 19 and mature enough to drink; surely your second point rebukes your first?

 

if laws do not dictate what is right and what is wrong, then surely he can be 19 and mature enough to drink, so ignoring the law is ok and not neccesarily immature?

[ParanoiA]

Im not trying to be critical of women here, so i hope I don't offend any. But in most of the relationships that I have seen my friends and people I knew casually have they were also eventually cheated on by various girlfriends. And just about every female friend I've ever had either were promiscuous or told me about cheating on their boyfriends.

 

 

I just feel like in my age range all most really care about is sex, male or female. Makes it hard to be optimistic about finding a girl a little deeper that you could have an actual relationship with.

 

At your age range, what else should really matter? Just have sex, learn about yourself, learn how to have sex unselfishly, discover and liberate. You have the rest of your life to get deeper and have an actual relationship. Women and men both need to experience a few things before making verbal contracts of monogamy.

 

That's why all this cheating goes on at such a young age. You're in conflict with young hormonal impulses when you try to play grown up to early.

 

Just my opinion of course...

[ParanoiA]

or 19 and mature enough to drink; surely your second point rebukes your first?

 

if laws do not dictate what is right and what is wrong, then surely he can be 19 and mature enough to drink, so ignoring the law is ok and not neccesarily immature?

 

Careful. Yes he can be 19 years old and be mature enough to drink, but if the law says "no" then disregarding that law would be immature.

 

I didn't say I agree with the law. I said disregard for the law is immature. Actually I didn't say it, Rhino did. I'm just his lawyer...

 

 

are you retarded?

 

'hey my gf just hurt me by cheating on me. i think i'll nob her' date=' even tho i'm not currently happy with her. and the person who helped her cheat on me, even tho i probably dont like her. that'll be fun. as opposed to painful.'[/quote']

 

Is this directed at me? Or mr d?

[Dak]

Is this directed at me? Or mr d?

 

sorry, should have made it clearer (i edited some '^^^'s in)

 

it was aimed at the empathically-crippled mr d

 

Careful. Yes he can be 19 years old and be mature enough to drink, but if the law says "no" then disregarding that law would be immature.

 

I didn't say I agree with the law. I said disregard for the law is immature. Actually I didn't say it, Rhino did. I'm just his lawyer...

 

hmm... i guess i'd disagree that disreguard for the law is immature, or even neccesarily bad; but, that's a subject that could drag this thread OT, methinks.

[mr d]

Hello

 

Oh... do you need some empathy.

 

Well poor, poor Dak...There, there now.

 

Let me get my violin out.

 

Feeling better?

 

True it is sad you experienced this, but your 19 years old and guess what things like this will happen to you. Now if you told me you were 34 and had a pair of kids, I'd have more sympathy for your situation. More for children's sake than your own.

 

A 19 year old being with a young teenage girl, who goes out on her own without you, gets drunk, and has sex with other people. What did you expect would happen?

 

I fully agree things like this do hurt, but your an adult now and not a teenage drama queen. In time this will pass, quite like a kidney stone and all the pleasure that intells. And how you handle this will begin to shape what type of man you will be in the future. You must make a decision on what to do, than do it and except the consequences.

 

Your life is just beginning, and if this is the worse that happens to you, you are far luckier than most.

 

Mr D

[Dak]

just because... umm... i'm... 19, doesn't make it any less harsh -- if anything, it's more harsh 'cos 19 year olds are less used to this -- and comments like 'awww, your upset. go have sex with her' are a bit tactless.

 

ooh look, a knife, lets twist it!

[Aardvark]

You are simply too young to be in a serious relationship

 

He's old enough to get married and have children.

 

When you state alcohol is one of your choice ways of dealing with difficult situations. It shows how immature you really are.

 

Finding your girlfriend cheating on you is an approriate occasion to drink. Infact, it's a normal adult response. Nothing immature there.

 

It's nice to play grown-up with a "gf", and do grown-up things like drink. I seriously hope none of you are driving either.

 

He said he was walking, and i doubt she was doing much driving:rolleyes:

 

People in this forum want to tell you if she stays with you should to tell her she shouldn't have alcohol anymore. You shouldn't either. Not until you are old enough.

 

He's 19. That makes him a biologically mature adult. It also means he's old enough to get married, have children, get a job, join the army and go to war. Yet you have a problem with him drinking:confused: You have very weird priorities.

 

Unless you are both willing to stop drinking this relationship doesn't stand a chance.

 

On what basis do you make that comment? How can you possibly infer that the problems they've been having are caused by alcohol? Remember, in vino veritas.

 

People who really love each other and really want to be together don't let themselves get into situations where cheating is likely.

 

Nonsense.

 

People who love each other get into all sorts of situations where cheating is possible. they still go to parties and clubs and the stationary cupboard. It's just that in those situations they choose not to cheat.

 

 

It seems like you are the one who is immature and has very odd twisted concepts of behaviour, not Callipygous.

 

Or perhaps you're just a troll who thinks it's funny to mock someone at such a difficult time?

 

Not pleasant, not intelligent.

[Bettina]

Callipygous:

 

My advice (other than that I`ve already dispensed) is to read all, say little...

 

Advice that I follow to the letter now.

 

Bee

[Callipygous]

Careful. Yes he can be 19 years old and be mature enough to drink, but if the law says "no" then disregarding that law would be immature.

 

i also ride my bike without a helmet sometimes, and jaywalk.

 

ive never driven drunk. ive never cheated on anyone, or really made any other truely bad decision while intoxicated. my mother said "no sex, no drugs, no alcohol. until your 18 and no longer my liability" and i did exactly that, and still havent touched the drugs.

 

over all i consider myself a pretty responsible guy, and if enjoying some alcohol while im too young (yet old enough to die for my country, strangely enough) makes me immature in your mind then i dont really care what you think about it or anything else.

 

 

and thanks to aardvark for that last post. i really didnt want to have to go through each one of those.

[Rhino]

On what basis do you make that comment? How can you possibly infer that the problems they've been having are caused by alcohol? Remember, in vino veritas.

 

I can say what I said because in his first post alcohol was sited as a contributing factor.

 

He's 19. That makes him a biologically mature adult. It also means he's old enough to get married, have children, get a job, join the army and go to war. Yet you have a problem with him drinking You have very weird priorities.

 

Biologically mature, and intellectually mature are two very different things. I didn't know I'd have to spell that one out for you.

 

I do have a problem with him drinking. It's against the law. I didn't make the law, but I have to live by it, and for some stupid reason I expect mature people to obey the law. If that makes me uncool so be it. I do not condone the consumption of alcohol by people who are under the legal drinking age.

 

 

Finding your girlfriend cheating on you is an approriate occasion to drink. Infact, it's a normal adult response. Nothing immature there.

 

So by your statement you think he's mature by reaching for a bottle to ease his pain, and you think it's fine for minors to drink alcohol if they are cheated on. Does that mean you would openly contribute to the delinquency of a minor (which is also a crime) to help them be more mature and grown up?

[ParanoiA]

Advice that I follow to the letter now.

 

Bee

 

Why? I liked your posts. Then they suddenly went away...

[ParanoiA]

He's old enough to get married and have children.

 

Legally sure. It's legal to do all kinds of stupid things. And at 19, he's too young to be in a serious relationship. Uncle Sammy might not think so, but I do.

 

Finding your girlfriend cheating on you is an approriate occasion to drink. Infact, it's a normal adult response. Nothing immature there.

 

I doubt the battered and murdered ex-girlfriends of drunken psychos would agree with that. It's more appropriate to be reflective and relaxed...can you guess what would be better?

 

He's 19. That makes him a biologically mature adult. It also means he's old enough to get married, have children, get a job, join the army and go to war. Yet you have a problem with him drinking You have very weird priorities.

 

Once again looking to uncle sammy to be the great legitimator. The government is the last place I'm looking for direction on when it's a good time to get married, have children, and die for one's country - or anything for that matter. We live under laws, but that doesn't mean they're moral or just laws - most definitely not sensible laws.

 

On what basis do you make that comment? How can you possibly infer that the problems they've been having are caused by alcohol? Remember, in vino veritas.

 

I'm going to assume you scanned a little too quickly and missed that chunk of information in the OP.

 

It seems like you are the one who is immature and has very odd twisted concepts of behaviour, not Callipygous.

 

I don't see anything odd or twisted about basing callipygous's immaturity on his lack of respect for law, lack of experience with alcohol and the resultant girlfriend alcohol debacle afterwhich he goes for more ---> alcohol...and a jog. Would almost seem obvious actually.