The Good Advice Thread.

[Sisyphus]

Talk to crazy people - you might learn something. Or, you might get stabbed with a syringe. Either way, it builds character.

[Sequence]

Ok, since this has gone a bit more toward jokes and personal experiances, I have some more. Some of these happened to me, some to my friends.

 

When your chemistry teacher tells you to put on goggles, PUT THEM ON!

 

Don't chug a bottle of bubble mix on a dare.

 

DO NOT put a whole sachet of popping candy in your mouth and then drink really fizzy soda afterwards. It sure is funny.....but your stomach will never forgive you for it

 

If you wake up at three a.m. sit down to pee. It may make you feel like less of a man but your floor won't smell like piss for a month.

 

Don't let 12 year olds get near energy drinks.

 

Don't throw frozen crabcakes straight onto the boiling vegtable oil. ( just trust me on that)

 

Do not play with microwaves.

 

Those liquid ice things? NEVER, under ANY circumstances, squeeze one to use in place of eyedrops. It burns like holy hell....

 

Don't cut jalapenos or any kind of hot peper and then pick your nose.

 

Don't fall asleep with one of those icebreaker mints in your mouth, also, don't eat a container of them at once.

 

Don't eat a banana then chug a 7up.

 

Do not sit down without making sure there is toilet paper.

 

I suggest that you refrain from giving the finger to anyone that looks surprised when you come out of an R rated movie (If you're underage). That person may well be the usher's girlfriend.

This got one of my friends banned from a theater.

 

Never get food from a refridgerator while naked. Things get caught in the doors that should never get caught.

[aamera]

Always accept yourself

[Phi for All]

School yourself to focus on positive results. Don't think about the bills you have to pay, think about how to make more money. Don't total up all the people who pissed you off today, remember the ones who made you laugh or did you a favor.

 

Google Fundamental Attribution Error and work to minimize it's affect on the way you deal with people. Cut 'em some slack, Jack!

 

 

 

 

I think of this from Steve Martin when I hear the word "advice":

I'll never forget what my grandfather told me. He said, "Always...." No, wait, it was, "Never...." No, he said, "Always carry a litter bag in your car. It doesn't take up much room and when it gets full you can just toss it out the window."

[ParanoiA]

maybe it`s just ME but I could have sworn this thread was about GOOD advice?

 

the use of Ilegal drugs is NOT in ANY WAY Condoned or Advocated on SFN!

 

But it's still good advice. And it is condoned and advocated by ParanoiA to use illegal drugs that are safer than legal ones that kill you...

[aj47]

I think it should just be simplified to 'Don't do Drugs or Alcohol in excess, you'll end up dancing like an idiot and regretting it in the morning.'

[insane_alien]

I think it should just be simplified to 'Don't do Drugs or Alcohol in excess, you'll end up dancing like an idiot and regretting it in the morning.'

 

i regret NOTHING!

[ecoli]

Only two peices of advice are necesary for survival:

 

1) Never get involved in a land war in Asia

 

and

 

2) Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

[Sequence]

Excellent movie, very good sword fight

[Kerri]

don't put boiled eggs in the microwave. (how the hell was i suppose to know it was going to explode?)

[Gilded]

[fanboy]

DON'T PANIC

and always know where your towel is.

[/fanboy]

[thedarkshade]

You can always fell asleep in a physics class and take superposition as an excuse!

[insane_alien]

sugar, booze, caffeine and hammers, they do not mix.

[Firefly]

Never fall in love with a sociopath.

 

It just never works out.

[Pre4edgc]

If you ever hear hooves, don't yell zebra.

(If you have a problem with something, don't think of something exotic or beyond comprehension. It's probably much simpler.)

[NeonBlack]

This is more like the weird advice thread.

 

I don't think anyone has mentioned the essential:

Don't cook bacon while not wearing pants.

Don't spit into the wind.

 

And as for Sequence's advice about the refrigerator, I guess the same applies to cleaning the house. A couple of years ago, I read that a surprising number of men are hospitalized for things getting stuck in the vacuum cleaner hose. Nearly all of them claimed that they had been cleaning the house nude.

 

Riiight...

[K-Kool]

This is more like the weird advice thread.

 

I don't think anyone has mentioned the essential:

Don't cook bacon while not wearing pants.

Don't spit into the wind.

 

And as for Sequence's advice about the refrigerator, I guess the same applies to cleaning the house. A couple of years ago, I read that a surprising number of men are hospitalized for things getting stuck in the vacuum cleaner hose. Nearly all of them claimed that they had been cleaning the house nude.

 

Riiight...

 

If women don't ask questions about vacuum related accidents with men we will look the other way when it comes to the "stuck" frozen hot dogs.

[antimatter]

Don't reach down into the sewer when a clown offers you balloons

[Rune175]

Thanks alot Antimatter for mentioning the clown, I was just on my way to sleep.. gave me nightmares when I was a kid.

 

Don't you want a balloon?

[antimatter]

haha

One of my favorite books ever.

 

I don't like balloons...I don't trust the way they move...

[NeonBlack]

Frozen hot dogs? I've never heard of that before.

Can't they just pour some warm water on it? Or is it not quite the same as getting your tongue stuck to a popsickle?

[Daecon]

For Transformers: Never play leapfrog with Unicron.

[falcon9393]

find out who your real friends are fast

 

Dont go into abondonded haunted houses Bad stuff always happens

 

Better to ask forgiveness than permisson

 

-thats all i can think of for now

[Rune175]

Bbb..bbb...bbbb.... BILLYBOY!!

[antimatter]

hehe

classic.