I feel its necessary before marriage. If i found out my s/o washed her socks in the sink with urine, thats something i need to know before we wed

I lived with my wife for 18 months before we got married, we`ve just celebrated our 8`th wedding anniversary Oct 31`st

My own belief is that marriage is simply a state/church sanction on something that should already exist (a sound relationship). If it does exist, then marriage won't matter. If it doesn't, then marriage won't matter.

 

I have nothing at all against marriage. Equally, I have nothing at all against cohabitation. The relationship is the important factor, not the license.

marriage is just cohabitation with a bit of paper. not much of a difference when you look at the basics of it.

Marriage can bring a hell of a lot more pain than pleasure if it goes wrong. In my opinion, one needs to be really careful when taking such a step. If in doubt, don't. What's there to lose if you wait? Very little to nothing. What's there to lose if you do and bork it? Quite a lot.

 

I'm not saying not to do it, raise kids as 2 friends or somesuch. I'm saying it's hard to be TOO careful. People rarely change for the better, especially when you add habit, boredom, monotony, problems, or, (not to be mean) worse.

 

I find it a really bad move to marry a person when you don't know how they will react to low funds, disease, etc. All relationships work like a charm when there are good conditions, plenty of food, a nice place to stay and everything is going great. Should something happen and you suddenly do something bad at work and you get fired and owe a lot of money, the last thing you want is to lose everything you have left: support, your only other income and the kids.

 

Sorry to be the voice of mistrust, but every time I hear the long known line "lost my job, house got sold, my wife left me" the thing that comes to mind is not "you poor thing" it's "boy did you marry the wrong person".

 

Maybe it's just me. Please disagree