Pointless rant on the Pussification of the American Male

[ParanoiA]

Do not read this rant if you are the least bit easily offended…

 

I don’t know why, but apparently election day is my day to rant about the pussification of the American male. They almost made me late for work, so I’ve spent most of the morning already cursing at them.

 

The last few decades of liberalism and feminism and way overrated sanctity of human life have contributed to the pussification of the men in this country. Now, they’re in slacks and dress shirts with a funny feminine aroma permeating their proximity. Call it cologne, and suddenly it’s ok to smell like roses and fruitcake and still think of yourself as a man.

 

They’re driving 10 mph under the speed limit while glued to their cell phone, discussing their feelings and sensitivities with their wife no doubt, while braking every chance he gets to avoid getting within 100 feet of anyone else on the freaking road. That’s not defensive driving, that’s scared shitless driving. Why even leave the house?

 

They’re in my office, rubbing lotion on their hands – this time roses and coconut – with effeminate delicate voices that are overly sensitive to everyone’s feelings on the whole goddamn earth – advanced political correction.

 

They make me sick. Quit wearing fruity odors your wife buys you. Get rid of the pansy outfit and put on a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt. Act like a man for crying out loud. Drive over the speed limit and avoid using the pu$$y pedal at all costs – and tell your wife you’ll talk to her when you see her and hang up on her, then turn the cell phone off. Leave the lotion to women – men’s hands aren’t supposed to be smooth and pretty – women’s hands are. And screw everybody’s feelings – say what you mean and tell them to kiss your ass if they don’t like it.

 

Don’t listen to your wife or girlfriend. They are nuts. Women say they want a “nice” guy, then bring home dudes in jean jackets, a scattered set of teeth and smell like the bar they picked them up from. Why? Because he talks like a lumberjack. Because his hands are rough. Because he doesn’t whimper like a child and ask permission to touch her respecting her status as equals – he takes her and smacks her on the ass and says ‘who’s your daddy’. You can be equals again when you’re done.

 

Your wife or girlfriend will pussify you incrementally until you are the nice guy nobody wants. Then she’ll cheat on you with the guy in the above paragraph and you’ll be crying like a baby instead of kicking his ass like a man. Men are screwed up, but simple. Women are screwed up, and complicated. Therefore, they have the power to destroy the world. Men must stop this pussification before we stop drinking beer and start skipping by football games when channel surfing – the lifetime network on our favorites.

 

Vote yes on any stem cell research, especially if it includes farming and murdering microscopic humans. And word it just like that when people ask you about it. When you hear the little crybaby republicans start in about when life begins tell him yes, you are going to kill a little baby and rob its stem cells and use them to grow your penis bigger and stick it in his wife, who will most certainly appreciate it, and he’ll be paying alimony for decades – why? Because he’s been pussified and deserves to experience the business end of natural selection.

 

Ok…end rant. I think I can work now…I apologize for any offenses

[YT2095]

Whilst I agree totaly with some of what you say, Being a man doesn`t mean acting like a Grunt, it means being True to yourself! at ALL times.

 

oh yeah, and breaking the speed limit is just plain Dumb! for a number of reasons, not least of all being that you`ll get Busted for it and pay a fine!

that can Seriously dig into ones Drinking money!

[Sisyphus]

You know, it's not that I don't agree. I just cringe when I think about how some people take those sentiments to heart. Like, some think it means "real men" need to strut around like jackasses with their chests puffed out. That they have something to prove. It does not. It also does not mean you have to be hawkish in your politics. Or that you have to have to think women are inferior in order to think they are different. Those are all aspects not of a "real man" but of a "real boy." The difference is between having testosterone and controlling it and using it, and having testosterone and being weak-willed enough to let it control you.

[ParanoiA]

You know, it's not that I don't agree. I just cringe when I think about how some people take those sentiments to heart. Like, some think it means "real men" need to strut around like jackasses with their chests puffed out. That they have something to prove. It does not. It also does not mean you have to be hawkish in your politics. Or that you have to have to think women are inferior in order to think they are different. Those are all aspects not of a "real man" but of a "real boy."

 

A sense of humor is also the sign of a real man, and lack of one a real boy...

[doG]

What a waste of bandwidth...

[AzurePhoenix]

A sense of humor is also the sign of a real man, and lack of one a real boy...

Erm... sense of humor about what? You picked out a bunch of simple and often acceptable (and a few of them practical and sensisible and even commendable) characteristics about people, and then berated them jackassedly for not meeting up to your idealized standard for what you think a man should be, which as far as I can tell, is a hate-all brawling slob of a jerk (not that I like primly-trimmed and nice, I certainly don't). You didn't put them down wittily, you very simply blatantly insulted them outright. That's not being funny or clever (clever being the keystone of good humor), that's simply obnoxious.

 

The whole thing just reeks with the bitter tang of someone who either can't find himself a decent man, or who just recognized that he himself is the personification of pussification and is in one of those republicanesque states of violent denial. I'm putting my money on the first.

[ParanoiA]

Whilst I agree totaly with some of what you say, Being a man doesn`t mean acting like a Grunt, it means being True to yourself! at ALL times.

 

oh yeah, and breaking the speed limit is just plain Dumb! for a number of reasons, not least of all being that you`ll get Busted for it and pay a fine!

that can Seriously dig into ones Drinking money!

 

This is not an after school special. Being a man is not being true to yourself at all times. Being a consistent decent human being is being true to yourself at all times. A woman isn't a man because she was true to herself at all times.

 

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Getting all flowery and poetic and transposing meanings of words and phrases that only women should tie together.

 

Now part 2 - that's a good bit of correction there. Drinking money cannot be jeopardized by speeding fines. I'll have to adjust my behavior now.

[ParanoiA]

Erm... sense of humor about what? You picked out a bunch of simple and often acceptable (and a few of them practical and sensisible and even commendable) characteristics about people, and then berated them jackassedly for not meeting up to your idealized standard for what you think a man should be, which as far as I can tell, is a hate-all brawling slob of a jerk (not that I like primly-trimmed and nice, I certainly don't). That's not being funny or humorous or clever (clever being the keystone of good humor), that's simply obnoxious.

 

The whole thing just reeks with the bitter tang of someone who either can't find himself a decent man, or who just recognized that he himself is the personification of pussification and is in one of those republicanesque states of violent denial. I'm putting my money on the first.

 

 

It's pretty easy to tell I was letting off steam. I tried to throw in some humorous detail, but I should have realized people who take themselves and life too seriously would get offended.

 

Next time take the first sentence to heart instead of reading anyway and proving me right with obnoxious feminine garbage...

[YT2095]

you`re a bit Retarded really, aren`t you

[ParanoiA]

you`re a bit Retarded really, aren`t you

 

Is that the best logical argument you can put together? And you're inquiring if I'm retarded?

[AzurePhoenix]

Is that the best logical argument you can put together? And you're inquiring if I'm retarded?

I'm sorry, now you care about logic? Consistent much?

[ParanoiA]

I'm sorry, now you care about logic? Consistent much?

 

Azure, get over yourself. I've read so many of your lobsided feminist leaning liberal lecturing mini-rants all over this damn forum and I accept you for who you are and didn't berate you for it. There's a time to be PC and diplomatic and there's a time to vent. Learn the difference and practice a little tolerance - it's good for your character.

[Phi for All]

The last few decades of liberalism and feminism and way overrated sanctity of human life have contributed to the pussification of the men in this country.

So true! Trying to relate to women and figure out how to get along better has been the worst thing for real men.

 

The solution of course is to just do the things that make you feel like a real man and screw the consequences. If you loudly tell the wife / gf to shut up and turn off your cell phone a number of very real-man-positive things happen. She'll stop buying you cologne and expensive clothes and you can go back to jeans and a T-shirt. You'll start smelling like a real man again soon because she won't wash them for you and you could care less.

 

It's going to piss you off when she locks you out of the house but this is actually a good thing. Being pissed off is the perfect excuse for jumping in the car and speeding and since you'll be sleeping with the dog outside your skin will be rough and manly in no time. Soon you'll probably plow into the back end of one of the cars you've been tailgaiting and then you'll be waited on hand and foot by cute nurses who'll give you sponge baths (err, skip the sponge, have 'em use steel wool and cold saltwater) and help you finally justify all that money you spent on insurance. Your wife / gf will be so jealous!

 

When you eventually recover and have signed the divorce papers, you'll be just the type of guy all women want most. Jobless and hobbling in crusty jeans and T-shirt, scarred rough hands reaching out demanding some quick lovin' before the playoff game. What woman could resist that?

 

Another perk? Most of the shelters serve chili every other night! Chili!

 

I hope you guys are clear now on what you have to do. Why don't you give her a call right now and tell her how you *feel*?

[YT2095]

Is that the best logical argument you can put together? And you're inquiring if I'm retarded?

 

case in point: did that read as anything like a Logical arg to you?

you may as well have said it doesn`t look like a good recipe for chicken noodle soup!

 

ergo... I need add nothing more or justify my more than accurate Observation posed as a rhetorical question.

 

I rest my case on that issue

[ParanoiA]

So true! Trying to relate to women and figure out how to get along better has been the worst thing for real men.

 

The solution of course is to just do the things that make you feel like a real man and screw the consequences. If you loudly tell the wife / gf to shut up and turn off your cell phone a number of very real-man-positive things happen. She'll stop buying you cologne and expensive clothes and you can go back to jeans and a T-shirt. You'll start smelling like a real man again soon because she won't wash them for you and you could care less.

 

It's going to piss you off when she locks you out of the house but this is actually a good thing. Being pissed off is the perfect excuse for jumping in the car and speeding and since you'll be sleeping with the dog outside your skin will be rough and manly in no time. Soon you'll probably plow into the back end of one of the cars you've been tailgaiting and then you'll be waited on hand and foot by cute nurses who'll give you sponge baths (err, skip the sponge, have 'em use steel wool and cold saltwater) and help you finally justify all that money you spent on insurance. Your wife / gf will be so jealous!

 

When you eventually recover and have signed the divorce papers, you'll be just the type of guy all women want most. Jobless and hobbling in crusty jeans and T-shirt, scarred rough hands reaching out demanding some quick lovin' before the playoff game. What woman could resist that?

 

Another perk? Most of the shelters serve chili every other night! Chili!

 

I hope you guys are clear now on what you have to do. Why don't you give her a call right now and tell her how you *feel*?

 

So, let me get this straight...telling your wife you'll talk to her when you see her and hanging up on her will get you all of this??? Oh yes, you've definitely been pussified.

 

I guess it would be better to keep talking to her, endlessly, on the cell phone while driving down the highway at 65 miles per hour. Because we all know that driving a weapon that kills more people than guns and most diseases is a great time to be distracted running your mouth on the phone.

 

So, when they peel you off the concrete and try to make your corpse more presentable - at least you won't have alimony or divorce court to worry about huh?

 

Oh, and your hands will be nice and fruity and soft - very little will rub off on the steering wheel you were frantically trying to get a grip on your last few seconds of life...

 

What a man...

[AzurePhoenix]

Azure, get over yourself. I've read so many of your lobsided feminist leaning liberal lecturing mini-rants all over this damn forum and I accept you for who you are and didn't berate you for it. There's a time to be PC and diplomatic and there's a time to vent.

I was initially basically responding to your hostile and pointless attack on Sisy, not to your original post, and I couldn't care less aobut whatever random delusions you might harbor within the rant as logn as you had kept them there. But Sisy responded to your public post in a public forum, ratioally and calmly, and he didn't attack you or put you down or any such thing, and you put him down for it, over nothing. THAT is what I was responding to.

 

As for rants... I believe that most of that which I rant about (and I do certainly rant) usually boil down to killing off huge portions of humanity, then denying alot of the basic "human rights" of the survivors. I wasn't aware that misanthropy and eugenics was a feminist issue.

 

Learn the difference and practice a little tolerance - it's good for your character.

Oi. So you flip-flop from being anti-republican to being anti-liberal then you accuse those who are arguing your extremely intolerant jerkwad post by accusing them of being intolerant, and not only the target of your page-long rant but all women as well. Yes, I apologise that I was so intolerant of your nazi-esque intolerance. Whatever was I thinking?

[Phi for All]

So, let me get this straight...telling your wife you'll talk to her when you see her and hanging up on her will get you all of this??? Oh yes, you've definitely been pussified.

 

I guess it would be better to keep talking to her, endlessly, on the cell phone while driving down the highway at 65 miles per hour. Because we all know that driving a weapon that kills more people than guns and most diseases is a great time to be distracted running your mouth on the phone.

 

So, when they peel you off the concrete and try to make your corpse more presentable - at least you won't have alimony or divorce court to worry about huh?

 

Oh, and your hands will be nice and fruity and soft - very little will rub off on the steering wheel you were frantically trying to get a grip on your last few seconds of life...

 

What a man...

A sense of humor is also the sign of a real man, and lack of one a real boy...

Boy....

[AzurePhoenix]

Because we all know that driving a weapon that kills more people than guns and most diseases is a great time to be distracted running your mouth on the phone.

And now you're concerned about the safety and welfare of others? Talk about being a p-ussy. And, READ THE JOKERY YOU MORON

[ParanoiA]

Well, not that I blame you, but you assumed I was attacking Sisyphus rather than augment his post.

 

He mentioned:

 

I just cringe when I think about how some people take those sentiments to heart.

 

It was those "some people" that I was referring to about having a sense of humor. Some people will take those sentiments to heart, and those people have no sense of humor. That was my point. Sisyphus is a well rounded logical person that I have a lot of respect for, and he can take care of himself, believe me.

 

I have also enjoyed your misanthropic posts even though I despise misanthropism. If I took your posts too seriously, I too would see no humor in them and berate you for lack of imagination and close minded bigotry. But since that would be too obvious, I give you more credit than that. Perhaps that was misallocated.

 

I don't live my life by that rant, and I'm actually surprised that after all of the posts I've made in this forum, that anyone would judge me so callously as you have on one venting post.

 

But I'm not sorry. I'm going to cook up another one. And I hope it pisses you off twice as much as this one.

[GutZ]

Ha George Carlin!

[ParanoiA]

Oi. So you flip-flop from being anti-republican to being anti-liberal then you accuse those who are arguing your extremely intolerant jerkwad post by accusing them of being intolerant, and not only the target of your page-long rant but all women as well. Yes, I apologise that I was so intolerant of your nazi-esque intolerance. Whatever was I thinking?

 

This is proof that she has no idea, despite telling her three different times now, that my post was a vent.

 

When people get frustrated in doing what they believe is the right thing, then they vent. Venting is rarely logical. Kind of like when women get pissed and have to vent about "MEN!!!". They go on and on about how horrible we are and then two weeks later they have another man.

 

Venting is good for you. It lets your impulses out in a non-violent way and hopefully will allow some chuckles for you and anyone listening to your vent. Then you can regain composure, and continue in your struggle to do what's right and fair with those in your life.

 

Not real complicated....

[ParanoiA]

Ha George Carlin!

 

Finally...I was beginning to think they thought I made it up...

[AzurePhoenix]

This is proof that she has no idea, despite telling her three different times now, that my post was a vent.

Ah, see, I've never been a venter. I know few as well. There are a few in my family who vent constantly, but they're all the intolerant bigoted bipolar psychotics that would be best removed from society. As I've always seen it, venting is the tantrum of a hot-tempered, emotionally driven fool. A cold and calculating fury is so much nicer.

[blike]

Ah, see, I've never been a venter. I know few as well. There are a few in my family who vent constantly, but they're all the intolerant biggoted bipolar psychotics that would be best removed from society. Venting is the tantrum of a hot-tempered, emotionally driven and foolish. A cold and calculating fury is so much nicer.

I'm glad you were able to vent.

[ParanoiA]

Ah, see, I've never been a venter. I know few as well. There are a few in my family who vent constantly, but they're all the intolerant bigoted bipolar psychotics that would be best removed from society. As I've always seen it, venting is the tantrum of a hot-tempered, emotionally driven fool. A cold and calculating fury is so much nicer.

 

Sounds more psychotic and in desparate need of theraputic attention..I'll stick with a Carlin influenced temper tantrum and ditch the mellodrama of fury and calculation...besides it leads to taking life too seriously which is a foolishly driven emotion