Pointless rant on the Pussification of the American Male

[ParanoiA]

I'm certainly not "feminine" by any stretch of the imagination, but ParanoiA, it sounds like you're frustrated because your ideas about social norms are obsolete.

 

Too bad for you. Society evolves and you're angry because it's leaving you behind.

 

Poor bascule...he repeatedly makes gloriously foolish comments and doesn't realize how ridiculous he looks. All because he doesn't read. Is that another social norm gone awry? Is reading overrated now?

 

You know' date=' with all these high and mighty ideal about 'Real Men' and 'what women really want', I just have to ask: So, ParanoiA, when was the last time you got laid?

 

As a side note, since when did living up to a stereotype make someone a man? Back in the old days, you had to *do* something to be a man, like go kill a sabre-tooth tiger. Now you can just buy shit and act a certain way. I wonder how many of these 'Real Men' have ever even had their lives in danger?

 

To me, it all reeks of trying too hard.[/quote']

 

The last time I got laid was the night before last when I rubbed lotion on my wife's beautiful legs and gently, but firmly ascerted myself, like a man - rather than club her on the head and hump her unconciously like normal.

 

After that we, as obvious equals, talked about how we're going to deal with taking my oldest son to school, when both of us have to be at work in the morning - as opposed to smacking her for talking back to me and ordering her to do her womanly duty and take the boy to school, like normal.

 

Then I went downstairs to start a load of laundry so I would have clean clothes the next day - as opposed to beating her down for not having my laundry done, pressed, folded and put away by the time I got home from work, like normal.

 

Then I did a load of dishes, putting the clean ones away of course and adding a new load of dirty ones, while I waited for the washer to go off - as opposed to beating her down for not being in the kitchen and for not having it clean and organized for my viewing pleasure...like normal.

 

That's about as close to danger as I've been here lately, other than the neighbor's pit bull that has warned me in his own way that he will eat my crotch the first chance he gets.

 

Any other questions or stupid backward ass assumptions?

[GutZ]

I think some people are taking this thread too seriously. Watch some George Carlin and Bill Hicks, you'll get the idea.

[timo]

Poor bascule...he repeatedly makes gloriously foolish comments and doesn't realize how ridiculous he looks. All because he doesn't read. Is that another social norm gone awry? Is reading overrated now?

Reading is out. Gone the way of mutual respect.

[hotcommodity]

The other day at Costco there was no one bagging and I had to wrestle over six pounds of chicken breasts into the sack by myself. Wrestling breasts in the sack is about as manly as it gets.

 

5/5

 

I believe ParanoiA left out the new trend these days known as shaving the bits. Guys don't even have hairy legs anymore. I can just picture them sitting in the tub, lathering up, and taking a gillette to their business. Now that's feminine.

[ParanoiA]

I think some people are taking this thread too seriously. Watch some George Carlin and Bill Hicks, you'll get the idea.

 

That is exactly the tone I have pictured in my head too. I'm not Carlin or Hicks, those guys are geniuses, but that was the intended direction of that post.

 

I thought it was obvious...

[ParanoiA]

5/5

 

I believe ParanoiA left out the new trend these days known as shaving the bits. Guys don't even have hairy legs anymore. I can just picture them sitting in the tub, lathering up, and taking a gillette to their business. Now that's feminine.

 

Uh oh...how about shaving just the jewels?

[Phi for All]

I think some people are taking this thread too seriously. Watch some George Carlin and Bill Hicks, you'll get the idea.

Oh, I had the idea from the beginning. I've been a Carlin fan since he was winning Grammy's for his LPs. I tried to play along a bit in post #13 but all I got was defensiveness. Pretty much set the tone.

 

Defensiveness isn't funny. Insults can be funny if they're done artfully with no malice. Add the malice and it's just crybaby wussies trying to do a man's job.

 

I'd write more but the walnut shell I cracked with my bicep nicked an artery and I'm out of duct tape. Gonna have to hike 10 miles to the Home Depot (no way am I going to bleed all over my monster truck). I just love the startled looks on the HD employee's faces when they ask if I need help and I clothesline 'em. Help?! In a hardware store?!?! Think I'll bring my own hammer today....

[ParanoiA]

Oh, I had the idea from the beginning. I've been a Carlin fan since he was winning Grammy's for his LPs. I tried to play along a bit in post #13 but all I got was defensiveness. Pretty much set the tone.

 

Ok, so that's my fault and I apologize, but it wasn't exactly obvious. After all of the grief in the posts preceding that post, and the tone mixed with a direct consequence of the context of my post, I couldn't help but see it as anything other than a smart ass rebuttal rather than a continuation in the spirit of it.

 

Anyway, I need to finish beating this nail in with my penis. Real men don't need hammers.

[YT2095]

Ok, so that's my fault and I apologize

 

you WHAT!

 

you Pu$$y whipped little Wuss! you`re gunna take that from a bloke that sits down to take a slash!

 

I`m just glad that whatever it is that`s infected you lot, hasn`t reached the UK!

here... the Men are Men, and the women are gratefull!

[GutZ]

OOoOoo, I bet this ends with some tape measures.

[ParanoiA]

OOoOoo, I bet this ends with some tape measures.

 

 

Oh, he doesn't want to go there...believe me. I'm hung like a 2nd grader...

[Phi for All]

I`m just glad that whatever it is that`s infected you lot, hasn`t reached the UK!

here... the Men are Men, and the women are gratefull!

They're grateful you're the one pulling strands of that bee-yoo-tiful long girly hair out of the sink before you do the dishes, mate! In the US we're Iron men, not ironing men and especially not curling iron men. Do you use ribbons or clips on that do?

OOoOoo, I bet this ends with some tape measures.

Well, I HATE to brag, but.....................................

[YT2095]

YT2095 gets the scanning electron microscope and callibrates to Angstom units, C`mere Phi, lets measure it for you

 

as for hair in the sink LOL, that`s based upon the assumption I wash my hair (or even in a sink), in actual fact I goto the car wash and wind the window down! saves on the beer money, non of this shampoo lark and smelly stuff!

as for tying it back, I use welding rods (when I`m out of Crowbars) but they tend to break quite easily.

 

next Girly question...

[padren]

I do think some men tend to play to what they think women want, which IMO doesn't work out any better than when women go against their own sense of self to try and be what they think men want which, while often sexalicious, tends not to engender any more respect than women have for girly men.

 

There is a fine line between self motivated self improvement and reactive "is this what you want" pandering, and pandering is always undesirable regardless of the gender.

Even if it is somewhat in line with what the other party is looking for, if it is a purely reactive tact to please someone it offers nothing. If it is true to the person's nature then they are creatively that way and add to the other person's life instead of just reacting everytime they let a "want" slip out.

 

Then when it comes to the genuine "girl man" its worth while to note its a bad idea to mistake kindess for weakness. Play keep-away with a guy's hand cream 'round these parts and you're liable to get a real shiner.

 

As for speeding, I never go more than 110 in a 65...at least at night. (Mapquest says 8hrs 40 minutes huh? Try 6 1/2)

[Phi for All]

YT2095 gets the scanning electron microscope and callibrates to Angstom units, C`mere Phi, lets measure it for you

Ahh, I knew you'd make the offer but no bloke has ever seen mine before. Even in the locker room when they might catch a glimpse no one but me and The Mighty will fit.

I goto the car wash and wind the window down! saves on the beer money, non of this shampoo lark and smelly stuff!

You have to pay for beer?!? In the US, a real man just glares at the bartender and gets whatever he wants for nothing! I got so good at it everyone in the whole bar gave over their drinks! My liver got so big I had to cut it out with a pair of tin snips! Ate it raw and stuck a sponge in there to sop up the piss from all the beer!

[Callipygous]

I goto the car wash and wind the window down! saves on the beer money, non of this shampoo lark and smelly stuff!

 

you pay someone to wash your car? your not nearly dedicated enough to your beer.

[padren]

You have to pay for beer?!? In the US, a real man just glares at the bartender and gets whatever he wants for nothing! I got so good at it everyone in the whole bar gave over their drinks! My liver got so big I had to cut it out with a pair of tin snips! Ate it raw and stuck a sponge in there to sop up the piss from all the beer!

 

If the tender is giving you free drinks, try going to a bar with a name that does not contain a sly euphemism for male anatomy.

REAL men always buy their own drinks, with money from real work that makes our hands cracked and rough and would cause us to complain about our bad backs (if we were inclined to complain of course).

[bascule]

Poor bascule...he repeatedly makes gloriously foolish comments and doesn't realize how ridiculous he looks. (Insults continue...)

 

Yes, I certainly must look foolish arguing points compared to your "I don't have a point to argue, so I'll just construct a post full of insults" approach to argumentation.

[Hades]

this is the best rant ever! the pussification of men has enveloped many (fags) guys. it aint cool to dance.

[Phi for All]

this is the best rant ever! the pussification of men has enveloped many (fags) guys. it aint cool to dance.

Bad dancer, huh? I can relate.

[john5746]

This is important. We need to get back to real men as President. Reagan chopped wood, Clinton and Kennedy... used their wood!

 

Bush goes to sleep before 10, doesn't drink and he looked like he was going to cry during that speech about working together. This is why he is anxious to use the military - to compensate.

[ecoli]

Bush goes to sleep before 10, doesn't drink and he looked like he was going to cry during that speech about working together. This is why he is anxious to use the military - to compensate.

 

I'm assuming he doesn't drink because, after his DUI he decided no longer to drink alcohol. Which is probably a smart move on his part, for both his personal health and political career.

[ParanoiA]

This is important. We need to get back to real men as President. Reagan chopped wood, Clinton and Kennedy... used their wood!

 

Bush goes to sleep before 10, doesn't drink and he looked like he was going to cry during that speech about working together. This is why he is anxious to use the military - to compensate.

 

Hey I'm all for that. I think Hillary is more manly than George, so maybe she'll work out as president after all. And you notice daddy Bush managed to chuck the "wimp" reputation after using the military, so there might be something to that.

[Ndi]

There are many things I want to rant about this rant but I'll just tackle one for now: Driving like a man.

 

When I finally got my driving license I was as happy as can be. Relatively fast car, some improvements, including but not limited to wider wheels, widened car, stiffened suspensions, better brakes. Not some kid's toy but rather an improvement in handling and safety as well as raw power. Hurray for me.

 

I was pretty upset that my beautiful vehicle had to obey the silly 50 kph town limit. Darn it, I could brake twice as fast as the next family car, handling was a dream. I kept pushing it.

 

One day, as I was passing a (green) light, some guy ran me over from the right side. My car, 4.5 meters by 2 meters and well over a tonne was thrown over 90 degrees and a few meters, along with metal twisting and jumping through the cabin. I was lucky, car was well built, safety belt was on and responded well. I was able to get out of the car in one piece. I walked over the other car, which was in much worse shape, checking to see if I could help.

 

In the other car I found a young(er) couple, he was driving for well under a year and didn't own a car. It was his boss' car, he borrowed it and was driving his girlfriend around to show her how real men drive.

 

I have no idea which shock was greater, playing ragdoll inside the car and finally realizing that at the forces involved in that impact things such as bone strength are irrelevant or the fact that I was about 10 cm away from a rather unpleasant and possible fatal accident because some (excuse me) idiot felt such rules as speed limit did not apply to him.

 

So the final question remains: He wrecked 2 cars, one beyond repair (his was scrapped), endangered his own life, his girl's life, my life, his job (should he survive) and countless others that he oh-so-luckily missed while skidding over the sidewalk for approx 30 meters. How manly is that? What price can you set over these losses?

 

You might say this was an accident and thus not relevant. To you I say: What chance (percentage) do you give yourself of never being involved in an accident if you speed your whole life? Right. Sooner or later you'll screw up. And when you do, you'd better not be doing 100.

[Phi for All]

Sooner or later you'll screw up. And when you do, you'd better not be doing 100.

Sorry you had to learn the hard way, but at least you didn't learn the hardest way.

 

[wimp] Constantly driving around like your on a race track when there's other not-so-skilled drivers around is like carrying a loaded gun in your hand with the safety off, waiving it at the crowd and claiming you know what you're doing. [/wimp ]