Strength to Benefit the World

[zilchonymous]

Greetings!

 

 

 

Posting here because for most of You it should be easier to understand, already having realized the futility of self-pride and indignation, than it is to openly express. The post being relatively anonymous, Please take it as self-praise less likely! Regardless of perceived plausibility, one can respond assuming a statement to be true.

 

 

Recently stumbled on this Wikipedia page( additional characteristics more important ) and realized that, like most of You here, I've always had similar characteristics.

 

Instead of receiving adequate attention, I was

• beaten and reviled daily at school for ~7 years because of not being physically aggressive myself
  
• constantly disparaged by my father
  
• taken advantage of in kindergarten, whilst forgiving everything

leading to

• obsessive compulsive disorder
  
• deep depressiveness
  
• tiredness regardless of any rest

with each intensifying the others.

 

Around 2 years before college-age, I discovered the possibility to attend university lectures( it's nice to ask the professor for permission and they're glad if someone is actually interested ). In the audience I'd feel a mixture of bliss, yearning and sadness knowing how much has been lost. Haven't been there much though as travelling the distance is straining, having reached home the capacity gathered has vanished. Could have been there often had I known earlier.

To facilitate serving the world, wanted to at least publish my first scientific paper before the age of 18. Having it thought out for over a year but being hindered from writing efficiently, I'm turning 18 soon.

Trying to affirm myself when judging objectively, . ...But often doubt.

 

More information at

http://www.thescienceforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=40966#40966

 

 

Doctors and medications don't seem to change much. The only thing that really has helped is if I've had a chance( many ( especially maths- ) teachers I've encountered aren't interested in their subject, merely working ) to discuss deeper with a teacher or teach them something when required for the former. ...would feel energized and able to work for several hours.

 

Thus, what could help regaining proper strength is if the missing was provided posteriorly in some form.

...such as adequate schooling consisting of creative, deep and broad discussions with mentors without limits on complexity. No repetitive exercises are needed to master a concept. Nothing has to be written or reviewed – all is remembered. No need to bother instructors with routinely taught things oneself may read or invent. Can do all day long, no fatigue from thinking. Am interested in everything that admits creative thought, having learned most on my own. Been concentrating more on programming, mathematics, physics, philosophy...

For mentors, it would be personally interesting and mean no unnecessary chores( mechanical checking , grading , lesson preparation , keeping discipline ). Can help with their own theories and lessons to free up time.

Doesn't have to be official. Receiving certifications isn't foremost for it is not material benefits that are sought. I do realize my age, however the goal is to be able to benefit the world as much as possible rather than being recognized as a child prodigy.

 

What can be done?

 

 

Never disclosed this, it being complex to seek aid concerning moral dilemmas and the chance of being misunderstood.

I apologize for not writing as well as possible, English is not my first language. Feel free to point out ways the text could be improved. ...Always glad to learn.

Fun and comments referring to thinking too much of oneself can be made but one doesn't have to truly mean such, can remove the post if you so request. Won't wish the vile to anyone.

 

 

 

Wish everyone the best there could ever be!

 

zilchonymous

[ecoli]

you should definately try and find a professor to research under. Some of them will take on high school students, especially if you are smart as you claim. Try a public research university. Where do you live?

[zilchonymous]

you should definately try and find a professor to research under.

Sounds nice.

 

Where do you live?

In Estonia.

[Genecks]

I'm typically biased toward most people. Yet I want you, the thread creator, to know something.

 

No one can tell you who you are. You must learn who you are. And since I don't feel like telling you who you are, I'm going to give you weblinks:

 

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_comparison_theory

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism

 

Do you want advice?

-> Keep going up the ladder.