The Dangers of Being a Housewife

[ku]

My family is very excited because my sister is getting married soon. The man she is marrying is rather high income, so she has decided to stay home and be a housewife. She told me she will cook, clean, take care of the baby, and all that. I would have thought those tasks would take out the enthusiam from anyone but apparently some (maybe most) women like being traditional.

 

The man she is marrying is rather rich, as I said, and as such he seems to have expensive tastes. He has in his driveway two Lexuses and he weaks Patek Phillipe watches. I have spoken to this man. His name is Stephen. I asked him why in the world he bought a Lexus LS when a Camry could easily get him from A to B for a fraction of the costs. I also asked him why he purchased a $30,000 prestige watch when a $20 Casio watch not only tells the time just as well but also has more features, e.g. stopwatch, countdown timer, and alarm. Stephen just laughed at me and told me he buys the Lexus because "it looks hot." The same goes for the watch. The man is obviously very much concerned about external beauty.

 

My sister is rather young and attractive. I am worried because as my sister ages, she will get less attractive. Based on his Lexus and Patek Phillipe, Stephen seems like a man who places high priority on external beauty and his wife's external beauty will diminish over time. In addition, as Stephen ages he will get richer and richer and as such more and more women will want him, many of them maybe younger and more attractive than my sister. Because of this, I fear he will dump her in the future.

 

Statistically, fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. If my sister is a housewife all her life, and if she is dumped at age 40, no firm will want to hire her because she has no experience. But if, instead of being a housewife, she focused on her education and maybe focused on her career, even if the man dumps her, she can have something to fall back on, something to help her stand on both feet in the likely event she is dumped.

 

I want to tell this to my sister but I'm afraid she might get mad at me. Is there any way I can communicate this concept to her in a tasteful and subtle way?

[Severian]

If he is as rich as you say, and yours sister gets 'dumped' at age 40, she will never have to work again in her life.

 

I have a BMW and a Longine watch - does this make me a bad person? I personally think an appreciation for beauty is a good thing. It is just that one should be able to see inner beuaty as well as outer beauty, but I see no indication in your post that he appreciates one and not the other (on the other hand, it is obvious that you do appreciate one and not the other).

 

I think you should leave well alone.

[YT2095]

yeah, don`t fret, if they split up she gets half anyway and won`t need to work

[ecoli]

I feel you're pain, but its really your sisters call. You should try talking to her to discuss the pros and cons, but if you don't want to damage your relationship with her, don't push it.

[Sisyphus]

Yeah, I should think the "something to fall back on" would be half the ex-husband's money. Think of it this way. If the love is genuine, and she means more to him than a pretty car, then your worrying is for nought. If it is not, then he'll be sorely punished by losing half his fortune, and your sister can live comfortably for the rest of her life. If she's already committed to not having a career, the fact that she's living off someone else's money shouldn't bother her. Instead of being a financial burden on someone who loves her, she'd be a financial burden on one who dumped her for a newer model. All that leaves is, of course, the inevitable pain of divorce. But that is hardly unique to the wealthy...

[ParanoiA]

Well, allow me to be the misanthropic voice of cold reality...

 

If he is as you have painted him in your post, then it's fairly obvious to me your conclusions are justified. He likes them young and hot and he will always have the means and access to young and hot for a long, long time. I don't know if he'll want to split up though. Rather he might be the type to just play around. A man can genuinely love a woman, enough to die for her, and still have the capacity and drive to conquer more young and hot on the side...

 

So, is your sister prepared to share him like that? If not, this will probably be over after a short run, usually a child or two later. The good thing going for your sister is his financial security. That will tie him up in a lengthy obligation for a nice chunk of her life.

 

If she's got no problem being number one out of a long list of sweeties, then she can count on being taken care of for life, I think.

 

Good luck. Tell her to get pregnant by him as soon as possible...

[Pangloss]

Incidentally, according to the Census Bureau's annual report (which came out this past week), divorce has dropped to a rate last seen in 1970.

[Severian]

Incidentally, according to the Census Bureau's annual report (which came out this past week), divorce has dropped to a rate last seen in 1970.

 

That is presumably because people have stopped getting married.

[ecoli]

That is presumably because people have stopped getting married.

 

either that or everybody is already divorced, so not many new people are getting divorced.

[EvoN1020v]

Also, your sister could get a lot of money from the prenup.

[JesuBungle]

Well I'm a hot 20 year old, you should hook me up with Stephen. I'm not gay but I could give it a try for $$$

 

Ok that was gross.

 

This guy kinda sounds like the bad ones you always see in the movies. Like...The Wedding Singer comes to mind. But idk, just observe how he treats her and such. He might actually not be what you think at all.

[Boopsie]

My family is very excited because my sister is getting married soon. The man she is marrying is rather high income, so she has decided to stay home and be a housewife. She told me she will cook, clean, take care of the baby, and all that. I would have thought those tasks would take out the enthusiam from anyone but apparently some (maybe most) women like being traditional.

 

Being a wife and mother is can certainly be a very satisfying career choice for a woman. Speaking as a woman with a satisfying career, the happiest time of my life was when I was able to stay home with my infant son for his first year of life. While I value my career and find it personally satisfying, the main reason I have worked outside the home has been to support my family, not for the personal satisfaction it brings. If my husband was wealthy, I would not work, though I would likely continue my education because that's something I enjoy. If this man makes your sister happy, then be happy for her being able to make that choice. It's not on option for every woman.