Should I Attack my Wife?

[YT2095]

and you don`t consider finding out someones beleifs, likes, dislikes etc... an almost prerequisite to making such a comitment?

 

hell, they even do Psyche tests on employees for some jobs!

 

I`de consider having a child with someone Far more important than any "Job", wouldn`t you?

[ydoaPs]

and you don`t consider finding out someones beleifs, likes, dislikes etc... an almost prerequisite to making such a comitment?

Does your wife's religion play a factor on whether or not you love her?

 

hell, they even do Psyche tests on employees for some jobs!

Yet they can't ask you your religion...

[YT2095]

Does your wife's religion play a factor on whether or not you love her?

 

sure it did, do you think I`de be crazy enough to marry an incompatible?

 

I really think you should address what Sev ACTUALY said, rather than what you`de like to THINK he was trying to say!

[EvoN1020v]

Seemingly ku (the OP) hasn't posted to answer any of our questions and comments.

[ydoaPs]

I really think you should address what Sev ACTUALY said, rather than what you`de like to THINK he was trying to say!

 

I did. He didn't ask if they'd discussed issues, he asked if they discussed her beliefs(in this case, her religion). I said her religion is irrelevant in raising the child.

[ParanoiA]

I did. He didn't ask if they'd discussed issues, he asked if they discussed her beliefs(in this case, her religion). I said her religion is irrelevant in raising the child.

 

But that's silly. Of course her beliefs matter and are quite relevant in raising the child.

 

I believe it is wrong to kill other people. So, I'm going to push my belief onto my kids that it is wrong to kill others. It doesn't matter if I got the belief out of the bible, public school, or dreamed about it one night. We are supposed to push our beliefs onto our children. That's our job.

[Sisyphus]

I remember reading somewhere that, statistically speaking, the two compatability factors that are most important to a successful marriage are religious beliefs and drinking habits.

[YT2095]

I did. He didn't ask if they'd discussed issues, he asked if they discussed her beliefs(in this case, her religion).

 

and "beleifs" isn`t a subset of "issues"?

along with "likes" and "dislikes" etc...

 

it certainly seems to be an "Issue" now, don`t you think?

 

I Beleive that you`re only playing the Semantics game now because your Intial arg against Sevs post is baseless! that`s MY Issue

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

My issue is that ydoaps is taking every available opportunity to attack religion.

 

Stop.

[ParanoiA]

My issue is that ydoaps is taking every available opportunity to attack religion.

 

Stop.

 

I figured that, since the argument didn't seem to be very challenging...

[ydoaPs]

But that's silly. Of course her beliefs matter and are quite relevant in raising the child.

 

I believe it is wrong to kill other people. So, I'm going to push my belief onto my kids that it is wrong to kill others. It doesn't matter if I got the belief out of the bible, public school, or dreamed about it one night. We are supposed to push our beliefs onto our children. That's our job.

 

Really? It is in my religion not to have blood transfusions. My child needs one. I don't allow it. Was that what I was supposed to do?

 

My issue is that ydoaps is taking every available opportunity to attack religion.

 

Stop.

I'm not attacking religion; I'm attacking the misuse and abuse of religion. There is quite a bit of difference.

 

and "beleifs" isn`t a subset of "issues"?

along with "likes" and "dislikes" etc...

 

it certainly seems to be an "Issue" now, don`t you think?

 

I Beleive that you`re only playing the Semantics game now because your Intial arg against Sevs post is baseless! that`s MY Issue

 

He didn't say "issues." He said "beliefs" and in this context, it means the wife's religion. You are the one who wants me to talk about what was actually said; why don't you do the same.

 

I figured that, since the argument didn't seem to be very challenging...

 

What do you mean by "challenging"?

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

Really? It is in my religion not to have blood transfusions. My child needs one. I don't allow it. Was that what I was supposed to do?

Depends on your religious and moral beliefs.

 

You're making an argument based on subjective standards. Your moral standards are not absolute, no matter how many other people agree with them.

[Hades]

ok, first, how were you able to marry off a woman so religious? (me in same position yet she hates the situation)

 

second, no, dont fight about it. youve already lost. youre the man, she has the vagina. she wins before a fight begins. they make sure of it. starts in grade school.

[Phi for All]

People always get in trouble taking the Bible literally. Especially those old Mosaic laws. I think there were over 600 of them and they all had their purpose at the time. But nowadays its hard to see a reason why people should be stoned to death for blending fabrics like linen and wool.

It was quite relevant. The point was that the wife's personal beliefs shouldn't be forced on the child.

Severian's point was that this should not have come as a shock to someone who marreid and had a child with someone. The fact that it is a religious difference rather than political or otherwise is irrelevant. If this is Ku's natural daughter by his wife then a minimum of three or four years has gone by and it seems odd that her refusal to weaqr jewelry is coming up for the first time.

If the wife doesn't want to wear jewelry because of her religious beliefs, then all the power to her. But forcing your beliefs on someone else(especially a child) is un called for.

What if your beliefs are that religion is bad, or that playing in the street is dangerous, should you not force those beliefs on your child? Children get many of their beliefs from their parents. I would be willing to bet that when you have children, you will try to force them away from any religious beliefs. How is that different?

If she has a reason, other than her religion, for not letting the child wear jewelry, then it's all fine and dandy. For instance, I could deal with "the necklace is expensive and I'm afraid that she'll lose it." However, I don't condone "MY religion doesn't permit HER to wear jewelry".

So any reason that *you* approve of is OK for *her* child?

 

The OP may be questioning this behavior from a religious perspective, but Severian's post seemed to just ask why this behavior should come as a shock to Ku. Didn't he notice that she never wears jewelry? Didn't he ever try to buy her a necklace?

[TriggerGrinn]

Only a Misinterpretation

 

Peter 3:1-4

1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

I see that there is a misinterpratation of what the bible is intending.

 

Think of it as:

God said, your beauty shall not come only from outward dressings, but it will be your spirit that gives you your beauty, with or without your outward adornment. Women keep it in mind that you are a women with, or without adornments, and that is what gives you beauty in the eye of god.

 

To consider yourself a measure of beauty by what you wear will deminish your self worth, and it is intending to mention that womens nature is the opitamy of the meaning of beauty.

 

any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives

 

That the attraction men have for a women will come from their spirit of calmness and the spirit of a soft place to fall. That in the eye(view) of god it is the spirit of the woman that creates the woman as a woman, and not just the adornment that is generally seen in the eye of man.

 

I gaurentee that if you explain this to your wife, you will get a) browny points and b) give her a sense of self understanding and relaxation.

 

God said, FEAR NOT, be never anxious! and your wife is obviously anxious all the time whether or not shes keeping her bling bling down enough to coincide with the bible.

 

The bible is intended to teach for things on the inside of us and rarely relates to the outwardness.

 

Let your wife know that it is her nature that is most beautiful and how she atires herself is only the icing on the diamond that she is inside.

[ParanoiA]

Really? It is in my religion not to have blood transfusions. My child needs one. I don't allow it. Was that what I was supposed to do?

 

Well..yeah. Beliefs are always subjective and there's no way to prove your apparent assumptions on religion are true or accurate. All we can go on is what kind of direct damage, objective damage is being done or not. In a blood transfusion refusal scenario, I'd imagine we'd get a court order or something to save the poor child's life - since there's obvious direct damage.

 

In this case about a necklace, not exactly the stuff human services gets involved in ya' know. So she cried. I'm sorry. Kids cry about all kinds of things in response to teaching them right from wrong.

 

And why do you assume your views, on allowing a child to wear jewelry as moral or ethical, on the rest of us? What if you happen to think crystal meth is perfectly acceptable and any parent who denies such is pushing their "drug-war" religious beliefs onto their children? It's none of your business how I determine my beliefs, and vice versa - only when these beliefs deny rights from others.

 

What do you mean by "challenging"?

 

I'm not challenging your intellect or anything, it just doesn't seem very honest. That's the best word I can think of at the moment. Seems like you're looking for a way to say something negative about religion. I share your distaste for such things ( I did write a song called hypochristian and it's posted on my website ). But I don't see any reason to elevate my own goofy beliefs either.

[Glider]

I wonder how Lily's doing.

[Phi for All]

I wonder how Lily's doing.

I doubt we'll ever find out. Ku likes to start threads but rarely participates in them (out of 188 posts, 93 are thread starters).

 

He's started some extremely interesting topics, don't get me wrong, but I like it when the OP participates a lot more. More substance, less speculation.

 

How about it Ku, will you answer any of the questions your thread has raised?

[Glider]

I doubt we'll ever find out. Ku likes to start threads but rarely participates in them (out of 188 posts, 93 are thread starters).

 

He's started some extremely interesting topics, don't get me wrong, but I like it when the OP participates a lot more. More substance, less speculation.

Yeah, it's preferable, otherwise the whole thread is just ripples from one stone in the pond.

 

However, my last post was just an attempt to reintroduce the core element of the issue, which seems to have been forgotten. The thread has turned into a theological/moral/ethical debate and I was just hoping that it doesn't reflect KU's reality.

[woelen]

Two different religions of woman and man?

The devil sleeps between them!

 

To my opinion the biggest mistake was made years ago, when the two were married. I've seen too much misery about this and I sometimes still see it happen.

 

You and your wife have to find a way to solve this problem. If you and your wife will not be able to solve this (futile?) issue, then what value has your marriage then anyway?

[Heretic]

I am not a Christian. I am non-religious. But my wife is a Christian. I write this thread so I can ask other Christians here for advice on a family issue.

 

My daughter Lily lately has experimented with jewellery, just a plain gold necklace. She's only a little girl so I don't think jewellery is a good idea as she might lose it. But she loves wearing it. It makes her very happy, so I let her wear it because it's only $50.

 

My wife found out that Lily was wearing jeweller and she got very angry. She told me that the bible forbids women from wearing jewellery. I said, "Prove it," and she took out the Holy Bible and pointed to Peter 3:3, which says "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes." So I had to take the necklace away from little Lily. She was really upset. It broke my heart to see my little girl so sad. My wife reminded Lily that it was her duty according to the Ten Commandments to listen to what her parents told her.

 

I have been reading the bible lately and I found something from 1 Timothy 2:11-12 that may help me: "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent." In other words, the woman should be in silence. I am the man of the house and I should therefore make the decisions, and if I decide to allow Lily to wear jewellery then I assume the bible supports that. My wife would have to agree otherwise she is going against the Word of God.

 

I continued to read the bible and read that "neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." (1 Corinthians 11:9.) In other words, God created her for me, not the other way around! Also, God created man first, not woman.

 

So I am thinking of confronting my wife with this evidence, but I am a little worried. What do you think I should do? Is this a good idea?

 

Firstly I would like to apologize for being blunt, BUT in the christian circles we have a word for people like your wife: CRAZY!

 

Most christians DO NOT take the bible as a literal text. More as a guide. It's been re-written so many times it is no longer the word of god it once was. We do still worship it as such, but only for the sake of ritual and community.

 

Using the bible to prove a point is irrational and I wouldn't suggest it.

[ku]

I felt angry with my wife but after some days the anger wore off and I don't think I want to anger her or hurt her.

 

Much of the problem has been solved now because I got a dishwasher during the post-Christmas sale. I paid 40% below retail price.

 

My wife is a Protestant Christian (as opposed to Catholics), which means that she takes the bible seriously. Protestants believe in biblical inerrency. The bible is never wrong. The Protestants have no Pope, so the bible is the source of authority.

 

Didn't you ever bother to ask your wife what she believes before getting married and having a child?

She was an atheist before she converted to Christianity. Apparently she was miserable being an atheist.

[Phi for All]

I felt angry with my wife but after some days the anger wore off and I don't think I want to anger her or hurt her.

Smart man.

Much of the problem has been solved now because I got a dishwasher during the post-Christmas sale. I paid 40% below retail price.

So... the dishwasher cleansed all your sins away? I don't get the connection to your daughter wearing jewelry.

 

My wife is a Protestant Christian (as opposed to Catholics), which means that she takes the bible seriously. Protestants believe in biblical inerrency. The bible is never wrong. The Protestants have no Pope, so the bible is the source of authority.

You might mention that, since 1978, Protestants only ascribe Biblical inerrancy to the original texts, which no longer exist. The idea that differing versions of the Bible are all inerrant is ridiculous.

She was an atheist before she converted to Christianity. Apparently she was miserable being an atheist.

Was she an atheist when you married her?

[ydoaPs]

So... the dishwasher cleansed all your sins away? I don't get the connection to your daughter wearing jewelry.

Same here.

 

You might mention that, since 1978, Protestants only ascribe Biblical inerrancy to the original texts, which no longer exist.

That isn't quite true. There are kinds of protestants that believe the King James Version is the inerrant word of God.

 

 

The idea that differing versions of the Bible are all inerrant is ridiculous.

Indeed