Bouts of apathy

[Royston]

I've had this since I can remember, and probably why I've done nothing about it i.e I'm used to it, but it's now becoming rather tiresome and sometimes embarrassing. I guess because I'm now (ancient to some, young to others) 30 and I'm getting rather irritated that I get this mood, which reminds me of an introverted teenager, completely lacking in self esteem.

I get these slumps in mood, and I can't pin point it to any activity I may have recently been doing, or any change in my circumstances e.g work becoming stressful. However, and it only lasts a couple of days at a time, and also happens without warning, but I just sink into this incredibly low state, where I feel anything I say has no worth, that I'm just a useless sack of crap, and I also take things incredibly personally, and become very defensive. I also beat myself up (not physically) if I get something wrong, or don't understand something. I'm just coming out of a recent slump, that I've been going through the last couple of days.

When I don't get these bouts, I'm almost the exact opposite. I don't seem to experience this mood swing enough to warrant treatment and certainly not medication, I just wondered if this is actually normal (whatever that is), because it's quite a clear and distinct effect, and I can't rationalize why I feel like it enough, to literally 'think myself out of it.' I can pretend in social situations that everything is fine, but this can sometimes prolong the mood.

Like I said, it is getting rather annoying, (especially when I've been labelled weird and insane in the past) so why is it so short lived, and why does it seem to occur with no warning, and no influence from any external changes?

Should I seek help, or get a diagnosis, or am I worrying about nothing ?

[Rilx]

I recommend to seek help to find what it is. There might also be a physiological reason. Anyhow if time hasn't made it better, time will probably make it worse.

[Phi for All]

Part of the frustration you're feeling could be a a lack of aim, such that when something depressing happens you temporarily have nothing to point to in the near future to alleviate your stress and find a more uplifting mood. Have you set any long-term goals to work towards?

 

If you haven't, try this. Start with thinking about where you want to be the day before you die (wait, this isn't the uplifting part). Assume that you will be absolutely fine one day and dead the next, with no lingering illnesses, happy to have lived your life. Where do you want to be, who do you want to be with, every detail you care to think of. Write all this down.

 

Now work backwards to where you will need to be 10 years from now in order to make the day before you die a reality. Again outline what you will need to achieve this.

 

Do the same thing for 3 years from now, 1 year from now, 1 month from now, 1 week from now and end with what you're going to do tomorrow to start all of this in motion. This is your Road Map to Snail's Ultimate Life.

 

Revisit this road map often to make sure you're still on target. It's OK to change a few things along the way but the farther out you change things the better your reasons must be. Everything you do will have purpose and I think you'll find these bouts of apathy will lessen with time.

 

The opposite of apathy is focus, determination and confidence in your daily choices. It's really easy to "go with the flow" and while it's important to be flexible with what Life throws at you, having goals to work towards lets you give yourself permission to have fun and work hard to attain what you want.

[Royston]

Part of the frustration you're feeling could be a a lack of aim, such that when something depressing happens you temporarily have nothing to point to in the near future to alleviate your stress and find a more uplifting mood. Have you set any long-term goals to work towards?

 

I appreciate the advice, but I have several long term goals and projects, my degree and hopefully post-grad education being one of them. What I tried to make clear is that this 'slump', just happens, I've had it for long enough to analyze what could possibly trigger it (it definitely appears random), and I've tried various techniques to 'think my way out of it', which I can do quite easily if I'm stressed at work for example.

 

Like I said, it's the opposite of how I am usually. But as it only lasts a few days. and I've had it as long as I can remember, I've never really thought about seeking advice. Considering (so far) it hasn't really hampered anything I'm trying to accomplish, I really hate the thought of wasting a GP's time with it. But, when I do get a bout of the blues, it's really not pleasant.

[Reaper]

I don't know much about mood swings, but they are symptom of several psychological disorders, such as depression.

 

However, a lot of what you are describing seems to me that you may some form of Bipolar Disorder, such as Cyclothymia. Here is a DSM criteria for it: http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/cyclothymic_disorder.htm

 

and

 

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolar.cfm

 

Seeing that I am not a qualified psychologist, you should see a real one about it.

[Blue Eve]

If you do go to a qualified psychologist, be sure that you understand the diagnosis that is given. Do your own research on the subject and if needed get a second opinion.

[Daecon]

Sounds normal to me, but then I've had the exact same thing for as long as *I* can remember, too.

 

You're not an "INTP" of the Myers-Briggs Type, are you?