Officialdom

[Fred56]

Imagine if Gandalf the Grey had stood with his staff on the bridge at Khazad Dum, and spake thus unto the Balrog:

 

"No admittance to public. I am authorised to inform you as employee of the Secret Fire and administrator of the flame of Anor, that you must return and exit via public access. No admittance! Authorised personnel only."

[Mr Skeptic]

The balrog would say, "F. U."? Or did you want a balrog to reply politely?

[insane_alien]

if that was the case Lord of the Rings would never have been as popular as it is. infact, Tolkien would probably have been hunted down and strangled with his own nostril hair.

[Pangloss]

Well the speech he did give didn't do him much good either, and he still had to go Glorfindel on him.

[Fred56]

I guess the scriptwriters gave up on the idea of translating Tolkein into a "modern idiom" (maybe P.C. looked too boring). Don't you mean he went "Glamdring" on the Balrogus maleficus?

 

PC version: (as a "termination interview", with strained, cheesy grin)

 

"We can't be moving forward on this, I'm sorry to say. Unfortunately, at the end of the day (assuming there'll be one) this dark Fire thing won't be empowering for you, flame of Udun, so it's back to the Shadow, I'm afraid. I simply can't see you going forward with us here!"

[Pangloss]

That works too but I was thinking of Glorfindel's fight with the king of the balrogs in the Silmarillion. (Glorfindel is killed, though somehow he's still around several thousand years later to face the nazgul when the fellowship shows up at Rivendell. Go figure.)

[Sisyphus]

Events probably would have unfolded exactly the same, but I'd give Gandalf major credit for staying calm (deadpan, even) under fire.