toddler stick things down her throat

[bornagainmom]

Why would a 2.5 yr old child be sticking long objects such as straws down her throat. The person describing this situation to me said she believes that there is a sexual connotation to this. She used the word "deepthroating".

 

I've seen toddlers stick something into their mouth and misjudge how far they are sticking it in and gag on the object, but I never got the impression that there was anything sexual about it.

 

The child in question is in a foster home because of parental abuse and neglect and is suffering from serious speech and developmental delays, caused no doubt, by the trauma of being removed from its parents and placed with strangers and the abuse which precipitated the removal.

 

The other thing this child does is masturbate where its diapers are changed and the foster mom thinks it is well beyond any normal level of age-appropriate sexual exploration.

 

This all seems to be pretty extreme to me, not the toddler's actions, but the descriptions of what's going on. Any thoughts on this?

bornagainmom

(bornagain because I'm raising my grandchildren:doh: )

[iNow]

Hi bornagainmom,

 

It's tough to know *exactly* what's happening based on a short post on an internet forum. All we can do is speculate based on the limited information you shared with us. So, regardless what people say below, you will likely know best what is happening and/or what needs to happen all on your own. With that said...

 

Reading your post, my initial impression is that the actions of the child are perfectly normal, in line with development of nearly all children. When you mentioned a concern over sexual connotations and whether or not the child is masturbating, I think that is an issue with the perceiver... It's an interpretation made by the person viewing the child... not anything specific about the child's behavior.

 

Children stick stuff in their mouths and touch their bodies. It's all part of their development and exploration of the environment around them. They are basically trying to learn about the universe. Everything is new to them. They are little explorers, seeking stimulation wherever it comes. The child is struggling to make sense of the world, and it's just sheer curiousity and reinforcement.

 

The sticking things in their mouth is biologically related to the inherent need for food. Babies who don't eat don't survive, so those that were more inclined to stick stuff in their mouth tended to survive more (because they were not as resistent to eating). The fact that this woman used the term "deepthroat" to describe what this baby was doing should actually concern you more about HER mental health than the baby's.

 

My suggestion, to help bridge the gap between your anxieties and your knowledge, is to look into information about the Psychosocial Stages of Development from Erikson.

 

Here's a link for summary --> http://web.cortland.edu/andersmd/ERIK/sum.HTML

 

You can also click on the stages for more information, or google them (it's usually best to stick to websites that have ".edu" in the link address).

 

 

Here's another site that covers much of these issues, but I've never used it personally, so cannot attest to it's accuracy. Either way, I hope this helps.

 

http://www.parenting.com/parenting/baby/article/0,19840,647376,00.html

 

 

Good luck.

[Norman Albers]

These are the reasons we are so careful with our young children. I have a friend who is an experienced M.D., and a three-year old child of his died in the hospital after choking on a piece of broccoli in their home.

[Norman Albers]

The most disunified thing around here is us, unless we understand the sexual beauty of growing up in this universe. We try to guide these developments in our children, lest they choke on stones.

[Mag]

as stated before, masturbation and touching at this age is normal - its all about the exploration of their bodies.

Also, the fact that she used the world "deepthroat" when discussing toddlers is... odd... I too would be concerned about her mental health as well, lol.

[CPL.Luke]

it could also e one of those look what I can do things that occur out of sheer curiosity.

[Realitycheck]

Why would a 2.5 yr old child be sticking long objects such as straws down her throat. The person describing this situation to me said she believes that there is a sexual connotation to this. She used the word "deepthroating".

 

I've seen toddlers stick something into their mouth and misjudge how far they are sticking it in and gag on the object, but I never got the impression that there was anything sexual about it.

 

The child in question is in a foster home because of parental abuse and neglect and is suffering from serious speech and developmental delays, caused no doubt, by the trauma of being removed from its parents and placed with strangers and the abuse which precipitated the removal.

 

The other thing this child does is masturbate where its diapers are changed and the foster mom thinks it is well beyond any normal level of age-appropriate sexual exploration.

 

This all seems to be pretty extreme to me, not the toddler's actions, but the descriptions of what's going on. Any thoughts on this?

bornagainmom

(bornagain because I'm raising my grandchildren:doh: )

 

I see two plausible scenarios. 1) She is copying behavior seen in her mother and is just going through the motions. To her, it wouldn't be sexual, but it would be something that her mother does and this is something that many of us in the animal kingdom do, follow a lead. 2) She is just innocently playing around, as mentioned above, but I highly doubt it.

 

I know that when I was young, gagging on something was not pleasant, so why else would a child be interested in the idea? Lastly, she was put in a foster home for a reason, more likely because of stuff like this, but who knows?

[blike]

Seek professional counseling if you're worried.

[bornagainmom]

Hi,

This is a blanket reply to those of you who replied to my post.

 

First, thanks for taking the time to reply. My thoughts on the "deepthroating" and "masturbating well beyond any normal level of age-appropriate sexual exploration" comments made by the child's caregiver:

 

The caregiver is placing WAY, WAY, too much sexual connotation on the child's actions. Babies, toddlers, children, adolescents, human beings in general, once they find "that button" keep "pushing" it for the pleasurable feelings it produces. Only adults with limited knowledge into child development place sexual connotations to these actions in infants, toddlers, even young children. It is with nurturing that children learn that "yes, that feels good, but we don't do this in public, around other people . . . there is a time and a place for everything". I think the caregiver's comments raise real concerns into her abilitiy to be a quality substitute parent. My opinion is that she needs some therapeutic intervention.

 

Second: I have been engaged in professional therapeutic counseling, (off and on but more extensively over the last three years) for at least 30 years. Why, well because I'm human and have stepped in "it" a number of times, but rather than lay the blame on (1) my parents; (2) my spouse; (3) society; (4) the lack of money in my life; (5) multiple moves as a child; (6) my religion; (7) my dog; (8) my third grade teacher; (9) the hole in the ozone; (10) the politics du jour, I have tried to learn from the experiences and move on.

 

I'm real glad I've done all the therapy and reading and other research, though, because, I don't write things said or done off like I used to. I at least recognize "red flags" for what they are . . . and the comments made by this caregiver were, in my amature estimation, big red flags.

 

Thanks for the back up.

 

Bornagainmom

 

Thanks for the links, book titles, authors, etc. I'll look into them.

[iNow]

I am glad you found some help here. Just please, take the comments in consideration of the following two points.

 

1) All we had to go on was what you shared, so our interpretation is restricted somewhat by any bias in your interpretation. We may view the actual situation completely differently if we were there viewing it first hand, but we instead had to make guesses based on what you shared.

 

2) The care givers interpretation may or may not be malicious. Her immediate analogy to sexuality may simply be a result only of her own ignorance or lack of experience. Try not to analyze her mental health on only limited information. If you do, then you are ultimately doing the same thing she is when she inteprets the childs behavior.

 

 

Anyway, hopefully you'll keep us updated. Good luck.