Bad Reason to Quit Smoking

[ParanoiA]

Ok, so my wife calls me up at lunch today to discuss the idea of getting a pet bird, a Cockatoo, in order to make her quit smoking. The idea being that since smoke is bad for birds, it gives her a goal to work toward, and it will help liberate her from boredom.

 

I think that's psychotic thinking, quite frankly. I seriously think this is setting her up for failure. I can't seem to get my head around the glaring problem here, and yet it seems obvious to me at the same time.

 

I asked her to clarify why increased life span, not stinking like smoke, smooth skin and voice, and etc was not enough - why a bird suddenly tilts the balance to a stop smoking campaign. This is the heart of my problem with this approach.

 

Using the bird to HELP with stopping smoking makes sense, but even then this goes way beyond spending a few minutes with a bird - there are 24 hours in a day. 18 of which she spends awake. I don't think she's dealing with REAL reasons she smokes and what it's REALLY going to take to quit - permanently. A bird ain't gonna' do it.

 

She's too focused on this bird, a redirection of some kind - the bird is almost a symbol of some kind. Isn't there a term for this in psychology?

[waitforufo]

I don't really think your wife wants a bird. She is addicted to nicotine. Emotionally, she doesn't want to quit. She wants you to tell her she can't have the bird so she can keep smoking. By not letting her have the bird, it will be your fault that she is smoking. I would call her bluff. Tell her you think it's a great idea, find a local pet shop and go with her to pick one out. My guess is she will change her mind before the purchase. If she does try to back out, buy one anyway. Be real positive about it. You can always sell the thing on craigslist later. You will only be out a few bucks.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

Get yourself a monkey and a small fire extinguisher. Train the monkey to use the fire extinguisher... you'll see where I'm going.

[Psycho]

Get yourself a monkey and a small fire extinguisher. Train the monkey to use the fire extinguisher... you'll see where I'm going.

 

The monkey hits her in the face with the fire extinguisher for not understanding smoking is killing her?

 

To be honest if she want to get a bird to stop smoking she clearly doesn't want to stop smoking, not to mention you can just go outside to smoke or smoke when your out. It is a ridiculous idea.

[zule]

I think that every help is welcome, and if she feels which having that bird will help her to give up smoking, it actually will help. I used to smoke three cigarette packets a day, I was smoking for seventeen years and I got to give up it.

 

Although I love very much Camilo (the parrot who is in my avatar), I have to admit that he wasn’t the main reason for me to give up smoking, but thinking about harming him with the smoke helped.

 

So, instead worrying thinking about the name that the psychology would give to your wife’s idea, why don’t you hurry to buy her the bird?

 

I don’t know if you and your wife would like to increase your family:eyebrow:, but my main reason to give up smoking was that I wanted to have a baby. Now, I only have to find a father

[ParanoiA]

Get yourself a monkey and a small fire extinguisher. Train the monkey to use the fire extinguisher... you'll see where I'm going.

 

Oh my, I'm still giggling over this. This is the best idea I've heard yet.

 

I think that every help is welcome, and if she feels which having that bird will help her to give up smoking, it actually will help. I used to smoke three cigarette packets a day, I was smoking for seventeen years and I got to give up it.

 

I'm worried that success will be anchored to the bird. Bird dies = still smoking. Bird lives, but newness wears off = start smoking again. That sort of thing.

 

So, instead worrying thinking about the name that the psychology would give to your wife’s idea, why don’t you hurry to buy her the bird?

 

One, because my post is really about the psychology of externalizing an internal issue - although I don't think I'm actually putting that right.

 

And second, well I already agreed to the idea. The bird won't cost any money, in theory anyway, since this is a fostering program. Keep in mind, I don't know much about it, just that you raise them to a point and then have to give them up, or purchase them for a discounted price.

 

I'm not about to thrash her idea and risk discouraging her. I voiced my concerns, she said she understood...and now we're getting a bird.

[DrDNA]

There's no such thing as a bad reason to stop smoking.

If the bird helps buy the bird, kill the bird with smoke, get another bird......

 

PS: There's also no such thing as a bad reason for making your wife happy:-)

 

(somebody grab my wife and show her this)

[Glider]

I tend to agree with DrDNA on this. Thinking about it, I can't really think of a bad reason to quit smoking, just another reason.

 

Maybe the existing reasons aren't enough. They generally consist of a bunch of statistics that many people can't really relate to on a personal level anyway. Perhaps she needs the extra impetus of something real and external, that she can relate to that provides a need to care and protect.

 

That would make the need to change personal and 'real' and according to the Prochaska and DiClemente Stages of Change (Transtheoretical) model of behaviour change, making it personal is the first concrete step from the Precontemplative - Contemplative stages to the Preparation - Action stages.

 

If a bird provides the extra push towards a mutually agreed and desirable objective (her quitting), then I don't think it's important that her reasons are not the same as yours.

 

Here are some links to information on the Stages of Change Model:

 

This provides some background information on the SCM.

 

This provides a breakdown of the stages and includes (in the right-hand column) some techniques that you could employ at each stage to help her navigate through them.

 

Mostly, it's about reinforcing her sense of self-efficacy. A major difference between the SCM and other models is that SCM does not view relapse as catastrophic, requiring the individual to go back to the beginning. All that does is to reinforce fellings of helplessness and failure. Rather, it views relapse as a temporary setback and, allows the person (and you) to evaluate the reasons, adjust your plans and devise alternative methods of dealing with the situation that resulted in the relapse.

 

Give it a go.

[Mr Skeptic]

Some people are far more willing to harm themselves than they are to harm another. This attitude can be seen in women who give up drinking/smoking to have a child, but also applies to animals to some extent.

[falcon9393]

wow a bird to quit smoking! never heard that one before! eh i dont think its going to work either she gets the bird and gets stressed over the mess they make (and boy are you in for it they mult and pull out feathers and that stuff gets every where) so then she starts smoking even more i have a parrot and they dont make me want to start better habbits i think you should tell your wife to join a gym replace bad habbits with good habbits or she could join a book club or sumthin but a new pet is never the answer!

 

this is for parrots

http://www.parrotparrot.com/articles/cockatiel.html

 

this is for habbits

http://www.gumauctions.com/article/151/How-to-Replace-Bad-Habits-with-Good-Ones-The-Science-of-Habit-Management/

 

enjoy ;D