Christian Men are "Easy Targets"?

[ku]

I've always wanted to get married. However, a week ago while I was in the library I overheard some women talking about marriage. One woman wanted to divorce her husband and her female friends were telling her things like, "Stay with him a little longer and wait for him to make more money before you divorce. Then you can get more out of him." I was horrified by the women talking about marriage as if it were a business or a scam. Then I heard one woman saying something that really scared me. She said, "Christian men are easy targets. Their religion forbids prenups and forces them to provide for their wives."

 

The reason why this was scary was because I am a Christian man myself who has a net worth of $1.4 million now. I am an optimist and still believe that not all woman are gold diggers but I cannot be certain that the one I fall in love with will not be. The Bible warns that the devil disguises himself. I spoke to my pastor and he told me that indeed a Christian cannot ask for a prenup and that if I get married I'd have to accept the risks.

 

What should I do? Should I give up on marriage completely?

[YT2095]

"providing for" doesn`t mean .7 million though does it?

 

also from what I hear Prenups aren`t worth the paper they`re written on most of the time, and the fact that you`r Thinking along these lines at all says to me that Marriage would be a bad idea for you anyway.

[Sayonara]

A pre-nup doesn't stop you from providing for your wife, while she is your wife.

[zule]

the fact that you`r Thinking along these lines at all says to me that Marriage would be a bad idea for you anyway.

 

I coudn't express better my own opinion

[gcol]

Four lines of defence are suggested to help you:

 

1. Be an atheist or agnostic.

 

2. Be a cynic and or realist.

 

3. Be a gay.

 

4. Be a eunuch.

 

Two are easy, one is a relatively painless matter of choice, and one is rather drastic.

 

Try for two out of four as an easy starter. Your choice.

[Ladeira]

I recommend you a song... "Girls and Boys - Good Charlotte"....

 

Well, I don't believe much in love. If it exists, I'm sure it's something that come and go very fast.

 

4. Be a eunuch.

 

Sorry, what is an eunuch?

[D H]

Unless you go to a megachurch, your pastor most likely does not have a net worth of 1.4 million. You need to take what he says with a grain of salt. Some women are gold diggers, and it will take some due diligence on your part to find one who isn't. Some things you can do:

• If you get serious with some woman but remain concerned about her sincerity, hire a PI to dig into your background a bit. With that kind of net worth I expect you run a business of some kind. Suppose you need to hire a general manager -- someone who will have access to your company's accounts. You are going to run a background check, aren't you?
   
   
  
• Check into your state's divorce laws. In many states, it is only the wealth accumulated during the course of the marriage that can be split up upon divorce. Splitting up what is accumulated during the marriage is only fair. As a Christian, you don't want to be unfair and leave your future former wife with nothing, do you? What you do want to do is protect against a split that is unfair against you. You might not need a pre-nup for this. Make a very detailed accounting of your pre-marriage net worth. Talk to a lawyer as well as your pastor.
   
   
  
• Wait until the elections this fall. We will most likely be electing a rather liberal Democrat for President, a decidedly Democratic House, and a nearly veto-proof Democratic Senate. You will lose a good chunk of your net worth when this happens. A gold digger won't be able to do nearly as much damage a year from now.

[blike]

I spoke to my pastor and he told me that indeed a Christian cannot ask for a prenup and that if I get married I'd have to accept the risks.

Why can't a Christian ask for a prenup? Did he give you any reasoning?

[Mr Skeptic]

Why can't a Christian ask for a prenup? Did he give you any reasoning?

 

Cause it shows that he is contemplating the possibility of divorce. But that is bad reasoning. Someone who is certain they won't get divorced should not care either way for a prenup, since it would have no effect.

 

---

 

Tell your pastor you need a prenup to make sure that a gold-digger doesn't marry you for your money and divorce you. After all, the woman can initiate the divorce as well. Since you can control your own actions but not someone else's, it stands to reason that a man who doesn't want to get divorced should be concerned about 1) a girl who will not marry him if he does not sign a prenup, or 2) a girl who will not marry him if she has to sign a prenup and he is rich.

 

Oh, and you should tell your pastor about that conversation you overheard. Tell him he is making Christian men easy targets for girls who will marry them for their money and divorce them.

[Gilded]

Sorry, what is an eunuch?

 

Eunuchs are males who have been castrated, meaning that they've lost their testes entirely or their testes simply don't function anymore. In medical terms, they have had their balls removed/knackers taken away/family jewels snipped off/nutsack chopped etc. One could even playfully say that the palm is there but the coconuts are gone or that they've got the meat for a sub but the olives are missing.

[Mr Skeptic]

Eunuchs are males who have been castrated, meaning that they've lost their testes entirely or their testes simply don't function anymore. In medical terms, they have had their balls removed/knackers taken away/family jewels snipped off/nutsack chopped etc. One could even playfully say that the palm is there but the coconuts are gone or that they've got the meat for a sub but the olives are missing.

 

It also means no testosterone and no sex drive and no children. Which is why it was traditional in some places to have eunuchs guard female royalty.

Edited June 23, 2008 by Mr Skeptic

[john5746]

1) ku strikes again. I doubt you are talking about yourself or anyone else for that matter.

 

2) Christians get prenups and get divorced all the time.

 

3) A preacher is probably not a good financial advisor, although they probably spend a great deal of time worrying about how to spend other people's money.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

According to Wikipedia, Catholicism has certain limits on prenups:

In practice, prenuptials may run afoul of Church law in a number of ways. For example, they cannot subject a marriage to a condition concerning the future (such as an agreement about the dividing of assets in case of divorce). The Code of Canon Law provides: "A marriage subject to a condition about the future cannot be contracted validly." (CIC 1102)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenup#Catholicism

[Mr Skeptic]

1) ku strikes again. I doubt you are talking about yourself or anyone else for that matter.

 

Gahhh! You're right. I remember now, ku was the one who started a bunch of threads on eg homosexuality and then never posted in them again. Could he be a hit-and-run troll? Or maybe he's too busy with his million dollars.

[ku]

Why can't a Christian ask for a prenup? Did he give you any reasoning?

 

See What does the Bible say about prenuptial agreements?

 

Furthermore, I don't own any business. Where does the money come from? If you are a true Christian you refrain from luxuries and extravagance since they promote sins such as vanity and pride. You then work and save up like an ant. Proverbs 6:6-11 says, "Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest... A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man."

[YT2095]

Spoof one then, google prenups, and print some out, set everything up as official looking as you can, make her sign it as if it`s a Big-Deal etc...

 

She`s convinced, and you`v broken no rules as it was all Fake

[Mr Skeptic]

See What does the Bible say about prenuptial agreements?

 

What does the Bible say about prenups? Nothing! It does say that there are acceptable reasons for divorce.

 

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." Matthew 19:8,9

 

This presents no problems for either: 1) people who do not remarry after divorce, and 2) people who divorce a cheating spouse.

[john5746]

See What does the Bible say about prenuptial agreements?

 

first line from your link is below:

 

Answer: Although prenuptial agreements are not mentioned in the Bible,

[Ladeira]

One could even playfully say that the palm is there but the coconuts are gone or that they've got the meat for a sub but the olives are missing.

 

Thank you.

It was both clarifying and funny enough to make me laugh some.

[Sisyphus]

If you see marriage as a convenient legal agreement, then there's no problem. If you see marriage in the religious sense as a sacred bond of love and trust, then sure, if you have a prenup then you're not really married.

[Cap'n Refsmmat]

What does the Bible say about prenups? Nothing! It does say that there are acceptable reasons for divorce.

 

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." Matthew 19:8,9

 

This presents no problems for either: 1) people who do not remarry after divorce, and 2) people who divorce a cheating spouse.

 

I wonder if "marital unfaithfulness" encompasses more than just cheating. The Bible requires dedication and obedience to the husband, and so on, and breaking that might be considered "unfaithfulness".

 

I don't know. I'm not a Bible scholar. Just throwing it out there.

[pantheon]

one of the needs of the modern age is that both men and women want

the good things in life money a big house better job etc etc etc .

love is one way of forming a good relationship but is it both ways if one side pulls to far generally speaking the other side pulls back , i suppose im trying to say its not a tug of war over your bank book or credit card , im sure there are so many more people wanting a good start in life by virtue of the fact if you tie the knot its not neccesarly for love nor money it has in someways has to be both. The problem that both men and women have is that people who have a lack of money tend to gravitate towards those that do , but is that gold digging ? did before you attained your new found wealth gravitate towards money yourself. love versus money come on women love shopping its an inbuilt part of the female pyschi, its natural it stimulates economys and it makes for the feel good factor . If you fear the gold diggers they become enemys its got to be balance . One piece of advice dont advertise for someone who has at least 1.4 mill . happy hunting , pantheon .

[SkepticLance]

If Ku has $1.4 million gained purely from hard work and good savings habits, then the chances are that he is an old bastard. If the old bastard is looking for a wife, the betting is that he wants a young, good looking one. Thus, a gold digger is rather probable.

 

Ku, by all means see a lawyer and get the very best prenup you can. Forget what that idiot of a pastor has to say. The Bible does not forbid prenups. It does, however, say some nasty things about stupidity!!!

[iNow]

If he's looking to avoid gold diggers, why are we all suggesting he go see a lawyer? Seems contrary to the premise of the OP, does it not?

[SkepticLance]

Well done, iNow. That is a smart comment.

Sadly, lawyers are sometimes necessary. I regard them as equivalent to firemen. We would be better off without the fire, but shit happens.

 

I feel a little sympathy for Ku. While I am far from being religious, I am also an old bastard, and I have managed to earn and save enough to make me financially well to do compared to most people. Where I differ is that I am happily married and have been for many years. However, I have to admit to wondering what I would do if she dies. Statistically, I am more likely to kark it first, but accidents do happen. If she did, I would probably look for someone. Being a typical male, I would probably prefer someone young and good looking. And that is where the gold digger thing comes in.

 

Why should a young and good looking lass go for an ugly old man like me? Only for money. And how would she behave? There is a damn good chance she would get bored with the old bastard and find a younger playmate. Hence the divorce. Ku says that a divorce for infidelity is OK. With a young wife and an older husband, it is also rather likely.