Speculations on Why People Get Bulllied in School

[jimmydasaint]

As a teacher I am somewhat puzzled by the choice of a person to become either an 'outcast' in a class or a person that becomes the target of bullies. I have tried to find something that is different about the bullied but cannot see it. For example, I taught a girl that was bullied by the rest of the class. The class would make comments about her, for example: 'she smells'. However, she was clean. The members of the class that indulged in the bullying were a cross-section from 'good' to 'naughty' students.

 

In another case, a boy was tortured daily by others in the class verbally. I could not see any difference between him and the others. It was not racist because other members of the same race were participating in the abuse.

 

A speculation could be the type of response to an insult by a pupil. If the response is not measured and extreme from a bullied child, it becomes a source of constant amusement to 'press the correct buttons'. The more extreme the reaction, the more sustained the bullying.

 

Curiously, though, the very bright are exempt from the bullying regardless of individual eccentricities because the 'lads' and 'ladettes' actually wish they were as bright and respect brains.

 

Any other speculations though on the choice of the bullied by the bully?

 

[i should mention that I am appalled by bullying and do everything I can to help the bullied]

Edited July 24, 2008 by jimmydasaint
additional statement to make

[YT2095]

 

Curiously, though, the very bright are exempt from the bullying regardless of individual eccentricities because the 'lads' and 'ladettes' actually wish they were as bright and respect brains.

 

I never found this to be the case, however I`m going back nearly 30 years here, so things may have changed somewhat.

[insane_alien]

I never found this to be the case, however I`m going back nearly 30 years here, so things may have changed somewhat.

 

I have also never found this to be the case, only 10 years ago for me.

 

I think i became a target because of my surname which was different from everybody elses and a teacher mispronounced it in a funny way an it all stemmed from that but i can't be sure as i was only about 5 when it started.

 

My own personal view on it is that it usually starts over a small thing.

[jimmydasaint]

It may be because I taught in a single sex school recently. However, I think the setting of students helps immensely. For example, the most able are given are placed in classes where they would never have contact with less intellectually able students.

[JohnB]

Perhaps one of our more psychologically gifted can give a better answer, but I wonder if you are looking at it the wrong way.

 

People indulge in group behaviour to show they are "part of the group". It may be that bullying in certain instances is started by only one person, but expanded by others because "everybody else is doing it". It demonstrates which "side" you're on. (It may also stop the initial bully from picking on them next, too.)

Curiously, though, the very bright are exempt from the bullying regardless of individual eccentricities because the 'lads' and 'ladettes' actually wish they were as bright and respect brains.

Are you sure it isn't happening outside school hours where you can't see it?

 

Personally it wasn't a problem for me at school. One person tried and I beat the living snot out of him. Bullys left me alone after that.

[Sisyphus]

I think it's true that a lot of it has to do with the response of the bullied. Generally speaking, kids just all make fun of each other all the time. It's part of socializing. If one kid doesn't react appropriately (in their eyes), they become targets for more seriously bullying. There are other reasons, of course. Some kids try to assert their status by pushing someone else down. Sometimes the ringleader has some special grudge against the victim and the others just hop on for fun. Etc.

 

As for the "smart kid" thing, I agree. Smart kids don't get chronically bullied - socially awkward ones do. (Often they go hand in hand, hence the misconception.) As a kid I was "the smart kid" and shy and physically awkward to boot. As such, lots of people "tested out" bullying on me, but nobody tried more than once, because 1)I always remained calm 2)I made it obvious I wasn't afraid of anybody, and 3)I was better at making fun of them than they were of me, and could make the jackals (I mean, other kids) laugh at them.

[Phi for All]

As a kid I was "the smart kid" and shy and physically awkward to boot. As such, lots of people "tested out" bullying on me, but nobody tried more than once, because 1)I always remained calm 2)I made it obvious I wasn't afraid of anybody, and 3)I was better at making fun of them than they were of me, and could make the jackals (I mean, other kids) laugh at them.

This is the key, imo. Bullies target the kids that give them the best response. Smart kids usually have more verbal acuity and bullies look bad when the tables are turned. It's the kids who get defensive, who are visually uncomfortable, and who respond nervously that get repeatedly bullied.

 

Most bullies are too lazy to be challenged by a moving target; they tend to aim at the ones that are easiest to hit.

[cellbioS]

The comment on the "smart kids" not being bullied, in my opinion, is wrong. I was one of the smarter kids in my classes but was bullied. For me, the reason being I was always the "new" kid in the class. Literally, for 5 school years, I was in 5 different schools. I think part of it is to re-establish the social hierarchy of the students and the reaction of the target will determine the extent and length of the bullying.

 

The reasons for bullying is actually quite complex and may include developing social interaction skills, learning how to lead or follow, developing the ability to influence, learning how to assert oneself and making a stand, etc. Bullying will probably always happen, it will just be the degree that needs to be monitored.

[CharonY]

Well there is smart and there is smart...

There are kids that are good at school but not socially savvy. Either they do not manage to get into a group, or refuse to do so and thus get easily targeted. It is often not enough to be simply intelligent, but one also has to be able to sense group dynamics and be a part of it. Which kind of of requires different kind of intelligence.

[Gilded]

What's up with the high school bullying I keep hearing about (...not to mention seeing dozens of movies about) btw? I don't think I ever saw anyone get bullied in high school and I haven't heard of high school bullying from my friends who went to other schools. Which makes sense to me as people should've matured enough by then, in my opinion. Is it an American thing?

 

I've always trying to take bullying attempts lightly, sometimes just joking about it was enough or even just telling people to quit it. Of course, that doesn't work for everyone but I've noticed stabbing people with sharp objects earns some extra respect. Then again I do have slight anger issues.

[Genecks]

Any other speculations though on the choice of the bullied by the bully?

 

The bullies tend to pick on what seems like an easy target. This could be based on looks, actions, or the fact they aren't hanging out with anyone. The bullies are like evil sociopaths that find victims and torture them for fun. Their reasons for release of anger can often be unknown, and sometimes it doesn't even have an etiology: Such people are born evil.

 

I think the majority of the factors would be that bullies have a large sense of human psychology and how to manipulate people. Either that, or they have to act like thugs and get "street cred" from their peers. It's sickening how people can support such "street cred" ideaology.

 

I once suggested that all children be taught self defense and martial arts. I supported this philosophy before some of the school shootings in America increased. If people in schools are on equal fighting ground, though, I doubt any of them will be bullied. At least, I think there would be a dramatic decrease in school fights. And if I'm wrong, at least people will have enough fair fight to kick each other's ass and feel satisfied about how much they tried. They wouldn't grow up having a large amount of misanthropy for the world. In such a technological age, the unabomber is correct about how angry, pissed off people can grow up to use technology to destroy mankind. So, an action has to be made unless more people wish to die. There needs to be an equalizer.

 

It's too radical, though. World governments would have serious problems with that. Law enforcement would have to start shooting people or disabling them with non-violent weapons instead of attempting to use physical contact. But it would work. That's the thing. It won't happen because the government is scared of allowing people to have the power. And the adults are scared of letting the children have the power. In reality, everyone is scared. With so much fear and ignorance, a person would be blind to not notice it's a recipe for pain to occur.

 

But hey, if the world wishes to be ignorant, let the humans die.

A lot of people can rationalize the world is better with intelligent, angry people killing the stupid, ignorant ones.

 

In all, I would have to say bullying comes from a desire to destroy. And that destruction is to create a better world for the bully.

Edited July 29, 2008 by Genecks

[dichotomy]

Bullies have a good sense of physics, that is, they generally pick on people lighter than they are which generally improves their probability of victory.

IMO, they generally pick on people because their Parent/primary carer, picked on them (and who knows where that cycle begins, in the trees I'm guessing?). They simply think this is what ‘real’ Men/Women should do. For e.g. they become the father figure, their victim becomes them. This can be sometimes successfully pointed out to them. Although, unfortunately it often can take a broken or bloodied nose to do so. And it obviously presents a possible retaliation danger to the inital victim (which I am yet to witness). I've seen quite a few even-ish physical match-ups where the bully intelligently leaves his victim alone afterwards. Funny about that.

 

I’ve seen confident smart kids, dumb kids, shy kids, fat, skinny, huge and even ‘cool’ for a year kids (and adults) get bullied. Bullying rears up, in a very ugly way, when the bully can easily over power his victim.

[jimmydasaint]

From what has been written, there is no easy or predictable reason. There is peer pressure, social awkwardness, mob mentality, power play amonst other sociologically complex factors. However, is bullying in school a phenomenon that is restricted for the most part to the UK and America? If so, why can other Europeans develop a cooperative attitude whilst Britain and America turn to violence? Why?