seeking direction in my life by science minded individuals

[dardar]

I am an individual with mental illness. I am diagonsed with schizophrenia. I currently live with my parents and receive SSI benefits for my disability. I've been doing ok, until today, and i have a very debilitating mental condition, and i realized that it would be wise for me to make sure that i'll always have the grace to take time out from life.

 

like i said i receive SSI, and i live with my parents. My mom forbids me to question how my life will be after my parents pass. i dont understand why she forbids me to think about the future, but my parents are old, and i feel its a valid concern to be worried, even if they don't care how i will survive.

 

My parents own the house we currently live in, and a condo. next week they will be looking to purchase another home, to help make their retirement easier. If anything were to happen to my parents, I would inherit all 3 properties. That would make me ineligible for SSI benefits completely. This is the point where people usually suggest a special needs trust. I just wanted to say, that even with a special needs trust, if i could not use a little bit of that money every month towards normal living expenses, living would be quite hard with only $620 a month, considering I'd have to pay electricity, phone, and food, and gas money to get to my doctors, and i could not expect to eat well with that amount, nor could i expect to save for car repairs, nor would i be able to save money for a computer, or even internet. i just dont see $620 as being very much money to live from completely. i currently only pay rent, and don't have to pay for food or electricity, if i did, i'm not sure that check would cut it. i'd also need things like shampoo, soap, haircuts, dishwasher stuff. all those things cost money.

 

anyway, so if something were to happen to them, i'm really not prepared to pick up the pieces and take care of myself. obviously my parents would expect that i rent out the house and condo monthly to pay for living expenses, food, and medicine, car insurance, air conditioner, etc. and i'm sure i could survive ok if i did not have extra expenses like medicine and doctor appointments, since I'd lose the medical insurance part of SSI too. I seem to require quite a bit of psychiatric meds which their out of pocket expenses would be quite high. I also have a acid reflux condition, and the meds for that are costly too. plus the doctor visits i'd have to pay for. all those things add up and would make it very hard for me to live normally.

 

anyway I find that is somewhat difficult for me to talk about, maybe because of the stigma my mom has placed on me, the "don't worry it will all work out anyway you look at it" which i dont believe is true, and i'd think that me wanting to make sure i'll be ok, is a credit that i'm a rational intelligent human being. i just feel i need a little help in figuring out if it's going to work out or not. the alternative would be being homeless, and i imagine that is much less fun. I thought i'd post here in this science forums, since i value the opinions of individuals how can apply science to their everyday lives.

 

hope this is acceptable to this forum it said we could discuss anything here.

 

thank you

[ecoli]

Personally, I think you're right in planning for the future.

 

I don't mean to scare you, but you never know when you're condition might worsen, so if you're parents aren't going to be around forever its smart to plan for this sort of thing.

 

Incidentally, I've been doing some volunteering at a psych hospital and have seen quite a few schizophrenia patients. From what I've seen, you're better off if you don't have to be stuck in a hospital. I was at a county hospital where most of the patients couldn't afford to be anywhere else. The quality of service wasn't bad, but like many government institutions, the staff is overworked and underpaid. If you ever wind up being hospitalized for long term care, you want to make sure you have the best insurance and plenty of funds.

 

I think you should trust your intuition on this one. I can't believe I'm saying this to a schizophrenia patient () but you may just have better insight into your condition than you mom on this one.

[dardar]

yes. i cannot understand why my mom would prohibit me from being concerned about my future.

 

the thing is, i'm not sure if i'll be able to survive on what they will be leaving me. and I will not have SSI since they will leave me 3 properties so doctors and medicine costs will be out of pocket. two of them i'd get rent from, one i'd live from, but they'd be paid for. i believe psychiatrists are high ticket items, and if you are familiar with the system, they often like to switch from from medication to medication, in in attempt to find the right combo. that can be very expensive out of pocket expense. i figure i might have $2000/mo a month to live from, if i'm lucky. i also have to plan for car expenses and insurance. there is no bus system where i live, can't even walk to grocery store.

 

and you were right to say i ought to be ok or rather be in a place where i can take the fact that i will not always be feeling well. i just can't help but feel i need some help in determining if i can breathe, or if the smartest thing to do were to plan for the future, like a job. i can't work, but if my survival depends on it, i see no other choice other than being homeless.

 

its awkward for me to make these posts here, i just value the opinion of people who have a high regard for science. would appreciate any feedback/help