Solitary Confinement

[big314mp]

I like the "go to the library" idea by Mr Skeptic. Perhaps a study group. With people some friends from Sunday school. Then a friend from Sunday school. Then a girl from Sunday school. etc etc.

 

I'm half joking ^^^

 

But a safe place (like a library) to hang out with a few friends is very difficult (one could argue that it is abusive) to reject.

[Taco Bell]

The closest thing to that is pushing my parent to take out they trash, checking or going in the pool, and getting the mail by myself(its all little farther then it seems because I live in a condo). Then maybe I could take further advances like taking a walk to the library or around the block. I just wish there was an easier way, a less argumentative way. The hard thing is that everyone think I love staying inside and avoiding all social contact, also my brothers which I spend allot of time near do avoid social contact and don't really care about privacy and independence. My sister went though this when I was young so I don't remember to much of the valuable information, and I wish I had.

[Mr Skeptic]

The less argumentative way would be to run away from home, and when the police find you tell them that you are afraid your parents will lock you into the house. They won't like it, but what can they do? Once you have shown that you are willing to defy them if need be to get your freedom, they will be much more receptive.

 

Have you considered talking to the pastor? Either privately or in front of the whole congregation, ask him if it is OK for your parents to keep you locked up. It seems from what you say that the church is just about the only group other than the police that you could go to if you can't do it on your own.

[big314mp]

This is absolutely ridiculous.

 

I defy ANY parent to tell their child that they cannot go to the library.

 

And for some reason, it broke my heart to use the above grammar.

 

Does your church have a youth group that you could join?

[Realitycheck]

Skeptic, honoring your parents is a really big commandment, but it sounds like a good way to make a change. Taco Bell, I would talk to your pastor and see if he can help you with this, that you don't want to be isolated for the rest of your life.

Edited October 17, 2008 by agentchange

[Taco Bell]

This is absolutely ridiculous.

It is absolutely ridiculous!

 

 

Does your church have a youth group that you could join?

Its a Catholic Church and they don't really have any of that.

 

 

Taco Bell, I would talk to your pastor and see if he can help you with this, that you don't want to be isolated for the rest of your life.

What is the pastor going go to do that I can't all ready do by myself? Edited October 17, 2008 by Taco Bell

[Realitycheck]

What is the pastor going go to do that I can't all ready do by myself?

 

You're right, you know much more about your situation than I could ever know. Besides, you're only 15, and it sounds like all of the grown-ups in your life probably want to keep you sheltered and innocent till you are 18. Don't know what to say. I wish you the best.

[Taco Bell]

Sorry,

 

Its just this dumb problem that suck so much I wish everything normal! I've been suffering so long, I can't take it any more!

[Mr Skeptic]

What is the pastor going go to do that I can't all ready do by myself?

 

They can tell your parents that they are wrong to keep you locked up. With authority that you don't have. The rest of your congregation can apply peer pressure to them, which again is something you cannot do. I don't much care for the Catholic church, but I don't think they have any cults so they should behave much like any other Catholic church. And I'm pretty sure that keeping teenagers confined is not something that the Church approves of.

 

Seriously, ask your church for help. If that would shame your parents and make them mad, it only goes to show that they already know that what they are doing is wrong. And I doubt your parents would dare to defy the church.

[big314mp]

See if you can talk to the pastor alone, also, as that can make things more painless. Talk to him in private, to see if he can offer you some advice, or if he can help you.

[Glider]

Originally Posted by glider

Other people, trustworthy and untrustworthy, will always be around. That's just life. Ultimately, it is the role of your parents to equip you live in that life, not to teach you to hide from it.

 

And there not doing that, thats a little bit of the problem(actually a pretty big part).

That was my point. It is a big problem.

 

Perhaps you could gently remind them of what it is they're supposed to be doing. Sooner or later you will have to 'leave the nest' and cope without them. That's an inevitability, but they are not preparing you for it.

 

You need to be learning independence and self-reliance, not dependence and helplessness.

[npts2020]

One thing you might ask your pastor is, how and where to go about getting a job where you live. Being able to earn enough money to support yourself is hugely important for any consideration of emancipation both legally (in most places) and practically. If you are considering something drastic like open disobedience or running away, make sure you know what the emancipation laws for your state are first, as in some states you don't even need any court involvement. Another angle you might consider, is accelerating your schooling (you did say you were home schooled?) so that you can start college early, or even take college classes before finishing your high school curicula. If I am remembering my teen-age years correctly, one of the hardest things to do is have patience. I couldn't get time to move fast enough either. Seriously though, google emancipation of minors/whatever state you live in and see for yourself if it is an option you can use (or threaten to use).

[big314mp]

You mentioned that your brother and sister live in the same sort of situation that you do, and they tolerate it.

 

Don't let that hold you back.

[qlue]

I would agree that your best option is to speak with your parish priest about your difficulties. Catholic priests are some of the most understanding people I've met and I assure you, your situation is not unique.

It's a very unhealthy situation when a teenager feels that he cannot approach his parents in something as fundamental as extended human interaction. We are social creatures and without social interaction, well let's face it, we go crazy.