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Posted
  On 12/23/2020 at 5:30 PM, Phi for All said:

A turtle gets mugged by two snails. When the cops show up, they ask him what happened, and the shaken turtle replies, "I don't know, it all happened so FAST!"

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Lets break this down because I'm not laughing, not one bit.
It is difficult to assume any velocities since we don't know in what terrain the crime took place, what were the exact items stolen from the turtle which is vital to know to calculate or even make any educated guesses as to what happened - masses of the stolen items are absolutely crucial to know (masses of the turtle and the snails are fairly known) There is one extremely disturbing piece of information which renders this joke a paradox, namely that the turtle was "shaken" when talking to the cops which implies that it is capable of movement at velocities far beyond the capabilities of any snail. I don't like the premise that the turtle was supposedly much slower which in effect enabled the snails to I need to go clean my bathroom the wife is screaming that I move my butt.

Posted
  On 12/23/2020 at 6:31 PM, MigL said:

The turtle joke is funny, Phi.

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I thought you'd appreciate the metaphor for modern conservatism. I'm certainly glad nobody accused me of posting it in the wrong joke section. 

  On 12/23/2020 at 6:42 PM, joigus said:

I'm under not obligation to be funny, may I remind you...

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Actually, in this section, the rules are quite clear. You owe us several jokes, and it is THEY that must be funny, not you.

  On 12/23/2020 at 7:18 PM, koti said:

I need to go clean my bathroom the wife is screaming that I move my butt.

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I see your point. I have almost everything I need to calculate velocity in your case, given your wife's estimated glacial rate for your "butt". 

Posted
  On 12/23/2020 at 9:47 PM, Phi for All said:

Actually, in this section, the rules are quite clear. You owe us several jokes, and it is THEY that must be funny, not you.

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Duly noted. Is there a deadline to start my new funny self?

Am I allowed to be funny in the sense?:

  On 12/23/2020 at 4:25 PM, joigus said:

2. difficult to explain or understand; strange and not as you expect

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:rolleyes:

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
  On 1/9/2021 at 3:15 PM, J.C.MacSwell said:

LOL. I just got a picture in my mind of Trump entering the prison gates and Hilary standing outside chanting "Lock him up!"

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Like this one?

 

C8C0DAC8-1BD8-465B-81E3-18209D90718E.jpeg

Me? I laughed harder at this one:

image.jpeg.822ff5d45f14c4e57c0851b8cb8905b6.jpeg

Posted

Not funny at all; kind of sad, actually.

During lock-down, I've been watching the final season of that new show …
The United States of America.
 

  • 2 weeks later...

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