Political Humor

[Pangloss]

Not really political humor per se, but since it's related to political figures I thought I'd post it here. I noticed this picture over at Politico, and the first thing that came to mind was that apparently all Palins are born with the ability to see Russia from their house. (grin)

 

[Sisyphus]

That picture is begging for a caption contest.

[Pangloss]

[bascule]

[Pangloss]

[Pangloss]

[padren]

It's Penny Arcade, mostly gaming humor but it does fit with the frustration towards BP

[iNow]

[abskebabs]

[Pangloss]

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. The Senator's soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

 

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

 

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

 

St. Peter says, "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

 

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

 

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules", replies St.Peter. And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

 

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

 

"Now it's time to visit heaven," St Peter says.

 

So, 24 hours pass with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and the 24 hours in heaven passes by and St. Peter returns.

 

"Well, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now which will you choose for your eternity?" St Peter asks.

 

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well, I never would have thought it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be happier and better off .. In hell."

 

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

 

The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

 

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

 

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning.. Today .. You voted."

[iNow]

Not political, per se, but some of the conversations in Politics remind me of it:

 

 

 

This one, however, pure politics:

 

[Mr Skeptic]

dumb [duhm]

adjective, -er, -est, verb

 

–adjective

5. disagreeing with a politician on one or more issues. Depending on the circumstances, slightly more polite words might be used instead, or the accusation done only indirectly such as contained within a joke.

 

7. mute, silent

 

-verb

3. To attempt to mute or silence by calling a person dumb.

[Mr Skeptic]

Our new Statue of Liberty:

[padren]

I know the guy that does these, so technically it's a plug but I thought it was pretty funny and clever:

Don't Ask, Don't Care

Edited September 30, 2010 by padren

[padren]

Best I've heard addressing this event where Obama had a book thrown at him at a rally.

 

"The guy missed because Obama was further right than he expected."

 

The photo actually supports this.

Edited October 11, 2010 by padren

[Pangloss]

[divagreen]

CHICAGO (AP) - "An Illinois gubernatorial candidate's name was mistakenly listed as 'Rich Whitey' instead of Rich Whitney on thousands of Chicago electronic-voting machines and will be corrected, elections officials said Thursday."

 

link

 

And he is not even Republican...

Edited October 18, 2010 by divagreen

[Moontanman]

That picture is begging for a caption contest.

 

 

I agree, here is mine, "Uh oh, do farts have lumps?"

[padren]

Okay, this is too funny not to post:

 

http://www.mobot.org/gardeninghelp/plantfinder/Plant.asp?code=A896

 

Pterocarya fraxinifolia, common name "Caucasian wingnut"

Native from the Caucasus to northern Iran, Caucasian wingnut gets its interesting name from its fruit. After spring flowering, small green winged nutlets develop in the female catkins in early summer, forming pendulous strings to 20” long. Nutlets mature to brown in late summer to early fall, often persisting on the tree into winter. This is a deciduous tree in the walnut family that typically grows 30-60’ (less frequently to 90’) tall with a rounded, broad-spreading habit. Compound, odd-pinnate leaves grow to 18” long. Each leaf contains 7 to 27, ovate to oblong-lanceolate, sharply-toothed, glossy dark green leaflets (2-5” long). Undistinguished yellow-green fall color. Non-showy, monoecious light green flowers appear in pendulous catkins in late spring (May-June). Female catkins to 20” long. Male catkins to 5” long. Genus name comes from ptero (winged) and carya (hickory). Specific epithet is in reference to the similarity of the leaf to that of some ashes (fraxinus being the ash genus and folia meaning leaf).

 

The real question is if it makes a decent tea, which could be nice at parties.

[padren]

Another funny one:

[Pangloss]

[Pangloss]

[divagreen]

[Moontanman]

Mitt Romney Haunted By Past Of Trying To Help Uninsured Sick People

 

 

BELMONT, MA—Though Mitt Romney is considered to be a frontrunner for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, the national spotlight has forced him to repeatedly confront a major skeleton in his political closet: that as governor of Massachusetts he once tried to help poor, uninsured sick people.

 

Romney, who signed the state's 2006 health care reform act, has said he "deeply regrets" giving people in poor physical and mental health the opportunity to seek medical attention, admitting that helping very sick people get better remains a dark cloud hovering over his political career, and his biggest obstacle to becoming president of the United States of America.

 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/mitt-romney-haunted-by-past-of-trying-to-help-unin,20097/

[JillSwift]

Mitt Romney Haunted By Past Of Trying To Help Uninsured Sick People

 

BELMONT, MA—Though Mitt Romney is considered to be a frontrunner for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, the national spotlight has forced him to repeatedly confront a major skeleton in his political closet: that as governor of Massachusetts he once tried to help poor, uninsured sick people.

 

Romney, who signed the state's 2006 health care reform act, has said he "deeply regrets" giving people in poor physical and mental health the opportunity to seek medical attention, admitting that helping very sick people get better remains a dark cloud hovering over his political career, and his biggest obstacle to becoming president of the United States of America.

 

http://www.theonion....elp-unin,20097/

 

Oh my gaWD I love The Onion.

Edited April 23, 2011 by JillSwift