sugashana Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Hi guys and gals:-) So I recently started dating a very nice Chemist. I'm 26 and he's 42. Very smart and successful. I've never dated this type of guy before. I usually end up with the egotistical, controlling, manipulative "salesman" type. I'm excited but apprehensive. I know he would do anything to make me happy but will I be happy? I'm used to a very fast paced lifestyle. I can't say it's served me, but I'm goin 100mph most of the time. It's so new to me I'm not quite sure what to do:confused: Does that make any sense? Anyway I was hoping to get some ideas and some stories from other professional scientists regarding relationships. How did you meet your significant other and is she/he your total opposite? How is it working out?
YT2095 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 It's so new to me I'm not quite sure what to do:confused: the best answer anyone can give you is to Be Yourself!
sugashana Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Thanks YT2. I definitely feel comfortable being myself around him. He's sort of a nerd, and a little socially awkward. He's got a smokin body but not especially handsome. I'm a blonde with big fake boobs. Lol But I find his awkwardness very endearing. He's not the typical egotisical type I attract. I guess I'm just wondering if I'm ready to settle down yet. He would stand by me no matter what I decided. We are both being open and honest with each other. He's great but wants to be more serious. It's a big step because he lives 1000 miles away. Hmmm... Just thinking out loud. Merged post follows: Consecutive posts mergedDarn! Everyone looks but nobody throws anything out there. Let's hear it Science Forum! I need some insight:-)
Kaeroll Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 What's there to say? We chemists are a diverse breed. Your lucky man may well be fantastic - or he could be a total looney (like most of us. ) To answer your original questions... my professional advice as a professional* scientist is to wait and see, as you would with any other relationship. That and don't mention hydrogen bonding. My 'significant other' of nearly a year now is a fellow chemist and it's working out... explosively. O_O
Cap'n Refsmmat Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Come on, surely this is the obvious answer... You'll just have to wait and see if there's chemistry between you.
Kaeroll Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Come on, surely this is the obvious answer... You'll just have to wait and see if there's chemistry between you. Boooooo!
CaptainPanic Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 What is there to say? I'm not sure what you want from this thread... Chemists are indeed just people. some are shy, some are totally extrovert, some never leave the house and some go out a lot and party until they drop. That goes for all scientists and engineers and people in general. Being yourself is probably the most important. There's no point in trying to become scientific as well... you can show some interest of course, but you won't become a scientist from reading here, and studying a weekend (ok, if you keep coming here every day for the next 2-5 years, then you might start to get an idea). Don't pretend that you understand science when you don't. It's usually pretty easy to find out when somebody is clueless.
Kaeroll Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Don't pretend that you understand science when you don't. It's usually pretty easy to find out when somebody is clueless. True! Also, don't pretend you're interested if you're not. Most of the scientists I've met are enthusiastic to say the least about their area, and you're likely to end up knowing more than you ever wanted to about it.
YT2095 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Most of the scientists I've met are enthusiastic to say the least about their area, and you're likely to end up knowing more than you ever wanted to about it. LOL, I`v encountered enough Blank stares with eyes glassed over, to know That`s the truth she still married me though!
GutZ Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I think as a science site we need evidence to these "big fake boobs" in question...I can then properly analyze the situation.
YT2095 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 oh Goody, I haven`t played "Guess the Polymer" for ages!
sugashana Posted March 28, 2009 Author Posted March 28, 2009 What is there to say? I'm not sure what you want from this thread... Chemists are indeed just people. some are shy, some are totally extrovert, some never leave the house and some go out a lot and party until they drop. That goes for all scientists and engineers and people in general. Being yourself is probably the most important. There's no point in trying to become scientific as well... you can show some interest of course, but you won't become a scientist from reading here, and studying a weekend (ok, if you keep coming here every day for the next 2-5 years, then you might start to get an idea). Don't pretend that you understand science when you don't. It's usually pretty easy to find out when somebody is clueless. Okaaaay, I have a general science degree with a minor in Chemistry so I'm not a total effen retard. I do like to play one because it makes life easier if people think you're stupid. I'm a firefighter and when I'm not doing that I'm a stripper and nude model, so my life is pretty wild. My problem is... I've never dated a total nerd before. I've read a ton about it. Nerds can make great mates. Very loyal, logical, caring, and understanding. So I'm going for it right now, but what if I get bored. All part of being in a relationship I guess. Nice guys don't always finish last so I'm going for it. My question is... Did you ever marry a total nerd? or a bombshell, and how's it going? Polymer? LOL Silicone is the only way to go these days baby. Merged post follows: Consecutive posts mergedEarth Science, Bio, Chemistry, Physiology, I've got a pretty good grasp. So that's not the problem. I'm not a vendictive person at all I just never dated this type of guy before so I was hoping for some insight to your own personal experiences that's all. I agree, the last thing this guy wants to hear about is my strip club adventures and fighting fire in the middle of the desert. I hope is works out:) Are all you guys single or what? Merged post follows: Consecutive posts merged134 views and nobody has any experiences to share... Man it's not looking good for my new love. I hope he's not as apprehensive to communicate as you fellas. Sorry, that was mean, but I was expecting a little more warmth and a little less judgement. Something I would try is to read between the lines a bit... Not everything is in black and white.
cameron marical Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Are all you guys single or what? ouch. thats a below the belt shot. just because we are nerds, doesnt mean were all clueless when it comes to girls you know. I'm a firefighter and when I'm not doing that I'm a stripper and nude model, so my life is pretty wild oh really....
1nc4rnation Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I hope he's not as apprehensive to communicate as you fellas.Maybe there's something off about your message.
YT2095 Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Polymer? LOL Silicone is the only way to go these days baby. and Silicone is...?
Kaeroll Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I agree, the last thing this guy wants to hear about is my strip club adventures and fighting fire in the middle of the desert. I hope is works out:) Oooh, I dunno about that. Firefighting is much more exciting than science, I expect.(Except at night, when we're action heroes). 134 views and nobody has any experiences to share... I guess nobody's quite sure what you're looking for or expecting - in my experience at least, dating a chemist is no different than dating an historian (as was my 'first love'). Other than the lack of emotional blackmail and adultery, but I suspect that's more to do with the girl than the degree, amirite? As I said a moment ago,my girlfriend (no - we're not all single!) is a chemist and it doesn't really have much effect on our relationship, beyond her nicking my course notes from last year (she's a year below me on my course). We don't sit round discussing Claisen condensations and London forces. (A damn shame. ) Stop worrying and enjoy each day as it comes!
Phi for All Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 134 views and nobody has any experiences to share...Golly, the nude model/firefighter/stripper act is tough to follow. Operative word act. [skeptic mode auto]
iNow Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Nothing tough about it. While I agree with you that it's an act, even if it weren't, I've dated enough strippers in my lifetime to know that it's a waste of time and a bucket of psychological traumas not generally worth my investment.
Cap'n Refsmmat Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html Not entirely relevant, but it does have some important points.
iPeppers Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 My girlfriend is an international business major, and while I don't necessarily consider myself a geek or a nerd, I do love all sciences and computer science and take a lot of it in school. And everything has been working out great between us for the past two years. Yeah she doesn't always take a huge interest in science, but people don't tend to talk details about what they just spent their whole day doing in school or a job anyways. She loves that I'm curious and want to know how everything works, but we don't need to talk science or business when we are together. If you spend enough time with another person of roughly the same intelligence level, you will find that you have lots of other things in common like I do with my gf. Nobody wants to date a perfect clone of themselves, it's way more fun if you have differences.
YT2095 Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 LOL @ Cap`n http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html Not entirely relevant, but it does have some important points. my wife an I are currently sitting next to each other on the bed, emailing each other on our laptops! I sent her that link
Xittenn Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Polymer? LOL Silicone is the only way to go these days baby. Cohesive gel? I've always wanted a relationship like the one Dr. Maggie had with Jordan in City of Angels except married. I don't see the fun in dating fictional characters! Could you ask your boyfriend which line is better from a chemists POV Darphin or La Prairie?
sugashana Posted March 28, 2009 Author Posted March 28, 2009 LOL @ Cap`n my wife an I are currently sitting next to each other on the bed, emailing each other on our laptops! I sent her that link LMAO! I actually read that... and it brought me here. In bed emailing?... Nice... To each their own. I'm glad I could stir the pot and get some responses though. Thanks guys.
Paralith Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I don't mean to offend, but is there any reason you're dating him besides the fact that you've heard scientists are good boyfriends? I mean, I assume not, but if that's all you're basing a relationship on that's a problem in itself. I myself am a female scientist, and I've never much enjoyed my non-nerdy boy dating experiences because we never share enough interests to make the relationship fun. (My brief excursion into frat boys made me want to die of boredom.) But having spenttime as a datable girl amongst nerds I also know that nerdy boys are like any other group of boys in that they can all be very different - you can most certainly get the nerd/science version of the egotistical hot shot and the more stereotypical extreme of the computer nerd in his mother's basement playing WoW every minute he's not at work. My significant other of nearly five years is a software developer, is confident, social, likes going out and trying new things, and at the same time is just as happy with a night in cooking dinner and watching a movie. We can't tell you how things will go with your chemist because we don't know him.
sugashana Posted March 29, 2009 Author Posted March 29, 2009 (edited) No, and no offense taken. I actually didn't realize how socially awkward he was until we went on our first date. That's when I read the craigslist thing after I did a google search after the weekend date. I'm smitten because he seems so genuine. He has his flaws, as do I, but I joined the community to better understand how his brain might work. He may be more of a conceptualizer and me... a memorizer. Or he may be very visual, like any 42 year old, staring at a 20 something fitness model/stripper with blonde hair and gigantic boobies. I'm an honest, trustworthy person however. One in a million when it comes to the adult entertainment industry. Like I said, we're both in the bodybuilding industry and he has a rockin body, great mind, but he's not the most suave of characters. I'm just throwing it out there, sharing and seeing what comes back my way. I think this man could make me a very, very happy girl, free of controlling judgement, but then again... Like everything in life, he could just be blowing smoke up my skirt. Time will tell... But, my father is actually a Molecular Biologist, and it is instinctual for women to look for those same characteristics in a male partner they find endearing in their own father. Who is an awesome dad by the way. Edited March 29, 2009 by sugashana Consecutive posts merged.
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