Quality of Political Humor

[john5746]

 

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

 

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

 

ROFL! Did this really happen?

[Baby Astronaut]

No (Except at Rove headquarters, perhaps)

 

 

Same joke at: Why can't the Democrats see this , even a child does?

 

The answer picked by the questioner has a really twisted and incomplete worldview, but I liked the other answers. For example...

[hide](Makes complete sense.

 

Republicans usually have the intelligence level of young children) [/hide]

 

 

Here's a decent counter as follow-up...

 

I was talking to a friend's little boy who mows my lawn. I was telling him that I found someone else to mow my lawn.

 

"What do you mean?" he started tearing up. "Haven't I done a good job?". "It's not that" I said. "I pay you $20 to mow my lawn and I found a mexican guy who will do it for $10. Sorry, it's market forces at work". "I thought you hated illegal immmigrants?" the boy said. "I do" I replied "but business is business". The boy paused and thought for a moment. "So even though we don't like illegal immigrants we can still hire them? All this time I could have just outsourced it to this guy and made $10 a week for doing nothing while still hating his guts?"

 

And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party"

 

 

(However, most of the ones at that forums are lame. Maybe we could do better)

Edited April 23, 2009 by Baby Astronaut
added example in spoiler

[Pangloss]

It does seem to me sometimes that the right side of the American political spectrum trends toward the less intellectual side of political humor, and often carries a patina of word-of-mouth and spread-by-email baseness. I'm reminded of comedian Jeff Foxworthy. A sign of the times, perhaps, I don't know. That might be a bit unfair -- I don't mean to suggest that all conservatives are idiots.

 

I'm moving this into a thread because I want to keep the political jokes sticky to just the jokes themselves. Thanks.

[Mr Skeptic]

I've heard that whether you will be conservative or liberal has a correlation to genetics. It seems that conservatives are more fearful, and more fearful people are conservative.

voting-republican-may-be-a-survival-response.html

[Pangloss]

Somebody sent me an even sillier one today which they claimed ran in the St. Petersburg Times' business section (I've no idea if that's true):

 

Dear Mr. President:

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America’s economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

 

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

 

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the Following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered -Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

 

It can't get any easier than that! If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents pay their taxes...

 

I read this .. and reread it then read it a third time. All I can come up with is ... yeah that works.

 

Of course if you multiply 40 million times 1 million you get 40 trillion, which begs the question of whether the writer even realized this.

[Baby Astronaut]

Of course if you multiply 40 million times 1 million you get 40 trillion, which begs the question of whether the writer even realized this.

Yeah. Should've ended with...

 

I calculated this .. and didn't bother to recalculate then calculate it again. Because no ... that doesn't work.

 

 

which they claimed ran in the St. Petersburg Times' business section (I've no idea if that's true)

The link: http://www.tampabay.com/news/business/article973953.ece

[Pangloss]

Rofl, thanks BA, that's even funnier.

[ecoli]

Of course if you multiply 40 million times 1 million you get 40 trillion, which begs the question of whether the writer even realized this.

Example of what I like to call tardonomics.

[John Cuthber]

when I saw this

"A $50 Lesson

 

I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do? '

 

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

 

Her parents beamed.

 

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

 

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? '

 

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

 

Her parents still aren't speaking to me."

I assumed a few lines had been missed out. I thought the story was the same but after

"...Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? '"

it might have included

"Because he has mental health problems- sadly he will never hold down a job, even a menial one"

"Screw him then"

"I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'"

Edited April 26, 2009 by Pangloss
fixed quote tags

[iNow]

This isn't so much funny as it is thought provoking, but I didn't want to open a new thread just to share it... so, here ya go:

 

http://www.recombinantrecords.net/docs/2009-05-Amusing-Ourselves-to-Death.html

[bascule]

I suppose on the flip side I should mention there's some quality liberal-slanted humor coming out of The Daily Show, and I suppose more interestingly it has substance, like Glenn Beck vs. Glenn Beck on healthcare:

 

[DJBruce]

This isn't so much funny as it is thought provoking, but I didn't want to open a new thread just to share it... so, here ya go:

 

http://www.recombinantrecords.net/docs/2009-05-Amusing-Ourselves-to-Death.html

 

A Brave New World and 1984 being two of my favorite books ever I found this quite interesting and thought provoking. Up until now I have never really compared A Brave New World and 1984 in that way. I definitely have to read these books again and compare them with this perspective.

[JohnB]

I'm just waiting for President Obama to have an argument with the exiled Tibetan Leader. I can see the Headlines now;

 

"Obama Lama Ding Dong."

[swansont]

I'm just waiting for President Obama to have an argument with the exiled Tibetan Leader. I can see the Headlines now;

 

"Obama Lama Ding Dong."

 

Why would they fight? It's more likely they will get along and have a musical connection.

 

"Obama, Lama Sing Song."

 

Or, if an accident occurs with the ceremony honoring their meeting, which involves them damaging a percussion instrument

 

"Obama, Lama Ding Gong."

[John Cuthber]

Table tennis anyone?

Obama Lama ping pong?

[JohnB]

Good Grief.

 

What if they decided to indulge, um, recreationally?

 

Obama Lama bring bong?

[John Cuthber]

It's OK they didn't inhale.

Afterwards they settled down to watch a film about a giant gorilla...

[bascule]