Eye contact

[daniellos3]

When im in public places such as the bus, school cafeteria or other places when your around many people i always look down.. reason : Its difficult for me to look in other peoples eyes. And always when i look at someones face when he/her is looking in another direction he/her instantly looks back right into my eyes like he/her knows that im looking at her.. i dont get it, can someone explain why it happens? Even if he/her is 10-15 meters away he/her instantly senses that im looking at him/her :S

[ydoaPs]

People who have difficulty with eye contact often find it easier to look at a person's mouth instead. IMO, that makes more sense since that's where the sound is coming from. It also isn't really noticeable unless someone is looking for it.

[JillSwift]

People are constantly scanning other's faces. They "lock on" to you when eye contact is made. That's likely why it appears to you that they "know" when you're looking at them.

[daniellos3]

Also, i think most of you are familiar with the situation when your aside another car in the middle of traffic and you look to the left or right and the driver in the other car looks back, its kinda funny for me actually, i keep looking and when he looks at me i look away and then i look back etc.. =)

[Fuzzwood]

When im in public places such as the bus, school cafeteria or other places when your around many people i always look down.. reason : Its difficult for me to look in other peoples eyes. And always when i look at someones face when he/her is looking in another direction he/her instantly looks back right into my eyes like he/her knows that im looking at her.. i dont get it, can someone explain why it happens? Even if he/her is 10-15 meters away he/her instantly senses that im looking at him/her :S

 

Strangely they feel the same way. If you look back again, you will notice that they are looking at someone else again. Makes fun games

[Mr Skeptic]

Even if he/her is 10-15 meters away he/her instantly senses that im looking at him/her :S

 

Yup, it is very important to be able to tell when someone is looking at you. If you can see their eyes, then you must be in their line of sight even if only peripheral vision. Perhaps we have a subconscious process scanning our peripheral vision for people looking at us?

[Phi for All]

And always when i look at someones face when he/her is looking in another direction he/her instantly looks back right into my eyes like he/her knows that im looking at her.

Never use generalities when talking about experiential evidence. It only seems like it always happens every time.

 

Perhaps we have a subconscious process scanning our peripheral vision for people looking at us?

I think this is partly true, but I think it's the motion of someone turning their heads that catches our peripheral vision. When they turn their heads to look somewhere else, we don't register it as deeply as when we detect that movement and then catch them looking at us.

 

It could have to do with an aggression reaction as well. There are dominant animals that consider looking them in the eyes a challenge to their authority, and will display heavy aggression. Maybe that's what we're unconsciously scanning for.

[Severian]

It is something you should practice. Next time you are out and about, look directly into people's faces as they walk towards you. If they make eye contact, hold it and don't let go. Most people look away instantly. Some hold it in return, in which case you should smile and nod (as if you know them), or if it is a girl and you are feeling adventurous, wink. When you are past them, and here is an important bit, don't turn around and look at them.

 

I think that sort of exercise increases self confidence.

[daniellos3]

Good point Severen, i´m going to expand this thread a bit, there is also a familiar matter that also happens in every day life. Its when your walking against other people. Its also a matter of who´s the more dominant since you mentioned that the first one to look away has less confidence than the person that holds the eye contact and doesnt look away. When your walking towards a person One of the persons must walk in the other direction so that the other can pass otherwise they would just crash into each other.. The person who would clear path for other one would be the one that´s "weaker" and in most cases it will be the shorter person.. I think its somehow connected to the eye contact, the one that will look away first will have to clear the path for the other one.. I tried it. I looked at the person that was in my way and he looked away first and he moved away. I tried this several times and it´s always like that.. quite interesting don´t you think?

[Fuzzwood]

And if neither makes eye contact, you will start avoiding eachother at the same time and in the same direction

[daniellos3]

And if neither makes eye contact, you will start avoiding eachother at the same time and in the same direction

 

lol if the other is looking down and im looking at him then i still win and ill just crash into him and it will go into chaos xD No.. not really, your always checking if there are people in front of you and when you look and you see the other one looking in your eyes then the games begin . If both avoid eye contact then they will both move. You cant expect the other to move if you avoid the eye contact..

 

And yea about that when you said that they will go in both direction. Thats a common problem. You all know when your both trying to get past the other one and you always seem to go in both direction it will become awkward like you´ll stay on the same spot trying to get past him/her and she always goes the same direction. Sometimes the other one will just move the other one the other direction by pressing his/her shoulder to the opposite direction but that mostly happens when the awkwardness and waste of time has reached the limit.. Its also kinda funny xD

[Genecks]

I really think it has to do with dominance and aggression. Those are my psychological beliefs. For instance, I will tend to manipulate women by not looking directly in their eyes. Why? Because it shows shyness (lack of aggression and dominance). Also, I attempt to be very kind and sweet during such periods.

 

Does it work as a psychological tactic? Yes, to a degree.

Eye contact is only one aspect of the game. Rhetoric is another.

 

Stuttering. Kind words. Perhaps gestures or lip biting.

 

Abuse of psychological knowledge is awesome.

 

I will say, however, that in some cultures, eye contact can be disrespectful when talking to a "superior."

[greenprogrammin]

I believe understanding the subconcious activity is vital to answering the question.

 

An awareness of the other person is essential. If you are aware there is someone there you will most likely have subconcious thoughts of that person.

 

Someone may subconciously be thinking about that person and wondering if they are looking. With a quick glance you could be caught.

 

I would guess that that person knew you had an opportunity to look at them and they were wondering if you used that opportunity to do so.

 

You might look into a book called "Games People Play, The Psychology of Human Relationships".

 

Genecks....

Could you please send me the mailing address of everyone that you will ever come in contact with.... I would like to send them a copy!

 

Thanks!

[Tugrul]

If someone makes eye contact with me i always try to stare them down, if i cant i see my self as weak.