Lord of the Strings

[KaiduOrkhon]

Brian Greene is a Keen Flying Machine:

Spellbound, I will forever be under the baton of Nova's PBS broadcast Elegant Universe. Physicist Brian Greene is a Supreme and Empirical example of what it takes to become an American Idol. Anyone who can begin his fiat in real space-time with a one dimensional loop has my goat, I mean vote. There's no business like show business - like no business I know. The toughest business in the world. No I haven't stood in line to see the movie (stack it higher) yet, but I've read portions of the introduction to his book and all I can say is I've lost my ability to punctuate and misplaced any semblance of scientific inclination in the potent shadow of such a conspicuously talented and charismatic master of ceremonies.

 

In lieu of his Nobel Prize, room must be made for him in the house of Pulitzer, with Golden Globes suspended from the ceiling directly above the staging for the Academy Awards Oscar. Physicist Brian Greene is as every bit as elegant unto science & mathematics as Mike Tyson is unto pugilism in the international championship arena. The author is a model of what it takes to make it in the challenging world of political and social vertical ascension today. If Brian Greene and his 11 to 26 oscillating and undulating Super Strings don't vibrate all the way to the top of where it's at and stay there for another Millennium, displacing even the mighty big bang and black hole sensations, there is no Rex Reed or god... Meanwhile, the history of physics is kaput. My socks roll up and down in contemplation of the unfathomable depths that Lewis Carroll forsook, in his mathematical expeditions to and from Alice's Wonderland.

 

The destiny of science and humanity lies in the architectural ambition of designing a Castle in the Sky, where all that is needed is more bricks, mortar, multi-dimensional universal joints, wiring and an occasional - mathematically manifest - Sky Hook formula: when occasion behooves it. The Sky Hook's irreproachable mathematics rest on the backs of winged turtles. Forego talk of gravity. Any and all comprehensive understanding yields to highly classified. esoteric equations and formulae and elite societies of authorities ensconced in inscrutable coordinates.

 

Bewildered and beguiled public interrogatives may placate themselves with knowing with absolute certainty that the apparent complexities of reality are reducible to something that explains it with a burst of blinding lights that incapacitate all but the most refined, vitally youthful, specially educated and talented observers. A stronger, faster, more sentient class of scholars than there were before.

 

The Past, Present and Future is an anachronism.

 

As for me, I'm investing in #2 pencils and a tin cup. My goodness gracious in these editorial waves of future shock, what Joy of Cooking books will be Magically, Mystically & Mathematically Microwaved by String Theory's 'Mother', next? When Mother needs another string dimension, she summons Father to rustle one up. Hence 10 dimensions beget 11, and if need be, 11 beget 26, and more if you have need for them. Creating a begotten bustle of iconoclastically inbred bastards to rival - or sink - Noah's Ark.

 

The Ministry of Plenty has merged with a Star Trek inspired Hollywood Guild, founded in the Top Guns of Geneva & Stockholm, where the answers proliferate in the parameters of a jungle of particular particles inventoried in collisions of ponderous protons. The reinstallment of Einstein's 'abandoned' Cosmological Constant - Lambda /\ - is a public secret wrapped in dark energy and quintessence, while it is forgotten that Einstein (Who?) was returned to working on what he had earlier called the 'biggest blunder' of his life, before he perished at Princeton in '55.

 

Without a quantitative prediction in over 30 years the New Age string 'theory' advocates are push-pinned to the academic bulletin board, with the young school following the Ministry of Justice, the mathematicians following the funds and the physicists following the grants.

 

The Lost Platoon's objective is to bag a metaphorical lion Einstein spoke of in a parable - of a Unified Field that would unite electromagnetism, gravity and/or quantum theory - and, according to the latest reports from the inscrutable inner circle, quite possibly eliminate any need for gravity altogether.

 

Pretenders may fall with confidence upon the old saw of talking about something that they understand no one comprehends in the first place. Only string 'theorists'. ouija board masters, and certified table levitators will penetrate the mathematical entanglements, equations and collapsations of the triple canopy wet woodlands and thick snarling masses of tropical vegetation where Einstein's (!) fabled, Mighty King of the Jungle Makes and Maintains his Mystical Magic.

 

The lion is too large to be seen in the thick foliage and wilderness right now but the leading scatologists are reporting that soon rare paw prints will be located and the equation and formula slingers will be in gifted sight of the Jungle King's legendary one half inch of tail and then his mighty, hirsute caboose is predicted to emit a roar that may disable all sensory equipment for any further detection of him. The universe (one verse) has been modified by the New Age World Order to mean as many and more universes than there are grains of sand on all the beaches in all the world. The sparkling possibilities are as endless as the New Age revised, revolutionary new approach to the 21st century Theory Of Everything. The *Ministry of Truth has in the meanwhile cleared the path for the industriously unstoppable, corporate state sponsored safari - by way of dismissing reality, for lack of evidence.

(*Co-authored "Battered & Bullied Women Make Better Pancakes & Burgers")