Horror Story Thread

[ydoaPs]

If you have a good horror story, post it. I'll start:

 

Bush is president.

[MolecularMan14]

Alright, this is the scarriest thing I can think of. http://www.mynameisphil.com, and http://www.alexchiu.com

[pulkit]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!

 

 

Bush becomes president......and then you have an orgasm !!!

[Encrypted]

I love bush's Democratic Dictatorship idea!

 

Encrypted

[5614]

i think that bush was a good president, i want him again!

 

thats another true horror story, im not american so i cant vote though.

 

im not very good with short horror stories, heres a few your mum ones:

 

your mum is so fat:

 

she fell in the grand canyon and got wedged in

she puts her belt on with a boomerang

her cereal bowl came with a life guard

her driving license says "picture continued on other side"

her school picutre was an aerial photo......... from space

they had to change "one size fits all" to "one size fits most"

 

now imagine that, theres a horror story!

[coquina]

The scariest horror story I know is quite true. People believe everything they read in the media, and every "Conspiracy Theory" website on the net, rather than research and figure things out for themselves.

 

(Guess what, folks - research ought not to be limited to science.)

[Phi for All]

"But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." -George W. Bush, summing up his first year in office, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001

 

 

 

It was a dark and stormy night. President Bush sat in the Oval Office, enjoying the texture of silk against his skin. The red lace teddy had once belonged to J. Edgar Hoover, former FBI director and notorious cross-dresser. Dubya had worn the underwear under his blue suit all day long with no one the wiser. Now, at 2 a.m., his suit in a puddle on the floor, he finally gave in to the privacy of the moment and stood up, a little wobbly in the stiletto heels.

 

As he paraded around his office, he thought of how well the attack on Afghanistan had gone. The CIA had found Osama bin Laden easily, whisking him stateside where he would spend the next three years in hiding, kept alive by the finest doctors in covert service, awaiting the time for his more public "capture". Dubya figured one month before the 2004 election would be the perfect time to deliver bin Laden to the American people. He would have to be killed first, of course, even though no one would believe him when he claimed to have nothing to do with training the 9/11 terrorists. Dubya didn't want anything to mar the moment. He had the same plan in mind for Saddam Hussein and Iraq. Better to find Saddam sooner though, and throw him like a pork chop to the hounds. Someone was bound to question why Cheney's former company was getting all the choice bids. Saddam had played the pork chop role once before when Neil Bush, Dubya's other brother, was caught with his hand in the bank vault.

 

The American people were so gullible.

 

As if on cue, Dick Cheney flew in through an open window, his leathery wings becoming a flowing black cape as he transformed from bat to human form again. Moonlight reflected off his long canine teeth, dripping fresh blood onto the White House carpet. Dubya chuckled as he watched the Vice President take a tissue from the desk and gently dab the red smear at the corner of his mouth. "Soon, Dickey-boy, you'll be able to sink your teeth into Iraq. The people will know it as Operation Iraqi Freedom, but you and I will call it "Smorgas-burton". Won't that be sweet?"

 

Cheney grinned evilly and started to wheeze when he looked down at what the President was wearing. "Hoover lingerie again? If you're going to wear that while you dream of re-election, pick one that's not crotchless. That's disgusting!"

 

 

 

Next installment--No Child Left Behind; Underfunding Education or Zombie Manufacturing?

[Fellowes]

That Alex Chiu fella is out of it!

[Phi for All]

"I think the American people, I hope the American, I don't think, let me, I hope the American people trust me." George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

 

 

 

It was a dark and stormy morning. For a brief moment the flashbulbs stopped their mesmeric strobing as everyone in the press conference sat stunned by the words that had stumbled out of the President's ever-present smirk. He had just announced that "for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times." As the members of the press corps searched their minds for confirmation of having learned about WWII in school, one of the President's ringers in the audience switched subjects before anyone could recover.

 

"Mr. President, what are your plans for education?"

 

If anything, the smirk grew smirkier. Dubya said, "The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society." Pausing to sip from a glass of water, and feeling proud when none of it spilled from the side of his mouth he was smirking with, Dubya finally continued. "There's an old saying in Tennessee. I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says, fool me once, shame on, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again." Briefly the smirk slipped as he grew slightly petulant. "I'm the commander, see, I don't need to explain, I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president. Thank you."

 

As he turned to leave the dais, he bumped into Dick Cheney, who almost didn't get his hand out of the back of the President's jacket quick enough. The two of them strode down the hall in silence until they could slip into Cheney's office, safe from being overheard. The two of them doubled over with laughter and it was several minutes before either could speak coherently. Finally, Cheney said, "I almost soiled myself when you said you and Prime Minister Koizumi had talked about 'devaluation' instead of 'deflation'. That ought to send the yen tumbling!" Almost purple with laughter, Cheney poured himself a glass of fresh blood from the Waterford decanter on his desk and drained the glass dry before pouring another.

 

Wiping a tear from his eye, Dubya finally straightened and walked to the window, which had a fake scene of the DC landscape pasted onto it so no sunlight could enter Cheney's office. He looked out over his empire, fake as it was, and said, "You know, by showing these schoolkids that you can be dumb as a stump and still be President of the United States, within two generations we should be able get away with anything! I pushed this 'No Child Left Behind' crap and now that we've got the bill pushed through, I'm gonna underfund it by $27 billion!"

 

Cheney snorted blood out of his nose, then licked the drops where they had splashed onto the back of his hand. Setting his glass down and grabbing a tissue he told the President, "With the new 'Reality' TV trend Rupert is pushing, it'll only take one generation! Soon the entire American public will be the walking dead, zombies under our total control! I'm already working on throwing out their precious 'overtime' benefits. You watch, I'll put that through and they'll just say, 'Yes master!' I'll repeal the estate tax and tell them it's to protect the FARMS! I'm going to call it the 'Death Tax' so all those zombies will think it's hurting them! Mwa hahaha!" Cheney threw his arms skyward as ominous thunder growled around the White House.

 

Bush continued to look out the fake window, perplexed that he couldn't see the lightining that had caused the thunder. He still smirked though, unaware that tonight was the full moon. Coarse hair had begun to sprout in small patches on Dubya's hands and feet, and the President's tongue hung slack from the side of his mouth while he panted and smirked.

 

As he relieved himself in a corner of the office, Bush wondered idly if Cheney would mind if he chewed up one of the leather couch cushions. The thought made him smirk some more.

 

 

 

Next installment--Where Will The Werewolf Strike?

[Thales]

Whats worse is this moronic cowboy is 11 points up in the latest polls. Whats wrong with America?

[Phi for All]

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill." George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003

 

 

 

It was a dark and stormy afternoon. Secret Service agents made sure that no one followed the President as he made his way into this secret stretch of swamp, part of the original marsh on top of which all of Washington DC sat. Dubya stopped at the edge of an oozy patch, careful not to get mud on his Manolo Blahnik shoes. His unkempt hair and wiry werewolf beard made him look like Tom Hanks in Castaway, only much more well-fed.

 

A reeking haze hung over this section, with red maples covered in fetid streamers of moss and yuck from countless slimy DC denizens. Two hundred years of lies and broken promises hung like canned spinach from the fronds of plants that hadn't seen the sun in too long a time. Bush inhaled deeply of the reek and smiled. "Welcome to my neighborhood!" he chuckled. "Can you say 'miasma'? See, I know lots of big words." He giggled some more and then his face became serious as he stretched his hands out over the swamp. "Come to me!" he called in a low voice. "Come to me and aid me in this dark hour as you aided my father!"

 

The dismal background noise of frogs and crickets and birdcalls hushed into silence like a bad capacitor electrolyte scandal. Slowly, inexorably, a mound of rotted, filthy mush rose from the murk to take on human shape, shrouded in her garb of garbage and oily muck, to stand before the President of the United States. Dubya smirked at her and said, "Advise me, Condoleezza."

 

The Swamp Thing said, "What's up, Mr. President?"

 

Dubya kicked at a root protruding from the ground and said irritably, "People are saying we should have heeded the pre-9/11 intelligence warnings. You didn't bury that Presidential Daily Briefing deep enough in my to-do list."

 

Swamp Thing said, "I'll tell them no one predicted that they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile. I'll tell them the PDB was too vague."

 

Dubya said, "Yeah but all the contractors are in place now, I need to go to war with Iraq, that's where the money is! How do I get the people behind me?"

 

Swamp Thing said, "I'll tell the people we all want very much to see this resolved in a peaceful way, while you work out the plans to invade.”

 

"I got a couple of memos from the CIA saying Saddam doesn't have any nukes. Just some gas that Rumsfeld passed a while back. The nuclear material document from Africa was counterfeit."

 

Swamp Thing said, "I'll tell the people no one in our circles knew that there were doubts and suspicions that this might be a forgery."

 

Bush frowned and said, "What if the people find out we knew?"

 

Swamp Thing said, "I'll tell them the CIA cleared the speech in its entirety."

 

"And when the CIA brings up the memos?" Bush asked.

 

Swamp thing shrugged her peaty shoulders. "I'll tell them we didn't read the memos entirely. It will be simple negligence, not misleading the nation into an untenable war."

 

Dubya frowned for a moment longer, then broke into a smirk. "I didn't read the whole memo. They'll believe that. And even though I've already stated on at least two occasions that Saddam will have nukes within a year, you can just tell the people that I didn't say it was going to be NEXT year!" Bush's smirk fractured a bit more into a rare, full smile. He waded into the bog and embraced the oily, rotting creature in a Texas bear-hug, saying, "Swamp Thing, I think I LOVE you!"

 

 

Next installment--The Monster's Ball

[YT2095]

it`s scary when you dream you`ve eaten the worlds biggest Marshmallow, and then wake up and your pillow`s missing!!!

[Plecostomus]

ahahhahahaha.....this is kind of scary...

A person tries to shoot a deer, he misses, that night the deer goes into his house, and steals his gun. The guy has luckily has another gun (well he thinks his wife took the gun away from him), he goes out into woods and sees that the deer had stolen his gun. He was furious, pow! pow! pow! the deer shoots the guy. lol.

[Dave]

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."[/b'] George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003

 

rofl, those crack me up every time

[NavajoEverclear]

Far as i can tell the only people who like Bush, because they think they have to to be a good christian. Or because their hicks and think he's doing a good job of serving woop-ass. They just dont see that he's inviting the world to hate us even more.

 

As for horror stories, this one isn't horror, but it was scary.

 

Kay, there is a forest behind my house, also a resevoir in which several people have drowned. Naturally there are several stories about the place. Well who cares about them, but i got home from a party at about midnight, the front door was locked and my key to it doesn't work for some reason. Thats ok, i got a key to the back door. As i'm walking around back i can hear a faint noise, a little unusual, but it could be a bird. As i get to my back door, up on a deck, the noise is clearer, it is definately a human voice. A woman singing a creepy, haunting tune that repeats perfectly several times while my heart starts beating as i scramble to unlock the back door. Being nervous it of coarse takes me longer to get it open and i have more time to get scared. Then i got in and locked the door. Thats it, i dont know what it was. A few minutes later i opened my window, but didn't hear anything.

 

Another frightening experience i had was being paralyzed (not from fear, i did get scared, but i simply couldnt move to begin with) in my bed, half between dream and sleep and seeing a figure of a man standing in the curtains over my window.

 

Ok i've got to stop talking about it, cause the memories might spark something else to happen, which i dont think i want

[Phi for All]

"Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life."George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

 

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

 

 

It was a dark and stormy evening. The swanky Georgetown costume party was in full swing, and all the Beltway bigwigs were there. President Bush and members of his cabinet stood in a corner, blocking access to the open bar, cackling like loons as Secret Service goons tossed another Democrat out the back door for having the temerity to ask for a refill.

 

Here they felt at home. While Ted Kennedy held court across the room, dressed as a martini with a huge plastic sword stuck through his head, his hair died green and his face a normal pimento red, Bush & Co were wearing their street clothes. Bush's matted hair stuck up in all directions, even from under the collar of his blue chambray work shirt and the frayed cuffs of his jeans. His teeth were huge as he let his tongue loll from the side of his mouth, and his nostrils flared at the smell of alcohol in close proximity.

 

Cheney wore his signature black cape with a waxed widow's peak pointing down between his crossed eyes, fangs drooling scotch as he tried to mesmerize each passing serving girl. Ashcroft was there as well, his body draped head to toe in narrow strips of musty linen, both breasts covered securely, the stench from his putrid, mummified decay earning him a healthy comfort zone even from this rotten bunch, including Rice, whose ooze-coverd body trailed muck and twigs across the fancy carpet.

 

Suddenly, the main doors swung open with a thunderous bang as the Secretary of Defense stumbled into the party. Stitched together from the bodies of the American military dead, Rumsfeld made his way jerkily across the ballroom floor to join the President and his cabinet by the bar, where he angrily ordered a cigar and some hot soup.

 

The President smirked at him. "Well, Donny-boy, you look all worked up! I haven't seen you this upset since Dick fired the Big "O", Paul O'Neill, before we found the money to pay for your war! Now stop playing with your neck-bolts and tell Daddy what's wrong!"

 

Rumsfeld's eyes, one brown and one green, looked anguished as he said, "Uuhhnn, some photos were taken at Abu Ghraib."

 

Cheney said, "I know, we all ordered a full set. Good stuff, very high quality. Nice work there, Don."

 

"Uuuhhhnnn," Rumsfeld shook his head, growing ever more agitated. "Unauthorized photos. On the Internet. Too late to get them back."

 

Bush howled. Cheney hissed and showed his fangs. Rice began edging towards the veranda overlooking the swamp. Ashcoroft paled, even through his mummy wrap. Rumsfeld stuck the wrong end of his cigar in his mouth and screamed, spilling hot soup down his leg as he proceeded to wring the neck of the bartender.

 

Suddenly, the disembodied, bald head of Ari Fleischer appeared, spinning slowly around as he clucked and tsked to calm the agitated politicians down. "Don't worry, boys! Here's the way we'll spin this: the Commander-in-Chief can't be held responsible for the actions of the military. It'll work, I know it will!"

 

They all stared at him for a few moments, then Bush turned on Rumsfeld and screamed, "You're the one going down for this, torture-boy! You're the one who authorized this! You better have your resignation on my desk by tomorrow..."

 

Cheney calmed the President, saying, "Look into my eyes, George. No one is resigning. Haven't I told you a million times before that no one cares about mass death and torture? Tell them you're going to purposely kill 500,000 Iraqi civilians and a circus clown and everyone will ask, 'Why the clown?' No one cares about them over there! No one remembers that Jesus was from the Middle East! The American public sees all terrorists wearing robes and turbans because that's the image we've payed billions for! You mark my words, we'll throw some mud on Kerry's war record, we'll raise the price of gas, we'll bring Bin Laden out of hiding and pretend we just captured him, and then, come election time, no one will remember a bunch of pictures of filthy, naked, abused Muslim prisoners, I guaran-f*cking-tee you."

 

"I'll remember them, especially the ones where they made them look... you know, gay," Ashcroft mumbled, grinning under his rotting bandages.

 

Cheney and the others, including the President after a brief pause, all began to laugh at their absurd fears. Cheney beamed and said, "That's the spirit! And after the re-election, we'll give the State Department a Colin-oscopy, merge Haliburton and the Carlyle Group, move their headquarters into the vacated United Nations building and start ourselves World War III, now won't that be grand, boys?!"

 

And they all agreed that, yes, it would be grand, monsterously grand, and they were all happy to be a part of it. The President howled, then smirked, and finally howled some more.

 

 

The End?--The Mask of Terror by Phi for All

[drz]

I wouldn't really call these horror stories, but they definetly spooked me.

 

Once, I woke up in the middle of the night, and sat up quickly. As I wiped my eyes and looked around in the moon lit room, it seems like everything in the room was levitating about 3 feet in the air. As soon as I realizes this, everything came crashing down. The sound woke up my parents, who of course did not believe me. I've since discounted it as just a dream, and I must have hit the wall or something to wake my parents.

 

Another time, a myself and a friend were hanging out in the woods behind my house one night. We were sitting on a fallen tree when I noticed this sound, like a drum, but it sounded like a heart beat. At first I ignored it, but as time went on it kept getting louder and louder. I asked my friend Joe, "Do you hear that sound?" He was completly silent. When I asked him a second time, he tucked tale and ran like hell. The sound was really, really loud, but we heard nothing rustling through the trees and leaves. So I proceeded to follow Joe out of the woods, and noise sounded like it was right behind me. The very moment I stepped out of the forest into my back yard, the sound was gone. I have never been able to explain this one.

 

My mother tells a story of when she was quite young, living in a trailer with her younger brother and mother. Grandma was in her bedroom, my uncle was asleep, and my mom was doing dishes and cleaning up for the evening. Grandma screamed because her light suddenly turned on for no apparent reason. Mom goes in to check on her. Grandma claimed that Satan turned the light on, mom tried to comfort her, turned the light back off and went back to what she was doing. This repeated a few times, until finally mom carried a cross and bible into the room. At this time, she said she felt a strong wind push past her, and went out through the front door of the trailer, completly removing the door, frame and all.

 

My explanation for this one is my Uncle, even today he is quite the prankster. I believe he kept turning the light on, and the wind my mom felt was likely from an open window (this was in florida). The only thing I can't really explain is the removal of the front door.

 

1 more. I forget the date, but long before the automobile I had family in PA. It was a young couple, recently married who purchased a house in the area. When they moved in, there was this black cat living inside the house. As they moved all their things in, the cat would destroy them. Each night for instance, the cat would find its way into their closet, a shred their clothes.

 

Finally, they decided to capture the cat and drop him off in the middle of the forest, far away from home. The next morning, the cat was back, their clothes shredded once more. So they believed the cat to be a demon, and requested the services of a priest to perform an exorcism.

 

After this, the cat disapeared, not in thin air, but was just never seen again. However, the following week, they awoke to find a large portion of the exterior of their house missing. An entire wall had virtually vanished, with no rubble in the yard. They packed their bags and head to florida.

 

Ok, 1 more story I just remembered. Again, nothing horrific but definetly makes you wonder. A few years back we were out riding motorcycles at this place claimed to have been a satanic worshipping ground. I noticed this blade sticking up out of the ground, so I went to retrieve it. It turned out to be a bayonet from WW1. It had this odd rust looking coloration to it. It reaked of blood. I also found the case for it nearby. Anyhow, everyone who has every seen it agrees it smells like blood. So I decided to try and clean it up. I got rust remover, some metal polish and got it shiny as new. It still smelled like blood. I soaked it in alcohol, still stunk. I removed the wooden handle and poored gas on it, set it on fire and let it burn out. It still reaks of blood.

 

I had known a guy who said he was a Wiccan priest, I showed it to him once. He said this blade has seen lots of death, and was possessed by a spirit. Unsheathing the blade in a home released this spirit into that home. I had found and unsheathed it inside my house shortly before my first story in this thread.

[Phi for All]

Those are really creepy, drz, creepier still because they actually happened to you, not a friend of your cousin's barber.

 

Mine had real quotes but I made the rest up, in case you hadn't noticed.

[MolecularMan14]

i gotta say, I would love to believe you, but ya know, it's just kinda hard to believe! oh well, I guess there is no way of proving these types of things.

[Phi for All]

i gotta say, I would love to believe you, but ya know, it's just kinda hard to believe! oh well, I guess there is no way of proving these types of things.

No, really, I swear! I used real quotes from Bush and Rice and the others, but they are NOT actual vampires and werewolves. Bush became the werewolf becasue a band named Bush did a song on the soundtrack for An American Werewolf in Paris, see. And Cheney became the vampire because... well, because he SUCKS!

 

I'm pretty sure I can prove that Ashcroft isn't a mummy, either.

 

Rumsfeld really is a monster, though.

[MolecularMan14]

oh, i know that, I was replying to drz

[Phi for All]

Oh, I know that, I was being funny. Trying.

 

Never mind.

[blike]

My toilet once flushed itself when I walked by, honestly. I was horrified, but I was also only 12.

[MolecularMan14]

lol, that happened to me once, when I was about 6. I thought a ghost was taking a crap, but it turns out it was just running to change the water.

[Phi for All]

There is something ironic about getting the sh*t scared out of you by the toilet.