blame upon others

[mab]

Hi,

Why some people get angry when are faced with difficulty,and try to put blame on others even if it is there own mistake?

From: Mab

[jordan]

It's just a natural reaction to think that you were not the one that erred. It takes some guts to stand up and say that you were wrong; it's much easier to blame somene else. By blaming someone else, you are really diverting the attention from the fact that you made a mistake to the fact that you are blaiming someone else, and for some odd reason that seems to be preferable.

[mab]

thanks for reply,does anger mean hidding from problem,and making it even bigger.

and blaming upon others shows that person is selfish.

mab

[YT2095]

I suspect that the anger comes from being found out, and is anger at yourself, that in turn is demonstrated outwardly.

[Sayonara]

In populations that form groups or herds as an anti-predation strategy, not standing out as an individual with any particular weakness increases chances of survival.

 

I wonder if this is some kind of related psychological relic?

[Glider]

As for blaming others, I have always liked this story:

 

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.

 

"The man below replied "You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

 

"You must be an engineer" said the balloonist.

 

"I am" he replied. "How did you know?"

 

"Well," answered the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is, I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

 

The man responded, "You must be in management."

 

"I am" she replied, "But how did you know?"

 

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault.”

[Dave]

I've heard that one before, nice one

 

From my own experience, it's just the fact that they want their record to be sparkling so dump the mistake on someone lower down. People like that aren't very popular in the office and often don't get very far.

[Glider]

That's true. Although, the normal rules of acceptable behaviour (accepting blame when wrong, etc..) seem to be reversed if you go high enough. For example, the £1M bonus paid recently to railtrack bosses.

[john5746]

Hi' date='

Why some people get angry when are faced with difficulty,and try to put blame on others even if it is there own mistake?

From: Mab[/quote']

 

This is natural behavior for a 2 year old. If they are not taught that this behavior isn't acceptable, then they will continue. Actually, many people may exhibit this behavior in certain settings - say at work, but then at home be docile. Anger tends to get things done.

[mab]

How can we handle such a person ,who puts blame upon others ,and become angry when faced with problem or increase in work load because in long run this attitude destroys people under such a person, because of his anger no new work or project is discussed and everything becomes stagnant ?

Mab.

[YT2095]

Mab, I`ve merged your thread into this one, it didn`t warrent a seperate thread

[Dave]

That's true. Although, the normal rules of acceptable behaviour (accepting blame when wrong, etc..) seem to be reversed if you go high enough. For example, the £1M bonus paid recently to railtrack bosses.

 

And the payoff deal (£2.2 million + £0.5m for pension scheme) given to the failed executive of M&S.

[mab]

Thanks for merging the thread(YT2095).

[5614]

Why some people get angry when are faced with difficulty,and try to put blame on others even if it is there own mistake?

its a human response... humans do not wish to be blamed and do not wish to make mistakes, esp. when they effect others.... so they blame someone else, so that they dont see themselves as the problem. this stops stress of the individual.

[Phi for All]

How can we handle such a person ' date='who puts blame upon others ,and become angry when faced with problem or increase in [u']work load[/u] because in long run this attitude destroys people under such a person, because of his anger no new work or project is discussed and everything becomes stagnant ?

Mab.

Imo, the best way to handle a superior at work who blames others for his mistakes is to state plainly to him/her that responsibility for the mistake is secondary to working as a team to fix the mistake. Emphasize that humans can't foresee every problem and are bound to create errors. Spending time assigning blame takes away from effort at fixing the problem.

 

Do this and you give your boss a way of moving forward without actually taking the blame, you have not taken the blame on yourself, and you all may end up more productive. As long as you suffer no consequences by standing up to the boss when everyone knows who is to blame, the boss should feel this is a positive approach and go for it.

 

Btw, don't expect this idiot to thank you for it. In all likelihood, he/she is going to make it seem like it was their idea.

[mab]

I appreciate the thoughtful suggestions.

[ctc7752]

You have to realize that there are two kinds of people in the world-leaders and followers. Evidently you are the leader type. Charles