Taking your shoes off in the house - Should others respect your strain rule?

[alleptWaywhep]

The number of people who I come to see or fall upon us automatically inherit their shoes rancid when entering the house. I cause undivided attendant on who refuses to do it when she visits. Do you think we are unfair to ask her to deprecate her shoes off. She makes areall bother everytime and rain

[CaptainPanic]

If the owner of a house asks you to take your shoes off, then you take them off. It's really simple.

In many countries worldwide, from tropical to arctic countries, it's a very common practice to take the shoes off inside the house. It keeps the sand/mud/water/snow outside.

 

Personally, I generally ask what the host expects me to do... shoes on or off.

 

Your guest is unfair, not you.

[Doc. Josh]

Thats my rule in the house, everybody shoes off PERIOD! WHITE CARPET+SHOES=DIRTY CARPET. If your guest does not comply with your request then a guest they shall not be.

[zapatos]

One of the guidelines I've always tried to live by is "Don't make people uncomfortable". And this guideline is even more important when I am a host. What that translates into for me is to allow my guests as much flexibility with regard to my rules as I can. For example, in my house you cannot sit on the kitchen table. But if I had a guest over and he sat on the kitchen table I wouldn't say a thing, since I can live with that. On the other hand in my house you cannot smoke. If someone lit up a cigarette in my house I would ask them to put it out or go outside because that rule is more important to me than my guest's comfort.

 

So, if a host asked me to take my shoes off I would. If a guest was uncomfortable with the idea of taking their shoes off, I would let them keep them on.

[Zjar]

If the owner of a house asks you to take your shoes off, then you take them off. It's really simple....Personally, I generally ask what the host expects me to do... shoes on or off.

 

...if a host asked me to take my shoes off I would. If a guest was uncomfortable with the idea of taking their shoes off, I would let them keep them on.

 

There are sanitary, housekeeping, and cultural motives for taking shoes off, which are fairly well known.

I wonder what motives there are for keeping shoes on? I can imagine:

 

* wanting to keep feet and/or socks clean(er)

* avoidance of showing socks (fashion)

* avoidance of showing feet (aesthetic, confidence, anti-sensualist ((some religions probably, like conservative chador wearing perhaps?)), modesty ((morality)) )

* medical ((eg protection after surgery)), physiotherapeutic ((poor posture, skin soles whose grip is incompatible with floor material, texture, or conditions)) )

* 'moral' or emotional support for others who are wearing footwear

* protest ((political, religious, interpersonal, mood, existential, artistic, food ethics)) )

* aesthetic ((prefer displaying particular footwear))

* temperature (too hot, too cold, too much change occurring or possible), climate (including microclimate: too humid/ dry/ foggy for those with short range vision)

* footwear contains needed accessories (eg mountain climbing tools, stiletto for personal defence or mission, money)

* regulations (eg military or organizational or retail store policy, contravening personal conscience)

 

This perspective has more rarely been described.

 

What other motives can we cite or imagine?

[ecoli]

People usually regret asking me to take my shoes off after they smell my feet.

[CaptainPanic]

There are sanitary, housekeeping, and cultural motives for taking shoes off, which are fairly well known.

I wonder what motives there are for keeping shoes on? I can imagine:

 

* wanting to keep feet and/or socks clean(er)

* avoidance of showing socks (fashion)

* avoidance of showing feet (aesthetic, confidence, anti-sensualist ((some religions probably, like conservative chador wearing perhaps?)), modesty ((morality)) )

* medical ((eg protection after surgery)), physiotherapeutic ((poor posture, skin soles whose grip is incompatible with floor material, texture, or conditions)) )

* 'moral' or emotional support for others who are wearing footwear

* protest ((political, religious, interpersonal, mood, existential, artistic, food ethics)) )

* aesthetic ((prefer displaying particular footwear))

* temperature (too hot, too cold, too much change occurring or possible), climate (including microclimate: too humid/ dry/ foggy for those with short range vision)

* footwear contains needed accessories (eg mountain climbing tools, stiletto for personal defence or mission, money)

* regulations (eg military or organizational or retail store policy, contravening personal conscience)

 

This perspective has more rarely been described.

 

What other motives can we cite or imagine?

Zjar, I think that the 2 main reasons are:

- Laziness

- Incapability of taking shoes off and/or putting shoes back on

 

I think that laziness is one of the main reasons that people don't want to put their shoes on and off. It takes 30 of their precious seconds, and they'd prefer to spend those 30 seconds doing some other useless activity such as watching TV.

 

Also, many people just cannot comfortably bend or kneel down to put their shoes on, either because they're too fat, too stiff, too old, or because their clothes to not allow it, or because the hall does not allow it (because it's too small, with too many guests, and the only way to bend down is to put your face into someone else's ass).

[Djordje]

The guest should of course ask, and do as you say. My experience so far: whenever I went to someone, I always asked whether I should take my shoes of or keep them on. The host in 90% of cases said: "Do as you wish" and I'd do either keep 'em on or take 'em off depending on two things:

1. If I'm in a brief visit? (If so keep them on but only if they're not dirty)

2. If I'm there for a lunch or for a longer visit always take them off.

[TonyMcC]

If you would like friends you regularly visit to remove their shoes when they visit you then you should automatically remove your own shoes when visiting them. Also leave your own shoes in your hallway when your put on your slippers so visitors will see them. These actions will probably make words unnecessary.

[Marat]

From a medical point of view I can tell you that there are many more people in the world who have to wear orthopedic shoes because of foot deformities than you would imagine. Because of foot deformations, many people need to wear supportive shoes to avoid extreme pain while walking or to maintain their balance. Also, by forcing people to remove their shoes, you may be compelling them to reveal an otherwise hidden deformity.

[Djordje]

From a medical point of view I can tell you that there are many more people in the world who have to wear orthopedic shoes because of foot deformities than you would imagine. Because of foot deformations, many people need to wear supportive shoes to avoid extreme pain while walking or to maintain their balance. Also, by forcing people to remove their shoes, you may be compelling them to reveal an otherwise hidden deformity.

 

So as I said, the host should say (and as my experience had shown me): "Do as you want." and it's up to guest to decide whether to take 'em off or not. If the guest can take off the shoes he should do as I said in my post above - if it's not medically possible or for any other good reason then he shouldn't take 'em off (but still make sure they're cleaned properly on doormat).

[Dan_Ny]

you guys are still forgetting about the smell, dudes...

[CaptainPanic]

So as I said, the host should say (and as my experience had shown me): "Do as you want." and it's up to guest to decide whether to take 'em off or not. If the guest can take off the shoes he should do as I said in my post above - if it's not medically possible or for any other good reason then he shouldn't take 'em off (but still make sure they're cleaned properly on doormat).

I disagree.

 

There are cultures (Scandinavia to name one) where it's very common to take the shoes off. That's probably because of the snow that's just outside the door for 4-6 months per year. Farmers worldwide (especially those with cattle) often also take off their shoes, because the ground outside the house isn't too clean.

 

Those people have the fullest right to demand of all their guests that they take the shoes off. It's their home, and therefore their rules.

 

And if someone with a deformation really needs shoes, then that's fine. The host will have to provide a way to clean the shoes to make them suited for indoors. A regular doormat isn't always enough.

Edited March 21, 2011 by CaptainPanic

[Djordje]

I disagree.

 

There are cultures (Scandinavia to name one) where it's very common to take the shoes off. That's probably because of the snow that's just outside the door for 4-6 months per year. Farmers worldwide (especially those with cattle) often also take off their shoes, because the ground outside the house isn't too clean.

 

Those people have the fullest right to demand of all their guests that they take the shoes off. It's their home, and therefore their rules.

 

And if someone with a deformation really needs shoes, then that's fine. The host will have to provide a way to clean the shoes to make them suited for indoors. A regular doormat isn't always enough.

 

The only reason I think host should give full freedom is just politeness - not giving an order. The guest should know if he's expected to remove them and do so.

[Ankles]

One of the guidelines I've always tried to live by is "Don't make people uncomfortable". And this guideline is even more important when I am a host.

 

This is basically the tenet I live by, too. I want people to feel comfortable in my home. But when entering someone's home for the first time, and it's apparent that they all remove their shoes, I'll generally ask if they'd prefer me to follow suit. I'm happy to remove my shoes; being barefoot is part of my relaxation mode.

[zapatos]

Those people have the fullest right to demand of all their guests that they take the shoes off. It's their home, and therefore their rules.

Manners work both ways. While a guest should always try to comply with the rules of a home, a host should take whatever steps they can to make the guests welcome. If a host treats their guests to demands (It's my home, I make the rules!), they may find that the guests avoid the problem in the future by staying away altogether.

[Doc. Josh]

Also to further comment on the subject matter i dont think this was brought up. Its also about the kind of person he/she is, if they are dirty people messy home animals running in and out type scenario then i dont believe shoes off is a good idea for personal health concerns and i believe the person wouldnt even know. On the contrary a persons home which is meticulas and clean shoes off should be expected. and if that is an on goin g issue than footies might be an idea to consider...

[Jasper]

The number of people who I come to see or fall upon us automatically inherit their shoes rancid when entering the house. I cause undivided attendant on who refuses to do it when she visits. Do you think we are unfair to ask her to deprecate her shoes off. She makes areall bother everytime and rain

 

 

It is common courtesy when visiting at someone else's home to respect their house rules. If you can't do that then don't visit them is my thinking on that.

 

Ask them to remain outside and continue the conversation there then.

 

Friends should be mutually respectful.