Hate advice

[mab]

Why sometimes we hate to listen to advice?

[Firedragon52]

Why sometimes we hate to listen to advice?

Because we know everything already...right?

[YT2095]

I can understand the hating of hearing BAD advice, but other types???

[ydoaPs]

I can understand the hating of hearing BAD advice, but other types???

 

i think he is talking about constructive criticism.

[BrainMan]

When you offer unsolicited advice to someone, you are implicitly suggesting that the other person is incompetent or just too stupid to figure it out for themselves.

[Glider]

Often, when people ask for advice, they are actually asking for objective justification for a decision they have already made. If the advice given differs to what they want to hear, it usually doesn't go down too well.

[alt_f13]

Often, when people ask for advice, they are actually asking for objective justification for a decision they have already made. If the advice given differs to what they want to hear, it usually doesn't go down too well.

 

I love positive reaffirmation; that is totally me. Critisism, regardless of what 'constructive' properties it may possess infuriates me, especially on matters that I consider myself an authority on. grr...

 

Something that makes me even madder, though, is someone saying "no" just because an idea wasn't theirs. It is like they don't want to admit someone has the ability think something up before they do. (Of course I'm talking about 'the man' here.) Being someone who considers himself to be rather industrious, this is a real pain in the patooter to me.

[Verusamore]

From observation .

 

My little brother doesn't take kindly to advice .

My mother doesn't listen when I suggest something .

Other children don't like parents advice .

Parents don't like childrens advice .

Some families / people are like this , so here is my idea ..

 

why .

Because people have ways of defending oneself from defeat / humiliation

how ..

Because they say they already know everything , so therefore will prove you wrong no matter how right you are .

why ...

They don't want to appear any less smarter than anyone else ,

why ....

If I were to not like being put down then I would seem to be one who doesn't like others to be smarter than me .

 

From analysis

In compariscence ,

 

>In eastern cultures children are tought to respect there parents words ,

>In western cultures most children are tought through television .

My family comes from an eastern background yet I was raised in a western country

and how do these relate to factors?

 

Cultural Identity defines a person to be as one who reflects a respect or reaffirmation towards there influences .

 

and why ?

 

Because in western cultures , children have the belief that parents are 'old fashioned' ,are not 'cool' to be around and are

 

probaly not worth listening to either therefore adopting other ways of fitting into society with a prone-ess to fall under the

 

children with weak personality types therefore are vulnerable to peer pressure and other external influences

[gene]

i agree on the eastern culture and western culture. Good Point. THat is mainly the problem. OUr exposure. The culture that we live in greatly contributes to the building of oour character.

Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.

 

Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.

 

It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.

[gene]

i agree on the eastern culture and western culture. Good Point. THat is mainly the problem. OUr exposure. The culture that we live in greatly contributes to the building of oour character.

Besides, the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.

 

Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.

 

It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.

[Lance]

Many times I don’t listen to advice because the person giving the advice doesn’t really care about helping but just wants to make themselves look better than me.

[Lance]

Many times I don’t listen to advice because the person giving the advice doesn’t really care about helping but just wants to make themselves look better than me.

[Gilded]

Personally, I don't mind advice. Unless it concerns something I consider myself being good at. Luckily, there aren't many things I'm good at so guess I mostly like advice. :|

[Gilded]

Personally, I don't mind advice. Unless it concerns something I consider myself being good at. Luckily, there aren't many things I'm good at so guess I mostly like advice. :|

[Ophiolite]

The one piece of advice I would give you Gilded is , never take anybody's advice.

[Ophiolite]

The one piece of advice I would give you Gilded is , never take anybody's advice.

[john5746]

i agree on the eastern culture and western culture. Good Point. THat is mainly the problem. OUr exposure. The culture that we live in greatly contributes to the building of oour character.

Besides' date=' the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.

 

Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.

 

It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.[/quote']

 

I have a great deal of respect for 'Eastern' culture - what I understand of it. I think some of the 'Western' influences mentioned came about from economics. In the US, kids are expected to go out and live on their own, earn a living, etc. So, parents want them to be independent. When they grow old, they want to remain independent.

 

As far as advice goes, in my experience, I have found Japanese/Chinese to take criticism/advice worse than Americans. Losing face is a big deal to them. So, I don't think Eastern or Western culture handles advice any better, except with Parents as you mentioned. But, you can respect someone and still not take their advice - like marrying an idiot for example.

[john5746]

i agree on the eastern culture and western culture. Good Point. THat is mainly the problem. OUr exposure. The culture that we live in greatly contributes to the building of oour character.

Besides' date=' the eastern culture has been greatly influenced by the western culture. THat's is why now, we notice this shift. Asian do not necessarily respect that parents that much any more because in through western influence, we are thought of the thing called freedom. the will to do anything we want. Direspecting in this case.

 

Education had boosted our ego in us. many think he/she is smarter. therefore, refusing to heed advice.

 

It all boils to to character. And how our environment has caused us to become what we are.[/quote']

 

I have a great deal of respect for 'Eastern' culture - what I understand of it. I think some of the 'Western' influences mentioned came about from economics. In the US, kids are expected to go out and live on their own, earn a living, etc. So, parents want them to be independent. When they grow old, they want to remain independent.

 

As far as advice goes, in my experience, I have found Japanese/Chinese to take criticism/advice worse than Americans. Losing face is a big deal to them. So, I don't think Eastern or Western culture handles advice any better, except with Parents as you mentioned. But, you can respect someone and still not take their advice - like marrying an idiot for example.

[iglak]

me personally:

i love advice when i ask for it, and i like advice when it's helpful. but sometimes people give advice in order to make others think they are smart, or smarter than the one they are giving advice to. i hate that. and i hate it when people give me advice to do something in the same way that i was going to do it, or was in the process of doing.

 

in my town (near San Francisco, California, USA), a lot of kids in my grade are depressed right now. from observations, and interactions with my parents, i've concluded that the main reason is an absence of trust from parents to kids. all our lives we've been taught that we will be something great someday, that there is no end to our possibilities. that's all well and good, but our parents are too worryful and panicky, and retracted that when we got older. instead of still saying we can be great, they gave us advice where we didn't need, want, or invite it, and where it wouldn't help us at all. our parents didn't trust us to be able to do the thinge they gave us advice on without their advice. our parents succumbed to the public fear that all teens are angsty and can't be trusted, so we became angsty to show them that we can be trusted, but they refuse to admit they are wrong. the only reason we don't respect our parents' words is because they are too often wrong and pointless, so we don't know when to trust them or not. and that only makes them want to advise us more, and interfere more. and the country in general doesn't trust our age group, and doesn't want us to become great.

[iglak]

me personally:

i love advice when i ask for it, and i like advice when it's helpful. but sometimes people give advice in order to make others think they are smart, or smarter than the one they are giving advice to. i hate that. and i hate it when people give me advice to do something in the same way that i was going to do it, or was in the process of doing.

 

in my town (near San Francisco, California, USA), a lot of kids in my grade are depressed right now. from observations, and interactions with my parents, i've concluded that the main reason is an absence of trust from parents to kids. all our lives we've been taught that we will be something great someday, that there is no end to our possibilities. that's all well and good, but our parents are too worryful and panicky, and retracted that when we got older. instead of still saying we can be great, they gave us advice where we didn't need, want, or invite it, and where it wouldn't help us at all. our parents didn't trust us to be able to do the thinge they gave us advice on without their advice. our parents succumbed to the public fear that all teens are angsty and can't be trusted, so we became angsty to show them that we can be trusted, but they refuse to admit they are wrong. the only reason we don't respect our parents' words is because they are too often wrong and pointless, so we don't know when to trust them or not. and that only makes them want to advise us more, and interfere more. and the country in general doesn't trust our age group, and doesn't want us to become great.

[Ophiolite]

It's strangely comforting to know nothing has changed in forty years. (Or four thousand)

[Verusamore]

John ,

A good observation you made

I have found Japanese/Chinese to take criticism/advice worse than Americans

 

I would call that " lost in translation " thats why Asian people tend defend who they are in un-familiar cultures , because they overestimate the thought of a western person to be pessimistic towards how the asian guy sees himself ( as most Asians are not pessimists ).

 

There are other Asian guys that fit in and they seem to be pretty cool who take criticism well and give it just as good back but there are others who tend to be 'self-critical' (insecure,which was the point I was reffering to 2nd paragraph) on how they see themselves ,this is how conflict between advice and criticism are taken the same way .

 

In Monash university ,Victoria(AUS) ,an Asian guy went crazy who then pulled out a gun and started firing his gun at people is an example of what I can correlate your 'observation' to .This was because he had felt intimidated by his use vocabulary of the English language which in turn ended him to be the laughing stock of the class .

[YT2095]

alot of it`s to do with the methodolgy, HOW the "advice" is delivered, we all know that saying the same words but in different ways can be interpreted differently, tonality, place, context etc...

 

perhaps they`re conditioned differently or perhaps a little more Diplomatic?

 

here`s a quote and I forgot who said it: " if a diplomat says YES, he means Maybe, if he says Maybe he means No, and if he says NO, he aint a diplomat!"

[Verusamore]

Methodology is another thing which can help but you might as well get a degree in psychology to understand how that works .

 

They are a diplomatic people lol , I seen how diplomatic they can be just watch them play a game of marbles in primary school .

 

Liked the quote ,"No" tends to not be the right answer lol .

if a diplomat says YES, he means Maybe, if he says Maybe he means No, and if he says NO, he aint a diplomat!"

[Verusamore]

Mab , do you have anything else specific to know about ?