Windows Bashing 101

[mossoi]

Here's a guide to get you quickly on the road to proving that those sad Windows people have no idea about computers, whilst you have personally transcended to another layer of understanding and are truly l33t.

 

1. Remember, all Microsoft programs are bad, regardless of what they are designed to do - they all have security holes and crash any PC at least 3 times per day.

 

2. Windows will allow any virus less than 6 months old straight into your personal files immediately. Of course any other OS (especially Linux) can crush these puny attackers without a second glance. The fact that people don't bother writing viruses to attack other OS's is meaningless and should be dismissed should anybody use it as a defence for Windows.

 

3. Don't type M$ but always remark that it's not cool to use it any more. That way people know you've been against Microsoft from the beginning.

 

4. Dismiss the years and years of testing and improvement done by Microsoft on its various software. Any improvement are only implemented to desperately patch a gaping security hole or as a means to gain more personal information about you.

 

5. Any OS that releases a constant stream of betas has to be good. They're always developing it right? Forget that the last bug free version was 5 years ago, if you wanna stay in the fast lane you've got to put up with half finished applications and documentation that starts and ends with "Coming Soon".

 

6. Running ANYTHING in beta is cool. Period.

 

7. Any OS or application that requires you to edit a text file containing 1000 lines just to open it has to be better than anything that allows you to change settings via a silly little control panel or menu.

 

8. If the application needs to be launched from a command line with numerous /switches then it's cool and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

 

9. If the majority of people are quite happy using Windows that doesn't mean you should. They are just poor sheep who don't know any better.

 

10. Networking on Windows is rubbish. We all know that, don't we? It doesn't matter if you don't know your TCP from you DNS you'll sound like a true network admin by shouting the virtues of Linux networking.

 

11. The best applications have names that replace letters with numbers or similar sounding letters. After all hAx0rz do that and they can bring Microsoft to its knees if they want to.

 

12. It doesn't matter what age you are, don't let those old fools who have been using computers for longer than you've been alive tell you about the best software. They aren't keeping up with the times and have probably never hacked their teachers email like you did last semester.

 

13. Fabricate a brush with the law for Cybercrimes. Everybody respects somebody who tried to change the time on their ISP's server and girls love that sort of thing.

[Dave]

rofl

 

Still doesn't make me feel better about MS software though

[5614]

just a point of information: in recent surverys linux OS took up less than 1% of the global OS market, and that less than 1% was made up of mainly linux crazy enthusiasts... i think i just ran into some!

 

decent AVs and firewalls patch up most of the OS problems, although admitedly microsoft is full of holes, so is every OS, just that they are not exploited because they are not common.

my computer (XP home) never crashes.