Bad idea to reach out to random people on the internet

[A Guy]

This may come across as a pseudo intellectual rant, I wouldn't know. In any case, I'm not looking for pseudo intellectual answers. I just spent some time trying to be honest with myself, and I need to communicate these ideas to other people. I came to the science forums because I'm looking for studious, hardworking people. Physicists, doctors, engineers, I am jealous of you.

 

I’ve slowed my behavior to a halt. I’ve stopped my life in its tracks and I proceedthrough each day focusing on very few ideas. It’s because I am slowly starting to realize that my will is not leadingme in any path. I am stuck. And scared of the content I feel in myidleness. Should I not labor my mindwith details of the dense technical matrix of the biological universe? How do great minds balance work andleisure? Am I not capable of theirglory? Would I destroy myself inattempting to be great? I fear doing toolittle and wasting the circumstances of this privileged young man that fortunehas thrown together. I feel as though there are millions of peoplestruggling for food and shelter, flowing with vitality, who have the purity ofself, and the discipline to do what I find myself unable to. Here I find myself with no guidance. A lowly amalgam of stardust amid this chaoticuniverse, and there is no guidance for where to go, what to think, what todo. No one can answer life’s meaning andso how can I value one lived life against another. We all share the equal experience ofconsciousness, but who can tell you what to do with it? I am lost with what to do with myconsciousness. There is so much to knowand do, and I feel as though I waste my short time by not laboring for hoursevery day for the benefit of biology, philosophy, or music. The potential for what I could achieve inthose areas. And yet what will Imiss? Will I lose my sense of self bysacrificing it in the name of work?

 

 

[Ophiolite]

You are experiencing what seems to be the common lot of any reasonably intelligent teenager. About all that I can tell you is that in thirty years or so it won't seem all that important. Just do something that seems to make sense, doesn't harm anyone and brings you some measure of satisfaction.