Joatmon Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 (edited) my scattered thought of the day why didnt thee spare me from thou love and its poisonous effect why does thee still remain shrouded from my eyes i beg of thee quench my soul with thy healing touch show me thy mercy embrace me or release me but do not leave me shackled and tormented by thy memory by olala ^.^)/ I like the sentiments and the sense of poetry BUT:- thou = you (nominative) thee = you (objective) thy = your, yours (used before a consonant) thine = your, yours (used before a vowel) http://www.straightd...se-them-anymore IMO - second line should use "thy" Also fourth line should use "do" or "doest" instead of does (again IMO). Edited April 3, 2012 by Joatmon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala Posted April 3, 2012 Author Share Posted April 3, 2012 (edited) I like the sentiments and the sense of poetry BUT:- thou = you (nominative) thee = you (objective) thy = yours (used before a consonant) thine = yours (used before a vowel) http://www.straightd...se-them-anymore IMO - second line should use "thy" Also fourth line should use "do" or "doest" instead of does (again IMO). (_ _ )? Edited April 3, 2012 by Lala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joatmon Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 (_ _ )? It's just that I have a "thing" about correct usage of the English language. There are one or two other things like "i" should be "I" and "didnt" should be "didn't". However, please don't be put off because you do seem to have an imaginative and creative mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 A lot of English is about proper pronouns. A little English makes your balls stay where you want them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joatmon Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 A lot of English is about proper pronouns. A little English makes your balls stay where you want them. I'm not sure what you are saying. Are my suggestions incorrect or are you saying loose English can have beneficial effect in poetry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I'm not sure what you are saying. Sorry, double entendre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imatfaal Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I LOVE this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xittenn Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I LOVE this thread. Holy random thoguht batman! Last night I learned that my headaches that I thought were migraines, which I have suffered for the better part of all my life, are caused by sinus infections. My doctoer has prescribed me nasal spray . . . . that is all! I'm not sure what you are saying. Are my suggestions incorrect or are you saying loose English can have beneficial effect in poetry? Who is loose English and where do I meet them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joatmon Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Who is loose English and where do I meet them? If I were 40 years younger....................! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xittenn Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 My dress is too short for school . . . . the professors are staring at me . . > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 My dress is too short for school . . . . the professors are staring at me . . > Doesn't that show how smart they are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala Posted April 3, 2012 Author Share Posted April 3, 2012 if u could know 100% that we are not alone would u want to know? or do u think its better not to know and if so plz say why By olala ^.^)/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xittenn Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I hear they eat brains . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joatmon Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I have heard they are green. They would look dead even though they are alive. This would frighten the children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 They would not eat them in their ships, they would not eat them with some chips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joatmon Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 (edited) They would not eat them in their ships, they would not eat them with some chips. Maybe not with chips, But cookies and cheese nips Washed down with wine and beer Would really make them cheer. Edited April 4, 2012 by Joatmon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phi for All Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 They do not like green brains with beer, they do not like them Sam, I fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joatmon Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 (edited) They do not like green brains with beer, they do not like them Sam, I fear. If they want to join this forum, Be accepted in the expert's quorum, Brains and beer with cheesy nips Is essential on their trips. I'm retired Phi - What's your excuse? Edited April 4, 2012 by Joatmon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xittenn Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) I like green bears with beer while they watch their football--especially ones named Sam . . . . Edited April 5, 2012 by Xittenn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) my scattered thought of the day with only the cloak of night wrapped around my body i dive into the dark lakes of my mind longing to sink to the depths of your soul for i am but an angel among many who at this hour is seeking the pleasure of opening my wings in the void By Olala ^.^)/ Edited April 5, 2012 by Lala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPanic Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 They do not like green brains with beer, they do not like them Sam, I fear. Weird. The Welsh do. The logical conclusion is that the Welsh are, contrary to popular belief, apparently not aliens. Sorry to be off topic by being on a topic. In this thread, you're only on topic when you're not. But I am. So, I am sorry. Also, if that makes sense, then I apologise some more. Because you're not supposed to make sense in this thread, and instead write down whatever goes on inside your head. I'm not sure I do make sense, but just in case, let's make sure I don't. Get it? No? Good. Brains. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joatmon Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Keep a tin handy - it might save your life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 my scattered thought of the day you'll be my mind i'll be your heart and together our flaws will mirror perfection By Olala ^.^)/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joatmon Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) Great granddaughter (nearly 3 years old) came to visit and demanded "Wheels on the bus - Incy wincy spider" She climbed onto my lap while I ran up my laptop. While we were waiting she buried her face in my shirt, lifted her head and said "Great Granddad you smell!" As I had come out of the shower shortly before her visit I asked confidently "Do I smell nice?" to which she answered "No!" Ah well, you can't win them all! Edited April 8, 2012 by Joatmon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) my scattered thought of the day thee knows me as the still waters of serenity to define my embodiment is to take a step and walk among those truly deemed worthy in thine eyes the joyful tears of heaven found its place in all but thy own hollow ground this is why what was to rise within could never be set in motion for thy unraveling truth now hangs like a distant painting in a gated vast hall perpetually touched by only thy own sworn greed By Olala ^.^)/ Edited April 11, 2012 by Lala Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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