scattered thoguhts

[Joatmon]

my scattered thought of the day

 

why didnt thee spare me from

 

thou love

 

and its poisonous effect

 

why does thee still remain

 

shrouded from my eyes

 

i beg of thee

 

quench my soul

 

with thy healing touch

 

show me thy mercy

 

embrace me or release me

 

but do not leave me

 

shackled and tormented

 

by thy memory

 

by olala ^.^)/

I like the sentiments and the sense of poetry BUT:-

thou = you (nominative)

thee = you (objective)

thy = your, yours (used before a consonant)

thine = your, yours (used before a vowel)

 

http://www.straightd...se-them-anymore

 

IMO - second line should use "thy"

Also fourth line should use "do" or "doest" instead of does (again IMO).

Edited April 3, 2012 by Joatmon

[Lala]

I like the sentiments and the sense of poetry BUT:-

thou = you (nominative)

thee = you (objective)

thy = yours (used before a consonant)

thine = yours (used before a vowel)

 

http://www.straightd...se-them-anymore

 

IMO - second line should use "thy"

Also fourth line should use "do" or "doest" instead of does (again IMO).

 

(_ _ )?

Edited April 3, 2012 by Lala

[Joatmon]

(_ _ )?

It's just that I have a "thing" about correct usage of the English language. There are one or two other things like "i" should be "I" and "didnt" should be "didn't". However, please don't be put off because you do seem to have an imaginative and creative mind.

 

[Phi for All]

A lot of English is about proper pronouns. A little English makes your balls stay where you want them.

[Joatmon]

A lot of English is about proper pronouns. A little English makes your balls stay where you want them.

 

I'm not sure what you are saying. Are my suggestions incorrect or are you saying loose English can have beneficial effect in poetry?

[Phi for All]

I'm not sure what you are saying.

Sorry, double entendre.

[imatfaal]

I LOVE this thread.

[Xittenn]

I LOVE this thread.

 

Holy random thoguht batman!

 

Last night I learned that my headaches that I thought were migraines, which I have suffered for the better part of all my life, are caused by sinus infections. My doctoer has prescribed me nasal spray . . . . that is all!

 

I'm not sure what you are saying. Are my suggestions incorrect or are you saying loose English can have beneficial effect in poetry?

 

Who is loose English and where do I meet them?

[Joatmon]

 

Who is loose English and where do I meet them?

 

If I were 40 years younger....................!

[Xittenn]

My dress is too short for school . . . . the professors are staring at me . . >

[Phi for All]

My dress is too short for school . . . . the professors are staring at me . . >

Doesn't that show how smart they are?

[Lala]

if u could know 100%

that we are not alone

would u want to know?

or do u think its better not to know

and if so plz say why

 

 

 

By olala ^.^)/

[Xittenn]

I hear they eat brains . . .

[Joatmon]

I have heard they are green. They would look dead even though they are alive. This would frighten the children.

[Phi for All]

They would not eat them in their ships, they would not eat them with some chips.

[Joatmon]

They would not eat them in their ships, they would not eat them with some chips.

Maybe not with chips,

But cookies and cheese nips

Washed down with wine and beer

Would really make them cheer.

Edited April 4, 2012 by Joatmon

[Phi for All]

They do not like green brains with beer, they do not like them Sam, I fear.

[Joatmon]

They do not like green brains with beer, they do not like them Sam, I fear.

 

 

If they want to join this forum,

Be accepted in the expert's quorum,

Brains and beer with cheesy nips

Is essential on their trips.

 

I'm retired Phi - What's your excuse?

 

 

Edited April 4, 2012 by Joatmon

[Xittenn]

I like green bears with beer while they watch their football--especially ones named Sam . . . .

Edited April 5, 2012 by Xittenn

[Lala]

my scattered thought of the day

 

with only the cloak of night

 

wrapped around my body

 

i dive into the dark lakes

 

of my mind

 

longing to sink

 

to the depths of your soul

 

for i am

 

but an angel

 

among many

 

who at this hour

 

is seeking the pleasure

 

of opening my wings

 

in the void

 

By Olala ^.^)/

Edited April 5, 2012 by Lala

[CaptainPanic]

They do not like green brains with beer, they do not like them Sam, I fear.

Weird. The Welsh do.

 

 

The logical conclusion is that the Welsh are, contrary to popular belief, apparently not aliens.

 

 

Sorry to be off topic by being on a topic. In this thread, you're only on topic when you're not. But I am. So, I am sorry.

Also, if that makes sense, then I apologise some more. Because you're not supposed to make sense in this thread, and instead write down whatever goes on inside your head. I'm not sure I do make sense, but just in case, let's make sure I don't. Get it? No? Good.

 

Brains.

[Joatmon]

Keep a tin handy - it might save your life!

[Lala]

my scattered thought of the day

 

you'll be my mind

 

i'll be your heart

 

and together

 

our flaws

 

will mirror

 

perfection

 

By Olala ^.^)/

[Joatmon]

Great granddaughter (nearly 3 years old) came to visit and demanded "Wheels on the bus - Incy wincy spider"

She climbed onto my lap while I ran up my laptop.

While we were waiting she buried her face in my shirt, lifted her head and said "Great Granddad you smell!"

As I had come out of the shower shortly before her visit I asked confidently "Do I smell nice?" to which she answered "No!"

Ah well, you can't win them all!

Edited April 8, 2012 by Joatmon

[Lala]

my scattered thought of the day

 

thee knows me

 

as the still waters of serenity

 

to define my embodiment

 

is to take a step

 

and walk among those

 

truly deemed worthy

 

in thine eyes

 

the joyful tears of heaven

 

found its place in all

 

but thy own hollow ground

 

this is why

 

what was to rise within

 

could never be set in motion

 

for thy unraveling truth

 

now hangs

 

like a distant painting

 

in a gated vast hall

 

perpetually touched

 

by only thy own

 

sworn greed

 

By Olala ^.^)/

Edited April 11, 2012 by Lala