"Genderlessness" -- N E 1 feel this way?

[Green Xenon]

Hi:

 

I've known for a long time that I'm not part of any gender. I'm *not* part of any of the following groups:

 

1. Male

2. Female

3. Intersex

4. Hermaphrodite

 

However, I'm trapped in a body that society defines as "male". Despite my genderlessness, I do NOT at all want to go through any gender-related surgery.

 

I have the following strong beliefs:

 

1. There is more to gender than simply "male" or "female" -- [for example I don't feel like I'm male or female]. There are hermaphrodites, non-gendered persons [like me], intersexed, etc.

 

2. Genitalia does not determine gender [i maybe male "down there", but my gender is anything other than male, female, or anything in between].

 

3. Gender-identity does not determine sexual-orientation [my lack of masculine features does not make me attracted to men].

 

Despite being a genderless person who is "pubically-male", I'm sexually-interested in women only. I prefer women who are at least 31. The following is un-related to the topic of the thread but I'll discuss anyway:

 

1. Why am I attracted to women who are 31+?

 

Extended adolescence can last up to 30 years of age. For good measure, I add an extra year.

 

2. Doesn't adulthood start at the magic age of 18?

 

Absolutely, and I've shown agreement to this in many of my other threads. However, as in the answer to #1, the body can -- and often does -- continue to develop even after 18.

 

Ok, back to the topic of genderlessness.

 

Society has often criticized me as being "effeminate" due to my lack of masculinity. I agree with the latter but not the former. I'm may the least-manly of what society considered to be "men" -- in fact I'm completely void of any virility. However, I'm not at all effeminate. There is nothing about me that is feminine. I may not be male but I'm definitely not female, either, nor am I anything in between.

 

 

Regards,

 

GX

Edited April 4, 2012 by Green Xenon

[Appolinaria]

Green Xenon- gender identity, sexual attraction, etc. are very complicated things. It's not just, you're a man, you feel like a man, and you like women. Every person is different and it's much more than that.

 

You aren't strange, abnormal or weird.

[Xittenn]

I have to agree with Appolinaria and must add that you are not alone. I have met a couple of proclaimed asexual individuals one has proven life long. We refer to her as she because she is a genetic female but as you say she feels very disengendered; if there was another pronoun to use we probably would but 'it' doesn't seem very polite. You seem very concerned about the issue and I am wondering if it is in fact because you feel alone in your situation? Many persons might not proclaim their being disengendered but if you look at the lives of many they often live very non-sexual lives--points to some of the members here (a little humour.) Maybe you could start a community group for disengendered persons to meet and learn about how as individuals you express yourself in life, or join one if it already exists.

[Joatmon]

I tend to agree with Appolinaria. You say you are "male down there" and are sexually attracted to mature women. You don't seem to be sexually attracted to men of any age. This does not seem to match "void of any virility". Perhaps you suffered ridicule at the hands of a thoughtless immature girl at some time and you find mature women more stable and understanding. Perhaps you have a hormone imbalance that inhibits your libido. Perhaps you have an exaggerated opinion of your unattractiveness to women. After all the world is full of ordinary looking people. All I can say is if I felt like you I would want to have me and my past examined to see if a reason can be found for my perceived problems.

Edited April 4, 2012 by Joatmon

[Green Xenon]

Green Xenon- gender identity, sexual attraction, etc. are very complicated things. It's not just, you're a man, you feel like a man, and you like women. Every person is different and it's much more than that.

 

You aren't strange, abnormal or weird.

 

Thanks for your understanding.

 

You seem very concerned about the issue and I am wondering if it is in fact because you feel alone in your situation?

 

I don't feel alone. Actually, I believe there is a significant portion of the human population who are non-gendered "at heart". However, the society-of-humans, being the evil and cold-hearted society it is, oppresses these innocent helpless individuals out of existence.

 

You say you are "male down there" and are sexually attracted to mature women. You don't seem to be sexually attracted to men of any age. This does not seem to match "void of any virility".

 

By, "lack of virility", I mean I possess the following characteristics that are generally considered "unmasculine":

 

1. High-pitched voice

2. Extreme sensitivity to tactile discomfort [such as pain, itching, stickiness (such as that caused by syrup), tickling, uncomfortable clothing, etc.] as well as olfactory discomfort [such as "morning" breath]

3. Extreme emotional sensitivity to aversive societal norms [such what I perceive as "gender-discrimination against boy-children"]

4. Short body height

5. Lack of muscle size

6. Lack of muscle strength

7. Soft skin

 

Perhaps you suffered ridicule at the hands of a thoughtless immature girl at some time and you find mature women more stable and understanding.

 

As I grew up I noticed myself being attracted to my teachers as opposed to classmates. It has to do with the physical body of a completely-developed woman vs. that of a younger female.

[MonDie]

I feel somewhat disengendered too, but I look very masculine. Sometimes my curious glances are misinterpreted as mean looks. People sometimes think I'm walking toward them angrily when I'm really just walking. I don't believe I could ever commit an act of passionate rage against anyone except one person in my life. Occasionally, I will wear clothes that are very bright and gender neutral, but they don't match as well with my current body as they would have with my innocent childhood body.

Edited April 5, 2012 by Mondays Assignment: Die

[immortal]

Perhaps you suffered ridicule at the hands of a thoughtless immature girl at some time and you find mature women more stable and understanding.

 

That's the first thought that comes to anyone's mind, isn't it.

[dimreepr]

I’m sorry if I offend but I’m merely playing devil’s advocate. Their seems to be a lot of contradiction in this post, you say you’re a “non gendered person” for me this must, literally, mean no sexual organs.

 

 

2. Genitalia does not determine gender [i maybe male "down there", but my gender is anything other than male, female, or anything in between].

 

 

I’m sorry but it most definitely does determine gender, maybe not how you feel, but it’s fundamental to the definition.

 

 

3. Gender-identity does not determine sexual-orientation [my lack of masculine features does not make me attracted to men].

 

 

Yet you are attracted to females (I won’t go into the age issue, though Freud would fill his boots), a clear sexual (and from the procreation point of view, normal.) orientation and another, fundamental, example of being male. I agree “effeminate” isn’t only due to a lack of masculinity. There is of course a scale of masculinity that continues into femininity (A “U” shaped graph), you seem to occupy the fuzzy area at the centre of the scale however it does strike me that you’re mostly definitely on the male side of the line.

 

I would like to add my sympathy if you were bullied as a result of your confusion, although from your first reply in this thread, I sense you weren’t...