Pros and cons of having pre-marital sex?

[Xittenn]

I hate it when I'm unknowingly involved in extramarital sex . . . . unless the other spouse is knowingly OK with it . . . I'm not entirely sure how I fell about video taping it for them though :/

[Joatmon]

Nope, no extra-marital sex was done or implied... 36 years now....

 

Sorry for my comment. I took it from #20 that you were still having pre-marital sex and tried to make sense of your statement in view of my understanding of pre-marital (I admit I should have found my interpretation of your comment strange for a married man).

 

Please accept my apologies. I hope I haven't caused any upset.

Edited May 27, 2012 by Joatmon

[Moontanman]

Sorry for my comment. I took it from #20 that you were still having pre-marital sex and tried to make sense of your statement in view of my understanding of pre-marital (I admit I should have found my interpretation of your comment strange for a married man).

 

Please accept my apologies. I hope I haven't caused any upset.

 

 

No problem but its interesting that you took role playing to mean extra marital. Role playing with in marriage is quite a bit of fun.

[Joatmon]

No problem but its interesting that you took role playing to mean extra marital. Role playing with in marriage is quite a bit of fun.

I'm sure you would approve of my wife in a nurse's uniform - come to think of it, so would I!

 

I really must get off this topic before I get into any more trouble!

Edited May 27, 2012 by Joatmon

[Moontanman]

I'm sure you would approve of my wife in a nurse's uniform - come to think of it, so would I!

 

 

Heh heh heh , I am sure i would, I have to admit I never stopped looking but then I don't require my wife to wear blinders either. I never really thought about the nurse angle we are more D/s. Having a good sex life is important to marriage lasting a long time and it does go to the heart of premarital sex. Premarital sex is a double edged sword, it can produce a strong relationship if the two of you know what each other like in sex and you both approve before marriage but people who do sleep around routinely seem to me to have more difficulty maintaining a exclusive relationship in marriage.

[ewmon]

people who do sleep around routinely seem to me to have more difficulty maintaining a exclusive relationship in marriage.

The word routinely got me thinking. Some people have a low threshold for sex; whereas, if a person requires a well-examined, well-defined, well-accepted, stable, committed relationship before sex, then it's a rather high threshold. And then there's trying out sex during the engagement, which is technically pre-marital, but not "pre-committal". So, I'm thinking the more appropriate metric is the shades-of-gray "level of committal" rather than the black-and-white marital/pre-marital.

[Moontanman]

The word routinely got me thinking. Some people have a low threshold for sex; whereas, if a person requires a well-examined, well-defined, well-accepted, stable, committed relationship before sex, then it's a rather high threshold. And then there's trying out sex during the engagement, which is technically pre-marital, but not "pre-committal". So, I'm thinking the more appropriate metric is the shades-of-gray "level of committal" rather than the black-and-white marital/pre-marital.

 

 

I think I can go with that metric...

[Xittenn]

Just out of curiosity, does anyone else orgasm as the clippers pass by the right ear @ 3:20+ in

? I only bring it up because it is this very peculiar sensation that drove me to my sexual activities, which are quite in contrast with my desire to marry and find happiness in love and long lasting relations.

[Appolinaria]

In all honesty, get it out of your system. You won't be this pervert who's always wondering. Sex is great and all, but finding someone who stimulates you in other ways is much more satisfying, IMO. You'll be able to appreciate someone for all the right reasons. You won't make the mistake of being blinded by chemistry and sexual attraction. That's not what life is about.

 

Also, the bleeding to death thing is just ridiculous. Calm down.

[Joatmon]

In all honesty, get it out of your system. You won't be this pervert who's always wondering. Sex is great and all, but finding someone who stimulates you in other ways is much more satisfying, IMO. You'll be able to appreciate someone for all the right reasons. You won't make the mistake of being blinded by chemistry and sexual attraction. That's not what life is about.

 

Also, the bleeding to death thing is just ridiculous. Calm down.

You seem to be suggesting that young men between the onset of puberty and their first full sexual experience are perverts for wondering what it will be like. IMO it is very natural. Your answer to this "perversion" seems to be "get yourself a quick shag". I cannot imagine any other way of getting it out of your system. Finally, again IMO, Starting by being physically attracted to someone is very normal. Sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship, but it plays an important part in most relationships. It strengthens the bond between two people.

 

"Sexual intercourse can play a strong role in human bonding, often being used solely for pleasure and leading to stronger emotional bonds.^[6] Non-penetrative sex (for example, non-penetrative cunnilingus) has been referred to as "outercourse",^{[7][8][9][10]} but may also be among the sexual acts contributing to human bonding and considered intercourse. The term sex can be taken to mean any mutual "

 

http://en.wikipedia....ual_intercourse

Edited May 28, 2012 by Joatmon

[Appolinaria]

I was preoccupied with sex but don't really care about it now and it's made me happier.

 

If you think sex is a key part of a relationship, good for you. Whatever makes you happy.

[doG]

I was preoccupied with sex but don't really care about it now and it's made me happier.

 

If you think sex is a key part of a relationship, good for you. Whatever makes you happy.

To some extent I see that as self centered since it doesn't account for your partner's needs/desires, it's not so simple as whatever makes you happy. If you are in a relationship with someone that needs that as a key part of their relationship with you then your relationship as a whole will be happier when each of you as individuals is happier. If either has a void in their happiness then your relationship will have a void in it as well. For any individual with a high libido, sex will be a key part of their relationship with another.

[Appolinaria]

I'm being self centered?

You will be sexually attracted to many people in your lifetime. Sexual release isn't hard to accomplish yourself. What would something so insignificant have to do with who I choose to share my entire life with? Sexual partners are dime a dozen. Partners you really respect and love, aren't. And you might not have sexual attraction to someone you love. That's fine by me. That's not important in my life.

[iNow]

The point you seem to be missing is that just because it seems insignificant to you doesn't mean it's insignificant to your partner, and a relationship is about sharing and compromising on these needs, not one side making unilateral decisions by fiat.

[Appolinaria]

The point you seem to be missing is that just because it seems significant to you doesn't mean it's significant to your partner, and a relationship is about sharing and compromising on these needs, not one side making unilateral decisions by fiat.

[Xittenn]

Or both partners could be on the same page . . . . it's not entirely unheard of . . . . . maybe?

[iNow]

The point you seem to be missing is that just because it seems significant to you doesn't mean it's significant to your partner

What in the world gave you the impression that I was missing that point, especially since it was the implicit reciprocal of what I said.