My son Looks like my wife's BROTHER

[johny11]

Hy Guys,

My son looks exactly like my wifes brother! He is only 2 weeks old. The pictures of my wifes brother look exactly the same when he was 2 weeks old! I can't see a single difference!

The think is that I hate him! I can't stop thinking about this as he has always been mummies little boy getting everything he asked for. He never talks to me and doesn't like me!

Do you think that he will look like him when he gets older?!

Is it genetically possible for my son to look exactly like his uncle? I wouldn't be surprised if he looked like a grandad but how can my girlfriend carry a genetic information of her brother?

I am pretty pissed off that he hasn't got my looks or looks of my wife and has looks of that asshole!

Thanks sharing of your thoughts!

[Moontanman]

It's quite possible that your son will look like your brother in law. It's probable that your son will change in appearance as he grows, does your wife look like her brother, what did she look like as a baby? Who your son looks like will not be as important as how he is raised...

[iNow]

I think it's unreasonable of you to have this feeling toward your new son merely because the genes from your wife's bloodline are more prominently impacting his expressed physiology at this early age. Nobody has any idea what he will look like later, definitely not us random strangers on an internet forum. After he goes through puberty, his bone structure will change quite a bit, so there's still hope should you find him so hideous and repulsive during his adolescence due to your hatred for your brother in law.

Edited September 18, 2012 by iNow

[dmaiski]

2 weeks old... most babies look the same till they are 1 years old

relay nothing to worry about

 

also don’t bully children, they will hate you for it and turn out just how you expect them to.

if you expect your child to be a genius, they will be

if you expect them to be an evil shit they will be

 

doesn’t mean that the genius cant be an evil shit inside, just the child will show you the fasade that you expect of them

 

 

[Janus]

I used to look a lot like my Uncle on my mother's side as a child, but as I aged we looked less and less alike. Though according to my Mom we were still alike in other ways such as mannerisms and the sound of our laugh. (There were times when she heard me laugh from another room and wouldn't sworn that it was him.)

[ajb]

I think it's unreasonable of you to have this feeling toward your new son...

 

True, but we all feel irrational and unreasonable things from time to time that we just cannot explain. The question is what to do about it.

 

I won't say too much here, but I do sympathise. Just wait and give the kid a chance. The important thing is your child, you will have deal with whatever he looks like.

[johny11]

2 weeks old... most babies look the same till they are 1 years old

relay nothing to worry about

 

also don't bully children, they will hate you for it and turn out just how you expect them to.

if you expect your child to be a genius, they will be

if you expect them to be an evil shit they will be

 

doesn't mean that the genius cant be an evil shit inside, just the child will show you the fasade that you expect of them

 

 

 

You would be surprised if you saw his picture.... my son looks like his twin brother!

I am not saying that my brother in law is stupid. He is smart but what an asshole! The thing is that they all love him and treat him as a god. He even refused to say happy birthday to his mum this year and she still buys him anything he asks for. They are so proud that he looks like him and I am so pissed off! I wouldn't mind if I liked my brother in law but I hate him! He wanted my wife to brake up with me and was making stupid comments about me. Now he will be making comments about my son. I swear that he will get a smack if he says something!

I agree that you can change them in some way but they will inherit a lot of things from my wife's family side. (just my own experience)

 

It's quite possible that your son will look like your brother in law. It's probable that your son will change in appearance as he grows, does your wife look like her brother, what did she look like as a baby? Who your son looks like will not be as important as how he is raised...

 

He doesn't look like my wife when she was a baby but there are some similarities between my wife and her brother. I agree that their bone structure will probably change as they grow. My wife looked like a twin sister of her mum when she was 13 years old. She showed me pictures of her mum and her on a portrait photo and I couldn't guess on which picture was my wife.

 

True, but we all feel irrational and unreasonable things from time to time that we just cannot explain. The question is what to do about it.

 

I won't say too much here, but I do sympathise. Just wait and give the kid a chance. The important thing is your child, you will have deal with whatever he looks like.

 

You are right. It feels so strange and I would never think that I would ever feel this way. I love him but my love towards him completely changed since I saw those pictures. I can't explain why is it happening. My in-laws are acting as if the baby was theirs. Her mum would move into our house right away if she could and she would spoil him exactly like her son. That is never going happen. I have told them already "if they spoil him they will not be allowed to see him"!

 

 

 

[Iggy]

You would be surprised if you saw his picture.... my son looks like his twin brother!

At two weeks your son might look like your brother in law, but in a year your brother in law would look like your son and that would feel very different. When your son is less new and fills up your life he will become the standard by which other things are compared.

 

In other words, it's far more unsettling to think "my son looks like an asshole" than it is to think "that asshole looks like my son" and at worst time will change your perspective along those lines.

Edited September 19, 2012 by Iggy

[CaptainPanic]

Go see a psychiatrist. Sounds like your issues go a little deeper than just a dislike of your brother in law.

[dmaiski]

mmmm it tastes like neurosis

[johny11]

mmmm it tastes like neurosis

I have just checked sings of neurosis on Wikipedia and that's what it is

I have been diagnosed with some mental disorder..... thanks lol

[CaptainPanic]

Please just go see a professional. Even though I love this forum, I wouldn't trust us with such an important thing.

[Phi for All]

I am not saying that my brother in law is stupid. He is smart but what an asshole! The thing is that they all love him and treat him as a god. He even refused to say happy birthday to his mum this year and she still buys him anything he asks for. They are so proud that he looks like him and I am so pissed off! I wouldn't mind if I liked my brother in law but I hate him! He wanted my wife to brake up with me and was making stupid comments about me. Now he will be making comments about my son. I swear that he will get a smack if he says something!

One of the bad aspects of strong emotions is that they tend to make us filter people's actions. People we love too much can do no wrong, and people we hate can't do anything right.

 

You didn't start out hating your brother-in-law, and you didn't instantly start hating him. Something started it, and when you found out he wanted his sister to break up with you it just added to the way you felt about him. At a certain point, you stopped seeing what everyone else sees in him and just started counting the things he did wrong. Now it's so bad you jump on him for not saying Happy Birthday to his mom (which really isn't your business at all), and you've even started anticipating his bad actions and threatening violence for something he hasn't done yet!

 

Check out this link to Confirmation Bias. Then, as others have suggested, you might want to go see a professional about your feelings. If not for you, do it for your son. The worst thing would be to let your feelings for someone else affect your relationship with your boy.

[johny11]

Please just go see a professional. Even though I love this forum, I wouldn't trust us with such an important thing.

 

I don't think that I need any help...... it wouldn't work for me as I don't take these people very seriously. I will melt down when he looks at me anyway

 

 

[Phi for All]

The think is that I hate him! I can't stop thinking about this as he has always been mummies little boy getting everything he asked for.

 

*

 

I am pretty pissed off that he hasn't got my looks or looks of my wife and has looks of that asshole!

He is smart but what an asshole!

 

*

 

They are so proud that he looks like him and I am so pissed off! I wouldn't mind if I liked my brother in law but I hate him!

 

*

 

I love him but my love towards him completely changed since I saw those pictures. I can't explain why is it happening.

I don't think that I need any help...... it wouldn't work for me as I don't take these people very seriously.

Oh well then, you had me completely fooled. I thought you took them seriously enough to join a science forum to ask for some advice.

 

I will melt down when he looks at me anyway

Do you mean "melt" or was that a parapraxis?

[Badcompany]

Hey I just wanna say your wife has a repeating bloodline like for example your supposed to resemble one of your parents with the stronger genes. Your wife and her brother probably look-a-like, she resembles her mother while her brother looks like the male version of your mom (with some characteristics of your father). So yeah that's a thing and he'll probably look like your brother in law in the comming years or changes depends on whose genes is better.

 

Hope this helps!

[Ophiolite]

johnny11, your son has a great deal of physical growing up to do before you will be able to tell who he will look like. On the other hand, you appear to have even more mental and emotional growing up to do before you can be a fit father for the boy. Time is short. I suggest you start now. A good first step would be to accept that, while you may not like your brother in law, your wife and inlaws do. You won't change them. You ae the one who needs to change.

[Moontanman]

johnny11, your son has a great deal of physical growing up to do before you will be able to tell who he will look like. On the other hand, you appear to have even more mental and emotional growing up to do before you can be a fit father for the boy. Time is short. I suggest you start now. A good first step would be to accept that, while you may not like your brother in law, your wife and inlaws do. You won't change them. You ae the one who needs to change.

 

 

In the quant vernacular of my particular area of the US... I heard that!

[mississippichem]

In the quant vernacular of my particular area of the US... I heard that!

 

Small correction:

 

I-hurrrdat

 

Glad I could be of assistance.

[Moontanman]

Small correction:

 

I-hurrrdat

 

Glad I could be of assistance.

 

 

You got dat right...