Stupidest Criminal...

[Guest matt81]

Nothing is funnier than a stupid criminal, right?

 

There was a case where a burglar fell asleep on the bed, in the house,

with the couple whose house he was robbing. It sounds crazy, but it's a

true story. The folks at The Smoking Gun are having a funny award for

this year's "Stupidest Criminal", so I thought to start a thread here

to see if there were any good stories out there that we can submit to

their editors (long-shot but hey, you never know!!) In case you want to

check it out the show (it's called The Smoking Gun Year End Special),

it's going to air next Thursday night, I believe at 10pm. These guys

can be pretty hilarious so it's worth taping in case you aren't going

to be home.

 

Matt

[Gilded]

It's amazing how only Americans or Brittish (mostly Sir Alex Ferguson though) commit funny crimes.

[Lance]

There were these guys who ran one of those bank trucks of the road. I think it had like 30 million in it. Anyway, they got torches out to open it and ended up lighting the bills on fire. So they ran away. It turns out only 14 million burned. The rest was still in the truck by the side of the road when the authorities got to it.

 

I don’t remember the story exactly so I just made the numbers up.

[Sayonara]

"Most stupid", not "stupidest".

[YT2095]

one of the Funniest scenes caught on cam was a bank robber in the UK, he walks in, robs the bank then run to the front door and it won`t open!

 

Shock Horror! so he pushes and kicks and rams it and everything he can think of!

 

never noticing that the door actualy said on it "PULL to Open" !

and no it wasn`t locked either, as another customer came in while he was gathering his breath for his next attack on the door

 

he did get out then but was caught moments later

[Gilded]

"'Most stupid', not 'stupidest'."

 

Ayiee! Run for the hills and load yer muskets, thar be grammar police about!

 

And for the funny crimes, found a funny one from Darwin Awards (quite old though):

 

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1988-03.html

 

Robbing a gun store alone that's full of customers and has a policeman inside is not clever. Quite sad for the robber though.

[JohnB]

It's amazing how only Americans or Brittish (mostly Sir Alex Ferguson though) commit funny crimes.

 

Gilded, that is both offensive and untrue. Australian criminals are just as capable as their overseas counterparts when it comes to being complete bloody idiots.

 

To prove my point;

 

Some years 7 or 8 years ago, my local Doctor's Clinic was robbed, the criminal demanding cash. As it was around 7 pm the Dr. told him that the cash had been banked, but the Dr. would write him a cash cheque. The crim was told that to cash the cheque he would have to present it at the local Westpac bank at 9 the next morning.

 

The crim was surprised the next morning to find he was arrested by some highly amused coppers.

 

So, when it comes to the "Stupid Stakes", I submit that we Aussies can indeed hold our own with the dumbest the world has to offer.

[TimeTraveler]

Cops get a report of someone in the neighborhood growing marijuana, so they go to the guys house. He was an older gentleman probably in his 50's or 60's, long scraggly beard that reminded of ZZtop.

 

Anyways the cops ask him if he is a cultivator, he replies no sir, then the cops show their warrant and begin to search the house, the guy stands there looking confused, Anyways the cops search the house and find a room full of pot plants and proceed to arrest the guy. The cop askes, I thought you said you were not a cultivator, the guy replied, I am no cultivator I am a presbyterian!

 

Oh and another one, this one takes the cake. My wifes best friend is a dispatcher for our local police department so I hear some of the "most stupid" things ever. But this by far is the best:

 

The police chief for a town just outside the one I live in (small town population less than 10k) gets a call. When he answers it he nobody responds but he can hear in the background two voices, so he proceeds to listen to the conversation, this goes on for about 10 minutes then the two on the other end begin to talk about a drug deal.

 

So now the police chief relizes he is listening to a drug deal, but he has no idea where the people are, who they are or how to bust them. Then all of the sudden in the background he hears "Welcome to Mcdonalds may I take your order". Since there are Mcdonalds everywhere and he has no idea where this call is coming from, his only choice is to dispatch an officer to the only Mcdonalds in town and hope that this is where the call is coming from.

 

When the patrol car reaches the Mcdonalds there are many cars in line and he has no idea which one it is, the police chief tells him to pick one that looks "suspect" and follow it. As soon as the patrol car pulls behind the car he picks the police chief hears on the line the original call is on "Oh shit there is a cop behind me". The police chief knows instantly his deputy has the right car, they pull the guys over and bust them. While busting them the deputy tells him everything they know about the drug deal, the guy responds "how do you know all that" The deputy reaches into the suspects pocket and pulls out his cell phone and shows the suspect" The cop says, you have been talking to the police chief for the last 30 minutes about your plans!

 

So then a couple days later I find out that how that happened was the guy had called the police station earlier (not sure why) and when he put his phone back in his pocket the redial button must have been pushed.

[ydoaPs]

"'Most stupid'' date=' not 'stupidest'."

 

Ayiee! Run for the hills and load yer muskets, thar be grammar police about!

 

[/quote']

 

[sarcasm]he isn't the grammar police. if you remember correctly, he doesn't just do grammar. the more correct term is SPAG police.[/sarcasm]

[Glider]

Some years ago, there was a faulty batch of synthetic drugs released onto the streets. This substance had the unfortunate side effect of destroying dopaminergic cells in the substantia nigra, which resulted in severe Parkinsonian syndrome which presented as 'freezing' in the same way as those people in the film "Awakenings" (the one with Robin Williams playing Oliver Sacks).

 

Anyway, they found that L-Dopa 'awoke' these patients, but only for a while, and the periods of awakenings got shorter over time until the required dose was to high to be given safely, at which point the patients reverted to their 'frozen' state permanently.

 

During the active period of therapy (whilst the drug was effective), these people would be more or less normal, with normal mobility, and on one such occasion, a particular patient, being an addict, 'reverted to type' and left the hospital with the intent of burgling a house so he could buy some drugs.

 

He selected his target and broke in. Unfortunately, a neighbour heard him and called the police. It took the police some time to arrive, but when they eventually did, they found the house empty. When they searched around the premises, they had a look in the back garden. There they found the burgler, with his right arm and right leg hooked over the fence, where he had been hanging, completely frozen, for around half an hour.

 

Needless to say, he did not resist arrest, but he couldn't be read his rights or answer any questions until he had recieved another dose of L-Dopa.

[Verusamore]

Good one ,btw does L'Dopa require the patients consent ?

[coquina]

Well - there was the case of the local guy who robbed a bank and wrote the note demanding money on the back of his paycheck stub.

 

Glider - I have seen bradykinesis in lack of action. My mother in law had Parkinson's. One morning we awoke to find her standing in the middle of the living room floor. Not only could she not walk, she couldn't call for help. To make matters worse, she had been eating a cracker and could neither swallow it or spit it out.

[Glider]

Good one ,btw does L'Dopa require the patients consent ?

Yeah, that's a tricky one. The administration of any drug requires patient consent, but in these cases it's not possible to obtain it. I suppose you just have to work out the patient's probable preference; to remain frozen, or to 'wake up'.

 

coquina: Yes, Parkinson's is a strange disease. The ability to move remains largely unaffected. It's the ability to initiate movement that suffers. Many Parkinsons' patients have to learn 'tricks' to start walking, like pretending there's an obstacle in front of them that they have to step over. Once they take that first step, they can walk for a way.

[coquina]

Glider - I know. When we were there, we would put a yardstick on the floor and tell her to step over it, and she would.