w0rld Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Can you help a high scholler out? Okay, here's the deal: I like this girl. She's a senior, and I'm a freshman. I don't know if she likes me back. I don't really know if she has a boyfriend or not. Her facebook says no, but I figure she does. I don't know wether to tell her how I feel or not. I'm always in perpetual fear of being rejected. I figured I'd ask fellow nerds, because most think the way I do. Please help.
iNow Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Telling her how you feel tends to accomplish nothing, IMO... Well, it might scare her away and she might wonder why you like her so much when you barely know anything about her. Instead of telling her about your feelings (which is a bit selfish and doesn't tend to do much in terms of forming a relationship), I recommend that you just try to be friends with her and learn about one another... See if you share any interests, and with patience see where it goes from there. Be curious about what she likes. Ask questions calmly and show interest, that sort of thing. And, btw... You WILL be rejected. Sack up and get over it. It's part of life. Sucks, but that's just the way it goes. The more you practice, the easier it gets. 1
Phi for All Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Do you ever get an opportunity to just talk to her, without a ton of other people around?
w0rld Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Oh yeah, we share a lot of intrests. She's a fellow nerd. One of the few female ones around where I live. Also, she might know I like her. And about the spending time alone together (Phi for All) isn't that why Facebook messenger was invented? I would do quotes, but it's hard to do that stuff from my tablet.
Phi for All Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 As iNow said, telling her how you feel isn't always the best way to approach women. You can still be honest and tell her what you like about her. Don't lay it on too thick, pick one thing and tell her about it. "I really like talking to you, since most people forget to use their brain a lot." Although if she smiles at that, you could probably add, "OK, I like your smile, too, but that's it." 1
A Tripolation Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 My advice: Just ask her out. There's a tactic that I like, that is usually successful, where you kind of tell the woman (not ask) that she is going to accompany you somewhere. And that she'll love it. But you have to get the right tone, otherwise you'll just come across as an arrogant jerk. Or unfunny. Both of those are bad. My perspective: If she's a nerd, and a senior, she is most likely headed towards college. Almost all high school relationships do not survive the transition to college. I would be exceedingly wary about this if I were you. Uni changes people.
ajb Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I'm always in perpetual fear of being rejected. Being rejected is just part of life, and not just in relation to women. One has to try to get over this, otherwise you will not try to do anything. I would say go for it, but take care and understand that she may feel rather awkward once she has rejected you, assuming that she does*. I recall girls in my high school could be rather insensitive with rejecting guys and even their friends would take the opportunity to "shoot you down". * of course she may not, but unless you say something how will you know? 3
iNow Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 That's why I said it might be considered selfish. If you tell her how you feel, but she only thinks of you as a friend, then it's awkward and she may feel sad that the friendship gets lost in the process.
ydoaPs Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 It should be noted that taking advice from A Tripolation is a bad idea. He gets peppersprayed more than anyone else I know.
A Tripolation Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 It should be noted that taking advice from A Tripolation is a bad idea. He gets peppersprayed more than anyone else I know. Isn't r/foreveralone missing their moderator?
ydoaPs Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Isn't r/foreveralone missing their moderator? Yeah, you should probably get back to work.
A Tripolation Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) Yeah, you should probably get back to work. If by "work," you mean "trying to quell the flow of women fighting to give me their numbers and prioritize them in order of hotness," yes. You're right. I should get back to work. Edited October 21, 2012 by A Tripolation
ydoaPs Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 If by "work," you mean "trying to quell the flow of women fighting to give me their numbers and prioritize them in order of hotness," yes. You're right. I should get back to work. Aww, you try so hard. That was a valiant effort; would you like a cookie? One day, you'll learn how to troll properly.
A Tripolation Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) Aww, you try so hard. That was a valiant effort; would you like a cookie? One day, you'll learn how to troll properly. Learn how to use quote marks and maybe some day a woman will actually love you. Edited October 21, 2012 by A Tripolation
w0rld Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Thanks for the opinions, guys. We'll see how things go.
Phi for All Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I still say tell her something you like about her, rather than how you feel about her. The difference may seem subtle but it's huge. 1
randomc Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I still say tell her something you like about her, rather than how you feel about her. The difference may seem subtle but it's huge. Or even better, tell her you like something she likes about her. I'm a cynic.
Phi for All Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Or even better, tell her you like something she likes about her. I'm a cynic. Most things you like about people are probably things they like about themselves already, but yeah, you understand the whole purpose behind this type of compliment. It's honest and ego-stroking at the same time.
randomc Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Ah, well, i hate everybody so i'll have to take your word for it
Phi for All Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Ah, well, i hate everybody so i'll have to take your word for it Well I can see how a thread called Relationship Help would attract you. 2
randomc Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) Well I can see how a thread called Relationship Help would attract you. I resent that. Edited October 22, 2012 by randomc
Phi for All Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 You cut off my smiley when you quoted me. It wasn't meant to be antagonistic. You said you hate everybody, it seemed funny you were giving relationship advice. I understand you hate me too, but don't think I was trying to make you resent me.
randomc Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) I did not! I copy pasted it. and i put it back. Edited October 22, 2012 by randomc
Phi for All Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I did not! I copy pasted it. and i put it back. I resent that.
randomc Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 OK, fuck you, guy. Now you're just being glib.
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