Help Plzzzzzzzzz

[Guest asiya]

Heya all, i really need some help........i no this is really boring and probably you all goin to ignore me but im totally stuck, im having so much trouble doing my personal statement PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!

[Guest asiya]

ok if anyone is reading this can some one talk to me, dis is my first time usinf a forum just wna no if its workin

[5614]

yes its working

 

what do you want?

[Jordan14]

Yes it's working but I can't help you with your personal statement. Sorry

[Guest asiya]

i need some help on my personal statement? any one interested in giving me a hand or shall i just run along?

[bloodhound]

well, where are u applying , and what are you applying for. what are ur predicted grades looking like..

[5614]

well who are you?

whats your name?

what have you done in life?

what are your interests?

what grades did you get in education?

 

its hard to write a personal statement about someone you dont know!

[Guest asiya]

well at the moment im doin my a levels in biology, chemistry and maths....im applying for biomedical sciences but its my opening paragraph i cant get right, i've added all my skills and experiences but the opening paragraph sounds really funny

[5614]

well hows it go at the moment?

[bloodhound]

make sure its not just another cliche opening.. like "I have always wanted to do Biomedical sciences because my dad is doing it. " etc.

[Guest asiya]

THIS IS MY FIRST PARAGRAPH!

 

From an early age, I have been fascinated by science, and this has led me to develop an interest in the biochemical sciences. My A-level studies have given me a strong foundation on the basics of chemistry and biology. The particular aspects of the biology course that I have found most interesting is genetics and the immune system, and by studying a biomedical degree I will be able to explore these in more detail.

I would love the course, as it is a strong combination of intense theoretical and practical science. The course will be an intellectual challenge and will develop my critical thinking as well as my ability to apply my theoretical knowledge. I am especially looking forward to learning more about genetics and molecular cell biology. I take every opportunity available to carry out experiments, as I take great pleasure in testing my hypothesis and analysing and evaluating results.

The most interesting part of my A-level chemistry course has been studying environmental chemistry and organic chemistry, as I understood more about the chemistry taking place in our natural surroundings.

[Guest asiya]

hellloooo?

[Sayonara]

hellloooo?

Forums are an asynchronous form of communication. You may have to wait for responses.

[coquina]

From an early age, I have been fascinated by science, and this has led me to develop an interest in the biochemical sciences. My A-level studies have given me a strong foundation on the basics of chemistry and biology. The particular aspects of the biology course that I have found most interesting is (should be are "aspects ... are" ) genetics and the immune system, and by studying a biomedical degree I will be able to explore these in more detail.

I would love not a good verb for this situation - how about "benefit from"? the course, as it is a strong combination of intense theoretical and practical science. The course will be an intellectual challenge and will develop my critical thinking as well as my ability to apply my theoretical knowledge. I am especially looking forward to interested in learning more about genetics and molecular cell biology. I take every opportunity available to carry out experiments, as I take great pleasure in testing my hypothesis and analysing and evaluating results. On what do you perform experiments.... the cat? Sorry, I don't care for that choice of words. The most interesting part of my A-level chemistry course has been studying environmental chemistry and organic chemistry, as I understood more about the chemistry taking place in our natural surroundings.

 

If you are interested in environmental and organic chemistry, look through the findings at this google page: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=hyperthermophiles&spell=1 - these are amazing critters. If I was starting over, this is where I'd want to be. Colonies of these organisms have been found not only at deep sea vents, but also thousands of feet deep in the earth in gold mines. They are "chemosynthetic" - they metabolize various chemicals and are not dependent on photosynthesis. I believe that there will be a great future in bioremediation and that the backbone of it will be finding organisms that turn toxic substances into harmless ones, or genetically engineering organisms to do so.

 

Good luck, and hope this helps.

[Guest asiya]

THANKS SO MUCH! im just going to the link now, you've been such a great help! Have a mentioned all the basic stuff? Thats the only paragraph that talks about my interest in science, would that be enough?

[coquina]

You're quite welcome.

 

Yes, I think you've given the reader adequate information to know that you are genuinely interested in pursuing a degree in science. Your statement should be concise and to the point. Remember that these people are wading through hundreds of applications, yours will stand out they can read it and get the information they require in a couple of minutes.

[5614]

maybe an example or two of past experiments you have done (seeing as you said):

"I take every opportunity available to carry out experiments"

 

why dont you back that up?

 

other than that, it seems quite good (for an opening para about interests in science).

[Ophiolite]

My A-level studies have given me a strong foundation on the basics of chemistry and biology.

 

That reads wrong. I think it should be:

 

My A-level studies have given me a strong foundation in the basics of chemistry and biology.

 

 

Good luck.