why most people still want to have kids ?

[fresh]

How often do you visit your parents ?

How often do you cook for them and chat with them ?

How much do you care about them ?

Do you care about your own kids/wife/husband more than your parents ?

 

It becomes very common the adult children ignore their parents. They seldom visit them, even dont contact them for a long time(don't bother to call.). It is so hurtful .....

Why people never ask themselves why we need to have kid ? what have we done to our parents ?

we cant deny we once hurt them and made them worry about us and even cried for us.

I think ignoring parents is a big tragedy and not tolerable !

how to avoid such tragedy to happen ?

 

 

[CharonY]

I think most parents to some degree accept the fact that their kids are going to live their own life at some point. Being a parent is and should be a bit selfless. As a parent you get to create and form a person and that itself could pretty much be reward enough (and you are passing on your genes, if you are into that....)

If you only have a child to for your entertainment, you are probably better off with a pet.

 

Also, I think a relationship in which someone cares more about his/her parents than his/her own family is not necessarily very healthy. Priorities pass on from one generation to the next and I think this is something that most parents understand well.

[iNow]

How much do you care about them ?

Very much.

 

Do you care about your own kids/wife/husband more than your parents ?

This question does not make sense to me. I care about all of them in different ways.

 

It becomes very common the adult children ignore their parents.

Citation needed.

 

They seldom visit them, even dont contact them for a long time(don't bother to call.).

Citation needed.

 

Why people never ask themselves why we need to have kid ?

Many people do. I am finding that much of your thinking seems to rely on assumptions and pure speculation.

 

I think ignoring parents is a big tragedy and not tolerable

How do you propose it be stopped?

[Delta1212]

How do you propose it be stopped?

Well China just made it illegal, so let's see how that goes.

[iNow]

Well China just made it illegal, so let's see how that goes.

 

Interesting. Do you know how they will measure the magnitude with which children are ignoring their parents? Is there a system in place, and do you know how they will enforce that law? Just curious. Sounds a bit odd... Like getting in trouble for not loving your sibling enough.

[arc]

 

Interesting. Do you know how they will measure the magnitude with which children are ignoring their parents?

 

It should be easy to measure, I'm sure its proportional to the preceding parental nagging.

[fresh]

Very much.

 

This question does not make sense to me. I care about all of them in different ways.

 

Citation needed.

 

Citation needed.

 

Many people do. I am finding that much of your thinking seems to rely on assumptions and pure speculation.

 

How do you propose it be stopped?

sad,,a popular phenomenon needs citations...ok here is http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/parents/msg0701394816256.html

From what i observe from my relatives, my cousins,my friends, friends' friends, other people and news and public interest ads,,,,etc.

it is NOT a damn speculation at all !

It is a serious social problem ! !

(INow, how often do you visit your parents ? )

From your link:

"This year, my New Year's resolution is to care less.

Care less for people who care little for me. Care less for people who judge and condemn me for being the person I am. Care less for people who struggle so deeply with their own issues, that they have little or nothing to share with me. Certainly to care less for people who would demean, diminish, isolate and harm me.

I will not necessarily stop loving. I will stop investing. I will place my caring where it is meaningful and matters. I will place my caring with people who are capable of reciprocating in kind."

Sounds like a good New Years resolution for anyone/everyone!

http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/parents/msg0701394816256.html

(i like this post by dreamgarden.)

Well China just made it illegal, so let's see how that goes.

Although it is illegal, the implementation of law is almost impossible.

[hypervalent_iodine]

sad,,a popular phenomenon needs citations...ok here is http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/parents/msg0701394816256.html

From what i observe from my relatives, my cousins,my friends, friends' friends, other people and news and public interest ads,,,,etc.

it is NOT a damn speculation at all !

It is a serious social problem ! !

(INow, how often do you visit your parents ? )

Your link is hardly a valid citation for your claims and your anecdotes are just that. What iNow is asking for are actual papers by people who have performed studies on this so-called phenomenon. Furthermore, how often iNow visits his parents is not even slightly relevant.

 

To respond to your OP:

 

How often do you visit your parents ?

How often do you cook for them and chat with them ?

How much do you care about them ?

Do you care about your own kids/wife/husband more than your parents ?

I don’t think this is at all pertinent to the validity of your claims.

 

It becomes very common the adult children ignore their parents. They seldom visit them, even dont contact them for a long time(don't bother to call.). It is so hurtful .....

Why people never ask themselves why we need to have kid ? what have we done to our parents ?

we cant deny we once hurt them and made them worry about us and even cried for us.

I think ignoring parents is a big tragedy and not tolerable !

how to avoid such tragedy to happen ?

I do not think it is accurate to make such broad statements on these matters. Some people might exclude one or both of their parents for very valid reasons and some parents may exclude their children rather than the other way around. I do not, in my limited experience, believe this would be such a widespread occurrence as you seem to be suggesting. You really do need to provide some evidence for these claims.

[fresh]

 

Your link is hardly a valid citation for your claims and your anecdotes are just that. What iNow is asking for are actual papers by people who have performed studies on this so-called phenomenon. Furthermore, how often iNow visits his parents is not even slightly relevant.

 

To respond to your OP:

 

 

I don’t think this is at all pertinent to the validity of your claims.

 

 

I do not think it is accurate to make such broad statements on these matters. Some people might exclude one or both of their parents for very valid reasons and some parents may exclude their children rather than the other way around. I do not, in my limited experience, believe this would be such a widespread occurrence as you seem to be suggesting. You really do need to provide some evidence for these claims.

It is not a case study i am talking about, but a social problem to be discussed. It is also the phenomenon i notice. the link i provide gives the evidence it exists. what's wrong with it ?

[hypervalent_iodine]

It is not a case study i am talking about, but a social problem to be discussed. It is also the phenomenon i notice. the link i provide gives the evidence it exists. what's wrong with it ?

 

Your link was to a thread on some random forum. That is not evidence. Prove that what you are saying exists, and then there will be something to discuss.

[fresh]

 

Your link was to a thread on some random forum. That is not evidence. Prove that what you are saying exists, and then there will be something to discuss.

random forum can not approve it exists ? >_<''

[zapatos]

random forum can not approve it exists ? >_<''

No

[Phi for All]

random forum can not approve it exists ? >_<''

 

I could go to a random forum that will tell me about the dangers of vaccinating my child against chicken pox or polio. That won't make it true.

 

 

 

I'm old enough to remember when we (as a society) were told that between robots and computers, we'd all be able to work about 30 hours a week and have more time to spend with the family, traveling and consuming and flying around in our cars. The reality is, computers, robotics and other modern tech can easily fill up our lives if we let it. It's very easy to let ourselves get caught up in our own lives (which is normal) and forget to make time for parents and older relatives who may not have embraced the tech revolution and are wondering what the hell keeps us so busy all the time.

[fresh]

No

It becomes a social problem but it doesnt exist in your eyes. I really dont understand it.

http://www.today.com/moms/parental-estrangement-silent-epidemic-cut-kids-1C9163139

"No parent wants to imagine a day when your child would refuse to speak to you. But estrangements between parents and adult children may be more common than you think. One expert calls it a "silent epidemic."

 

I believe what i heard and saw around me, it happens so often. it hurts. why need citation ?

facts speak louder than words.

Edited July 30, 2013 by fresh

[Arete]

facts speak louder than words.

 

 

That is precisely why you need a citation. All we have is your words, and no facts.

 

All we have to verify your "problem" is your word, and now an anecdotal news article. If it happens "so often" as you assert, it should be relatively easy to provide some facts and figures to support the assertion. If you can't provide any facts or figures, then it is legitimate to question whether or not your anecdotal experience is representative and thus whether or not a problem to be resolved in the broader community actually exists.

[Phi for All]

"No parent wants to imagine a day when your child would refuse to speak to you. But estrangements between parents and adult children may be more common than you think. One expert calls it a "silent epidemic."

 

Here's a red flag on that article. There's a big difference between "your child would refuse to speak to you" and "estrangements between parents and adult children". Estrangement can happen just because you haven't spoken in a while, but doesn't automatically imply that the child is "refusing" to speak to the parent.

 

I think there's a big difference between the "silent epidemic" you're talking about and children who're angry at their parents for a specific reason. One is perhaps a societal trend that should be addressed specially, the other is a normal part of life and has lots of solutions already in place.

[fresh]

can we have a vote among those who have adult children and feel they are alienated from them and not cared by them ?

[Strange]

can we have a vote among those who have adult children and feel they are alienated from them and not cared by them ?

 

Do you think that will be statistically significant?

[fresh]

 

Do you think that will be statistically significant?

Poll doesnt make sense to public ? why we have it ?

[Ophiolite]

can we have a vote among those who have adult children and feel they are alienated from them and not cared by them ?

It is not relevant, but I do not feel alienated from my children. I see my son only occasionally and that is primarily when he needs something from me. I don't see a problem with that. It's nice that when he needs help, money, or advice he turns to his father.

 

Is he using me? Of course he is: that's my biological function. If you don't understand your role in maintaining three and a half billion years of successful reproduction perhaps you should step aside.

[zapatos]

Poll doesnt make sense to public ? why we have it ?

The question was, "Do you think that will be statistically significant?", not "Does a poll make sense to public?".

[fresh]

The question was, "Do you think that will be statistically significant?", not "Does a poll make sense to public?".

so you dont think so. why ?

everyone who posted here wants to have kid and dont think it is most likely parents are to be alienated from their adult children except me and my friends and some friends' friends.

it is so sarcastic we have often been told since childhood that children are so selfish that you should never expect to depend on them in the future by our teachers, parents, grandparents, friends' parents, relatives, the elderly, etc.

Edited July 30, 2013 by fresh

[Ophiolite]

The members of this forum do not represent a meaningful cross section of the population. Your assertion may well be correct. Or it may be wrong. Determining which is true cannot be based upon personal anecdote, or poorly constructed opinion polls.

[Strange]

Poll doesnt make sense to public ? why we have it ?

 

Who said it doesn't make sense? I just asked if you thought a poll (here, presumably, among a self-selected atypical subset of the population) would be significant. Would it represent the real position of most people in the world?

[Delta1212]

 

Interesting. Do you know how they will measure the magnitude with which children are ignoring their parents? Is there a system in place, and do you know how they will enforce that law? Just curious. Sounds a bit odd... Like getting in trouble for not loving your sibling enough.

I think there was some legal minimum frequency with which you're allowed to visit your elderly parents or something along those lines. I came away with the impression that there wasn't much intention to actually enforce it, so it seems to be more of a symbolic law than something with real teeth.