How does a man know he's in love?

[danston]

I think I may be, but how does a man generally know?

[ajb]

I think only you can decide if you are or are not.

[DevilSolution]

If you need to ask, your not.

 

 

Skip to 1m30s, for some reason the timestamp doesnt work :/

Edited December 10, 2013 by DevilSolution

[Phi for All]

There is an audible tone that goes off in your head. It signals the brain to redirect all rational thought through the heart filters. You end up making the stupidest decisions while wearing an equally stupid grin.

 

It's grand.

[DevilSolution]

There is an audible tone that goes off in your head. It signals the brain to redirect all rational thought through the heart filters. You end up making the stupidest decisions while wearing an equally stupid grin.

 

It's grand.

 

Theres also a shit load of 5ht-2/b firing off in your heart. Its lush. The biochemistry is instilled within us.

 

Love is a biochemical reaction to your environment, if your in love, you will feel it.

 

On a personal level this usually has an array of requirements for the feeling to become overwhelming such as admiration, attraction, respect etc....

 

There's a flaw in the biochemical plan though when its not mutual, at which point pain becomes loves nemesis and jealously shall manifest itself negatively.

 

Sadness soon follows.

Edited December 11, 2013 by DevilSolution

[BusaDave9]

I don't believe there is any such thing as love. I hate to burst your bubble.

Sure everyone wants a good mate. It's exciting when you find someone you think is perfect. But what is love?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oh, and no, I am not always this cynical.

[Phi for All]

I don't believe there is any such thing as love. I hate to burst your bubble.

 

Love is not the bubble, love is the air that keeps the bubble afloat and inflated. The air surrounds two people in love and the bubble can't burst by itself or someone outside it.

 

It must be purposely and maliciously skewered from the inside by one or both of the people it surrounds.

 

The bubble itself is the relationship, the commitment. The relationship keeps the trapped love from escaping. And if the bubble remains unburst, and the two people inside remain committed to each other and the bubble, eventually asphyxiation will kill them both. [/Montague v Capulet]

[ajb]

I am wondering if we can use Bayes' theorem to to show that one is likely or not likely to be in love...

 

 

(A little inside joke here)

[Dekan]

Doesn't the idea of being "in love" come from females.

 

You can see how it comes about. After a female's been impregnated, her abdomen starts to swell up. This swelling soon gets big enough to seriously handicap her movements. It makes her unable to run quickly away from predators, such as wolves and bears. She needs help to protect her. Where can she get such help - the obvious source of help is the male who impregnated her.

 

However, that male might soon lose interest, and wander off to impregnate more females. So he must be made to stay. That can be achieved by making the male "fall in love". That's a powerful mechanism. When a man "falls in love", he's instinctively compelled to stay with the pregnant female until she she gives birth,. And afterwards, to carry on supporting the female, despite her tiresome offspring.

 

All this is obvious, and explains what "love" is - a female device to entrap men. It distracts and hinders us men from thinking about higher things, such as Science.

 

I don't know why we men bother with love, we should get on with building spaceships, and big telescopes.

Edited December 11, 2013 by Dekan

[Phi for All]

Doesn't the idea of being "in love" come from females?

 

You can how it comes about. Once a female's been impregnated, her abdomen swells up. This swelling soon gets big enough to seriously handicap her movements. It makes her unable to run quickly away from predators, such as wolves and bears. She needs help to protect her. Where can she get such help - the obvious source of help is the male who impregnated her.

 

However, that male might soon lose interest, and wander off to impregnate more females. So he must be made to stay. That can be achieved by the impregnated female making the male "fall in love". This is a powerful mechanism. When a man "falls in love", he's instinctively compelled to stay with the pregnant female until she she gives birth,. And afterwards, to carry on supporting the female, despite her tiresome offspring.

 

I think that explains "love" - it's a female device to entrap men. It distracts and hinders us men from thinking about higher things, such as Science, Isn't that the truth?

 

Perhaps in a hunter/gatherer society. When we went agrarian, and started collecting things like animals and land, suddenly love ensured that a man was leaving his stuff to his own offspring, and not some other guy's kids. Love became very important as a tool for men to trap women into monogamous relationships.

[Bill Angel]

Doesn't the idea of being "in love" come from females.

 

You can see how it comes about. After a female's been impregnated, her abdomen starts to swell up. This swelling soon gets big enough to seriously handicap her movements. It makes her unable to run quickly away from predators, such as wolves and bears. She needs help to protect her. Where can she get such help - the obvious source of help is the male who impregnated her.

 

However, that male might soon lose interest, and wander off to impregnate more females. So he must be made to stay. That can be achieved by making the male "fall in love". That's a powerful mechanism. When a man "falls in love", he's instinctively compelled to stay with the pregnant female until she she gives birth,. And afterwards, to carry on supporting the female, despite her tiresome offspring.

 

All this is obvious, and explains what "love" is - a female device to entrap men. It distracts and hinders us men from thinking about higher things, such as Science.

 

I don't know why we men bother with love, we should get on with building spaceships, and big telescopes.

This is a good explaination of the mechanism of love for another human being from the point of view of an atheist. But I believe that some atheists profess a love for science.

[Daedalus]

Doesn't the idea of being "in love" come from females.

 

You can see how it comes about. After a female's been impregnated, her abdomen starts to swell up. This swelling soon gets big enough to seriously handicap her movements. It makes her unable to run quickly away from predators, such as wolves and bears. She needs help to protect her. Where can she get such help - the obvious source of help is the male who impregnated her.

 

However, that male might soon lose interest, and wander off to impregnate more females. So he must be made to stay. That can be achieved by making the male "fall in love". That's a powerful mechanism. When a man "falls in love", he's instinctively compelled to stay with the pregnant female until she she gives birth,. And afterwards, to carry on supporting the female, despite her tiresome offspring.

 

All this is obvious, and explains what "love" is - a female device to entrap men. It distracts and hinders us men from thinking about higher things, such as Science.

 

I don't know why we men bother with love, we should get on with building spaceships, and big telescopes.

Although I agree with some of your assertions:

 

You can see how it comes about. After a female's been impregnated, her abdomen starts to swell up. This swelling soon gets big enough to seriously handicap her movements. It makes her unable to run quickly away from predators, such as wolves and bears. She needs help to protect her. Where can she get such help - the obvious source of help is the male who impregnated her.

 

As a parent, I do not agree with your premise. Love is a chemical and mental bond shared between a person and an object of affection. It is not a mechanism evolved in women to entrap men, and I resent your sexist point of view.

 

Wikipedia lists some information regarding these chemicals that produce the feelings of love:

 

Neurochemistry

 

Studies in neuroscience have involved chemicals that are present in the brain and might be involved when people experience love. These chemicals include: nerve growth factor, testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin. Adequate brain levels of testosterone seem important for both human male and female sexual behavior. Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are more commonly found during the attraction phase of a relationship. Oxytocin and vasopressin seemed to be more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments.

 

The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love — sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to his or her mother or father– or both.

 

The chemicals triggered that are responsible for passionate love and long-term attachment love seem to be more particular to the activities in which both persons participate rather than to the nature of the specific people involved.

 

Serotonin

 

Chemically, the serotonin effects of being infatuated have a similar chemical appearance to obsessive-compulsive disorder; which could explain why people experiencing infatuation cannot think of anyone else. For this reason some, such as anthropologist Helen Fisher, assert that taking SSRIs and other antidepressants impede one's ability to fall in love. In one particular case Fisher noted:

 

I know of one couple on the edge of divorce. The wife was on an antidepressant. Then she went off it, started having orgasms once more, felt the renewal of sexual attraction for her husband, and they're now in love all over again.

 

Oxytocin

 

Simplified overview of the chemical basis of love.

 

Main article: Oxytocin

 

The long-term attachment felt after the initial "in love" passionate phase of the relationship ends is related to oxytocin, a chemical released after orgasm. Moreover, novelty triggers attraction. Even exercising for several minutes can make one more attracted to other people on account of increased heart rate and other physiological responses.

 

Nerve growth factor

 

In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year. Specifically, four neurotrophin levels (NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4) of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in two control groups who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.

 

No one really knows how the chemical and mental bonds evolved millions of years ago, but it is obvious that love is an emotional attachment to things that make us happy and provide us with enjoyment even when such things can hurt us. This feeling of attachment is a response to chemical reactions that provide us with the ability to differentiate between things that we like versus things that we don't like. Because our bodies produce these chemicals in varying concentrations, we experience it differently based on the object that produced such chemical reactions. Therefore, you might love your children more than your XBox, and as a father of two awesome sons who love and adore me, I can tell you that my children are not just my ex-wife's tiresome offspring. They are my little buddies, and I would give my life for them.

 

All this is obvious, and explains what "love" is - a female device to entrap men. It distracts and hinders us men from thinking about higher things, such as Science.

 

I don't know why we men bother with love, we should get on with building spaceships, and big telescopes.

 

Are you saying that it is only through men that we advance our scientific knowledge and technological abilities? I hope not! If it were not for women scientists, we would not have the technological marvels that we have today. Your conclusion is flawed, and you should to retract your sexist statements.

Edited December 11, 2013 by Daedalus

[Delta1212]

I don't believe there is any such thing as love. I hate to burst your bubble.

Sure everyone wants a good mate. It's exciting when you find someone you think is perfect. But what is love?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oh, and no, I am not always this cynical.

There is clearly such a thing as love. It may be largely hormonal, or applied to situations without rational basis (e.g. Loving someone who has no interest in you or two people who are fundamentally incompatible falling in love) but just because it's not the magic panacea for life that romcoms make it out to be doesn't mean it isn't real.

[CaptainPanic]

I think I may be, but how does a man generally know?

 

It is not like a disease that you either have, or don't have. There is definitely a grey area in between completely in love, and completely not in love. Actually, looking back the uncertainty with not understanding your own feeling has its charm (but that does not help you right now).

 

Frankly, it does not matter whether you are officially and certified "in love". Just ask yourself if you'd like to be with the particular woman who you think you're in love with. If the answer is yes, you should see if you can arrange that to happen. You can only find out if those feelings are true if you spend more time with that woman...

 

Btw, I am not an expert, but I think it is perfectly OK to tell a woman that you 'think you're in love'. You probably won't have to sign a contract where you guarantee that you are definitely in love.