The brilliant madness, manic depression

[Alan McDougall]

I have suffered terrible with manic depression for many years but at present very well controlled by modern medication.

 

This particular disorder has effected many people of great intellect and influence, two examples were the late great Winston Churchill another Vincent van Gogh

 

I prefer to call it manic depression rather than the waters down title of bipolar disorder, what I have experienced due to this malady almost defies belief.

 

I am prepared to dialogue with those interested, please join in?

[iNow]

If I'm honest, I'm not really interested in chatting with you about your bipolar issues. However, I did read an interesting article today discussing work being done using genes to allow more focused treatment of mental health. I wonder if perhaps this hijack might salvage your thread and inspire others to participate?

 

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/next/body/personalized-psychiatry/

Even the most skilled psychiatrists tend to choose medications or therapy based on population-wide statistics, not individual profiles. As a result, a great many patients get cycled through myriad medications and therapies before they come across something that works welland without side effects. Each false start could waste months of time, during which jobs are lost, relationships end, and misery endures. Could the new era of personalized medicine offer a way to shorten their suffering?

<snip>

the number of researchers like Trivedi, who are searching for biological clues to psychiatric treatment, is multiplying, buoyed by support from federal agencies, including the National Institutes of Mental Health. They call the field personalized psychiatry.

 

We are very committed to taking genetics as far it will go, says Tom Insel, director of the NIMH. Granted, he says, the field of personalized psychiatry is still more of a promise than a reality, and that sets it apart from genetics of different tumors or cancers. But its exactly where we need to be going.

 

The latest research into the psychiatric genome fits with NIMHs newest priorities. Last spring, when the fifth edition of the Diagnostic Standards Manual (DSM5) came out, Insel lamented the degree to which mental health providers remain dependent on symptoms to diagnose disease, rather than underlying biology. He announced NIMH funding would be shifting towards the search for psychiatric biomarkersa practice he calls precision psychiatry. <continue reading>

[Alan McDougall]

If I'm honest, I'm not really interested in chatting with you about your bipolar issues. However, I did read an interesting article today discussing work being done using genes to allow more focused treatment of mental health. I wonder if perhaps this hijack might salvage your thread and inspire others to participate?

 

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/next/body/personalized-psychiatry/

 

Thanks for being honest, how can you salvage something that up to now, except for your input had no content to discuss? Of course it is OK to also discuss mental health issues on a broader base, in this thread!

[davidivad]

i applaud your ability to publicly admit that you have a psychiatric condition. many people go on through their lives hiding. relax, nobody is perfect.

[Alan McDougall]

i applaud your ability to publicly admit that you have a psychiatric condition. many people go on through their lives hiding. relax, nobody is perfect.

 

 

Thank you

 

It has cost me so much pain in my life, effecting my family friends and ruining my career leading to early retirement long before my goals in live had been achieved

 

The profound mental pain of a serious mental disorder can be much worse than a physical problem, I know this because I have experienced both in my life time.

[Tres Juicy]

Many of historys greatest minds were horribly tormented people. I myself suffer from frequent bouts of severe depression and have also been labeled a high functioning sociopath (something I am only recently beginning to fully understand). I take solace in the fact that some of my heroes (or anti-heroes) were also affected with similar issues.

 

Not least of which Richard Feynman and Lord Byron.

 

“He knew himself a villain—but he deem’d
The rest no better than the thing he seem’d;
And scorn’d the best as hypocrites who hid
Those deeds the bolder spirit plainly did.
He knew himself detested, but he knew
The hearts that loath’d him, crouch’d and dreaded too.
Lone, wild, and strange, he stood alike exempt
From all affection and from all contempt”

George Gordon Byron

One of history’s favorite sociopaths

[Alan McDougall]

Many of historys greatest minds were horribly tormented people. I myself suffer from frequent bouts of severe depression and have also been labeled a high functioning sociopath (something I am only recently beginning to fully understand). I take solace in the fact that some of my heroes (or anti-heroes) were also affected with similar issues.

 

Not least of which Richard Feynman and Lord Byron.

 

“He knew himself a villain—but he deem’d

The rest no better than the thing he seem’d;

And scorn’d the best as hypocrites who hid

Those deeds the bolder spirit plainly did.

He knew himself detested, but he knew

The hearts that loath’d him, crouch’d and dreaded too.

Lone, wild, and strange, he stood alike exempt

From all affection and from all contempt”

George Gordon Byron

One of history’s favorite sociopaths

 

Here are a few others

http://www.famousbipolarpeople.com/

 

Abraham Lincoln (leader)

· Adam Ant (musician)

· Agatha Christie (writer)

· Axl Rose (musician)

· Buzz Aldrin (other)

· Drew Carey (actor)

· Carrie Fisher (actor)

· Edgar Poe (writer)

· Gordon Sumner (Sting) (musician)

· Hans Christian Andersen (writer)

· Heinz Prechter (entrepreneurs)

· Isaac Newton (other)

· Jane Pauley (other)

· Jean-Claude Van Damme (actor)

· Jim Carey (actor)

· Jimi Hendrix (musician)

· John Dally (sporting stars)

· Jonathan Hay (sporting stars)

· Kay Redfield Jamison (other, writer)

· Kurt Cobain (musician)

· Larry Flynt (entrepreneurs)

· Liz Taylor (actor)

· Ludwig Boltzmann (other)

· Ludwig Van Beethoven (musician)

· Marilyn Monroe (actor)

· Mark Twain (writer)

· Maurice Benard (actor)

· Mel Gibson (actor)

· Micheal Slater (sporting stars)

· Napoleon Bonaparte (leader)

· Ozzy Osbourne (musician)

· Patricia Cornwell (writer)

· Patrick Joseph Kennedy (leader)

· Patty Duke (actor)

· Plato (other)

· Ralph Waldo Emerson (writer)

· Rene Rivkin (entrepreneurs)

· Robert Downey (actor)

· Robin Williams (actor)

· Sinead O'Connor (musician)

· Sophie Anderton (other)

· Stephen Fry (actor)

· Ted Turner (entrepreneurs)

· Tim Burton (writer, other)

· Tom Waits (musician, actor)

· Thomas Stearns Elliot (writer)

· Vincent Van Gogh (other)

· Virginia Woolf (writer)

· Winston Chruchill (leader)

· Wolfgang Armadeus Mozart (musician)

[Popcorn Sutton]

I've been there, Alan. It doesn't sound like you're depressed though.

[hypervalent_iodine]

I've been there, Alan. It doesn't sound like you're depressed though.

 

 

!

Moderator Note

It's probably best that you avoid dispensing medical advice on this forum.

[Alan McDougall]

I've been there, Alan. It doesn't sound like you're depressed though.

 

I am not it varies, up and down!

[Popcorn Sutton]

Have you had any "big insights"?

[Tres Juicy]

The thing about being depressed is that you hide it. It's easy to admit to depression in this kind of anonymous environment, not so much in real life.

 

It's easy to think of it as admitting defeat or a sign of weakness.

Edited January 14, 2014 by Tres Juicy

[Alan McDougall]

Have you had any "big insights"?

 

I am not sure what you mean?

The thing about being depressed is that you hide it. It's easy to admit to depression in this kind of anonymous environment, not so much in real life.

 

It's easy to think of it as admitting defeat or a sign of weakness.

 

You cant hide serious clinical depression especially the manic phase of bipolar disorder, in any environment your comments shows you have little understanding of the disease.

[Tres Juicy]

 

I am not sure what you mean?

 

You cant hide serious clinical depression especially the manic phase of bipolar disorder, in any environment your comments shows you have little understanding of the disease.

 

Not all cases of depression include manic phases and there is a clear distinction between depression and bipolar depression:

 

http://www.ulifeline.org/articles/399-bipolar-depression-vs-unipolar-depression

 

Mine is unipolar so I speak from a slightly different point of veiw and my comment may well just be my subjective experience.

 

Personally I do very well to hide my depression (often for months at a time) but I have had a lot of practice.

 

As for my understanding of the condition, it is something I have lived and dealt with for the past 20+ years so I know a little something about it...

[Alan McDougall]

 

Not all cases of depression include manic phases and there is a clear distinction between depression and bipolar depression:

 

http://www.ulifeline.org/articles/399-bipolar-depression-vs-unipolar-depression

 

Mine is unipolar so I speak from a slightly different point of veiw and my comment may well just be my subjective experience.

 

Personally I do very well to hide my depression (often for months at a time) but I have had a lot of practice.

 

As for my understanding of the condition, it is something I have lived and dealt with for the past 20+ years so I know a little something about it...

 

I have also lived and suffered with manic depression for over 35 years, experiencing both the depths of the lows and the euphoria of the high manic state. I now no longer go into very high mania, because it is controlled be medication. However, the mania now manifest itself in a different way, I get angry and irritable when there is absolutely no reason to feel that way.

 

I can relate to your unipolar clinical depression, because the down phase of the bipolar disorder is the same, many manic depressives commit suicide during the low phase of that disorder, not during the up state where they feel extremely good and well, which of course is an illusion, because even though you cant convince them that they are seriously ill while they are enjoying mania .

 

Hope you keep well, deep depression and mental pain, can sometimes be much worse than physical pain and distress.

The thing about being depressed is that you hide it. It's easy to admit to depression in this kind of anonymous environment, not so much in real life.

 

It's easy to think of it as admitting defeat or a sign of weakness.

 

That is true, when I started to suffer from a mental disorder many years ago, there was a lot of stigma attached to it, and although my work as a IT system analyst was of the highest quality, they would overlook me when time for promotions came about. This led to extreme frustration on my part and as soon as I was financially secure, as I could hope to be, I left on early retirement at the very young age of 47. I still had a huge amount of insight and talent to offer to society, but their prejudice would not allow them to recognize that as a fact. I was surrounded by well meaning patronizing colleagues and bosses, back then. Hopefully the present generation has developed a new understanding of manic depression, many of the greatest people of the past and present have contributed hugely towards the betterment of society.

 

We don't put people with diabetes for example out to pasture, mental illness like the bipolar disorder is a physical ailment, just as diabetes and not a weakness of the psyche

[Popcorn Sutton]

 

I am not sure what you mean?

When I was depressed, I really felt like I couldn't connect with the people who wanted to be around me. I've had a big interest in science probably since I was 12. Luckily, I had a friend who shared that interest with me. When I lost that friend around the age of 23, no one else shared that same passion. I became depressed for a few years after that. By now, I've shared my insights with both those around me and people from all over the world. At first, I was judged negatively with those in my presence, and often, people didn't want to be around me, some of them saying that "I was too smart to hang out with." By now, I believe that I've conditioned them to be more open minded, and I think that I've cultivated a genuine interest in them to not only make their lives better, but also the lives of those around them, and I also think that I've shown them that science can be a fulfilling outlet for that interest.

[Alan McDougall]

When I was depressed, I really felt like I couldn't connect with the people who wanted to be around me. I've had a big interest in science probably since I was 12. Luckily, I had a friend who shared that interest with me. When I lost that friend around the age of 23, no one else shared that same passion. I became depressed for a few years after that. By now, I've shared my insights with both those around me and people from all over the world. At first, I was judged negatively with those in my presence, and often, people didn't want to be around me, some of them saying that "I was too smart to hang out with." By now, I believe that I've conditioned them to be more open minded, and I think that I've cultivated a genuine interest in them to not only make their lives better, but also the lives of those around them, and I also think that I've shown them that science can be a fulfilling outlet for that interest.

 

Are you on any medication, please don't specify as we are not permitted to dispense medical advice on the forum, a yes or no will do, thank you.?

[Popcorn Sutton]

Yes, but as people have pointed out, I was generalized, my doctor was not willing to experiment, he ended up making it worse because he never changed what I was taking, only increased the dosage, and I think that he seriously may have thought that a big dose would change my ailment overnight, which just doesn't happen.

 

To make a long story short, at first, the medication didn't help, and although it calmed me down, it really debilitated me and was very scary for me to experience first hand, and my family hated what they saw... But then again, my family is a very difficult family, it's like they don't want to see me succeed and pursue my interests. It's almost like they're trying to prevent it from happening, which is a big source of anxiety and depression for me.

 

My dad is a whole different type of psychotic. Not the irrational, alcoholic type of psychotic, but a very domineering, passive aggressive, on the brink of killing you type of psychotic. I've literally ran from the man several times because he's not making sense and pushes me into a corner. Every time he has caught me and threw me into a wall, dragged me back to his car, and even put me in the hospital against my will. The sad part is that at first I was talking to him about my interests in science, and he started telling me that I'm not acting like myself, which is what led to the whole psychotic episode.

 

My mom only wants to shut me up, "turn my brain off", and make me do her bidding. She doesn't do anything really, except for watch HGTV and play Facebook games. Every once in a while she will vacuum and dust the living room.

 

My brother thinks I'm crazy and doesn't believe anything I say. He beat me up all throughout childhood and made his friends hate me for no reason. He used to do things like hold me down and spit in my mouth.

 

Needless to say, I keep to myself nowadays, and me and my family share little in common. My dad drives me crazy when he says that "the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree", and I know that they want me to fulfill their legacy, stay in the area, and avoid debt (which means that they don't want me to pursue my dreams of becoming a professor). Ever since I let them know about my opportunities to get a PhD for free, maybe get paid for it, teach English, and live a decent life in Mexico, they've held my passport hostage. They love my brother absolutely and don't question him at all, however, with me, everything requires explanation.

 

The medication I am on right now seems to be doing the job though, and even if it doesn't do much, I'm in a much different mindset than the one I started in and have found a new appreciation for life regardless of my financial situation. My doctor did say something strange though... "You really don't deserve this."

 

Sorry, I went on a bit of a rant. The sad thing is that I know of people who have it worse than me though. At least I have a positive outlook and can carry on a conversation that doesn't make others want to leave or stop talking to me.

Edited January 15, 2014 by Popcorn Sutton

[Alan McDougall]

When I was depressed, I really felt like I couldn't connect with the people who wanted to be around me. I've had a big interest in science probably since I was 12. Luckily, I had a friend who shared that interest with me. When I lost that friend around the age of 23, no one else shared that same passion. I became depressed for a few years after that. By now, I've shared my insights with both those around me and people from all over the world. At first, I was judged negatively with those in my presence, and often, people didn't want to be around me, some of them saying that "I was too smart to hang out with." By now, I believe that I've conditioned them to be more open minded, and I think that I've cultivated a genuine interest in them to not only make their lives better, but also the lives of those around them, and I also think that I've shown them that science can be a fulfilling outlet for that interest.

 

Well here you are years later on a great scientific forum, where you can freely share your passion for science with like minded people!

Yes, but as people have pointed out, I was generalized, my doctor was not willing to experiment, he ended up making it worse because he never changed what I was taking, only increased the dosage, and I think that he seriously may have thought that a big dose would change my ailment overnight, which just doesn't happen.

 

To make a long story short, at first, the medication didn't help, and although it calmed me down, it really debilitated me and was very scary for me to experience first hand, and my family hated what they saw... But then again, my family is a very difficult family, it's like they don't want to see me succeed and pursue my interests. It's almost like they're trying to prevent it from happening, which is a big source of anxiety and depression for me.

 

My dad is a whole different type of psychotic. Not the irrational, alcoholic type of psychotic, but a very domineering, passive aggressive, on the brink of killing you type of psychotic. I've literally ran from the man several times because he's not making sense and pushes me into a corner. Every time he has caught me and threw me into a wall, dragged me back to his car, and even put me in the hospital against my will. The sad part is that at first I was talking to him about my interests in science, and he started telling me that I'm not acting like myself, which is what led to the whole psychotic episode.

 

My mom only wants to shut me up, "turn my brain off", and make me do her bidding. She doesn't do anything really, except for watch HGTV and play Facebook games. Every once in a while she will vacuum and dust the living room.

 

My brother thinks I'm crazy and doesn't believe anything I say. He beat me up all throughout childhood and made his friends hate me for no reason. He used to do things like hold me down and spit in my mouth.

 

Needless to say, I keep to myself nowadays, and me and my family share little in common. My dad drives me crazy when he says that "the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree", and I know that they want me to fulfill their legacy, stay in the area, and avoid debt (which means that they don't want me to pursue my dreams of becoming a professor). Ever since I let them know about my opportunities to get a PhD for free, maybe get paid for it, teach English, and live a decent life in Mexico, they've held my passport hostage. They love my brother absolutely and don't question him at all, however, with me, everything requires explanation.

 

The medication I am on right now seems to be doing the job though, and even if it doesn't do much, I'm in a much different mindset than the one I started in and have found a new appreciation for life regardless of my financial situation. My doctor did say something strange though... "You really don't deserve this."

 

Sorry, I went on a bit of a rant. The sad thing is that I know of people who have it worse than me though. At least I have a positive outlook and can carry on a conversation that doesn't make others want to leave or stop talking to me.

 

You need to express yourself, get your frustrations in life off your shoulder, your life story is sad and full of abuse , lack of understanding and love from those you most expected to get it from. It is obvious to me that your childhood had much to do with your battle with depression over the years, keep up good work I am prepared to help you privately , if you so desire, use the private message facilty of the forum to get in touch with me

[Popcorn Sutton]

Thank you for the sentiment. That experience helped to shape who I am, but it's hard for me to connect with people because of it.

[Alan McDougall]

Thank you for the sentiment. That experience helped to shape who I am, but it's hard for me to connect with people because of it.

 

You are welcome !