last words, death bed statements, some are funny!

[Alan McDougall]

http://www.phrases.org.uk/quotes/last-words/

 

 

http://www.phrases.org.uk/quotes/last-words/

 

Famous last words, death bed statements

Thomas Jefferson--still survives...
~~ John Adams, US President, d. July 4, 1826
(Actually, Jefferson had died earlier that same day.)

This is the last of earth! I am content.
~~ John Quincy Adams, US President, d. February 21, 1848

See in what peace a Christian can die.
~~ Joseph Addison, writer, d. June 17, 1719

is it not meningitis?
~~ Louisa M. Alcott, writer, d. 1888

Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait.
In response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, "

General, I fear the angels are waiting for you."
~~ Ethan Allen, American Revolutionary general, d. 1789

Am I dying or is this my birthday?
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

Nothing, but death.
When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted.

~~ Jane Austen, writer, d. July 18, 1817
Codeine . . . bourbon.

~~ Tallulah Bankhead, actress, d. December 12, 1968
how were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?

~~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, d. 1891
I can't sleep.

~~ James M. Barrie, author, d. 1937
is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I'm happy.

~~ Ethel Barrymore, actress, d. June 18, 1959
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
~~ John Barrymore, actor, d. May 29, 1942

I am ready to die for my Lord, which in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace.
~~ Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, d.1170

now comes the mystery.
~~ Henry Ward Beecher, evangelist, d. March 8, 1887
In her new book The Most Famous Man in America, author Debby Applegate writes on page 466 that Beecher's last words in fact were, "You were saying that I could not recover." Ms. Applegate has not been able to confirm the traditional version of Beecher's last words.

Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.

~~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, d. March 26, 1827

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
~~ Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. January 14, 1957

Josephine...
~~ Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor, May 5, 1821

I am about to -- or I am going to -- die: either expression is correct.
~~ Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, d. 1702

Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you.
~~ Johannes Brahms, composer, d. April 3, 1897

Oh, I am not going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy.
Spoken to her husband of 9 months, Rev. Arthur Nicholls.

~~ Charlotte Bronte, writer, d. March 31, 1855
Beautiful.
In reply to her husband who had asked how she felt.

~~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning, writer, d. June 28, 1861
Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight.

~~ Lord George Byron, writer, d. 1824

Et tu, Brute?
Assassinated.
~~ Gaius Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor, d. 44 BC

I am still alive!

Stabbed to death by his own guards - (as reported by Roman historian Tacitus)

~~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, d.41 AD

Don't let poor Nelly (his mistress, Nell Gwynne) starve.
~~ Charles II, King of England and Scotland, d. 1685

Ay Jesus.
~~ Charles V, King of France, and d. 1380

I am dying. I haven't drunk champagne for a long time.
~~ Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, writer, d. July 1, 1904

The earth is suffocating . . . Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won't be buried alive.
Dying of tuberculosis.

~~ Frederic Chopin, composer, d. October 16, 1849
I'm bored with it all.

Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965
This time it will be a long one.

~~ Georges Clemenceau, French premier, d. 1929
I have tried so hard to do the right.

~~ Grover Cleveland, US President, d. 1908

That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
~~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959

Goodnight my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow.
~~ Noel Coward, writer, d. 1973

Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud?
~~ Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977

That was a great game of golf, fellers.
~~ Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby, singer / actor, d. October 14, 1977

I am not the least afraid to die.
~~ Charles Darwin, d. April 19, 1882

My God. What's happened?
~~ Diana (Spencer), Princess of Wales, d. August 31, 1997

I must go in, the fog is rising.
~~ Emily Dickinson, poet, d. 1886
Do you hear the rain? Do you hear the rain?
Minutes before her plane crashed.

~~ Jessica Dubroff, ten-year-old pilot, d. 1996
Adieu, mes amis. Je vais la gloire.
(Farewell, my friends! I go to glory!)

~~ Isadora Duncan, dancer, d. 1927
Please know that I am quite aware of the hazards. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.

Last letter to her husband before her last flight.
KHAQQ calling Itasca. We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.

Last radio communiqué before her disappearance.
~~ Amelia Earhart, d. 1937
It is very beautiful over there.

~~ Thomas Alva Edison, inventor, d. October 18, 1931
No, I shall not give in. I shall go on. I shall work to the end.
~~ Edward VII, King of Britain, d. 1910

All my possessions for a moment of time.
~~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, and d. 1603

I've never felt better.
~~ Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor, d. December 12, 1939

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.
~~ Richard Feynman, physicist, d. 1988

I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
~~ Errol Flynn, actor, d. October 14, 1959

A dying man can do nothing easy.
~~ Benjamin Franklin, statesman, d. April 17, 1790
Come my little one, and give me your hand.
Spoken to his daughter, Ottilie.

~~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, writer, d. March 22, 1832
I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.

Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.
~~ Ernesto "Che" Guevara, d. October 9, 1967
Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
When asked if he thought dying was tough.

~~ Edmund Gwenn, actor, d. September 6, 1959
God will pardon me, that's his line of work.
~~ Heinrich Heine, poet, d. February 15, 1856

urn up the lights, I don't want to go home in the dark.
~~ O. Henry (William Sidney Porter), writer, d. June 4, 1910

All is lost. Monks, monks, monks!
~~ Henry VIII, King of England, d. 1547

I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
~~ Thomas Hobbes, writer, d. 1679

I see black light.
~~ Victor Hugo, writer, d. May 22, 1885

Oh, do not cry - be good children and we will all meet in heaven.
~~ Andrew Jackson, US President, d. 1845
Let us cross over the river and sit in the shade of the trees.
Killed in error by his own troops at the battle of Chancellorsville during the US Civil War.

~~ General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson, d. 1863
Is it the Fourth?

~~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, d. July 4, 1826
Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.
From Luke 23:46
~~ Jesus Christ

Does nobody understand?
~~ James Joyce, writer, d. 1941
Why not? Yeah.

~~ Timothy Leary, d. May 31, 1996
Now I have finished with all earthly business and high time too. Yes, yes, my dear child now comes death.

~~ Franz Leher, composer, d. October 24, 1948
A King should die standing.

~~ Louis XVIII, King of France, d. 1824
Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?

~~ Louis XIV, King of France, d. 1715
I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms.
~~ Louise, Queen of Prussia, d. 1820

Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.

~~ Walter De La Mare, writer, d. 1956
Let's cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966

Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity?

~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883
I forgive everybody. I pray that everybody may also forgive me, and my blood which is about to be shed will bring peace to Mexico. Long live Mexico! Long Live Independence!

~~ Maximilian, Emperor of Mexico, (Archduke Maximilian of Austria), d. June 11, 1867

Nothing matters. Nothing matters.
~~ Louis B. Mayer, film producer, d. October 29, 1957

It's all been very interesting.
~~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, writer, d. 1762
I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.

~~ Eugene O'Neill, writer, d. November 27, 1953
Good-bye . . . why am I haemorrhaging?

~~ Boris Pasternak, writer, d. 1959

Get my swan costume ready.
~~ Anna Pavlova, ballerina, d. 1931

I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven.
Giving his reasons for refusing to see a priest as he lay dying.
~~ Pietro Perugino, Italian painter, d. 1523

Lord help my poor soul.
~~ Edgar Allan Poe, writer, and d. October 7, 1849
I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
Spoken to his wife.

~~ James K. Polk, US President, d. 1849
Here am I, dying of a hundred good symptoms.

~~ Alexander Pope, writer, and d. May 30, 1744
I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.

~~ François Rabelais, writer, d. 1553

I have a terrific headache.
He died of a cerebral haemorrhage.
~~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt, US President, d. 1945

Put out the light.
~~ Theodore Roosevelt, US President, d. 1919

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.
~~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864

Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
Spoken to his nurse.
~~ George Bernard Shaw, playwright, d. November 2, 1950

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record . . .
~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953

Moose . . . Indian . . .
~~ Henry David Thoreau, writer, d. May 6, 1862

God bless... God damn.
~~ James Thurber, humorist, d. 1961

I feel here that this time they have succeeded.
~~ Leon Trobotsky, Russian revolutionary, d. 1940

Don't worry chief, it will be alright.
~~ Rudolph Valentino, actor, d. August 23, 1926

Woe is me. Me thinks I'm turning into a god.
~~ Vespasian, Roman Emperor, d. 79 AD

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
~~ Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary, d. 1923

I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
~~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, d. 1519

I die hard but am not afraid to go.
~~ George Washington, US President, d. December 14, 1799

Go away. I'm all right.
~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

I am ready.
~~ Woodrow Wilson, US President, d. 1924

Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!
~~ Florins Seinfeld, showman, d. July 22, 1932

A grave stone read "I told you I was sick"

Take care

 

Alan McDougall

[swansont]

My favorite is

 

"Don't worry men. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

 

Gen John Sedgewick, killed by a sniper at the battle of Spotsylvania (US Civil War)

[CharonY]

Actually Oscar Wilde said : “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.” A few weeks before his death. IIRC.

 

And when it comes to last moments, Tommy Cooper's is hard to beat:

http://youtu.be/bkvg2tr5eSA

[imatfaal]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/3742443.stm

 

Spike Milligan actually did it and got his favoured epitaph about 2 years after he died.

[Alan McDougall]

My favorite is

 

"Don't worry men. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

 

Gen John Sedgewick, killed by a sniper at the battle of Spotsylvania (US Civil War)

 

 

I find this one very funny.

~~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, d. 1891

I can't sleep.

[Acme]

I don't feel good. ~ Luther Burbank

[Alan McDougall]

I don't feel good. ~ Luther Burbank

 

I see black light.

~~ Victor Hugo, writer, d. May 22, 1885

[Acme]

Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius. Please, don't forget to pay the debt. ~ Socrates