Science and A Scientist

[Popcorn Sutton]

I'll get into a more detailed response later, but for now I just want to let you know that I really don't try to change the system. Most of my jobs have been dead end jobs like waiting, but right now I'm a cashier. I respect my employer, but most of the time, I fear them. I respect them, but I'm usually afraid of them. I really don't know why, and the same goes for people's parents. I've only run into 2 families where the parents were nice with me, everyone else's families just don't like having their children have friends over, and most of the time there really isn't anything to do anyways. I'm a cashier right now and I'm being paid $8/hr. I do have opportunities though. Bail bond agencies have taken a particular liking to me because of my technical skills.

 

How do you guys know if I was lying earlier though? Go ahead and check my electronics, nothing illegal.

[ajb]

I respect my employer, but most of the time, I fear them. I respect them, but I'm usually afraid of them. I really don't know why...

You should not be scared of your employer, okay they hold most of the power and decide if you eat or loose your house this week, if your wife leaves you taking the kids saying that she needs a real man to support her...okay now you have scared me!

 

In more seriousness, it sounds like you have quite a nervous disposition. This could come across as being very shy, which is not too bad, or even as being sneaky as you are constantly worried.

[Phi for All]

So much of basic human interaction is having the confidence to be taken seriously as an equal, not demanding respect but assuming you're worthy of it. A natural, easy, non-forced assumption. When you don't show that basic confidence, it can throw people off and they can treat you strangely because of it.

 

I've seen people who don't know cats very well try to pet them. They often lack the confidence to just reach out normally and let the cat sniff their hand a bit before they scratch behind the ears. Their moves are tentative because they aren't sure if the cat will bite or scratch, so guess what? The cat senses something's wrong, its ears go back flat and it starts to get uneasy about what this person is going to do with that hand and BAM! The cat lashes out because the human was acting funny.

 

It's easy to stress other people out if you're extremely high-maintenance and constantly forcing them to re-evaluate you and your actions.

 

Let me share this little phi-losophy with you. I interpreted this from a Jason Mraz song that spoke to me:

 

Live High. Rise above the pettiness.

Live Mighty. Be valuable to those in your life and draw strength from that.

Live Righteously. Avoid doing things you feel the need to lie about.

[Popcorn Sutton]

I've been contemplating whether or not I should get on disability lately. It really seems like the only option at this point. I'm falling into depression again. Hopefully something pulls through for me. Wish me luck guys.