Blacking out at a party

[Popcorn Sutton]

If you wake up in the morning wondering where you are and hear that you were being an asshole the night before (but not quite an asshole) and was told that you were treating your friend like she was your girlfriend (but not quite like that), should you have anxiety over a night where you completely lack recollection?

 

I didn't know if I should post this but I feel like a complete idiot after last night.

 

I was thinking that someone may have drugged my drink. I had to do a lot of explaining today and I was thinking that people were wayyy over analyzing my behavior. I told them what I was probably thinking (I was treating the girl like family and talking shit with my buddy like he was my brother) and I think it made sense to them afterwards but I still have no recollection of what really happened and that's what is seriously bugging me.

[ajb]

I think we have all had hangovers a bit like that. To quote the movie "The Hangover"

 

Stu: Why do you think we can't remember anything from last night?

Phil: Because obviously we had a great f**ing time!

 

In all seriousness, just apologise where appropriate and don't worry about it. We have all done stupid things when drunk.

[Phi for All]

If you wake up in the morning wondering where you are and hear that you were being an asshole the night before (but not quite an asshole) and was told that you were treating your friend like she was your girlfriend (but not quite like that), should you have anxiety over a night where you completely lack recollection?

 

I didn't know if I should post this but I feel like a complete idiot after last night.

 

I was thinking that someone may have drugged my drink. I had to do a lot of explaining today and I was thinking that people were wayyy over analyzing my behavior. I told them what I was probably thinking (I was treating the girl like family and talking shit with my buddy like he was my brother) and I think it made sense to them afterwards but I still have no recollection of what really happened and that's what is seriously bugging me.

 

I hear a lot of equivocation here, and this is a problem for you, so you know I'm not going to let you get away with it.

 

The problem isn't that you got drunk and mouthed off. The problem is it's never your fault from your perspective, which makes any apology seem insincere. I'll bet this is why your friends are angry.

 

You were told you were being an asshole, but not quite an asshole?! How does that work? You were told you were treating your friend like she was your girlfriend, but not quite?! What does that even mean? Did you hit on her or adopt a cat with her?

 

You think someone MUST have drugged you, it couldn't possibly be the more likely explanation that you drank too much or were in a strange mood or both. What if nobody drugged you, do you think that makes you a bad person for making a bad choice?

 

I have to ask, and I hope you'll take this in the spirit in which its given: do you think this is part of what your friends meant about acting like an asshole? Because it's frustrating to deal with someone who is always right, impervious to blame and well-stocked with reasons why the problems he caused are someone/something else's fault.

 

It's just an unconscious tactic you've learned over time. You can drop it if you choose. It doesn't make you a bad person, but I think it's a bad choice. In this situation, I'd be willing to bet that, if your friends are making a big deal about this, it's because you're trying to blow it off, not because it's really that big a deal. Does that make sense? As ajb says, you should accept that you messed up, apologize sincerely and appropriately and move on.

[Popcorn Sutton]

It is my fault in some way or another and I am having anxiety over it but I seriously only had 6 drinks over a period of 4 to 6 hours. That's partially why it doesn't make sense to me. The other part is that I was fine up until my friend started talking shit to me. We do that sometimes. That's just how we are, but my other friends have never seen me that way so I think that they over analyzed my behavior. The reason my friend Jackie thought that I was acting like her boyfriend was because I wasn't letting people flirt with her. My friend (who isn't quite my friend anymore after my ex left me for him) was making moves on Jackie and I didn't like it because I got beef with him now. Guys hit on Jackie all the time and it's never bugged me before, but apparently I gave the wrong impression.