Mr Rayon Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 How can I become more grateful of the things I do have instead of being envious of the things I don't have?
Phi for All Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Pawn it all, save the money. Only buy back the things you can't live without. Also, every time you see something you want that you can't afford, pretend you used to have one, but you gave it away because it was cursed.
tysapha Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 think of all the things you would not tolerate losing... those are the things you are most grateful for...
Nouveau Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 (edited) Maybe by spending some of your spare time doing voluntary work. Working with those less fortunate can sometimes give you a greater appreciation for the things you actually already have. Seeing how others are coping and surviving with far less often helps to put things into perspective, by actually trying to help out and make their lives a little easier it can also help to improve your own sense of self worth. Lots of people get a real sense of fulfillment from helping others that goes way beyond the ordinary materialistic considerations of consumerism. Often the small sense of satisfaction gleaned from being able to "Keep up with the Jones" is transitory at best and is easy exceeded by the more deeper feelings of making others happy. Also perhaps a mental revaluation, to place a greater emphasis on the things that are really needed in life, as opposed to those merely desired, may help. Edited April 30, 2015 by Nouveau
StringJunky Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Stop watching and reading advertisments; get rid of your telly. 4 or 5 times an hour you are bombarded with envy-inducing adverts. I haven't had one for ten years and felt no materialism since. The only reason you want that flash car, phone, is to hear people say "Oh, that's nice!" and then when everyone you know has complimented you on that, you soon want something else to get that 'fix' of compliments again... ad nauseum. You are conditioned by marketing forces to have constant Acquisition Syndrome. It's what keeps the wheels of modern commerce turning. Buying things constantly because you like them, rather than need them, gives you a false sense of personal progression. Picture yourself near the end of your life, looking back, and think about the things you can and can't take with you; the things you can take with you are all that matters. 1
Phi for All Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Stop watching and reading advertisments; get rid of your telly. 4 or 5 times an hour you are bombarded with envy-inducing adverts. I haven't had one for ten years and felt no materialism since. The only reason you want that flash car, phone, is to hear people say "Oh, that's nice!" and then when everyone you know has complimented you on that, you soon want something else to get that 'fix' of compliments again... ad nauseum. You are conditioned by marketing forces to have constant Acquisition Syndrome. It's what keeps the wheels of modern commerce turning. Buying things constantly because you like them, rather than need them, gives you a false sense of personal progression. I think too many people think they're immune to advertising, like they've seen it all before and there's no way a TV commercial is going to manipulate THEM! Then they find themselves at Bed, Bath, and Beyond buying a device that plucks the stems from strawberries because hey, they might buy some this summer. I'm grateful in that situation that I know how to de-stem strawberries with a paring knife. I actually can't begin to convey how grateful I am I didn't spend money to save a minute each time I have strawberries. Picture yourself near the end of your life, looking back, and think about the things you can and can't take with you; the things you can take with you are all that matters. Where am I taking these things? A friend of a friend passed away recently, and my friend was telling me about all the stuff this woman had saved for her kids, wanting them to have pieces of family history to pass down to their children. The kids kept the jewelry, but hired an auction house, didn't even look at any of rest of the stuff, and promptly sold it all for cash.
Nouveau Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 I think too many people think they're immune to advertising, like they've seen it all before and there's no way a TV commercial is going to manipulate THEM! Then they find themselves at Bed, Bath, and Beyond buying a device that plucks the stems from strawberries because hey, they might buy some this summer. I'm grateful in that situation that I know how to de-stem strawberries with a paring knife. I actually can't begin to convey how grateful I am I didn't spend money to save a minute each time I have strawberries. What you have here is a situation where advertisers are playing on the desire that most us have for aquiring that sense of achievement, that we have somehow done something productive that will improve our future. Whilst ever people are getting this sense of satisfaction from buying useless "stuff" then the advertisers will continue to exploit the situation. I think that if people are in search of the feelings offered from buying things then they really need a realistic alternative that can give them the satisfaction they are craving, a way of achieving it in a more positive and a more permanent way that will also encourage them to feel better about themselves. Simply buying things offers a rather hollow solution to the real desires that are often motivating such behaviour in the first place. It can also lead to compulsive shopping and adictive behavioural patterns. Genuine satisfaction and such feelings stem from acts of real achievement, effort or kindness and just arn't replicable no matter how much "retail therapy" is practiced.
StringJunky Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 ...Where am I taking these things? You are not going anywhere, so, can't take anything material. You've lived your life properly if your mind is full of worthwhile memories... and your body is totally run into the ground! I can never get my head around the American penchant for pursuing unrealistic youthful looks at 60+; who wants to die with a perfect body, only for it be incinerated or left to decompose?! Society needs to value experience/s and wisdom more. A friend of a friend passed away recently, and my friend was telling me about all the stuff this woman had saved for her kids, wanting them to have pieces of family history to pass down to their children. The kids kept the jewelry, but hired an auction house, didn't even look at any of rest of the stuff, and promptly sold it all for cash. In a way, their behaviour proves that material things don't matter, and one should never expect others to feel the same way about material things that you did. Saving things for future generations is a pretty futile exercise in this fast-turnover world. Inheritance is all about monetary value and it sucks, irrespective of generation.
Phi for All Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 You are not going anywhere, so, can't take anything material. You've lived your life properly if your mind is full of worthwhile memories... and your body is totally run into the ground! I can never get my head around the American penchant for pursuing unrealistic youthful looks at 60+; who wants to die with a perfect body, only for it be incinerated or left to decompose?! Society needs to value experience/s and wisdom more. I agree. "Things" don't have to be stuff, it could be good health and an active social life. And beyond keeping your weight down (because you rarely see a fat 80 year old), how you look at 60 shouldn't be an obsession. In a way, their behaviour proves that material things don't matter, and one should never expect others to feel the same way about material things that you did. Saving things for future generations is a pretty futile exercise in this fast-turnover world. Inheritance is all about monetary value and it sucks, irrespective of generation. Do you think the phrase, "It's been in my family for generations" is becoming obsolete? Other than artwork, jewelry, firearms, and timepieces (maybe, maybe furniture), most stuff that people keep to pass along has more sentimental value than anything else. And sentiment doesn't last much past a couple of generations. Saving up to buy stuff used to be a bigger deal, and I think it made us more appreciative when we finally got it. I've gotten bad about saving up to get better quality than I can afford to buy NOW. Intellectually, I know I appreciate using a top-quality tool much more than a cheap version. I've thrown away more cheap ratchet screwdrivers than I care to talk about. Nowadays, it seems to be all about convenience of purchase, and I forget about how inconvenient it always is when the cheap piece of shit breaks right in the middle of putting together my cheap desk.
Acme Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 ... Do you think the phrase, "It's been in my family for generations" is becoming obsolete? Other than artwork, jewelry, firearms, and timepieces (maybe, maybe furniture), most stuff that people keep to pass along has more sentimental value than anything else. And sentiment doesn't last much past a couple of generations. Can we talk!? I literally shout "you idiot" at the TV when I'm watching the Antiques Road Show and some person who has just been told their treasured passed-down possession is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars says, "But we'll keep it in the family." Hell, they don't know if they or their family will even be alive tomorrow. Some peoples' kids. Sell it!! Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow you may die. Saving up to buy stuff used to be a bigger deal, and I think it made us more appreciative when we finally got it. I've gotten bad about saving up to get better quality than I can afford to buy NOW. Intellectually, I know I appreciate using a top-quality tool much more than a cheap version. I've thrown away more cheap ratchet screwdrivers than I care to talk about. Nowadays, it seems to be all about convenience of purchase, and I forget about how inconvenient it always is when the cheap piece of shit breaks right in the middle of putting together my cheap desk.After a house fire a couple decades ago I started accumulating and keeping less, and appreciating what I acquired and kept more. Arguably a desk is a tool, but mine is just a board, whereas my hand tools tend to high quality and old age. From a library of hundreds of volumes I now have fewer than 25. Everything that I have worth keeping I can fit in my car, though not everything I have is worth keeping. Nobody is perfect. To Mr. Ray and "How can I become more grateful of the things I do have instead of being envious of the things I don't have?" Just ask that question of yourself every time you are confronted with "things" and the gratefulness may follow.
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