Are there any empathics here?

[Fortuna]

Nevermore,

 

I see no difference. It is a conditioned response to others in the environment. Further, we know that empathy can be chemically induced. How is this empathy therefore any different than a phobia, from a conditioned response pov ?

 

I suggest that it can be treated exactly like a phobia, and that it might be treated with the right meds.

[Coral Rhedd]

In order to cure the problem of empathy, perhaps we should study sociopaths' brains. It is alleged they have none.

 

Bettina's "symptoms" resemble flashbacks so I suppose that they might be treated the same way as OCD. Don't they now often use SSRIs for OCD? Since Bettina prefers not to use drugs, she could use a seratonagenic supplement such as 5-HTP.

 

Which would be my choice over an SSRI if at all possible. I have used 5-HTP for depression and it was helpful. As long as we are getting a little prescriptive, good nutrition can be tweaked so that food has certain effects on the brain. For instance, if she has these problems more in the evening and they are interfering with her sleep (which could exacerbate her overempathizing) she could eat high protein during the day and consume complex carbohydrates in the evening.

[Bettina]

If you wish to think of it this way' date=' you might ask yourself is if what you experience is indeed a conditioned response to the clues of sadness and pain in those around you.(Even in your Jessica encounter could have been a conditioned response produced by the news story). When you sense this sadness and misfortune you respond by becoming empathetic, like the boy who was physically frightened by the dogs. It also seems as if you have also become selective.

?[/quote']

 

Thank you for the input, I thought a lot about what you said but I'm having trouble relating my problem to the dog analogy. In the dog example, the young boy got over his fears by eventually playing with dogs. Mine is different. I would have to try to understand the mind of a rapist and murderer which is something I can't do.

 

The "Jessica episode" was only one of many with many many before that. Carly Brucia was before that and before that all the others who were young victims of brutality who were helpless to protect themselves. With Jessica, I ended up becoming her and like I said in my other posts, I felt what she was feeling as if it was happening to me.

 

This episode was more intense than any other I've ever experienced and it scared me to the point of almost throwing up several times. Yes, I cried too, but I was crying for her and the others before her. I was NOT crying for me.

 

The other vibes I get are from old people like I previously posted. Not all, just some. I can feel there pain. Not physically, but emotionally.

 

All of the posters here have given me words like OCD, PODS, or whatever, and I look at them all. I check the descriptions and read as much as I can get about them. BUT, none so far seem to fit me. I am happy most of the time.

 

One thing I know for sure......I can fully be the person I'm thinking about or seeing at the moment. I can take on their pain, there suffering, and there horror too. If I look at them long enough, I can become them without anyone ever knowing. If you saw me, you would see a person who is just not feeling well that day. But inside me, its overwhelming.

 

Jessica occupys only a small part of my brain now and is no longer a problem. I just want my problem solved before the next one. I just hope the doctor doesn't tell me there is something wrong with my brain like in the movies. I'm really scared about that big time

 

Bettina

[Flareon]

Thank you for the input, I thought a lot about what you said but I'm having trouble relating my problem to the dog analogy. In the dog example, the young boy got over his fears by eventually playing with dogs. Mine is different. I would have to try to understand the mind of a rapist and murderer which is something I can't do.

 

No, the example means that you could then watch a news segment about a rapist and not have a crying fit. The concept would be desensitization, not understanding.

 

Behavior modication (perhaps even supplemented by cognitive shaping) is one of the most effective (and least invasive I might add) treatments there are. You shouldn't reject a suggestion without at least considering it.

[Coral Rhedd]

Bettina, why do you watch the news if this stuff upsets you? If you avoid the trigger then you will be less likely to have the problem. I cannot believe you would have empathized with Jessica if you did not know about Jessica. It seems to me that the fact that you know about so many of these cases means that you are paying too much attention to news of this type.

 

To be blunt, child sexual abuse occurs so frequently that it is probably happening in your neighborhood right now. You are not aware of it because it is cunning and secretive. I will believe you are having some sort of extraordinary "sense" experience when you know of these things happening without the news triggering it.

 

If you have some sort of affinity for murder, may I suggest getting your news from The News Hour on PBS, where you can learn about real government issues, the economy, educational and scientific advances. You can avoid all that gore. Just don't watch those sleazy but popular news "magazines" that populate mainstream television. They are mostly sensationalism and crap.

 

If you really want to learn about these issues begin with the book Predators by Anna Salter. Read some psychology journals at your local college or university. Look into how the law has dealt with the problem of dangerous predators. The State of Washington has been very much in the forefront of realistic legal remedies. In short, if you don't wallow in media that pander to our fears, you won't come up stinking with fear.

 

It is in your power to turn your back upon the more disturbing aspects of this violence and attempt some real understanding. You got lemons? Make some lemonade!

 

The overdramatization of cases like these is one of the things that blunts the chances of real life solutions. Many of these predators started out with neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, or psychological disturbances in their background. Attack the root and you destroy the weed. How much less exciting it is to know that a murder like Henry Lee Lucas simply had a mother who took strange men into her home for sex on a regular basis and verbally abused Henry Lee? From such experiences grow evil. Evil grows from the mundane brutality of careless parents and a careless society.

 

Sandi, had a good idea. Get involved in some charitable or volunteer work that makes the lives of children better. (Stay away then from those old folks who trigger you.) The prevention of future child murders and murderers depends upon the caring adults who plant resilient elements in the lives of children.

[ensonik]

That's the best advice I've read in this thread so far.

[Flareon]

I agree. I'd pay to hear advice like that.

[Coral Rhedd]

Thanks. I'll take ten bucks apiece.

[Bettina]

Bettina' date=' why do you watch the news if this stuff upsets you? If you avoid the trigger then you will be less likely to have the problem. I cannot believe you would have empathized with Jessica if you did not know about Jessica. It seems to me that the fact that you know about so many of these cases means that you are paying too much attention to news of this type.

[/quote']

 

Thank you. I read every word of every post of people trying to help me. I thank you all for that.

 

The news is everywhere. On the TV, radio, and internet. I can't stay immune to it all the time. For example, I first heard of the "Jessica" thing via an "Amber Alert" that appeared on the page I was viewing at the time. I didn't go look for it, and I dont have an affinity or wallow in anything like that.

 

When I first go on to the internet, I always look at CNN to see how our troops are doing in Iraq. I don't want to be insensitive to that. Jessica was right there and I was caught.

 

When the news of a child or teenager comes on, I am attuned to that because I am a teenager and I am drawn to it immediately.

 

I don't want to have to live my life in a cocoon shielded from the world around me. I can't go thru life like that, but I know what you are telling me.

 

Bettina

 

Edit: Now I have Sandi on my mind, but in a hopeful way.

[reverse]

I have always wondered about this side of human perception.

 

And always tried to thinks of ways one person could transmit their feelings to another person.

 

You see someone yawn , you yawn, you see someone laugh you laugh…lots of that sort of stuff goes on all the time without us having much conscious control over it.

 

As a male I’m sort of genetically predisposed to not pick up on the minute flickers of an eyelid or slight flinch in a little finger.

We males have a thick hide in that area.

But some people are hyper tuned to these sort of signals and do in a real sense feel the emotion that the other person is feeling.

They are sort of emotional mirrors.

The word Empath is possibly a bit strong for this situation though.

 

I often speculate that shy people are shy because they are very sensitive to all those almost imperceptible cues generated by other people and the intensity almost swamps them to the point they prefer to be in quiet situations.

 

So what I guess I’m trying to say to you is that you may just be sensitive,

and that it may be linked to your age and situation,

it may pass and you may get better at dealing with it.

 

Seeing a doctor never hurt either.

 

Good luck.

[Bettina]

Well, I went to the physchiatrist this afternoon with my dad, and it didn't go well for me at all. Dad came in with me and after about 5 minutes the doctor told him he would have to go to the waiting room which made me a little nervous, to say the least. I wanted him to be there with me, but she said no.

 

She sat across from me but wasn't too close and not at her desk. We talked about school, my singing, hobbies, the mall, my other hangouts, my taste in clothes, etc. I guess this was the warming up part. She had my medical records and blood work, and now wants to get my school records too, After a few more school questions, she started asking me these that I wasn't prepared for.

 

-Did my parents or anyone else ever abuse me physically....No.

-Have I experimented with, have, or currently taking any drugs.....No.

-Am I sexually active.....NO!

-Do I ever think of females as sexual partners...NO!

-Do I think of boys....well....yes.

-Do I drink....No....Smoke, No.

-Do I think about hurting myself.... Geez no...

-Do I think about hurting someone else....NO!

-Do I have nightmares often....No, but sometimes.

 

After more of these one liners, she got up and went to her desk and began typing something on her computer. Then she sat back, looked directly at me, and wanted the whole story of why I think I need to be here. I told her all of it. Christmas, seniors, how I pick things up from people, all of it.... Funny.....it took me only about 10 minutes to explain everything....my whole life was told in 10 minutes.

 

She then started pressing me on my mothers relationship with me. I never told her about my mother, and later my dad told me he never said anything either, so I think she got it from my GP. I wasn't prepared for this kind of questioning.... do I blame myself for her walking out on me, do I blame my father, etc, and when we were well into that I was starting to get very

uncomfortable because of the material she was asking me about my mother. It was getting very very personal and I began to tear up which was the last thing I wanted to do in front of her. I didn't think it was going to be like this and I told her that too. She came over and sat down beside me....real close now and thats when I couldn't hold it in anymore. I'm not weak, but she really knows how to get you going.

 

After calming down, I told her that whenever I get these episodes with seniors, children or animals, my mother is the last thing on my mind, and I don't want her to think that I still think of her, because I don't. I don't hate her either. I just don't want her to go down that avenue and blame it all on the relationship I had with her.

 

I was here because I just want to know why I become Jessica, whenever a Jessica situation comes my way, why I become all those other people too and why I feel them so intensly to the point of throwing up and becoming sick to my stomach for days, and why do I know that some people are trying to communicate with me. If she didn't think I was a mental case then, she surely must think that now.

 

There were a lot more questions and whenever I answered, she was clicking things with her mouse. If she is doing an online quiz, I could have done that too and saved the trouble of going there. Anyway, the whole appointment took 45 minutes and when I asked her what she thought, she said it was too early to make a diagnosis and that she wanted to look up some things and talk to another Doctor. However, she thinks I have a combination of symptoms, not just one. She mentioned Posttraumatic Stress, and other disorders I don't even remember. I have to go back next Tuesday but in the meantime she wants me to take a low dose of Fluoxetine for awhile.

 

This is not working out for me and I don't feel well now. If any of you are interning in psychiatry, I could still use some opinions, or an online place to go that isn't on the quack side.

 

Bettina

[Coral Rhedd]

Bettina, here is a link on PTSD:

 

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts/general/fs_what_is_ptsd.html

 

It will give you some general information.

 

Emotional trauma causes PTSD. I have know people who have had PTSD who do not remember what the original stressor was if it happened to them when they were quite young. Don't discount it just because you have no traumatic memories.

 

The drug you have been prescribed is an SSRI antidepressant. It may help you get better, but if it seems to be making you worse, if you should have strange, almost psychotic thougts, or if you should get suicidal thoughts, or if you should feel much worse, you should notify your psychologist immediately.

 

While you are taking it, I would like to suggest some adjustments in your diet. Do not eat sweets or really starchy foods like white bread, especially in the evenings. Do not overeat fatty foods, and maintain a regular exercise program.

 

About the psychologist wanting you to talk about your mother: This is not odd at all. As to her writing in the computer, she is just taking a history. She sees many patients every week. She could not possibly recall all that they tell her. It is conscientious that she wants to get a good history.

[reverse]

I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for us to be giving you advice in such matters, because we don’t have the entire picture.

 

From your posts you seem like an intelligent normal young lady.

 

Can I ask you where you first heard the word empathic and what you think it means.

[Bettina]

I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for us to be giving you advice in such matters' date=' because we don’t have the entire picture.

 

From your posts you seem like an intelligent normal young lady.

 

Can I ask you where you first heard the word empathic and what you think it means.[/quote']

 

A doctor mentioned the name to my dad several years ago when I was seeing him. Only its getting worse.

 

Bettina

[reverse]

That is curious.

It seems irregular for a doctor to use such words.

 

I will explain what I think is the current wisdom on feelings and the way they attach themselves to daily events.

 

Each time you see or hear something it is stored in your mind as a memory

Your level of attention is one of the factors determining how strong the memory is.

As it is stored, your mind attaches feelings to that memory trace.

 

At times of stress you will attach greater feelings to normal events than most people around you would.

 

You might notice this as,

a friend being particularly touchy and overreacting to comment you make with no intention of being mean or rude.

 

It is thought that people who claim their family has been replaced by impostors have had some break in the feeling to memory link system.

The impostors look like their family but somehow they don’t feel like their family.

 

There are a very few rare individuals at the other end of the scale who attach extremely strong emotions to the most every day events.

 

These are very rare indeed.

 

A thing I have found that works particularly well with a friend of mine is to :

 

get away from things inside your head,

and put your self into your body,

and do some form of physical activity that you enjoy.

 

It might be swimming or Skiing or even basketball.

Get that pulse up and get yourself operating at a primal level and give your mind a small holiday.

[Bettina]

Reverse....I PM'd you...

 

Bettina

[reverse]

that’s very curious.

 

I have always kept a close eye on the paranormal,

and to be honest with you,

as much as I want to find evidence to support direct communication,

none of the tests done have shown even the slightest hint that it exists.

 

so current wisdom would suggest that you can insert your free will in between your being aware of the stimulus and your reaction to it.

 

you may get only the slightest hint of control to start with but it's like that thin end of the wedge story.

You can split a massive boulder if you can just find a small gap to hammer a wedge into.

 

If it's stopping you from having a normal day, you must try and teach yourself coping mechanisms.

 

good luck.

[Bettina]

that’s very curious.

 

I have always kept a close eye on the paranormal' date='

and to be honest with you,

as much as I want to find evidence to support direct communication,

none of the tests done have shown even the slightest hint that it exists.

 

so current wisdom would suggest that you can insert your free will in between your being aware of the stimulus and your reaction to it.

 

you may get only the slightest hint of control to start with but it's like that thin end of the wedge story.

You can split a massive boulder if you can just find a small gap to hammer a wedge into.

 

If it's stopping you from having a normal day, you must try and teach yourself coping mechanisms.

 

good luck.[/quote']

 

Grrrrrr.......Where did you get "paranormal" from? I never mentioned that word once. I don't believe in it. The reason there is no evidence of telepathy is because its all bull. Nothing but tricks which usually involves two or more people working together.

 

I scour the internet every night looking for a forum that maybe has someone like me in it that understands, or doesn't think I'm nuts, but as soon as I spot the word telepath, or words of that ilk, I bail out and go to the next site. I just want to find someone like me.

 

These pills I'm taking now make me feel funny, like a different me, and since I'm in the upbeat mode now anyway, its seems a big waste for me to take them.....but I do.

 

Bettina

[Coral Rhedd]

 

 

It is thought that people who claim their family has been replaced by impostors have had some break in the feeling to memory link system.

The impostors look like their family but somehow they don’t feel like their family.

 

Now this is interesting Reverse. Is there a name for this? I might want to do some research. I always fantasized that I was adopted, even though I looked very much like my parents.

[Coral Rhedd]

Grrrrrr.......Where did you get "paranormal" from? I never mentioned that word once. I don't believe in it. The reason there is no evidence of telepathy is because its all bull. Nothing but tricks which usually involves two or more people working together.

 

Bettina, how else can one characterize what you are saying you are experiencing. You are saying practically that you were inside a murdered girl's body and experienced every thing she experienced. This is not normal experience. It goes beyond empathy.

 

Let's say you get two choices to characterize your experience, normal and paranormal. So where does it fit?

[Bettina]

Bettina' date=' how else can one characterize what you are saying you are experiencing. You are saying practically that you were inside a murdered girl's body and experienced every thing she experienced. This is not normal experience. It goes beyond empathy.

 

Let's say you get two choices to characterize your experience, normal and paranormal. So where does it fit?[/quote']

 

I don't know. Thats why I'm seeing a physchiatrist. Maybe she knows. But, being vividly "inside" something, and sometimes getting sick over it, is a fact thats been with me all my life, and its not one of the two choices you mentioned. There is no paranormal stuff except at magic shows. That is a fact that keeps me from going crazy.

 

Bettina

[reverse]

look no offence intended.

 

I just want you to be happy.

 

Yes that's the problem with medication; it has more than just the desired effect.

 

Will you do me a favour?

will you spend at least half an hour a day doing some physical activity that you enjoy that gets your pulse rate up to over 110 bpm.

 

that’s going to give your brain a rest, make your metabolism work better , make you sleep better and reduce your overall stress level.

[Coral Rhedd]

Reverse is right. Aerobic exercise has been shown to have almost as good an effect on people as antidepressant medications.

[Bettina]

look no offence intended.

 

I just want you to be happy.

 

Yes that's the problem with medication; it has more than just the desired effect.

 

Will you do me a favour?

will you spend at least half an hour a day doing some physical activity that you enjoy that gets your pulse rate up to over 110 bpm.

 

that’s going to give your brain a rest' date=' make your metabolism work better , make you sleep better and reduce your overall stress level.[/quote']

 

Ok....I do jog and ride a bike, but maybe I'll do more.

 

Just 4 U.....and U have nvr offended me.

[reverse]

Thank you.

 

The best of luck.