Bettina Posted April 13, 2005 Author Posted April 13, 2005 Well, I saw her again today, and I told her I'm feeling different. So, I have to take another blood test . We talked again for another 45 minutes and a ton of questions/responses flew by as she kept typing. I told her I was sick again when I found more news about Jessica, but she didn't say one word about it. Eventually she sat back and discussed how the chemicals in the brain work and how the pills I'm taking don't work that fast. etc etc. She wants to see me again, but may refer me to a psychotherapist friend of hers. Just what I didn't want. She let some major words fly over me, and talked about how my brain sees an event, my emotions rise, then my mind builds a story to fit, then applies it to the event causing me to become depressed. She said some people can do this very accurately and I may be one of those people.....or something along those lines. I don't know, I just wasn't listening that well even though we talked a lot. She is nice, but she doesn't come down to my level. All this is difficult to understand. When it was time to go she came up to me and said point blank that I'm not a mental case since I used that word to her more than once. She wanted to me to get that straight from her and I have to keep taking the pills even though I feel different. Those 45 minutes seemed like 15 this time. Not like last time. Hope you don't mind, I feel good telling someone this. Bettina
Coral Rhedd Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Well' date=' I saw her again today, and I told her I'm feeling different. When it was time to go she came up to me and said point blank that I'm not a mental case since I used that word to her more than once. She wanted to me to get that straight from her and I have to keep taking the pills even though I feel different. Those 45 minutes seemed like 15 this time. Not like last time. Hope you don't mind, I feel good telling someone this. Bettina[/quote'] What do you mean when you say you "feel different?" Psychotherapy can be a positive experience.
Bettina Posted April 13, 2005 Author Posted April 13, 2005 What do you mean when you say you "feel different?" Psychotherapy can be a positive experience. I don't know....just different. Not suicidal if thats what you mean.....I just can't explain it, but I feel like I'm not me sometimes. All started with these pills. Bettina
Coral Rhedd Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 I don't know....just different. Not suicidal if thats what you mean.....I just can't explain it' date=' but I feel like I'm not me sometimes. All started with these pills. Bettina[/quote'] I know what you mean. I started Paxil about two weeks before my grandmother died. When she died and I went to her funeral, I felt remote from grief. I was able to ignore my parents bickering. I slept a bunch. Ultimately, that medication turned out to be very bad for me. It was an SSRI, similar to what you are taking. People react very individually to medication that works on the brain. What matters is if your reaction is positive or negative. The pills do have an effect soon after you begin taking them. What your psychiatrist means is that they do not yet have a theraputic effect. Psychiatrists are sometimes reluctant to acknowledge anything else. Therefore, you have to be a proactive consumer of medication and decide if it is doing you good. You will best be able to judge about 6 weeks from now. What is very important is that you do not just quit the medication without telling the psychiatrist. If you decide it is not for you, it is very important that you taper off slowly -- very slowly. I hope it is a good medication for you, and you should try to think positive about it unless you have clear reason to think otherwise.
Nevermore Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Well, what are the aformentioned pills? SSRI? 5-HTP? Somthing else?
Bettina Posted April 13, 2005 Author Posted April 13, 2005 Well, what are the aformentioned pills? SSRI? 5-HTP? Somthing else? It was in my post 86....Fluoxetine Bettina
Nevermore Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Oh, fluoxetine is Prozac. An anti depressant. Felling like someone else is a common complaint of Prozac. I strongly reccomend Zoloft instead. It gets the job done much better, and won't make you feel like someone else. I'm on Zoloft for Depression and OCD, it works perfectly.
Bettina Posted April 13, 2005 Author Posted April 13, 2005 I'm not a pill popper, and I don't even like taking these but I have too.....I think. All I know is that I don't feel the same. Grrrr. Bettina
ed84c Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 hmm, your body is producing a chemical that the prozac is stopping. Its just like using a cloth th wrap around a leaky pipe. If a pipe could speak, would it complain about the cloth not being copper?
mike90 Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Helllo Bettina, ive skimmed over your story a bit here. i am also an empath so i understand what your going through, though mine doesnt react as strongly as yours usually. I hope you dont stay on medication too long, the docs tried that on me and most of the other empaths i know and it doesnt work at alll, rather it is more a matter of learning control which can be quite difficult. I hope you will continue to post your progress. You are not alone.
Bettina Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Helllo Bettina, ive skimmed over your story a bit here. i am also an empath so i understand what your going through, though mine doesnt react as strongly as yours usually. I hope you dont stay on medication too long, the docs tried that on me and most of the other empaths i know and it doesnt work at alll, rather it is more a matter of learning control which can be quite difficult. I hope you will continue to post your progress. You are not alone. Thanks...Its nice to hear from someone going thru what I go thru. It has been quiet for awhile, I've been running a lot now and it seems to help. The physiciatrist is done with me. She admits I am highly emotional, highly intuitive, and in her words "have a superior skill at reading others peoples emotions". She says I have the characteristics of PTSD but doesn't fully understand the results she gets. So, she is sending me to a Physcoanalyst friend of hers. She won't show me what she has on me, and is forwarding the paperwork to the other guy. I have to stay on the meds until the new guy determines otherwise. This is getting very boring for me to spend 45 minutes just talking about life. I knew she wasn't going to be able to help me and I was right. The meds don't do anything for me except in the beginning they made me feel different. Now they seem to do nothing. I know what I am.....(and she never used the word once and neither did I) its just that I don't think they have a way to stop it...and I would like to stop it. I'm frightened being inside other things. I just want to be inside me. I'm on a teen depression forum, and a Physco online forum, but neither of them are any help. The teen one is full of pill poppers. Not for me. One thing I will admit though, the last two girls that got killed, didn't get to me like the others, but then...they didn't suffer either. Bettina
Guest spinelli Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 hi... I have always been sensitive and very empathetic. Although it is normal for all people to be empathetic, for empaths I think the difference is that sometimes it's hard to tell whether you are reflecting their feelings or if it is you that is upset or whateever. I always thought it was natural and that was just how people kept eachother company - by feeling together. In my experience of it, part of being empathic has been being able to understand how people feel and express it back to them - this sometimes makes people feel like you are reading their mind, but really you are reading their words and actions. The other thing I have noticed is that things.. emotions and experiences that people try to keep inside fall out of them if I am around and open - not that I do anything special to solicit it, they just talk. The down sides to being an empath is the stress and sometimes confusion about what I am feeling and why. I also shut down and isolate myself sometimes, so I can take care of myself. And thinking that it was normal to emotionally keep people company, I often felt lonely and abandonded because I could connect with the people around me, but they never connected with me... and when I tried to open up about my own things it felt like I was too open. It seemed like people were glad to have help working out their stuff and then they would leave, and I felt used. I'm still sensitive, but I found that one of the only ways to deal with it was to care less. It seems that sensitive empaths also tend to feel more hurt, or get hurt more and I am wondering if there is counselling for this, or tools that help stay grounded and build boundaries without compete isolation or building walls... so I can care about people without falling into them... or taking them on so much... I've been put on several anti-depressants and seen counsellors... the dullness that coems over me on the antidepressants made it hard to do anything, but I didn't feel well or fixed - just not like me, and helping the counsellors explain themselves was sometimes seen as being argumentative, or sometimes I ended up counselling them and they felt good about "our progress". I understand how you feel... I am still searching for pill free solutions...
IFeelYa Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 There is absolutely no possible way for a person to feel other peoples emotions' date=' literally.Emotions are caused by chemical reactions? How can you feel these when it is happening to somebody else? Empathy is the result of several complex subconsious and consious desicions. Minute facial muscles contracting/stance/tone of voice ect, icammot but this any other way, so i'll be blunt, this has to be some form of delusion, possibly caused by your conflicting desires to be different, and everybody to be the same. You are constantly forcing yourself to be the outsider looking in, because this makes you happy. When you say you can look into peoples eyes and feel what they! Are you perhaps bored when you do this?Sounds like an overactive imagineation. This person you saw, should not have given you pills. Undoubtedly though they were placebos, and this sleepiness you felt was undoubtedly the strain of therapy, and your - for want of a better word - your imagineation. Why not try listening to classical music, Puccini is a good start, as this can be very theraputic. The fact is though, that you have convinced yourself that you can do this, and are unwilling to let go.[/quote'] I am curious; what makes you an expert on this subject. I think you are wrong.
Bettina Posted June 12, 2005 Author Posted June 12, 2005 hi... I have always been sensitive and very empathetic. Although it is normal for all people to be empathetic' date=' for empaths I think the difference is that sometimes it's hard to tell whether you are reflecting their feelings or if it is you that is upset or whateever. I always thought it was natural and that was just how people kept eachother company - by feeling together. In my experience of it, part of being empathic has been being able to understand how people feel and express it back to them - this sometimes makes people feel like you are reading their mind, but really you are reading their words and actions. The other thing I have noticed is that things.. emotions and experiences that people try to keep inside fall out of them if I am around and open - not that I do anything special to solicit it, they just talk. The down sides to being an empath is the stress and sometimes confusion about what I am feeling and why. I also shut down and isolate myself sometimes, so I can take care of myself. And thinking that it was normal to emotionally keep people company, I often felt lonely and abandonded because I could connect with the people around me, but they never connected with me... and when I tried to open up about my own things it felt like I was too open. It seemed like people were glad to have help working out their stuff and then they would leave, and I felt used. I'm still sensitive, but I found that one of the only ways to deal with it was to care less. It seems that sensitive empaths also tend to feel more hurt, or get hurt more and I am wondering if there is counselling for this, or tools that help stay grounded and build boundaries without compete isolation or building walls... so I can care about people without falling into them... or taking them on so much... I've been put on several anti-depressants and seen counsellors... the dullness that coems over me on the antidepressants made it hard to do anything, but I didn't feel well or fixed - just not like me, and helping the counsellors explain themselves was sometimes seen as being argumentative, or sometimes I ended up counselling them and they felt good about "our progress". I understand how you feel... I am still searching for pill free solutions... [/quote'] Thanks. I'm learning a lot since I began "therapy" with a Physcoanalyst. After listening to my life story and what I "see", He keeps talking about an MRI which I flatly refuse to do. I have been researching this on my own, for example, taking all the online empathy tests and have a score of 100 on every one. I take that with a grain of salt though. Now, however, I've been researching the "theory of mind" stuff like this link below. I got hold of some italian documents too that tells of a researcher who has done some serious studys. http://www.unipr.it/arpa/mirror/pubs/pdffiles/Umilta-Kohler%202001.pdf I've been slowly putting the pieces of what I see and feel together with hopes of turning it off. I don't mind being sensitive, I just don't like becoming the person (here is the stupid part) that I get "in touch" with. I don't know about you, but I get scared sometimes, and other times get sick. Do you get inside?......I've been free lately, but it will happen again and soon. Bettina
Nevermore Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 He keeps talking about an MRI which I flatly refuse to do. why?
IFeelYa Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 Hello Bettina and everyone else who is taking part of this discussion- I am an Empath. I am elated to finally find someone who is like me! Bettina- when I started to read your messages I was immediately overwhelmed with waves of emotion! I wept! I don't know if I wept more for the pain and confusion you are going through(which was like living my teen years all over again), or for the relief I felt knowing I am not the only one. I think maybe both. I want to try to explain all the different aspects of how this has effected my life. It is so hard! I want to talk about it, but, that means opening up to my own pain. Have some patience and I'll do my best. First of all I think I have always known I was empathic. I didn't even know others used this word. I typed it in to google on a lark. I didn't think I would actually find any answers or leads to follow. This is a part of my life that I have never let anyone in on before. I always thought people would call me crazy. Probably because that is how I have felt for my whole life. Different. Overly sensitive. I thought I was emotionally unstable. I don't know if it is a blessing or a curse. My empathy works the same as yours, but I live it differently. Here is my story in a nut shell... Basically, when I was ten years old, my mother became terminally ill with cancer. (I believe she too was empathic. )That is the point in my life where I began to retreat.( I know the people who dont have this "gift(?)" are saying PTSD. I am here to tell you that is not it!) I shut off my feelings. It was a defense mechanism. I didn't do it, my brain did it for me. I know you wish you could do this, Bettina. I am not sure that is the healthy answer. It is very difficult for me to stand on the thin line of mostly normal and empathic. I spent my life from age 19 to age 30 on "meds". Like I said. I thought I was crazy! I never told the doctors what I actually was feeling though. I know you understand this. I used stories of depression. And I was depressed. I am an exceptionally emotional person as it is. But, when you take on everyone elses feelings, stash them away as best you can, and try to go on; well, it's like the previous message where someone was talking about fixing a leak with a cloth, eventually some leaks out. I know the people not like us are saying that we are making the choice to take it on. Again I say, they just don't live it like we do. Sometimes, I do choose to let some of it in. I mostly do this when I feel my emotional gas tank over filling. I can let enough in to get a good cry as a means of release. On the other hand, sometimes, I have no choice. I lock eyes with a person and just know how they feel. Or music will crush me emotionally. Sometimes it is a well acted performance. I try to limit it. It's not always possible. So, I stuff it. I was going to say I have learned to shut most of it out, but thats not right. that happens automatically, subconsciously. Not always. Jeez, this is hard to explain! Anyway, it changes me. All that emotion inside of me trying to find a release messes up my personality, or if not that, then it greatly alters my mood. So here I am at age 32 and I am back on meds for the first time in years. I don't want to be. I hate the way it makes me feel like I am operating my life through a layer of gauze. But, I need the help right now. For some reason, at this point, I am not able to dull the vibes that the world is throwing me. I tried to self medicate. Heck, I still do that a bit. I'm not sure that is the answer either, and I am certainly not recommending you try it. Here is the thing- I want to live "med" free! I want to learn how to turn all this into a blessing. Somewhere deep inside I do believe this is a gift! I am waiting to find the person that can teach me to harness my abilities, and use them to help others! I need a break from this. I will be back to look for you Bettina! I Feel Ya!
Bettina Posted June 12, 2005 Author Posted June 12, 2005 why? Because I'm afraid of what they might find... Bettina
Bettina Posted June 12, 2005 Author Posted June 12, 2005 I am curious; what makes you an expert on this subject. I think you are wrong. He's not. He is simply one that doesn't understand and has taken a dislike for me, so I had to place him on my ignore list. I will talk to you later about your other post. Bettina
HonorableOne Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 well I'm a empath, I look at photos of people and feel what they feel and even pick up on thoughts in the present time. I have chatted and related to thousands of ghosts of everything from dead people to dead bugs. I am so sick right now from relating as an empath to thousands of living people and departed ones I can only guess as to why that happened. It started off great thirty years or so ago looking in the mirror and seeing blonde girls who I emotionally comforted, but in went haywire in the last 7 years transcending the common telepathic subconscious jetstream. I heard so many incoming "little voices" in my head the last few months, I'm surprized (happily) that I could even sort my thinking out from everyone elses (dead or alive). I get sick because other people are sick, they just don't feel their sickness which comes in on the reception of their other feelings AND words. I'm getting so I don't even want to ever "hear" another person think the rest of my life unless they are unpolluted and only think good thoughts. I'm so tired of other peoples focus on negative past misery, it's all I can do to wish all you empaths (often refered to as bi-polar and scheizoids) a happy future being a human radio receiver!!!! Bye for now, luv ya... btw - how do i get a picture under my name like the rest of you "normal nuts", and what does Lepton mean under my name, is that a town in Louisiana or something? I'd rather have Neptune or something like that....
atinymonkey Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 Oh, quick, go to http://www.randi.org/research/ and get your million dollars! Run! ! !!"21
Bettina Posted June 13, 2005 Author Posted June 13, 2005 Oh, quick, go to http://www.randi.org/research/[/url'] and get your million dollars! Run! ! !!"21 Nobody will ever do that. I don't believe in the quacks that say they can move objects, talk to qhosts, bend spoons, and travel thru wires. I saw this years ago and thought it was Kool... You would think that would shut them up but it doesn't.... Bettina
Bettina Posted June 13, 2005 Author Posted June 13, 2005 IFEELYA..... In many respects you are like me. Mine started when I was about eight. My dad put up storm windows on the porch outside of our old house and when he was done, I saw a small bee walking back and forth between one of the panes. I ran and told him about it, but he was too busy with the car. All I could think about was that bee and as I continued watching it I started feeling sick. It was like a sudden wave that came over me and as I looked at it I began to feel what the bee was going thru. Confusion, hot from the sun, not understanding why it was outside but yet couldn't go anywhere. So, I got a screwdriver and a stool, and took the bottom screw out. There were clips holding the rest of the window against the frame as I pried the bottom of the window out and moved it toward me but the bee wouldn't fly out. It just kept pacing back and forth on the wood strip. I tried to blow at it and well, the next thing I knew, the pane came out of the clips and as hard as I tried to steady myself, I went over backwards as the window came down and smashed against the stool. I started screaming my eyes out as my dad rounded the corner and picked me up. He didn't yell at me, and I wasn't hurt, but as I looked up, the bee was gone. All I cared about was that bee. From then on, It was mice, spiders, ants, and so on, and now that I'm older, it includes people. Mostly kids and seniors. It has gotten worse since I was little. Without rehashing things I've already posted, I get physically over the sink sick when I see bad news involving little kids or teens on TV. It almost always involves animals, kids, or old people and almost never middle aged people. I think it has to do with helplessness and I have been compiling a lot of data myself. Most of the similarities between you and I have to do with what I just posted. Its the next part that I'm interested in knowing about. The part where you say "I lock eyes with a person and just know how they feel" and the other one where you talk about the "vibes" that the world is throwing you. You didn't say enough about that, and that part is by far my biggest problem. A week ago I saw a little boy lying on the ground crying at the park while I was on duty, I went up, knelt down next to him and told him to look at me. I did that to make sure he wasn't hurt. When I looked into his eyes, There was nothing there. No vibes, nothing. His mother ran over too and we learned he was being bullied by an older boy and wasn't distressed about something else. I don't get a (I hate to use this word) "connection" all the time. I have been trying to separate the two distinct feelings I have. One is being emotionaly sensitive to sad movies, sad songs, (that bee) or when I involuntary have tears come down my face when I sing songs in church, etc, and the "other" one that I can't explain yet. That one scares me a lot sometimes because I never can tell the degree that it will affect me. Some may feel that I'm either delusional or simply making this up, but I'm not. I can look at some people and be inside them in seconds. The little kids, the ones that are crying, .....they can really throw it out to me. It becomes intense and when I get affected like this, I feel my heart beating and I normally can't. If I keep the eye contact with them, I begin to feel what they are feeling and feel as sad as they are. Now this is the scary part and god kill me if I lie, but I sometimes can tell why there sad like I got way inside them, or they me. I mean its vivid. I feel my breathing deepen too and it scares me to death and thats why my dad sent me to a physco. You already know the rest if you have seen my other posts. The seniors too, especially the women, can really connect with me and from what I feel they are telling me, I hope I don't get old. I want to know what "vibes" you get and what triggers them for you. Soon, I'm going to tell my dad that I don't want to go to the doctors anymore and I don't want to take this med anymore, and I don't want an MRI either. They are not going to help me. I have to help myself by finding all the data I can and sort it out. I'm doing that now but dad may be the problem of me quitting. Good luck to you......and PM me if you want to talk secretly. Bettina
HonorableOne Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 When I smile at a young child at the grocery store who has its' face turned from mine, sometimes the child immediately turns and looks into my eyes and says hello. This child is an empath. Some do not respond. When I send the emotion "curious" to a child sitting with her grandparents on the bus, her face became distraught. This child is an emotional empath. This child also felt uneasy receiving emotions from another without an apparent reason. This child was older, about 7. The older a child gets the more likely it will not be comfortable communicating using emotions. EMOTIONAL FEELING SENSATIONS, EFS, a term I use a lot in my copious research papers on empathic communication, is a subject I have studied for over thirty years. Being aware of your sympathy towards bees and other creatures is the start of empathy. Being aware you are receiving an emotional feeling sensation that is not your own is a result of years of meditation for me. My opinion is that people who hear voices psychiatrists believe are a part of that person that cause distress, those people are picking up loose thoughts of others that are on the same EFS brain wavelength. That is why they seem like the same thoughts as one might have, they simply are a reflection of a persons' emotional content. I have never taken pyschiatric drugs for a negative mood. I focus on the emotion I want and feel it to dispell feelings of anger, fear, fear or frustration. I am currently researching herbal and naturopathic remedies and augment a diet of veggies, fruit and mostly fish to return to health. This info will be published on my website in the future. It is important that you realize the eventual effects to your health as a result of absorbing NEGATIVE EFS that is sstress and tension causing. Emotional reception of others feelings is empathy. Feeling sad about someones misfortune is sympathy. As I stated most people who are not sympathetic to others are not empathy aware. Most people who have serious misfortune are feeling physical pain, their sadness at hat misfortune comes afterwards, this is what a empath picks up. There are no prescribed drugs or street drugs that help the situation.Telepathy which might be better named "telempathy" is the communication between two or more people or creatures. Yes it can be thinking in words. However this planets most intelligent population is currently at the provable level of only recieving one emotional telepathic sending before that person is startled off the continued track of conversation, emotional or thinking in words. So currently I have conversations with peoples subconsious levels, sometimes while they sleep. sometimes while we both sleep. More accurately, in a dream, the conversation takes on the cloak of many things others have scene that make up what I see in my dreamscape. Enough for now. Remember practice feeling happy on purpose for no reason. More latter. Relax everyone, it is not your fault empathy and telepathy were not taught at home or in schools when you were still having fun with it. The common reaction to receiving feelings and thoughts not your own is a powerful emotion, EFS startled. Startled leads quickly to excitement, and makes having a conversation very difficult, especially telepathically. Don't be sorry you feel empathy, this world is changing and many of you will be wise older people someday aware that some young children are actually speaking to each other in sentences without talking out loud. We are at a wondrous time in our history, and I see that changes are coming, it is inevitable.
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