Thomas Kirby Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 I do have some ideas for you, Bettina. First off, do not let anyone lead you around, especially me, seriously. In some ways I am a good teacher, but I do not have a lot of experience, I do not have a connection with a discipline, and it's hard for me to avoid using stilted speech patterns when I start to talk about these subjects. You need to learn to actively defend yourself from negative emotions. I may myself be the ranking expert on taking in negative events and giving them reality within myself. I'm real good at it. It is OK for you to survive and feel good. If you were the one who was attacked, how would you want your family and friends to feel, not about you being attacked, but about life in general? Would you want them to go on with their lives after a suitable period of mourning, or would you want them to feel bad the rest of their lives? I've seen what happens to people who feel bad about an incident for the rest of their lives. I already know that you don't want that. "Universal guilt" sucks. It is noble to be self-sacrificing, to be willing to take all the negative energy in the world into you so that no one else is forced to feel bad. It also hurts a lot and makes you feel helpless, and eventually used. No one who is so willing to help deserves to feel that way. I have an opinion about the right way to take care of this. You do need to take charge of yourself. You do need to set up shields. "White light" exercises help a lot. I believe the advice of some psychics, that negative energy is something that people need to get rid of and not hold on to. I do believe that emotional energy is real.
Bettina Posted June 28, 2005 Author Posted June 28, 2005 I know that crappy stuff goes on in the world. I know that people die' date=' people hurt other people, and poeple get hurt. There's nothing I can do about it, I can feel bad, but that's it. I could tell everyone, "I feel so bad that something bad happened to some one else." I'm sure that that is what the person who got hurt would want us to do, just to feel bad all the time. I'm sure it helps them a lot. Anyways, everything you have experienced can be (and has) easily explained scientifically, and I see no reason that it isn't just normal feelings of a normal girl.[/quote'] You sound like my dad a few years back. Now though, even he knows there is something else that can't be explained. I'm working on it....and thanks. So when did you have the first one? what time of day' date=' what sort of situation?[/quote'] First?..... I can remember my baby years. Being spoon fed, sleeping in a crib, etc. Then, I remember being on an electric jeep when I was 4 trying not to run over ants if you want to go way back. The first bad one? That was a girl named Jon Bonet Ramsey. I was 8 years old and saw her photo on television. I began getting dreams, scary ones. I saw the photos in magazines. Thats probably when it all started, I guess. I do have some ideas for you' date=' Bettina. First off, do not let anyone lead you around, especially me, seriously. In some ways I am a good teacher, but I do not have a lot of experience, I do not have a connection with a discipline, and it's hard for me to avoid using stilted speech patterns when I start to talk about these subjects. You need to learn to actively defend yourself from negative emotions. I may myself be the ranking expert on taking in negative events and giving them reality within myself. I'm real good at it. It is OK for you to survive and feel good. If you were the one who was attacked, how would you want your family and friends to feel, not about you being attacked, but about life in general? Would you want them to go on with their lives after a suitable period of mourning, or would you want them to feel bad the rest of their lives? I've seen what happens to people who feel bad about an incident for the rest of their lives. I already know that you don't want that. "Universal guilt" sucks. It is noble to be self-sacrificing, to be willing to take all the negative energy in the world into you so that no one else is forced to feel bad. It also hurts a lot and makes you feel helpless, and eventually used. No one who is so willing to help deserves to feel that way. I have an opinion about the right way to take care of this. You do need to take charge of yourself. You do need to set up shields. "White light" exercises help a lot. I believe the advice of some psychics, that negative energy is something that people need to get rid of and not hold on to. I do believe that emotional energy is real.[/quote'] I am beginning to learn things....lots. I will post in another thread....Scientific studies by real scientists. Thanks for trying to help me. I know the physco I go to isn't going to help me. More pills is something I dont want. Soon, it will be no more doctors or pills.....That I know for sure. Bettina
IFeelYa Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 Helllo Bettina, ive skimmed over your story a bit here. i am also an empath so i understand what your going through, though mine doesnt react as strongly as yours usually. I hope you dont stay on medication too long, the docs tried that on me and most of the other empaths i know and it doesnt work at alll, rather it is more a matter of learning control which can be quite difficult. I hope you will continue to post your progress. You are not alone. Hi. I am trying to research ways to controll my empathy. I am wondering if you have any tips. How did you learn? Are there websites you suggest; or books? Thanks for letting me take your time.
Thomas Kirby Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 It's difficult enough to strike a balance with a normal amount of empathy that does not have the habit of intruding on your senses all the time.
reverse Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 The first bad one? That was a girl named Jon Bonet Ramsey. I was 8 years old and saw her photo on television. I began getting dreams' date=' scary ones. I saw the photos in magazines. Thats probably when it all started, I guess. Bettina[/quote'] Ah yes, I know of the case. I found it very unsettling myself. The whole situation seemed unusual. Not a good side of humanity for any child to know about.
Bettina Posted June 28, 2005 Author Posted June 28, 2005 Ah yes' date=' I know of the case. I found it very unsettling myself. The whole situation seemed unusual. Not a good side of humanity for any child to know about.[/quote'] I never wanted to say this, for fear of losing whats left of my credibility here, but I don't care anymore. I saw her killed by her brother. Bettina
YT2095 Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 you`ll not lose any credibility here for having feelings it`s no coincidence that this is my 1`st post in here either, some of us just choose not to discuss them
reverse Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I never wanted to say this' date=' for fear of losing whats left of my credibility here, but I don't care anymore. I saw her killed by her brother. Bettina[/quote'] her brother? how old was her brother at the time?
Bettina Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 her brother? how old was her brother at the time? This was just a stupid dream, but he was 9 at the time. In my dream, I saw him kill her in his room. I don't know why she was there, but he ran and told his parents. I saw the mother crying as they moved the body downstairs and fixed her up to look like someone else did it. It was a scary dream that made me sleep with my dad that night. However, now that I'm older, I'm still convinced he did it...and I still remember vividly being inside that bee. Crazy huh? Still collecting articles.... Bettina
reverse Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 how does your vision match the residual evidence? What did the coroner have to report?
Severian Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I think there is a difference between being perceptive to other people's thought and feelings, and actually feeling their feeling though some sort of empathic link (whatever that may be). I think I am quite perceptive, in that I know when people are down or worried or whatever, but I certainly don't empathize with them. (To be honest I am not a very 'nice' person, so it usually doesn't change the way I behave to them either.)
YT2095 Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 (To be honest I am not a very 'nice' person, so it usually doesn't change the way I behave to them either.) I beg to differ, whatever is that gives you the idea that your "not a nice person" is betrayed by your actions here, and so unless you`re here on a massive ego trip (and I don`t think you are) you`re ceratinly willing to spend some of your time helping others to understand what you do and share, that isn`t the typical hallmark of a "nasty person" secondly, I`m curious to hear how you respond being on the RECEIVING end of "empathy/sympathy"? it`s got to have happened at some time in your life.
Severian Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I beg to differ' date=' whatever is that gives you the idea that your "not a nice person" is betrayed by your actions here, and so unless you`re here on a massive ego trip (and I don`t think you are) you`re ceratinly willing to spend some of your time helping others to understand what you do and share, that isn`t the typical hallmark of a "nasty person" [/quote'] Aww, now I feel all warm and fluffy inside! What I really mean is that in real life, I am often accused of being cold and distant - but I do think I notice people's feelings, and just don't react to them. secondly, I`m curious to hear how you respond being on the RECEIVING end of "empathy/sympathy"? it`s got to have happened at some time in your life. It generally makes me uncomfortable. I find people often misread me (because I don't show my emotions often) and think I feel some way that I really don't. (My wife does this a lot.) I quite often don't correct their misunderstanding which just reinforces it I think. I was a bit mollycoddled by my mum when I was a boy, so I think I have developed an aversion to people showing me sympathy if I am a bit down or ill.
YT2095 Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I think I have developed an aversion to people showing me sympathy if I am a bit down or ill. THAT I can relate to, in fact I detest it when Ill, if anything it make me feel worse LOL, sooner just ignore it and carry on as normal cheerz anyway, I was just curious and we still hate you
Bettina Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 It generally makes me uncomfortable. I find people often misread me (because I don't show my emotions often) and think I feel some way that I really don't. (My wife does this a lot.) I quite often don't correct their misunderstanding which just reinforces it I think. I was a bit mollycoddled by my mum when I was a boy, so I think I have developed an aversion to people showing me sympathy if I am a bit down or ill. I can understand that. Thats not what empathy is like. I would not offer you comfort or feel your discomfort if you were not sending me an invitation. Empathy only works if a person is asking for help. This does not make you a bad person if you are an unemotional or "cold" type of person. (My dad never shed a tear during the Titanic movie and I felt like slapping him). Bettina
reverse Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Hi B. this is from the FBI. Did the behavioral science unit do a profile of the killer of Jon Bonet Ramsey? What did it indicate? If no profile, what do you think might be elements of a profile of the murderer, based on your experience and what you know of the case? Candice DeLong: I'm sure that profiler. Approximately 95% of the time a child dies in the home from blunt force trauma to the head. An adult primary care taker is usually the culprit.
-Demosthenes- Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 (My dad never shed a tear during the Titanic movie and I felt like slapping him). It's probably important to remember that stuff like that isn't real.
reverse Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 ummm...boy you sure are in line for a good slapping. ps the soul ( subconscious ) can not define reality from fiction, like the aware part of the psyche can.
Severian Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 (My dad never shed a tear during the Titanic movie and I felt like slapping him). Neither did I. In fact I was screaming "Sink, God-damn-you!" at the screen... The bloody thing seemed to sink in slower than real time.
Bettina Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 Hi B. this is from the FBI. Did the behavioral science unit do a profile of the killer of Jon Bonet Ramsey? What did it indicate? If no profile' date=' what do you think might be elements of a profile of the murderer, based on your experience and what you know of the case? Candice DeLong: I'm sure that profiler. Approximately 95% of the time a child dies in the home from blunt force trauma to the head. An adult primary care taker is usually the culprit.[/quote'] I have 5% left and she said "usually".... It was just a vivid dream, but in my dream, I saw myself as her and saw my brother killing me. Don't tie this in with my empathy problems. I know this was merely a childhood nightmare like falling off a cliff. But my "intuition" tells me it was 100% him. It's probably important to remember that stuff like that isn't real. I know what you mean about movies , but I was always interested in the Titanic ever since seeing the National Geographic in school. It showed pages of photos, and when I finally saw the John Cameron version in the theatre, I thought it was a very accurate representation of what "most likely" happened. Although the people in the movie were only computer animations, I was emotionally overcome knowing there was a time when there was a real ship, real people, real emotion, real screams, and real death and I believe it sank just like it was shown. Neither did I. In fact I was screaming "Sink, God-damn-you!" at the screen... The bloody thing seemed to sink in slower than real time. My dad was on his third box of popcorn without shedding one tear. Et Tu Brutus?...... Now there are two I want to slap. Bettina
reverse Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 You actually may have much more than 5% to play with. I think that the baby was unusual because she was a celebrity. This would remove her from the typical statistical model.
mike90 Posted July 2, 2005 Posted July 2, 2005 In reply to Ifeelya, i wish i had something concrete to tell you about how to control it. After a couple of what i would term " nervous breakdowns", ( much of the stress that caused these was from my everyday life, but the empathy was like the straw that broke the camel's back) my mind sort of shut down my empathy by itself. But as I've mentioned previously my resulting emotional state is less then ideal.( read: miserable)im ipretty much in the same boat as everyone else, struggling to cope and find support, which i usually get solely from my empath friends. and to Bettina, what you describe is rare but not unknown among empaths, ive known a couple that have had similar experiences with clairvoyance or visions. I continue to wish you good luck
Bettina Posted July 3, 2005 Author Posted July 3, 2005 In reply to Ifeelya, i wish i had something concrete to tell you about how to control it. After a couple of what i would term " nervous breakdowns", ( much of the stress that caused these was from my everyday life, but the empathy was like the straw that broke the camel's back) my mind sort of shut down my empathy by itself. But as I've mentioned previously my resulting emotional state is less then ideal.( read: miserable)im ipretty much in the same boat as everyone else, struggling to cope and find support, which i usually get solely from my empath friends. and to Bettina, what you describe is rare but not unknown among empaths, ive known a couple that have had similar experiences with clairvoyance or visions. I continue to wish you good luck From Wikipedia.... Results of some parapsychological studies, such as the remote viewing studies, suggest that clairvoyance does exist (though that interpretation is disputed strongly by critics), and that it does not in general require another person to send the information being received, i.e. it can to some extent be distinguished from telepathy. However there are as yet no satisfactory experiments designed that cleanly separate the various manifestations of ESP. Some parapsychologists have proposed that our different functional labels (clairvoyance, telepathy, precognition) all refer to one basic underlying mechanism, although there is not yet any satisfactory theory for what that mechanism would be. Thanks for being thoughtful Mike. Rare? When that last event ocurred, I asked my dad if he thought I was a freak. He said I was a "rare bird" whatever that means, but no freak. He is biased so he doesn't count. I, however, am my biggest critic and I fight me all the way as you can see from that Wikipedia paragraph above. Although I have been reading about precognition, I'm not ready to classify myself as anything except a person with some mixed up chemicals in my brain. Yes, I have been worrying about "nervous breakdown" which is why I haven't said goodbye to the physco doc yet. But I will... On a humorous note, my closest friends wanted to know if I was reading my teachers minds thus getting my A- honor student status. My reply was that if I could, I would be an A+ honor student. I see nothing when looking at my teachers. They are cold, and unemotional. Smart yes, but thats it. I see nothing. I get my grades by doing my assignments and have been blessed with being able to remember everything told to me. President Clinton has that gift too. I was always mesmerized by the fact that he could give a speech for an hour and a half without notes or teleprompter. So can I to a lesser extent. But thats it. Politics are boring, but I always liked to listen to him talk. He has enormous verbal power and would have been a great teacher. I will take all the data you can give me....or from anyone. Bettina
mike90 Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 Well I've seen some strange things, most of them from a friiend i used to have that made me aware of my own empathic " abilities". Among the things ive seen or experienced are precognition and limited telepathy, including what people would think of as " mind reading" , which ive actually had done to me and i must say was disconcerting. I've also experienced emotional bonds beyond my ability to put into words, to the point where i wasn't sure where my psyche ended and someone elses began. Also certain people send off abnormally powerful auras of negative energy. Often tiimes I've found the only defense against this form of emotional vampirism is to distance yourself from these people. And no, skeptics, I can't prove any of this. =P
Bettina Posted July 3, 2005 Author Posted July 3, 2005 Also certain people send off abnormally powerful auras of negative energy. Often tiimes I've found the only defense against this form of emotional vampirism is to distance yourself from these people. And no, skeptics, I can't prove any of this. =P This is the part that relates to me as I have mentioned in my other posts. I don't know what "they are sending", all I know is old people and children can throw "something" out when they want to, and sometimes that "something" scares me big time. Nobody else I'm with senses it but me and I have learned not to mention it anymore in front of people. Just a few close friends that don't tell and here where nobody knows me anyway. I know what you mean about the "aura". Bettina Edit: P.S. The problem with skeptics is that they were once your friends, then became skeptics, then don't want to be your friends anymore. It's happened even here too.
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