Goats and human evolution

[pavelcherepan]

So here I was talking with a colleague from Morocco and he was telling me about Argan tree goats that live there and how crazy and vicious creatures they are. Being not familiar with the animal in question I googled some images and then suddenly it was all clear!

 

The great and long-sought after answer was here all along! Goats! Why else would prehistoric ancestors of humans get down from the trees? It's so nice and comfy there, hard for predators to get to you, but no, imagine you're sitting in the tree minding your own business and suddenly you're attacked by a vicious goat! How terrifying!

 

I also had a look at some pictures of ancient human bones with so-called "signs of damage by weapons". But it's much easier than that - it looks exactly like something that goat horns would do! It most definitely was a victim of the fist human-goat war at 2 million B.C.

 

I also found proof that goats were well organised and employed a scorched-Earth tactics as you can see in the image below. They would take control of all the trees they could and utterly obliterate all the rest so that humans would starve and die! How clever of them!

 

 

At the moment I'm putting all my thoughts on a paper and will send it to Nature magazine and I'm very sure that this will entirely change everything that we knew of human evolution. We're on the brink of great discoveries and I urge you to take part so we can all be famous and maybe get a joint Nobel Prize!

 

I think that international community and the UN should do all in their power to establish communications with the international goat community, because it's obvious now that they are much smarter than we all thought and might even have the answer to the question of life and Universe and everything!

 

GOATS!!!!!

Edited May 16, 2015 by pavelcherepan

[Delta1212]

I swear to God I thought that picture and every one that came up in a GIS was photoshopped until I looked for video of it. That seriously might be the single strangest thing I have ever seen.

[Danijel Gorupec]

Amazing!

 

...how crazy and vicious creatures they are.

 

Obviously crazy!... I suppose the Argan fruit is a laxative that makes them vicious too.

[MonDie]

[Phi for All]

I, for one, welcome our new goat overlords with open arms and crossed knees.

[dimreepr]

They're everywhere.

[Phi for All]

They're everywhere.

 

If they eat away at that dam long enough....

[dimreepr]

It's a long term plan, we need to wake up people; spider-goats are just the start, the tiger goat phase won't be pleasant.

[Phi for All]

Starting the PETA organization was a masterstroke. They have their pet humans in the highest positions of power.

 

[dimreepr]

Come on America, do your duty, eat more goats; you may just save the world.

Starting the PETA organization was a masterstroke. They have their pet humans in the highest positions of power.

 

 

 

 

LMAO +1

[Robittybob1]

From a hunting point of view goats up a tree would be an easy target.

[John Cuthber]

From the point of view of anyone who understood fire, tree goats would look like convenience food.

[Phi for All]

From the point of view of anyone who understood fire, tree goats would look like convenience food.

 

Stick some peppers, zucchini, and tomatoes on the branches first, to lure them up there....

[Acme]

Stick some peppers, zucchini, and tomatoes on the branches first, to lure them up there....

Mmmmmmmm! Cabrito kabobs. Goes great with tequila.